Telling yourself a better story

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Image from Flickr – slightlyeverything

I really haven’t had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I’d rather tell a story about somebody else.
Kurt Cobain

We all tell ourselves a story.  We often tell that story to others too. Our story is the way we see ourselves in the world, our view of what’s happened to us in the past, and who we are because of it.

Sometimes our story is sad, sometimes, it’s funny, sometimes it’s downright terrible.  And we trot that story out time after time; for ourselves, our families, our friends…

But what if that story doesn’t serve you? What if that story compounds low self-esteem, or failure, or loneliness? What if that story is a constant reminder to us of a painful time in our lives?

The Law of Attraction states that whatever we think about most and talk about most is what we draw to us.  That or things of a similar vibration.

You need to ask yourself if you want to keep living that story.

Because maybe it’s time to write a new one…

Tell yourself a different story – image from freedigitalimages.com

Journal Exercise:

Today, write yourself a new story.  Make it up, like any good writer would, but let it have a few bones that are real.

Tell yourself a story that is empowering and positive.

Look for examples from your life that illustrate a different truth for you – of times when things have worked out, when people have been kind or helpful, when you’ve known success, when miracles have happened.

Or, if you are feeling brave, or creative, just write a new and entirely ficticious account of your past, present or future.

What is the life you would like to live? Write about that AS IF IT IS ALREADY HAPPENING!!!

Here are a few prompts to get you started.  Choose whatever most appeals and then start writing:

  • My life is unfolding in the most exciting of ways…
  • The place I’m living now is so well suited to me.  It is…
  • You’ll never guess how it happened.  It all worked out perfectly in the end. One day…
  • So we’ve been together for…
  • And one day a letter came in the mail and it said…
  • The doctors couldn’t believe it…
  • My life is so blessed because…
  • It’s my dream life.  I have to pinch myself to remind me that it’s real. Now my world looks like…
  • I answered the phone and you’ll never believe who was on the other end…
  • OMG! This is exactly what happened, and it’s FABULOUS…
  • It feels so good to be able to…
  • My career is going from strength to strength.  Already I have…
  • I’ve planned the most amazing holiday.  It starts with…
  • Such wonderful relationships in my life.  Let me tell you a bit about them…
  • Now there’s no more money worries because…
  • My proudest moment is…
  • I finally achieved…

Words really do have a magical power in your life.  So choose them wisely – when you write them, speak them, think them… Expect magic and know that you are worthy and deserving of good in your life. NOW is your time to invite the future to look different to the past.  Believe! ♥

Image from favim.com

Hey Sister, You Okay?

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Image from holmsteen.dk

I was looking forward to Saturday. In the last few weeks I’ve supported a friend through the end stages of terminal cancer, holding her hand til she passed, ridden the roller coaster of supporting an addict in recovery, and juggled my daily work and writing. Saturday was this wonderful window of calm in front of me like a soft pillow to lay my weary head.

Nothing went to plan for me. My do-nothing day of leisure and self-replenishment which I had so looked forward to became about helping others through various crises and melt-downs.  It’s okay.  The Universe obviously cleared my calender so I’d be available for the people who needed me most.  But it was an emotionally draining day, capping a difficult few weeks, and it left me wrung out.

I was driving through the inner city late yesterday when the traffic suddenly slowed.  Cars tooted their horns.  People yelled and gestured. I though there must have been a dog on the road.

The traffic slowed to a stop.  I couldn’t see what was happening, so I said a quiet prayer, asking that the animal be okay and be guided back to safety.  Finally the cars began moving again, swerving around something in the middle of the road.  Some stopped to hurl abuse as they drove past. I craned my neck, trying to see what was obstructing our way.

Imagine my horror and disbelief when I saw an elderly aboriginal woman in the middle of the road.  She was just sitting there, a shopping bag beside her on the ground, one shoe off, grazed knees.  I pulled my car over to the side as soon as I could find a park and raced back to check on her.

“Hey, Sister,” she croaked at me as I got closer. “Can you see me? All the rest of your mob think I’m invisible.”

“Hey, Sister,” I called to her.  ”I see you. You okay?”

She swung her head towards me, squinting in the sun, but said nothing.  I waited for a car to pass and crossed over to her.

“Hi, I’m Nicole.  Are you okay?  Do you need some help?”

She nodded her head yes.

I helped her up, and over to the footpath. She was unsteady on her feet and I wondered if I should call an ambulance.

“Sorry, love. I’m real sorry.”  She leaned heavily on my arm.  ”I just live along here. Too late eating lunch and my strength’s gone. I came over all dizzy. I’ve got sugar,” she said weakly.

“You’re diabetic?” I asked as we walked up some steps to a small flat.

“Yes.”

I got her inside, and she asked me to make her a sandwich, while she ate some jellybeans.  Then her neighbour popped in and said she would make her friend a cup of tea and stay with her until she came ‘right’ again.

Before I left I asked if there was anyone I could call, or if she wanted me to take her to the doctor.

The old aboriginal lady patted my hand. “I’m alright now I’m home. You know, you’re a true nice girl,” she said.  ”Brought up proper. Your mother and grandmother, you do them proud. Here….”  Reaching over to a box she pulled something out. “This is for you.”

She opened a small drawstring bag and put the contents in my hand, one by one.

A bag full of treasures

“This shell, it’s from up my country.”

She placed it on my palm, and tiny grains of sand stuck to my fingers.  I wanted to hold it to my nose and smell the sea.  Suddenly I was homesick for my little farm at Byron Bay with a physical ache.

“Got this stone from the river.  See how nice and smooth it is.” It was a piece of clear quartz, tumbled milky, and still luminous. I felt such comfort, and thought of Angels.

This one,” she held up a twisted grey rock, “I got this one off the beach. It reminds me of a baby wrapped up tight in his blanket, trying to talk to you. Feels real nice in your hand.”

“This one – it’s coral.  Looks like an alien head with them two eyes.” She chuckled. “Friendly fella for watching over you.”

“And this last one, he’s a fossil crab, real old from the old times.  Good for protecting your soft heart.”

I left with brimming eyes, embarrassed by her kindness.

And I never asked her name.

Today I’m holding these precious treasures in my hands and feeling humbled and awed. I wonder if she knew how much these things would mean to me, or what they symbolise after so hard a day, so hard a week.

Hey Sister, you okay?

I feel like it was HER watching out for ME.

Rainbow Dreaming. Rainbow Tribe. We are One. ♥

Doing Nothing is Productive!

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Image from wallpapers-biz.co.cc

Are you one of those people who needs to be productive?

I certainly am. Not from any external pressure –  I just LIKE getting stuff done, and I always have several projects on the go, a big fat to-do list, as well as a schedule that stretches out towards the horizon.  Life, and its possibilities, lights my fire!

But there is nothing like a good dose of burn-out to help you realise that less is more, and a dose of near-death really does help you to clarify your priorities.

Where one upon a time I worked endlessly, I now work in bursts, and then have some time out that is totally unscheduled.

Before my big cycles of crash and burn, repair, go full tilt, crash and burn, repair, go full tilt, crash and burn – okay, you get my drift – my life looked like this:

Image from freeicons.eu

I was a busy little robot working harder and harder, doing more and more, and somehow expecting that I could just carry on that way forever.

I actually thought that if I worked harder and harder I would achieve more and more, ad infinitum.  But of course you end up working with the Law of Diminishing Returns.  More does not make more.  More becomes less.

More work means less sleep. Less fun.  Less clarity.  Less inspiration.  Less connection.  Less well-being. Less healing capacity.  Less opportunity to be spontaneous. Less flexibility.  Less ability to cope with the unexpected. Less true creativity. Less chance of seeing new possibilities, meeting new people and expanding in new directions.

When you keep trying to fit more and more in, something will inevitably break, and that something might be you.

I know this, because I’ve been there.  More than once.  And most of it has been self-inflicted.

I’ve had to ask myself the big questions in life.

I am okay with diminished output if it means better quality of life, and a longer life. I mean, realistically, how much can you get done here if you’re dead? And in the end, does any of that stuff on your to-do list really matter?

So now my life looks much more like this:

Image by Lecsmile – Photobucket.com

I have periods of deep rest, relaxation and doing totally NOTHING.  And then I have periods of doing things, being active, connecting, learning and being crazy-mad infatuated with taking up all life has to offer!

Truth is, I’m more productive than I ever was, in the areas that matter to me.

I hadn’t expected that.

Oh my goodness I wish I’d know this important little nugget of wisdom years ago.

Less is more.

Image from msugradwellness.wordpress.com

That’s right.

Doing nothing is good for you.

If you don’t know how to do nothing, here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Naps.  Napping is awesome!
  • Curl up on the couch with a magazine.
  • Go to bed early or sleep in.  Sleep all day if you feel like it.
  • When something frees up in your schedule, don’t fill that spot with another task or expectation.  Let yourself luxuriate in that new spare time.
  • Dawdle. Potter along on a nice slow walk, amble through a park or shopping mall.
  • Go to the movies.
  • Read a book.
  • Nap.  Did I say that already?  Oh well.  Have another one!
  • Lose yourself in a book.
  • Hang out at the library.
  • Go for a surf.
  • Get a massage.
  • Take a bath.
  • Quit something so you can free up your schedule!
  • Say no to things you don’t want to do.
  • Have an early night and bunk down with some tasty treats and a good DVD.
  • Go on holidays.
  • Have a phone free, computer-free day.
  • Stay home and do… nothing! No housework, no odd jobs. Do what makes you happy. Maybe some craft, or cooking, or just hang out.
  • Spend time with the ones you love.
  • Sit in a coffee shop and read the weekend papers while having a long breakfast or an extended brunch/lunch.
  • Go window shopping, just to pass the time and fill yourself up with images, ideas and dreams.
  • Sunbake.
  • Sit by the ocean or the river.
  • Perch on top of a mountain.
  • Fluff around, not getting anything much done, but not minding that either.  Some people call this procrastination – I call it exploring my desk or kitchen drawers to see what’s really in there…
  • Spend time with the family pet – these guys really have relaxation down to an art!

Magic happens when we give ourselves down-time. And a magical life is definitely one worth living. You never know what might happen if you just create a little space in your day…

Image from The Fox and The Child, Hopscotch films, 2009

 

My Embarrassing Affirmation Confession

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Image from thebeginwithinblog.com

You affect your subconscious mind by verbal repetition ~ W. Clement Stone

Affirmations are a known powerful tool for change, and are used by many people for creating positive shift and personal growth.  Louise Hay has made affirmations a modern-day medicine for the soul. (You can sign up for her daily affirmations here)

An affirmation is a simple statement, said in the present tense, that affirms positively a fact or situation that is desirable in your life.  You state that thing as if it is already happening, and you repeat that statement many, many times, to imprint the message in your subconscious mind, so that this thing becomes true for you.

Here are some common examples:

Image from affirmart.blogspot

Image from affirmart.blogspot

Image from alexafalk.blogspot

I must admit that when I first heard about affirmations I was quite sceptical.

Stating something as a truth and then repeating that statement often, even if it hadn’t yet shown up in my life, seemed a little daft.  If nothing else, I felt  fake to be claiming things that weren’t actually true for me yet.

But the experts agreed that affirmations could change your life. What did I have to lose by a little positive thinking?

And this is where my embarrassment comes in…

I created a test affirmation.

I didn’t affirm that I choose health.  I didn’t affirm that every day in every way I am getting better and better.  I didn’t even affirm that great wealth is mine now.

No.  My affirmation was pretty much a deliberate act of ‘New-Age Thinking’ defiance.  There was nothing spiritual or enlightened about it at all. I chose it because I expected it to fail miserably.

This is what I chose:

Everything I want is always on special

That’s right. I affirmed that whenever I wanted to buy something, the Universe would provide it for me at a discounted rate.

Image from l3electronics.com

I thought this was hilarious when I made it up. It seemed like the silliest idea in the world. But I dedicatedly repeated my affirmation whenever I thought about it – which was often seeing it made me laugh so much, and seeing I was going through a pretty rotten time financially back then.

And here’s the second part of my embarrassing confession…

It worked!

If I needed chocolate, my favourite brand was on special. Pasta? Reduced to clear! Holiday? Stay ten nights, pay for five.

The more I affirmed, the more noticeable it became until one day I just accepted this statement as my new reality.  Everything I want is always on special.

I’m so well known for this affirmation now among my family and friends that they expect this miracle to roll out for me too! I recently went to the shop to buy some ice-cream for dessert, taking a friend with me. “I knew this would be on special,” she said as she took a tub of heavily discounted premium deliciousness. “I should come shopping with you more often!”

We needed a holiday. A few days ago my husband and I booked a cruise. Why a cruise? We got 78% off the advertised rack rate. And then got a room upgrade!

Image from maritimeheritage.org

When we went to book the airfares QANTAS was having a one day sale, and  a return ticket from Brisbane to LA was ridiculously discounted. The travel agent couldn’t believe our good timing. We just smiled, looked at each other and repeated Everything I want is always on special.

Affirmations work. I have plenty of others that I use now too, but my first ever affirmation is still my favourite.  It might not be ‘spiritual’ but it’s lots of fun, and it affirms to me that I live in an abundant and benevolent Universe.

Here are some others that I love:

Something wonderful will happen to me today (I love to affirm this when I first wake up – it sets the tone for my whole day!)

All good things come to me

I am surrounded with kind and helpful people

My creativity flows, and my good ideas are endless

My body is returning itself to health. Healing and well-being are my natural energies

If such simple thinking can change your life, and bring positivity and joy, maybe it might be worth you trying some affirmations for yourself. The video at the bottom of this post has some good ideas for affirmations too.

I’m holding you in that good space – wishing you well, wishing you love, joy, health and abundance.  Bless xx


Let the Teacher appear…

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Image from wallpaper.net.au

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~ Henry David Thoreau

If you have a dream, chances are you’ll need help to get there. Whether you want to write a book, climb a mountain, win Olympic Gold, speak a new language or improve your health, your best bet will be to attract a good teacher into your life – one who will believe in you, and have the ability to help you to grow and to shine.

Sometimes the only thing that holds you back from success is not a lack of talent or good ideas, it’s a lack of knowledge, skills or techniques.  But that doesn’t have to be an obstacle – trust that there truly is someone or something out there in the Universe that can help you bridge that knowledge gap. Someone will have walked that road before you, and they’ll be willing to show you how to follow in their footsteps…

Image from personalexcellence.co

You might need a coach, a mentor or a teacher. Maybe a course or a book will help.  It might even be a job, a radio interview you just happen to tune in to, a magazine article or a useful suggestion from a stranger.

Know that the Universe is listening, and that it responds to your call.

Let the Universe know that you’re ready.  Ask for support.  Ask to be shown.  And then trust that the perfect person or information will show up in your life.

Image from thehiyL.com

I’ve created a short guided meditation to faciltate this process, and help you draw that teacher or resource to you.  All you need to do is listen, and stay open to the possibility of help turning up in your life:

Nicole Cody’s Guided Meditation for calling Teachers into your life

 Believe in yourself.  Believe in your dreams.  Allow yourself to be magnetic to change and growth.  Now is your time to shine! ♥ xx

Image from amandacollins.me

Bert says sorry…

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Hello, I’m Bert, Nicole’s trusty secretary…

And I’d like to say sorry.

 

You see Nicole wouldn’t play with me this morning.

I tried my best to look fetching, but she kept ignoring me.

I even tried emotional manipulation…

But she was still ignoring me!

When she went to do her yoga stretches that was the final straw.  I sat on her mat in protest!

So now she’s taking me for a walk instead of writing her blog. Sorry about that! hahaha

I’m taking my ball and my mum and I’m outta here. Bye! xx

Walnut and Basil Pesto & Pasta Recipe

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My summer garden plantings are coming to an end, and I have more fresh basil than I know what to do with. The rabbits, possums and wallabies don’t like it much, and have left plenty for me – while they nibble my kale, parsley and coriander into oblivion!

These wallabies don’t like basil! Luckily I do…

This pesto recipe is such an easy dish to prepare.  You can have it on the table from scratch in twenty minutes!

Ingredients for the Pesto:

A few big handfuls (I mean BIG!) of fresh basil leaves, two or three large cloves of garlic, a small wedge of parmesan cheese, olive oil, and a cup or so of mixed nuts and seeds – I used walnuts, pine nuts, pepitas (pumpkin seeds) and sunflower seeds. (Adjust your quantities to suit the size of your blender/whizzer and the number of mouths you need to feed.) Note: You can really use whatever nuts and seeds you have to hand.  I just like walnuts!

Plus – some fresh vegetables, enough to feed your crowd, and some pasta of your choice (gluten-free if needed – or you can swap out pasta all together for a big plate of steamed or roasted vegetables instead) – once again choose enough to feed you, and I’d strongly advise cooking extra to ensure some left-overs as this makes a great cold salad the next day!

Parmesan cheese and garlic

Method:

Peel the garlic, and add to the food processor bowl with some parmesan cheese cut into small chunks.  Whizz until combined. (If you’re vegan, omit the cheese – if you’re a cheese nut, add a little extra…)

Then heat a heavy bottomed frying pan and dry-fry your nuts and seeds until toasty.  Transfer to a bowl so that they don’t keep cooking in the hot pan.

Toast nuts in frypan

Wash your basil and drain well.  Then get your pot of water on to boil for your pasta.

Wash basil and drain well

Add a handful of leaves to the food processor bowl and whizz.  Then add a handful of nuts and seeds and pulse again.  Now pour in a small slug of olive oil.  Pulse.

Keep doing this until you have used up all your leaves and seeds.  Taste and adjust flavourings, quantities and texture until you’re happy with it. The resulting pesto mixture should be glossy, bright green, and quite moist. Don’t be afraid to add a little more oil if it looks too dry. Season with salt and pepper or add a little chilli if you like it with a bit of heat (Mmmm!)  I quite often add a little fresh lemon zest too.

Feel free to dip in a spoon or a bit of bread and have a cook’s taste while you finish up dinner.

Whizzing it all together

Chop up your remaining vegetables, as these will go in your pasta! I like to use my frypan and a little oil and give them a quick stir-fry so they caramelise slightly to give the dish a richer flavour, but you could also dump them into your saucepan and let them get cosy with your pasta as it cooks.

Vegetables from the garden

Drain pasta. Put back into pot, add vegetables and pesto and stir to combine. Serve with some good bread, and a little extra cheese (if you like that sort of thing…) Enjoy ♥ xx

Dinner!