Guided Meditation for Panic, Anxiety and Fear

Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself.  ~Samuel Butler

There are times when all of us will know fear, when anxiety will slowly cripple us, when panic takes hold. I’m not talking about those moments in life that truly deserve such a heart-jolting response; a gun pointed at us, the moment before a car crash, watching our child move into danger, fleeing a flood or a fire… I’m talking about those days, weeks or months where, stretched to breaking point, (for some of you, well beyond that place) or confronted with being well outside our comfort zone, our normal coping mechanisms go haywire, and we find ourselves in the midst of a physical response that hinders rather than helps us.

Since I developed cardiomyopathy I’ve come to know this set of emotions rather well. Crazy really.  My enlarged heart needs to be calm and unruffled. But when it does something unexpected, some days I feel myself edge towards anxiety, fear or even worse, panic. It can be a scary thing when your body does things that cause sudden acute pain, or a feeling of impending death. And fear begets fear!

Just last night as I lay in bed it felt like my heart had turned to jelly and was wobbling all about on a plate in my chest – an awful flubby, slurpy, erractic heart-beat feeling. Oh, for a moment I was gripped with fear. For a moment I could feel myself slide towards panic. And of course that’s the last thing I need to be experiencing. How will I ever heal if I sit in that energy?

Fortunately I’ve been a life-long meditator, and I have tools at my disposal to help put me back into flow. So I said to myself, ‘I shall do a meditation.  If it’s not any better by the end I shall call an ambulance.  But if it’s better I’ll do more meditation and then I will go to sleep and wake up feeling better, stronger and clearer.’  And of course, that’s what happened.

So much of this wave of horrid fear, panic and anxiety is about us feeling dis-empowered, and unable to effect any control in our lives. It’s true that we may not be able to have control over things external to us, but we are always able to influence our thoughts, our emotions, even our physical reactions.

I’ve recorded a guided twelve minute meditation that takes you through the process I use for myself to find that calm centre within, to regain my strength and composure. The more your practise this meditation, the more you will come to find that you can get on top of these feelings, and return to a place of peace. Have a glass of water ready.  When you are finished, drink some of this water to help anchor the images and feelings created during your meditation.

Nicole Cody’s Guided Meditation for overcoming Panic, Fear and Anxiety

Sending much Love, Light and healing energy to you ♥ Nicole xx

The baby who needed to speak…

(this gorgeous image by Michelle Meiklejohn)

Okay, so I’m a psychic.  No secret there.  It’s an odd thing to be in our mostly rational and scientific world, but I’ve come to accept who I am and I live in a way that honours this energy within me. Does it define me?  Sometimes.  But I am also more than this particular skillset – and I certainly don’t foist my abilities on the unsuspecting. If people need me, I trust that they will come to me.

I can’t turn off this flow of psychic information, but I have learned to manage it, so that most of the time it is just background noise.

That’s why yesterday rattled my cage a little. During a break I went to a local cafe.  It was quiet and I was the only patron.  After a while a mother and father entered, with their baby in a pram. The parents were tired and fractious. I looked up only to see who had come into the room, and then went back to my pot of chai and my book.

Suddenly I had the feeling of being stared at.  I looked up, and into the intense blue eyes of a young baby boy sitting in a highchair – he had craned around to see me. I smiled and then kept reading.  He kept staring. After a while his mum became frustrated with him and kept guiding his attention back to their table.  He kept cranking himself around to stare at me.  It began to get a little weird.

Finally I left. As I stood at my car the family walked past me. As soon as the little boy saw me he began crying and reaching for me. A series of images flashed through my mind. The mother stopped pushing the pram and her child stopped crying.  She started walking and he began to scream, reaching for me, his face turning a mottled purple from his efforts. Help me, I heard his voice in my mind. Tell them.  His mum stopped again, distressed, and I walked the few steps over and took her child’s outstretched hand. He stopped crying and smiled at me.

“I don’t know what’s come over him,” said the baby’s mum. “He’s never behaved like this before.”

“I’m sorry, ” I said, although I did not know why I was apologising.  Before I knew it I’d opened my mouth again.  ”Your husband’s having trouble sleeping.”  I said it as a fact, knowing I was right.

“Yes,” she said.  ”For months now. Nightmares.  He won’t tell me what about.”

The images came to my mind thick and fast as her baby son clutched my hand.  Two young boys, barely more than toddlers. Tousle-haired twin brothers. A farm. A gun. A terrible accident.

“I’m a psychic, ” I said.  ”Your baby is communicating with me.  He wants your husband to know that he is Jamie.”  It all came out in a rush.  ”He’s Jamie and it’s all okay and he loves him enormously.”

“I wanted to call our baby James, but my husband wouldn’t let me,” she said. Her voice took on an edge of hysteria. “Did I call him the wrong name?”

Her baby began to scream. The woman slumped against my car, and her husband came running over. “Tell him what you just told me,” she said, in tears, trying to comfort her infant son, who was still gripping tight to my hand.

Now I felt beyond awkward, but I repeated what I had said.

“How can I believe you?” the man said angrily. I thought he might hit me.

This is why I don’t do this stuff, I was silently reminding myself, wishing I was anywhere but here…

I lowered my voice so only he could hear me, briefly explained the images I had seen, and gave him the words in my head – the name of the farm, the year, the make of the car and its colour, the checkered red and black wool rug on the front seat, his own name, and the name of his brother who died in the accident; James.

Now this big tattooed man began to cry. Through his tears he told me his story. Jamie was this man’s twin brother, killed twenty-six years ago when the boys found a loaded rifle on the front seat of their father’s car. The gun had discharged as they played with it. The man had begun having nightmares about the incident he barely remembered from shortly after his wife had conceived.  He thought it was because he somehow didn’t deserve to be a father – that he might put his child into danger, or fail to protect his child somehow. He had never told his wife about this tragedy from his childhood – the family had never spoken of it again.

“I always thought he had the same eyes as my brother,” the man said.  ”Does he forgive me?” he asked.

I nodded. “It was an accident.  He wants to be with you now, he wants you as his Dad.  He chose you both. He loves you so much he did all he could to come back and be with you.”

“Hello mate,” said his dad. Then he gave the baby a big hug.

“He won’t remember,” I continued.  ”By the time he can talk he will have forgotten who he is.  He’ll just know he’s your son. But he needed you to know.  He needed you to have peace.”

The baby stopped crying as I stopped speaking. He let go of my hand. Within a minute he was asleep.

The family walked off, arm in arm, peaceful. They didn’t say anything else to me. They didn’t look back. I stood lonely, depleted and shaken at my car for a moment, and then got in and drove home.  Message delivered.

Such is my life…

PS – I felt compelled to google the words ‘James’ and ‘reincarnation’ a little after writing this blog post and I found this. I thought you might find it interesting too. ♥

Places that remind you of who you used to be…

The first time I went to Yum Cha was a revelation. It was a crowded barn of a restaurant in Sydney, and my small table were the only Caucasians in a sea of dark hair. They didn’t even have a menu in English. My friend Geoff, who speaks fluent Cantonese, took us there, and did all of the ordering for us. The place was bustling, and small children played happily amidst the tables, dodging the streaming trolleys of food as they creaked around the room.

Of course the food was fantastic.  But it was more than that.  In that chaotic asian soup of sounds, flavours and faces I felt as comfortable as if I’d been born to it. I sat back in the madhouse din, all smiles. My soul felt nurtured, satisfied, home.

Years later, my sister and I often ventured to Sunnybank in Brisbane for an evening meal in one of the small family-run restaurants in that predominantly Asian suburb. The place we favoured had the worst translation of a menu I’ve ever seen, laminated tables, a clacketty old electric fan that pushed heat-wave summer air around in slow circles, and cheap plastic decorations. It had the ambience of a hospital waiting room. The food was home-style but tasty and the owners got to know us so well that after a while they just brought us a soup, a main, some sort of dessert – whatever was going, without us having to order. We loved the place.  It felt like family.

When my husband was working overseas and I was struggling with a farm in drought, miserable with fatigue and acute loneliness, I would allow myself a fortnightly treat of yum cha on my own. Sitting by myself at a small table, with the routine of trolley, crowds, noise and family chatter around me, I always left feeling calm, comforted and reassured. A standard cafe never had the same effect, no matter how kind the staff or how delicious the food.

Why? Why Yum Cha?

It didn’t make much sense to me until I explored China, and then Thailand. These foreign places felt as familiar to me as breathing. The food, the crowds, the smell of the air. The first time I saw a line of bald-headed buddhist monks in their saffron robes, I was brought inexplicably to tears.

I was welcomed into temples, strangers encouraged me to pray and leave offerings at their family or workplace altars, monks sought me out for conversation. I knew some of the chants and meditations, although they were not in my native tongue, and I had not been taught them. I felt as if I had come home.

I’m sure Yum Cha stirs past life memories in me. They must have been good lives, for I find much comfort there.

How about you?  Have you ever felt a crazy kind of connection to an unfamiliar place?  Or known the place on first visit without having ever been there before?  It’s more common that people realise.

Even if you don’t believe in past lives, you can still find places that take you back to a different time in this life, and to interests, dreams and skills you might have forgotten.

Wishing for you a day of reconnection and positive memories. And maybe some Yum Cha. ♥ Nicole xx

Using Scent to Time-Travel

 

Have you ever wished you could travel back in time?

After being so deeply connected to my dear departed Great-Aunt yesterday through the fragrance of roses, it got me thinking about the number of times a smell or an odour has transported me to another time or place.

Scent can be a powerful memory trigger. No need for a fancy device to take you places.

Sense of smell is a tool I often use in my creative writing to help make my imagined world more real and three-dimensional.

The smell of the ocean – that good, clean briny smell – always relaxes me and makes me happy. It reminds me of my grandfather, who often took us sailing. The smell of spicy rum reminds me of him too.

Lavender reminds me of my Nana.  When I was little and couldn’t sleep she would sprinkle a little lavender water on my pillow, and give me some on a hanky as well.

Even now, when I have trouble sleeping, I reach for the lavender oil and am reminded of my Nana’s love and kindness.

Lavender also reminds me of fairies!

 

I once kicked over a clod of damp earth in a horse paddock and was transported back to my childhood, and the memory of a man called Bob Bone, who had a team of Clydesdales. I had forgotten all about this man, and his magnificent team of horses, but thirty years later, here I am again as a wide-eyed child, mesmerised by these huge animals and the skill with which Mr Bone worked them.

Now I use smell intentionally as well.  I light incense when I meditate and the association between the fragrance and the act of meditating helps me move into that relaxed and focused state much more quickly. Lighting a stick of incense when I am stressed helps calm me and put me into a meditative space, even when I am not actually meditating.

I use aromatherapy oils in a burner to promote or enhance certain moods or mental states. For writing I usually choose this oil blend to enhance concentration and mental clarity.  It’s also a great blend for studying so that you remember what you’re reading!

  • 1 drop Basil
  • 2 drops Rosemary
  • 2 drops Cypress

I also use essential oils in bath products and cleaning aids for the same benefits.  (Here’s a great website with free recipes and information if you want to try this yourself)

What smells trigger good memories and associations for you? Favourites for me are baking bread, fresh coffee, rain, jasmine and smoke from the wood stove. Wishing you a day of fragrance and memories. ♥

Comfort comes in many forms…

I drove from my farm to Brisbane very early this morning, leaving before dawn.  To be honest, I was feeling a little flat. It’s something I know you can all relate to.  Sometimes life just weighs you down a little.

As much as I love my work, I felt sad to be leaving my husband and animals for a week, and the energy of my land, and the love and support they all give me.

I am in the middle of a stoush with my insurance company for a property badly damaged in the floods over a year ago. Still nothing has been resolved, nothing repaired, nothing agreed to. This week I really need to take the fight to the next level. It’s exhausting and relentless.

My heart is bothering me, as much as I am hoping for it to settle down. The heat of the past week or so has seen me gasping like a fish and unable to do farm work or even gardening. The tightness in my chest is back. I have had to rest, to take things easy, to sit or lie down when I would prefer to be active and involved. This week I had to watch as neighbours lent a hand to do the cattle work I would normally do. I’m grateful for their kindness and their help, but I’m aching for my life to get back to normal.

So I am driving to Brisbane, feeling a little blue, with the work week stretched ahead of me.  Suddenly the cabin of my ute fills with the scent of full-blown roses.  A great feeling of peace comes over me.  I feel a warm unseen hand on my own as it rests on the steering wheel. It feels as if a golden river of light infuses me.

“Courage, my dear.”

Those simple words, spoken as if by someone right beside me.

I know it is my Great-Aunt, who passed many years ago.  She is always recognised by the scent of roses. She looks out for the women in my family.  Today she looked out for me.

I am buoyed by this wonderful energy, love and connection. I am reminded of my own strength, and the strength of my family line.

And I am shown, once again, that love and connection are eternal – stretching well beyond our own lifetimes. I’ll get through this. These trivialities of life are nothing in the end.

Sometimes comfort and support come from the most unexpected places. ♥

Home-made fresh Orange Jelly Recipe

This is a delicious old-fashioned jelly recipe that is firm enough to be used for a molded dessert. It’s quick to prepare and after you’ve tried it I’m sure you’ll prefer it to packet jellies. It can be easily modified to suit diabetics by using a sweetener instead of sugar, and is gluten and dairy free. If the oranges are very sweet you may not even need to use sugar, or may like to use a dash of agave syrup or honey instead if you are on a sugar-free and sweetener-free diet. (I’m not a fan of artificial sweeteners but I’m suggesting it here for those of you who use them for yourself or loved ones.)

Ingredients: Four oranges, plus one or two extra if you would like to have orange segments suspended within your jelly. 4 tablespoons gelatin, 175ml (1/2 cup) of water, 175ml (1/2 cup) hot water, up to 4 tablespoons of castor sugar OR a sweetener of your choice.

Method:

Pare the rind from the four oranges OR zest them if you like a textured jelly. Place the rind/zest in a saucepan with the half cup of room temperature water. Simmer for five minutes to transfer the orange oils into the liquid.  If you chose to use rind parings remove them now.

Now juice the four oranges, remove the seeds and add to the water in the saucepan. Test for sweetness and add sugar or sweetener to taste.

In the half cup of hot water dissolve the gelatin, letting it sit for a minute or so until all lumps have gone.  A fork works well for stirring this!  Add the gelatin mix into the saucepan of liquid and stir through.

If you would like to add orange segments to your jelly ( a delicious textural addition and well worth the little bit of extra effort), use your additional oranges for this. The youtube clip below shows the easiest way to do this. If you are going to present your jelly in a bowl you could keep some of these segments for decorating the top of your jelly after it has set.

Make sure you have removed any seeds/pips from the segments before you add them to your jelly. Don’t add any extra juice though – just the flesh.

*At this stage you may like to add a dash of Cointreau or Grand Marnier for a tasty adult dessert. Up to a tablespoon works fine.

Lastly, pour the jelly into a serving bowl or a wetted mold. (If you wet the mold first it helps the jelly come out easily later).  I was recently given this funky silicone brain mold, and had been looking for a reason to try it out, hence the brain shaped jelly at the top of the page!

Cool in the refrigerator for four hours or until firm.  This jelly sets much firmer than a conventional packet jelly. You could actually slice it to serve if you wished.  It goes well with a good vanilla icecream, or you could whip a little cream and toast some almond flakes for a fancy finish.

I actually served this jelly with coconut milk yoghurt, for people who can’t eat dairy. Coconut cream would be another good choice. It makes an excellent flavour combination. Enjoy!

Journal for Spiritual Clarity and Connection 2 – All about my Mind

The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.  ~Albert Einstein

Week 2:  All About My Mind

This week we are focussing on our minds and all that entails for us, including putting our ‘thinking spaces’ in order.  Our plan is to understand and connect with our minds; our thoughts, knowledge, expectations and goals.

Journal Exercise:

This week, write in your journal about your career and life aspirations.  How could you challenge yourself to grow?  Dancing lessons, trekking in Nepal, a language or a hobby?  Is there something that you have stopped doing,  or would love to do?

Use any of these starters to help you:

  • I have always wanted to learn…
  • I used to really enjoy…
  • One thing I would really like to achieve is…
  • A thing I find difficult that I would like to master is…
  • A thing that I am naturally good at, but would be even better with lessons or a mentor is…
  • When I was younger I always imagined myself doing…
  • I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve always wanted to…
  • My real strength is in my ability to…
  • Everyone has something they are good at, a natural intelligence.  Mine is…

Spend time identifying your stresses.  Work out ways to limit these, or to better manage them.  Look into meditation, relaxation and yoga.  Be active in looking for solutions, and in asking for help.

Use these starters to explore what stresses you:

  • I often worry about…
  • I feel sick or anxious when I think about…
  • The thing I feel a constant pressure about is…
  • If we argue, it’s always about…
  • The area where I’m really ashamed of myself is…
  • The thing that embarrasses me the most is…
  • If I could change one thing it would be…
  • It would be such a relief if…
  • The thing that frustrates me and drives me crazy in my daily life is…
  • The thing I feel slipping away from me is…

Activity:

Make time to relax and/or meditate for ten minutes each day.

Read a good book, and make a list of others you would enjoy reading.

Clean out your filing cabinets, desk, old address books, bookcases, and anywhere notes, knowledge and ideas are stored.  Archive anything you need to hold onto by law, and refile or bin the rest.

Do something stimulating – learn to drum, do crosswords or take up knitting.  See a play, concert, gallery showing, or movie. Enrol in a cooking class or French lessons. Trust that if you look after your mind, stimulate it and challenge it, it will continue to serve you well throughout your life.