Don’t ever give up.
Don’t ever give in.
Don’t ever stop trying.
Don’t ever sell out.
And if you find yourself succumbing to one of the above for a brief moment,
pick yourself up, brush yourself off, whisper a prayer, and start where you left off.
But never, ever, ever give up.
~ Richelle E. Goodrich
It had to happen.
I’m on new treatment. We’re working on my detox pathways, and some brain rewiring and rehab before I hit the lyme drugs again for another round. Both my doc and I are new at some of this – both the treatment modes, and the regimes. They’ve been tried and tested by other doctors, with other patients, and their positive results have spurred us to try the same. (In my 30 plus years as a Lymie I’ve been a guinea pig for lots of stuff – desperation and a sense of the curious will do that to you.)
On the plus side for this new regime? We know it works. I’m getting noticeable results.
On the not-so-plus side?
Too strong. Too fast. Because of that I’ve gone backwards a little. A temporary thing. My poor old brain has been overstimulated, and my detox pathways are not coping with the load. So there have been some unpleasant side effects. Headaches. Ramped up pain. Small seizures. Temporary loss of vision in my troublesome left eye (neurological rather than an actual eye issue). Disrupted sleep patterns. Mega brain fog and exhaustion. Slurry speech.
Thinking is hard. Problem solving stresses me out. Or else I look inside my brain for an answer and there is nothing…
I got properly checked out, and I’m fine. I just need to rest. Rest some more. Cut back my program. Drink lots of water. Did I mention rest and avoiding stimulation?
Soon as I’m feeling better we’ll try again, more gently this time.
So I’m going to step away from blogging for a few days so I can have a proper no-pressure break.
At least I got to enjoy a semi-normal weekend just a few days ago. Moments like those are gold. They show me that everything I’m doing is worth it, even the less-than-fun spaces like the one I’m in right now. I’m miles ahead of where I was this time last year. It feels like a different life, that me of a few years ago where I was dying and every day was a miserable struggle.
A setback is just that. A setback. It’s only a failure if I stop trying. Anyway, if I’d quit when the going got tough I’d have died years ago. :)
This round of treatment has been a valuable learning experience about what not to do. Next round, I’ll do better!