Your Life is YOURS to Live!

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”  ― Oscar Wilde

Life is a precious gift, and one that can be all too brief. Before you came to this life, you had a deliberate intent to be here.  You chose your parents.  You packed your bag.  You came forth into this world with a plan, or at the very least a sense of adventure and possibility, and a rough checklist of things you thought sounded interesting.

So here you are. This is it – your moment!

How’s that working out for you?

Life really IS for living.  Not for existing. Not for pleasing others. Not for mere surviving.

It doesn’t have to be about riches, winning, and being super-productive. Life is not measured only in achievements or possessions.

Life is about experiences, relationships, following your heart, finding pleasure in the small moments, being satisfied with who you are, where you are, and who you’re with. Or being excited about where life is taking you, and allowing your life to be a glorious work in progress.

I had a client come to me recently where I got a very strong glimpse of a past life – the one immediately before this one.  This man had been a soldier in World War One.  Before that he’d been a teacher.  He hadn’t wanted to go to war, but he went ‘to do the right thing’.  He left his new wife behind to fight in the trenches and absolute misery and hell of the Western Front and then Passchendaele. He survived, only to come home and find his wife and mother dead. He later died from influenza; cold, lonely and miserable.

The Second Battle of Passchendaele – Image from jamesmay.blogspot.com

Why was that relevant to his next lifetime? All he’d thought about, during the war, and in between lives, was about what he wanted for this next life. He wanted a simple life. No great responsibilities; a gentle life of suburban ordinariness with his wife and family.  The chance to grow old. To live in a warm climate, in a dry house, with plenty to eat, and enough to do to keep him busy. That was his dream, and now he’s living it.  He’ll never be famous.  He’ll never be rich.  But already he knows contentment. And contentment for him is enough.

Of course that’s not everyone’s path.  Some people have a flame blazing brightly within them. They have a driving passion to be or do something.

We all walk different paths and have different dreams. All we ever need to do is what’s right for us. We each come to this life for the experience – to learn and grow by making our own choices. And ultimately each of us seeks happiness, fulfillment, love. That is going to look different for every single person because we come from diversity and we exist in diversity.

Are you following your dreams?

Did you put them aside to live someone else’s dream for you? Do you say to yourself, ‘one day I’ll get to it…’  Did you sacrifice your dreams to let someone else achieve theirs? Or are you doing something you don’t want to do because you’re told that ‘this’ is what’s expected of you.  Are you down the bottom of the pile, letting other people stand on top of you to reach theirs through your unrewarded efforts?

Or did you just give up?

You are not here in your skin to live this precious life for others, or to let them live through you. And you’re not here to fix things, or make things right for ‘them’. This is not a duty call.  This is not a dress rehearsal.  This is your one shot to make this life work for YOU.

Life too short to waste it on doing things you don’t want to do, being places you don’t want to be, or being in relationships with people who don’t love you or make you happy.

If you want to explore this further you might find these posts useful:

What makes you come alive?

Using your Internal Compass to navigate life

The Green-Eyed Envy Monster

Telling yourself a better story

Listen with your eyes

32 thoughts on “Your Life is YOURS to Live!

  1. Do we really pick our parents Nicole? I can’t imagine why I would have picked the route I started on…that baby me wasn’t thinking clearly.

  2. Jo (above), I can totally understand where you’re coming from (from one Jo to another! lol). I have learned many lessons from my parents, mainly about what sort of parent I DON’T want to be.

    Nicole, your line “And you’re not here to fix things, or make things right for ‘them’. This is not a duty call” is pretty much exactly how I feel when it comes to my mother. I feel she expects me to be there to constantly pick up the pieces for her. Recently I stood up (spiritually) and said “no more!!”. She can’t handle that and is still trying to cling to me for support. I hope one day she sees her life for what it is, but I fear it will be too late. But, as you say, that’s HER life and she’s mapped it out for herself. She is the only one who can figure out the way forward.

    I am living the life I wanted (bar a few things). I have a wonderful husband, a baby on the way, I love my job (most of the time!) and pastimes that make me happy. I know I have a wonderful life ahead of me, and I can’t wait to see what the rest of it brings <3

  3. Really special thoughts and reminders… I’ve “lived” lots of the challenging ways that are in the 2 paragraphs above the DalaiLama quote..and am soooo happy to have other opportunities now. I’m so enjoying living the life I’m living these days… I’m really happy with the shifts… : )

  4. This is a really though-provoking post. I love the idea that we chose our parents and actively wanted to be on this earth. Makes you think that everything you have gone through has been for a good reason- to help support and mold you into the person you are today. Your posts are always so well-timed for me. I have been struggling a lot lately with figuring out who I am and you really help me with that. Thanks so much, I really can’t tell you how awesome finding your blog has been for me!

    • I’m glad to be able to support you in some small way, Gabby. Remember to enjoy the journey – even when it doesn’t make any sense. Part of why we’re here is to create our own meaning, and to define ourselves! Much love to you xx

  5. I <3 this song. My kids sing this almost everyday with so much heart. No matter what tune their singing, it's absolutely the best music in my life! It's a great song to remind us we are one.. <3 love to you xx

  6. I was meant to discover this blog. Yes, we planned our lives before we came, it’s the only thing that makes sense to me. Looking forward to reading all your posts.

  7. Thanks for the reminder!! Yet another gr8 post. My girls and I luv that song. The words are very empowering.. Life is amazing and fortunately ever changing. I do feel very blessed everyday but definately have a lonon to be at the stage of living the dream life..

  8. I gave up on dreaming long ago. I am sure i had dreams at some point, but i can’t remember any of them. I can’t even answer a question like what do you enjoy doing? very strange, but i don’t have anything that seems important

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