“Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends”~ John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Few of us get there on our own. The journey is always made easier when we have support, no matter what that journey is. So my big question to you is this:
Who is YOUR support crew in 2014?
No matter what kind of year you’re in for, we all need friends and helpful people. People who can cheer us on, offer helpful advice, pick us up when we fall, do the things we need doing but cannot do for ourselves, lend their own kind of magic to ours for that beautiful effect that multiplies our success to be greater than the sum of the parts.
I know that most of you are a lot like me…
Sensitive souls, empaths, carers, healers, kind-hearted people – we are stunningly good at putting everyone else first, and being that support which others need – being a support person is just what we’re wired to do. And if we’d had rough patches in life we’ve become good at being resilient and self-sufficient too.
All of this means that we may not be so flash at asking for favours or putting our hand up for help.
This year I’m putting up my own hand and asking for help. I’m drawing to me the best support crew I can to get me through 2014. I’m also minimising my contact with the crazy-makers and relationships that drain or sabotage me and my direction. (Want help with toxic relationships? Click here!)
Mots of us already have a support network. We may even be putting energy into supporting THEM right now. The biggest issue for many of us is that we don’t ask, or have found ourselves in the habit of having the barriers up as we steam along in that solo kind of self-sufficiency mode. Or we just plain forget that these people are here for us to draw on.
Not all of our support crew will work for love. And that’s okay too. Hiring people to support us is a great act of self-love and affirmation of self-worth. We can also access this support through books, courses and audio files.
We all need a cheer squad, and sometimes we need more tangible help. The point is – we can’t do it all alone!!!
Right now I have my husband and my wonderful PA, Dana, creating firewalls and boundaries in my work and personal life.
My fridge is full of nurturing soup from kind friends. Others have offered to clean my house while I’m too unwell to do this for myself.
I may not be able to get out much, but my sister and a few friends are on speed dial. I have great neighbours, and a fabulous bunch of Soul Sisters from my mentoring groups and retreats. I have all of you, dear readers, lending your support and kindness.
My Sisters of the Pen are always there for online and ‘for reals’ conversation and support for writing and life. The Queensland Writers Centre is my go-to place for continuing development of my craft.
And beyond my emotional needs I have doctors, herbalists, accountants, a good lawyer, a web designer (Hi Tim!), dentist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, an online business mentoring group, lyme boards and forums, music, libraries, bookshops and the internet. I have the Farmers Markets and some wonderful local cafes. There’s also the yellow pages for when I need a plumber, a termite expert or a tree lopper.
Of course, none of these people will be any good to me if I don’t reach out and ask!
2014 is shaping up to be a big year, and it’s time to start thinking about who you need on your support crew.
To help you get a better picture of what that may look like I’ve created a simple journal exercise for you!
Journalling my Web of Support
Here are some simple questions for you to think about and journal. Don’t feel that you have to answer them all today, but DO give them thought over the next few weeks.
1. Who in my family can I draw on for support, guidance, laughs or to help me lift that heavy bookcase? Remember that it’s okay to include loved ones who’ve passed over. I talk to my grandparents all the time!
2. Which friends in my life (online as well as people I’ve met in person) are supportive of me, my interests and my ambitions?
3. What do I really need to get done this year that I keep putting off?
4. Do I really need to do this myself? Who can help me with this thing? What kind of support do I need for each of those goals or tasks? Do I know someone? Can I pay someone?
5. Who can help me with my health this year?
6. Who can help me with my finances and/or business?
7. Who can help me with my spirituality and soul questing?
8. Who can I laugh with?
9. Who can I cry with?
10. Who’ll cheer me on up that mountain?
11. Music, movies and other motivators that keep me feeling good about myself and on track?
12. Habits and actions I KNOW do me good and support my journey?
I hope in some small way that I can support you too, through my blog and my facebook page. Let’s make this our best year yet – together!
Lots and lots of love,
Nicole xoxo
Excellent post Nicole…we are here for you! xo
I know – and that’s a wonderful feeling. 😀 xoxo
Wishing you love, support and healing Nicole. I would love to be part of your support web, a shining web of love and support sounds fantastic. I’m not sure how helpful I could be…. my support network is one – Ray is wonderful but it’s too much for one, isn’t it?
I apologise if this sounds odd, I’ve had a truly awful week and tonight I’m diverting myself with what I’ve missed without a computer, and I’m under the weather with meds. Perhaps it’s not too much to be support for each other?
Be well dear one.
Blessings
Susan x
I nave never read your blog before Nicole, only half read it , and shut the computer down because it upset me so much . I have realized , apart from my husband , I have very few people around me for support . That’s why I thank you for the last year … giving me lots of ideas to help me grow .
Keep well .
Cherry x
I love this list as well..look forward to my answers. Love xxxx
Thank you x
We’re in! But we want to sit in the sidecar! We have matching helmets! Love bert and harry xx woof!
“Pit Crew” is exactly what it is. I agree with Carly. It’ll be a bit tough getting used to having one but change never comes if we don’t start with learning new behaviours and changing old ones…..I’m sure I’ve read that somewhere before 😉
Pit Crew really sounds like it deserves team t-shirts don’t you think? 😀 Big hugs and love to you, dear friend xx
I hope in some small way I can be part of your own support crew. Much love, Nicole.
Oh honey, you already are! xoxo
A support crew, I need a support crew, I don’t have one there is just me, oh does my wonderful blog pals count, and I guess I could count Tim (hubby) not that he is a lot support at times, like this morning I am watching 3 children and he is in bed sleeping yes he has to go to work but still I am up dealing with children and he is sleeping. So who is there to support me, honestly I don’t know I guess I will just muddle through like I always do.
Absolutely blog pals count! Sometimes, at my most ill and alone it has been those bright points of light on the other side of the world who have illuminated the way for me and held my hand from across the waves.
Can you reach out to other mums, or find a little time to join a class or an interest group?
Of course Tim counts! And we’re here for you too.
My prayer for you tonight is that this year your world expands to include a few more caring souls for you to laugh, share and cry with.
Much love to you, Joanne. Bless xx
It’s like a ‘pit crew’! Love you xoxo
Love you too, support sistah! xoxo
Nicole, I just love your list i think I am going to print that list put and sit in the sun and ask myself those questions. Yes solitary is good and there are times when there is too much solitary and it gets more challenging to reach out. I realise today I need to support me too as at 10 .30 on Saturday morning I feel like sleeping as i put in a very focused day and forgot part of my day is mean to be rest.
This post you wrote for me too thank you and I am here for you always and so much for getting together before the end of 2013- universe had other ideas for both of us, so now i am making it on of my to love to dos in 2014 on my 100 things list along with your retreat 🙂
all my love
namaste
Suzie xx
Ah Suzie – we both need to go gently right now, and to put our hands up when we can’t do it alone.
I love the idea of you sitting in the sun working on your web of support.
I hope you count me as one of those threads.
This year, my dear!!! This year, we shall find a way to have that cup of tea together. Bless xx
ahhh yes, touches a nerve that one….one I ponder often. The road of the solitary traveler. I feel so much incredible support from the ‘unseen’….so many have supported me thru these 3 yrs of intensive Healing. But I’m really missing the fleshy kind, the manifest hearts in human bodies. This is a big focus for me this year. I’ve been solitary for far too long. Of course I’ve learnt and been given so much….but I long to feel those loving arms hold me tight. It’s on it’s way……lotsa luv to you dearest Nicole xxx
Solitary is sometimes necessary. I know that some of my road has been about walking that path on my own.
But oh how good it is to laugh with someone, or to cry. To share stories and hugs, or a cup of tea.
Sending big hugs to you, Marilyn. I’m glad we’re walking this part together. Bless xx
xxxxxx
I love this list and in particular having people to laugh with, cry with and to cheer me on.
I think all three are important, Elizabeth! Much love to you xx
Thanks.. Also I just read your link on ‘toxic relationships’ and this is a useful article for me. thanks again.
All the best for 2014.
For you too, Elizabeth! xx
We all need to reach out sometimes, and I believe that in reaching out and saying we need help, we show others that it’s ok to do this. Let’s help each other have a fab year 🙂
Amen to that, Sister! {{{HUGS}}} xx
🙂 xx
Excellent Blog hon….Hugs and am here you know.
Big hugs to you, Deb. It’s so true that we get each other through these things! 😀 xoxo