Category Archives: Health and Wellbeing

How to take a Blessings Bath

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“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.” 
~ Henry Ward Beecher

Today’s post is all about nurture. I want to share with you a process that I call a Blessings Bath.  I usually take a Blessings Bath when I am feeling anything but blessed; when I am truly exhausted, wretched, miserable and broken.  It has never failed to get me into a better space. And once you move into that better space you can sleep. You can heal.  You can go on…

This is a beautiful ritual – a mini-break you can treat yourself to whenever you need that extra love and care. It helps if you can gather your materials together beforehand and make the effort to create a space that is inviting and relaxing.

It’s best done at the end of the day, when you can move from your bathroom to the bedroom and enjoy a restful night’s sleep.

Here’s what you’ll need:

  • A bristle brush for dry skin brushing
  • A bath (if you don’t have a bath you can modify this by using a deep bucket or tub for a foot bath)
  • A shower
  • Your choice of bubble bath, bath salts, epsom salts and essential oils.  (An epsom salts bath is an excellent way to de-stress, get some magnesium into your frazzled system, and cleanse your aura as well as your body. If you’d like to lean more, click here).  At a minimum use the salts, but I must say that I love the comfort of some good bubbles too – invest in a good quality body wash or foam that is free of nasty chemicals. You’re worth it!
  • Your choice of crystals (optional, but good! – I’d recommend rose quartz, clear quartz, carnelian, hematite, howlite or blue quartz.  Use tumbled stones that you can place directly into the tub or bucket, and that are too big to get washed down the drain.)
  • Some soft fluffy towels
  • Candles, and something to light them with
  • Body oil or lotion (I use organic coconut oil ♥)
  • Relaxing music

Run your bath and add epsom salts, crystals, oils etc,  Make it tolerably hot if you are using epsom salts so that your pores open and you can detox from your lymph and uptake all that beneficial magnesium).  Turn on your music, softly, so that it is background music, and light your candles. (Please keep candles away from shower curtains and anything flammable.) Turn off the lights so that the room is dimly lit. If you live in a cold climate, make sure your room is warm!

Dry Skin Brushing:

Dry skin brushing stimulates our lymphatic system, helping us to detoxify and to improve our circulation.  It also removes dead skin cells and leaves our skin softer. Over time this beneficial practice can greatly aid your health and well-being, strengthening your immune system.  It’s also great for cellulite! As you brush, always direct your strokes from the extremities back towards your heart.

As you dry brush your body affirm to yourself I am ready to release. I am letting go.  Say it softly, over and over, as you brush.

Undress, then take your bristle brush and starting at the toes of your left foot use short smooth strokes to brush up to your knee.  Then work from your knee to your groin. Cover your whole leg using a soft but firm pressure.

Now work from your fingertips on the left arm up to the armpit. Swap and do your right arm. After this do your back, using long sweeping movements to go from your shoulders down to the middle of your back.  Then brush from your buttocks back up to the middle of your back.

Finally brush the front of your body – from your shoulders towards your heart and then your belly in a clockwise direction. Avoid your face, but do include the back of your neck.

Bath:

Step into the bath. (If you’re using a foot bath sit down and place your feet in the bucket.)

Settle in and get comfortable. Then place your hands so that they are resting on your heart. Gently repeat the words Thank You on every out breath. Do this for as long as you stay in the bath.

These two little words will powerfully shift those negative emotions and energetic blocks within your body, opening you back up to peace and flow.

Image from www.palo.gr

Image from www.palo.gr

Fee yourself soften and relax. Don’t struggle with your feelings. Allow any trapped or suppressed emotions come to the surface, stay focused with your hands on your heart and keep saying thank you. If you need to cry, do so. But keep saying Thank You.

When you feel calm and centered, step out of the bath. Turn on the shower (pull the plug if you have a combined shower/bath so you don’t flood the room) and rinse off the last of the bath water, feeling it running down the drain. Keep affirming the words Thank You, aloud or to yourself.

Finish with a short burst of cold water – about thirty seconds is fine.  This is fantastic for your circulation and immune system.

Towel yourself dry.

Oiling the Body:

Now that we have detoxed and cleansed our body we are going to nurture and love it some more. Take your oil or body lotion, and starting with your face, neck and ears gently rub the oil into your skin. As you do this say Thank You on every out breath. Really feel yourself connecting with and nurturing your body. Thank your body from your heart. Allow yourself to feel love and gratitude for your life.

Continue to apply oil, doing each arm and then your front, back and legs.  Pay attention to your fingers, toes and the soles of your feet.  Make sure every inch of your body is pampered and cared for.

Use a towel again to blot any excess oil, and then dress in something loose and comfortable.

Retire to your bedroom or somewhere else quiet and private.  Lie down or sit in a comfortable chair and rest or drift off to sleep.

I hope you find comfort and nurture in this ritual. Bless ♥ xx

**PS If you enjoyed this post please vote for my blog, Cauldrons and Cupcakes, in the  Best Australian Blogs 2013 Competition.  You can do that here.  Thank you.

Cloud Oracle – A Reading for your Emotional Well-Being

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Image from www.vk.com

Image from www.vk.com

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.”
~ Edward Abbey

Today I’ve channelled through some messages for you for emotional guidance and support. Right now there is strong energy for personal growth. The image you choose  will help support you through these changes.

Instructions for using today’s post

Scroll down through the following cloud images and then let yourself come back to the one you are most drawn to.

When you have chosen your image, scroll further down for your message; designed to help you focus on emotional well-being, decision making and life direction.

Trust that you will be shown what you most need to know right now.

Love and Light,

Nicole ♥ xx

The Wisdom of Clouds…

1.  Golden Clouds with Moon

Image © Ionflavio

Image by Ionflavio

2.  Tornado

Image from www.fanpop.com

Image from www.fanpop.com

3.  Heaven Afire

4.  Evening Clouds

5.  Streaky Dawn

6.  Storm Front

7.  Rainbow Clouds

8.  Heavenly Messengers

♥ The Healing Message and Gift of each Image ♥

Each cloud image has a message for you. I have also selected a crystal for your emotional support and wellbeing.  You could wear or hold this crystal, pop it in your pocket, under your pillow or beside your bed. (If you’d like to know more about working with crystals click here) The Power Word is a word to remind yourself of the quality you most need and that you are strongly attracting right now.  You can turn it into your own personal mantra by saying “I choose ___________ ” (insert your Power Word). Your Magical Healing Environment is a place or activity you’ll find supportive and healing.

1. ♥  Golden Clouds with Moon – Clarity and Perspective After a long time of feeling muddled and confused you are being gifted with a wonderful insight into your current situation, and wisdom to make sound decisions about your future.  There is a profound linking of heart and mind happening within you, giving you one of the most powerful periods in your life for creating lasting positive change.  ♥ Best Crystal – Turquoise ♥ Power Word – CLARITY  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Anything that energises you.  Join the gym, go for a run, sit in the sunshine, take a yoga class, go dancing – just get your body moving!!!

2.  ♥ Tornado – Harnessing the force within. Inside you everything is coming into focus.  Everything is building within you, enabling you to unleash incredible forces of creativity, inspiration and personal power.  Set your mind on what you want to achieve, get clear, get a plan and go for it! You can move mountains right now.  The Force is with You! ♥ Best Crystal – Clear Quartz  ♥ Power Word – FOCUS ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Anywhere where you can have that conversation, make that deal, forge that relationship, get that job done.  Don’t be afraid to seek a mentor, or a powerful ally.  Get advice and help from experts.  Do everything you can to make your vision come true!

3.  ♥  Heaven Afire – Heart Healing.  Love, passion, connection, sexual fire and personal charisma are all coming your way. You are beautiful when you glow from within with self love, self confidence and clarity about who you are and what you want in life. Expect relationship breakthroughs, reconnection and new starts! ♥ Best Crystal – Red Garnet  ♥ Power Word – LOVE ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Anything that nurtures you and makes you feel beautiful inside and out.  Get a haircut, update your wardrobe, have a massage or a beauty treatment, go surfing, laugh, dance and let your heart sing by doing what gives you joy.

4.  ♥ Evening Clouds – Endings and completions.  Take heart – you’re coming to the end of a major cycle in your life. Use this energy to tidy up the loose ends, to finish what needs finishing and to put everything in order. Simplify, and rest wherever you can. In every ending is the seed of a new beginning. Know that a bright new future is ahead of you and that you are well loved, guided and protected as you make this transition. ♥ Best Crystal – Snowflake Obsidian  ♥ Power Word – COMPLETION  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Anywhere where you can have time on your own to think, to plan and to finish things. Spend time with your journal at a favourite cafe, go to the library, stay home on your own, or go for long walks in nature.

5.  ♥ Streaky Dawn – Synchronicity and Helpful People. The Universe is conspiring right now to end your social isolation and bring you connection in the form of friendships, employment and other social, emotional and financial opportunities. Expect miracles, breakthroughs and amazing co-incidences.  ♥ Best Crystal – Fluorite ♥ Power Word – SUPPORT ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Reconnecting with people Take a course, join a group, invite some friends over, volunteer, speak to strangers, be helpful and smile often!

6.  ♥ Storm Front – Unexpected Changes  Can you feel it? The wise SOUL part of you is orchestrating big maneuvers, so don’t be surprised if suddenly you feel the urge to make a change, to commit to something new, to take back a commitment that had previously felt right.  You are gathering momentum.  Things can’t stay the way they are.  Get ready – change is coming!!!  And the change is needed.  And the change will be good! ♥ Best Crystal – LABRADORITE  ♥ Power Word – MOMENTUM  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Inspiration  Books, uplifting websites, lectures, courses -anything that gets you into that positive and inspired head space and that gives you the tools you need for what’s coming next. Be unstoppable!!!

7.  ♥ Rainbow Clouds – Easing and Relaxing  The hard part’s behind you.  Make sure you spend some time relaxing now, and letting go.  Bring fun and light-heartedness back into your life.  Practice gratitude and live with an open heart.  ♥ Best Crystal – Citrine  ♥ Power Word – EASE  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Holidays.  Whether it’s an afternoon, a weekend or something longer, plan an escape and take yourself away!

8.  ♥ Heavenly Messengers – Divine Connection  Loved Ones who’ve crossed over, Guides, Angels and other BEings of Light are all connecting with you now.  Be open to their love, wisdom and messages.  Trust in your unfolding psychic abilities. Live from LOVE ♥ Best Crystal – Amethyst  ♥ Power Word – CONNECTION  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – MEDITATION.  Go quiet, and go within.  Spend time on your own, and in nature.  Read, think and journal.  Practice connection and connect with like-minded souls for support at this time.

clouds

Know that you are in my daily thoughts, prayers and meditations.

If you enjoyed today’s post you may also like The Healing Power of Flowers and Fairy Blessings or my Magical Cupcake Readings!

**And if you’re feeling kind, please vote for my blog, Cauldrons and Cupcakes, in the  Best Australian Blogs 2013 Competition.  You can do that here.  Thank you.

Howling at the Moon

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Image from Wikia

Image from Wikia

 Those are the same stars, and that is the same moon, that look down upon your brothers and sisters, and which they see as they look up to them, though they are ever so far away from us, and each other.

~ Sojourner Truth

It’s 2 o’clock in the morning and I’m wide awake; fretful and fitful and just a bit teary.

Maybe it’s the Full Moon…

Or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve had three days of doctors, more tests and been given my new expanded treatment regime for Chronic Lyme.

I’m introducing three new drugs to the existing two.

That’s a lot of drugs…

And there’s a super-duper new restricted diet to go with that.

I don’t know why that should bother me.  I’ve spent thirty years following various diet plans, supplement and medicine plans and assorted other ‘get-me-well’ protocols. It’s not like I’ve gone from a normal life to this strangeness. This ‘strangeness’ is my normal!

I even have a helpful letter from one of my doctors, that I must use to release myself from a program I am now unable to complete.  I had to open the letter so I could fax it off to the recipient.  My doctor’s final words caught me by surprise, “her prognosis is guarded: I do not anticipate any form of recovery in the next twelve months. This is a most regrettable situation.”

Regrettable?  Yes, I guess it is.  And he makes me sound so sick.

Oh wait. That’s right.  I am.

I’ve been mostly coping okay, and I’m sure that after a bit more sleep I’ll be fine. But tonight, as my skin itches as if I’m being bitten by a thousand angry ants, as my left eye throbs and pulses from the bacteria inflaming my optic nerve, as my joins swell and pain, my head pounding, my ears burning, my gut a tortured length of misery, I am sitting in overwhelm.

I just want to howl.

I can imagine the wild dogs tonight, back at my farm, full voiced as they scream their collective angst and passion and solidarity to the sky.

I wish that I could join them.  The howl’s just there.  A primal thing pressuring the back of my throat.

But the neighbours in this respectable Brisbane suburb might think it strange to see a pyjama clad, tear-streaked woman howling her pain and frustration to the heavens. They’d probably call the police.

If I feel into this unvoiced howl though, if I lose myself to the pain, something comforting happens. Beyond the suffering and the infinite sadness at the loss of so much of my life to this damned thing, I find a strength. If I keep feeling into the howl I find a kinship.

I belong to a kind of fellowship, its members bound through the most primal and visceral of suffering. And I know something powerful about this membership – it transforms you.

Through this journey of chronic illness and pain I have found beauty, wisdom, courage and kindness. It has opened me up to a depth in myself I would never have otherwise explored.

I lay down on the couch, looking out the leaf-framed window to the silver moon above me. I feel the voices of the wild dogs.  I feel the kinship of the suffering on whom this same moon shines.

I am comforted. I am connected.  And I know it’s already okay.  I am okay.  I will be okay.

So I’ll keep gazing at the moon, bathe in her light, and wait for sleep to claim me.

Namaste ♥ xx

Image by Jess Newman

Image by Jesse Newman

Simple Antidotes to Resentment

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“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~ Carrie Fisher

Resentment – it’s a corrosive emotion that causes damage to the container, no matter how cautiously  you try to hold it in.

Why do we get resentful? You might not have ever been consciously aware of it, but resentment always comes down to time.  We feel resentful when we believe we’ve wasted time on something or someone.

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Most of us start out in a relationship or activity giving willingly of our time.  In fact, all of us have been in situations where we consciously choose to put our own needs, wants or interests to one side BECAUSE of what we consider to be a higher priority. We want to invest in a new relationship, we want the person we love to achieve their dreams, we want to give a new job our best shot, we want to give everything we can to the raising of our children.  We make sacrifices. And at the start we are glad to do that, even though it means we move into a place of imbalance.

But over time, if we don’t begin get a pay-off for the sacrifice we’re making (enough money, appreciation, acknowledgement etc) we start to get that niggly uncomfortable feeling that reminds us we are off our path.  In fact, if we are still neglecting the things that are important to us longer term, even if we are now well remunerated or appreciated, resentment will show up in our lives.

As a society we deal with resentment in one of three main ways, and usually in this order:

  1. We swallow it down and become a ‘martyr’, carrying on in our unfulfilling life and always putting others first.  We keep a lid on resentment, or worse: begin to live a colourless formless life that is all about function and never about heart or art.
  2. We simmer with anger and crankiness, which pops up unexpectedly in our lives as over-the-top reactions to people and situations, or as passive aggression.  We develop a fondness for muttering under our breath or closing doors just a little too hard.
  3. We slide into depression, despair and apathy.  We begin to give up on ourselves and our dreams.  We lose faith in ourselves and our abilities.

So what are we going to do about it?

If you suspect that you are burdened with resentment in any area of your life I’m going to ask you to do something radical.

Stop for a minute, and invite Resentment to come have a chat with you.  Don’t be intimidated by them, or scared.  Resentment looks like a five year old stompy-footed version of yourself…

Image from www.sheknows.com

Image from www.sheknows.com

The stompy-footed five year old inside you is very clear about what’s not working in your life right now, so why not let them get it all off their chest.

The best way to work with your Inner Child directly is to have a conversation between the Big You, and the Little You. You can do this through what is known as Left Hand – Right Hand Dialogue. It’s an easy thing to do! Simply find some different coloured pens or pencils. Use your dominant hand (the one you usually write with) to be the Big You, the conscious awareness of you as an adult. Choose one pen for this hand. Then use your non-dominant hand to represent your Little You, and let that hand pick a pen, or pens to write the responses.

Have your Big You write a question for your Little You, and then let your Little You respond. The writing will be awkward, so don’t worry about spelling or vocabulary. What you’ll get is honesty, and love, and isn’t that all we really ever need to get clear about life?

Here are some suggested questions to use with your Inner Child work:

  • Why are we so angry?
  • What’s the worst thing about right now?
  • What would we prefer to be doing?
  • What would make us happier?

Of course, your Inner Child will have a list of hurts and complaints, but don’t expect it to be all everyone else’s fault.  Your Inner Child has a lucidity and an honesty that will get right to the heart of your situation, and it might not be what you think!

I’ll share an example from my own life (about fifteen years ago) at a time when I was just starting to get hugely busy with my spiritual and psychic work.  I still had a corporate communication business, but my spiritual work was taking more and more of my time. I was becoming ‘very professional’ and ‘successful’ as a psychic, and my quiet love had become a business in its own right.  I was also feeling a little burned out, and my initial enthusiasm was waning:

Big Nicole: Hi Little Nicole, why are you so cranky right now?

Little Nicole: It’s just not fair! We never have fun anymore.  You only ever use your cards for the other people.  When do we get to play with them?  Why don’t we just play with the crystals like we used to, or go sit in the garden with all the fairies? You’re always too busy. I hate that. And Mr X is so mean and stupid to you at work.  It doesn’t even pay good money!!!

 

Oh.  I hadn’t expected that. I thought the problem was that my husband left his dirty dishes on the counter and could never get them into the dishwasher.  I thought it was my never-shrinking to-do list and the things I never got time to get to. I thought it was all these other things…

When you have finished writing with your Inner Child, go make yourself a cup of tea or get a nice cold drink (yes, take the time to have a five minute disconnect from the process you just worked with – you  need to be firmly back in your adult brain for this next bit ) and then sit down and read over what you wrote.

Your Inner Child has given you a magical list of resentment remedies.  Take a pen and underline the important parts of what they said to you.

Little Nicole: It’s just not fair! We never have fun anymore.  You only ever use your cards for the other people.  When do we get to play with them?Why don’t we just play with the crystals like we used to, or go sit in the garden with all the fairies? You’re always too busy. I hate that. And Mr X is so mean and stupid to you at work.  It doesn’t even pay good money!!!

Now you need to put your Inner Child’s guidance into action. Start by finding some small windows of time just for you. Following my own Inner Child’s advice I gave myself the gift of ten minutes (that’s nothing! – anyone can find ten minutes!!!) each morning to choose a daily card, reflect and write a few insights, and play with my crystal collection.  One day a week I took a half-hour walk out in nature. Even though the amount of time I was gifting back to myself was small it made a huge positive change in the sense of freedom and expansion in my everyday world.

Little Nicole was also right about the mean man – I had a corporate client who was hugely demanding, calling me at home on weekends and expecting me to work 20 hour days to complete projects to his insane deadlines.  I finished my contract with his organisation and walked away, knowing that I had enough clients to work at my spiritual ‘job’ full time.

And I asked my husband to please put his plates in the dishwasher, and after asking him, he did!

My resentment melted away because I was honouring my own needs and making space for them in my life.

We feel resentment when there is not enough time for our own dreams and interests.  Of course our resentment will find a place to focus our attention, so we end up thinking it’s our annoying boss, or our ungrateful husband, or our demanding children who are ruining our lives.  But in fact, it was us and our choices all along. And in the beginning we were happy with those choices.

By making time for ourselves  and our dreams, our lives become more fulfilling and sustainable – and we find that the unbearable becomes tolerable again.  We might even regain our zest for the things that are currently dragging us down.

Resentment always has simple antidotes.  It is about reclaiming a corner of your life for YOU!  Life is short, and precious.  Don’t taint it with resentment – it’s just not worth it.  There’s always a better way.  Today I’m holding the intention that you find clarity, and the courage to take action to make your life more aligned with your Soul.  ❤ Much love to you xx

dangerous-risk-quote

My Friday Morning at the Mullumbimby Farmers’ Markets

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2012-09-21 08.30.22

Excitement! I went on a short outing today to my favourite local Farmers’ Market at Mullumbimby. After the last few horrendous days of Lyme herxing I appreciated the fresh air and change of scenery…

My first stop was an excellent breakfast from The Nomadic Kitchen - Rice, banana and tomato sauce, and fried egg. I can’t begin to tell you what a rapturous combination this was, and it fuelled me up for the morning shop.

2013-03-22 07.42.28I then filled my bags with organic sourdough pumpkin bread, swiss brown mushrooms, sweet little muscatel grapes, kefir, and a few varieties of fresh garlic;

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as well as organic zucchini, lady finger bananas, eggs and bees wax tea-lights;

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some tasty kale (my current addiction – and my cows’ too, who ate all the kale I had growing at home!!!) and pak choi;

2013-03-22 10.03.16and a multitude of smiles and hugs.

Here’s the organic beeswax lantern (also available at the Markets) where I burn my little tea lights.  Makes the whole house smell of beeswax and honey and it glows translucent and shimmery when it’s lit!

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Nap time for me now – you can’t have too much excitement in one day.  Much love to you, and some healing hugs.  Bless ♥ xx

Living in the Lyme Light…

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“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”
~ Helen Keller (June, 1880 – June, 1968)

I’d love to be blogging something wonderful for you, and indeed that was my intention – I’ve got so much good stuff planned – but the past few days I’ve been struggling with some severe herxing reactions from my Lyme meds.

As the antibiotics kill off the Borrelia bacteria in my body, they release potent toxins which make me feel quite dreadful. Fevers, chest pain, rashes, joint pain, muscle spasms, sleep disturbance, nausea and all those nasty bits that go with it, wonky eyes and headaches.

Sorry, that’s not very exciting reading for you, and it’s certainly not thrilling at my end. (And I still have years of this therapy to go…)  But that’s the nature of chronic illness.  You have your good days and your bad, and you have to make the best of it.  No point in complaining – you just learn to hang in there through the low times until there’s an upwards swing again.

So until I’m feeling a little brighter here’s some distraction for us.

My little farmhouse is filled with flowers, courtesy of a big bucket of dahlias from the farmers up the road.  I hope they give you some of the same happiness they’ve given me.

Flowers hold a strong positive and healing vibration which emanates out and uplifts everything around them.  Which flowers, shapes and colours do you resonate with most?

2013-03-19 11.31.34From this glorious bucket of blooms I got:

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And for all of you dealing with chronic illness, or with the care of those with illness and disability, I’m sending all my love to you! Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

Hopefully me and my blog will soon be back to normal programming…

♥ Nicole xx

Remembering to take care of YOU!

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“Right in the difficult we must have our joys, our happiness, our dreams: there against the depth of this background, they stand out, there for the first time we see how beautiful they are.”
~ Rainer Maria Rilke

 

Recently I received a message from a lovely lady, asking about balance:

I thought of you as I was reflecting on my past week & trying to set goals for the months ahead and wondered how you ‘balance’ yourself, between giving yourself all the appropriate time you need & still helping others. I struggle with giving me some time to myself. Any tips or ideas would be gratefully appreciated.

It’s always a tricky thing – this balancing act, and truth be told, there is no magic formula to create a perfect life where you can neatly tick all of the boxes.  Sometimes you need to go all out for other people.  Most of us are good at that bit.  Where we suck is in going all out for ourselves.

But do you know what? It’s YOUR life – this ain’t no dress rehearsal, and your goals and dreams deserve as much air play as all of those people you are supporting to achieve theirs!

Keith Urban performing on stage - he owul dnever have achieved his dreams without practice, and being brave enough to take a chance on himself. Photo: Daniela Rodriguez

Keith Urban performing on stage – he would never have achieved his dreams without practice, and being brave enough to take a chance on himself. Photo: Daniela Rodriguez

Find some time each day that’s just for you.  Even ten minutes is a help. Not to be productive, but to replenish! It could be a morning run, a meditation, a first cup of coffee with the crossword from the back of the paper, a picnic lunch and time with a book in the park in your lunch hour, a long hot soak at day’s end. It’s worth it to get up that little earlier to find a quiet moment.  Those quiet moments are what fill us up and help us get through the day.

Goals – identify them.  Go ahead and allow yourself some dreaming time. If you need help these try these posts:

Writing as a Manifestation Tool

Writing Yourself into a Brighter Future

Gifts to give yourself this Christmas (Valid all year round!)

When you’ve written your goals and dreams, pick three. Now pick one of the three and break it into do-able chunks.  Schedule a little time each day, or a bigger chunk of time one or two days a week, or one insane period of a few days and work on your goal chunk by chunk until it is done.  Give up on perfection and embrace action!!!

Carve out some time in your Schedule. Only you know how much effort you’ll need to get something done. If all you want is a few moments to yourself then find a way to squeeze some time in by starting later or finishing your day a little earlier. Maybe you’ll need to give yourself Monday nights, or Sunday afternoons.  Maybe you’l need to get bold and block out whole swathes of time in your diary.  It all depends on how big your dream is and how much you want to make your dream a reality.

Sleep! People who are juggling caring for others, paying the bills and a myriad other responsibilities usually cut corners trying to squeeze more into their day. It’s a false economy that leads to burn out.  Give yourself the gift of sleep.  Nothing will get you back on your feet and making good decisions faster than a solid night’s sleep. Say yes to some pillow time, and put everything else on hold. If possible take a whole weekend and devote it to rest. Can’t rest at home?  Check into a hotel or take your tent and vanish for a few days of sleep and soul restoration. You and your sanity are worth it!

Set clear boundaries.  When your dance card is already full, saying yes to more offers of dancing is insane. Know your limits.  Let go of things, or take a night off and let someone else be responsible. If you’re drowning, put your hand up and ask for help. When you need to say no, say no.

Eat well.  When you’re struggling to find space for yourself in a busy life, believe me that is the WORST TIME to skip meals, live on crappy take-aways or cupboard food (yeah, you know what I mean: instant noodles, corn chips, sweet biscuits etc) When we are under stress we need to fuel ourselves up with plenty of healthy, nutritious food and lots of good clean water.

Image from www.wilstop.info

Image from www.wilstop.info

Take proper time out to nurture and maintain yourself.  Get your hair done, visit the dentist, see a movie, go to the library and stock up on your favourite movies and books, enjoy a massage or something else relaxing and meaningful for you.

Get your support crew together. We can’t do this journey alone.  My support crew includes my husband, the Sisters of the Pen – my writing cadre who are also the dearest of friends and secret keepers, my online community, a few close friends (and yes some of these people live on the other side of the world and we skype, text and call each other!), my acupuncturist, herbalist, dentist, doctors, my accountant, my Guides, and a host of books, motivational videos, courses and websites. I will also add in a few good coffee shops, cafes and farmers’ markets for good measure.

Carrots – you need some so work them out and then dangle them enticingly in front of you.  We call them rewards for a reason.  What is hard work without some well-earned pleasure at the end of the road?  Have a range of small treats and bigger ticket items.  Never put yourself into financial hardship to reward yourself – sometimes my best reward is a coffee at a favourite cafe, a walk on the beach, or a new book and a whole Sunday to myself.

hammock-on-the-beach

I’ve done burn out. And nursed that deep resentment from putting everyone else first and me last.  Trust me, it isn’t worth it. It isn’t useful. All it does is break your spirit and your body and leave you floundering and exhausted.

It’s your responsibility to take care of yourself and to honour your dreams.  If you don’t, who will?  Your life is yours to live, so be an active participant and make the days count.

Much love to you, Nicole ♥ xx

beach - wategos

Useful extra reading:

The Broken Robot Repair Shop

Simple Pleasures

Doing Nothing is Productive!

Simplicity is a choice

Loving myself lopsided…

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“The play is done – the curtain drops,

Slow falling to the prompter’s bell;

A moment yet the actor stops,

And looks around, to say farewell.

It is an irksome word and task;

And, when he’s laughed, and had his say,

He shows, as he removes his mask,

A face that’s anything but gay.”

~ William Makepeace Thackeray

I’m having trouble with my face.

It started quite a while ago, perhaps fifteen years, and was so trifling that only my mother noticed. “Oh,” she said as I was going off to have some professional photographs taken for a work assignment. “You know you have a funny eye? You look uneven when you smile.  Don’t put that side of your face toward the camera.”

Thanks for the heads-up, Mum.  As it was, when the pictures came back she remarked that I was squinty.

It’s become worse over time, and now I know what it is.  It’s not natural ugliness or an inherited facial flaw.  I have Bell’s Palsy, courtesy of Lyme Disease attacking my cranial nerve.

When I smile, only one side of my face responds.

2013-03-14 15.52.22I tell myself it makes me look whimsical. And the upside is that one side of my face is quite free of smiley eye-wrinkles and laugh lines. Which side of my face should I put to the camera now, Ma?  The smiley side? The smooth and ageless side?

Actually, I think it’s time to face the world head on.

I’ve decided that I’m beautiful just the way I am.  If I get droopier, at least I know I’m smiling on the inside. It’s almost like a botox experiment without the botox!

If I let fashion magazines and our society’s obsession with youth and perfection define me, I’d be out with the trash. But I have something much more powerful that that – I’m grateful for my body, and I love that it has hung in here with me. I’m comfortable in my skin and I hope that in my self-acceptance I can encourage you to begin to feel the same.

Just in case you are uncertain as to my smiley status, here’s another pic, modified with the help of my index finger to get that pesky under-performing cheek into position.

2013-03-14 15.53.45I have a message for you:

Beauty begins in the heart.  Beauty is kindness and compassion in action. It’s wearing your passion and living your values. It’s being authentic and REAL. Beauty is YOU just as you are, being yourself and accepting that Self with love.

Quit judging yourself. Don’t hide from the world, wanting to be something other than who you are. Know that you are perfect in your imperfection, that your body and your life will continue to evolve and change, and all of that will be reflected on your face, but more importantly in your heart.

In the end, when we remember someone, it’s the time we spent together and the way they made us feel that is important.  So dress up in your best smile, share your love, practice kindness and do all you can to embrace your life with joy. 

I love you! Bless ♥ xx

74377_400958539985347_2087676356_n

Vomiting in Public Places OR The Controversial ‘Vomit Post’

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“Girls blush, sometimes, because they are alive, half wishing they were dead to save the shame. The sudden blush devours them, neck and brow; They have drawn too near the fire of life, like gnats, and flare up bodily, wings and all. What then? Who’s sorry for a gnat or girl?”
~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

This was always going to be a post about kindness, but interestingly, when I mentioned on facebook yesterday that I might be blogging about vomit, it raised quite the controversy. Some people were all for it, whatever I wrote, and others were deadset against any mention of bodily functions.

Well, I was never one to step away from controversy.

So now it’s a post about acknowledging our humanity, as well as about kindness. I’ll get to the kindness part in a minute, after I’ve dealt with the humanity bit.

It’s a fact of life.  As humans we are all bound to experience episodes of illness, and at times that’s going to include vomiting. Some of you might be cringing right now.  After all, vomit is gross, vomiting is gross, and cleaning up afterwards is grosser (if there is such a word…) Vomit is not a topic to air in polite company.

So why am I doing it today? I’m doing it to honour all of the people who have to deal with the horror, shame, distress and inconvenience of having a bodily function over which they have no control.

I’m not talking that self-induced ‘I drank too much’ situation. I’m thinking about the people who ate the bad food, who caught the nasty stomach virus, whose kids got sick while they were out shopping, and those people so stressed or overwrought in their lives – whose anxiety so overwhelming – that their stomach became a battlefield.

I’m also talking about the silent army of people with medical conditions (including pregnancy) that cause nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Believe me, it’s a much bigger group than you may realise, because, of course, we don’t talk about these things in public.

And then there is the spiritual phenomena of ‘clearing’ where our body shifts energy and vibration (yes, think vomit, poo and flu!) through our body in ways that make us purge ourselves as we heal and ‘let go’ of what is no longer needed in our lives…

A girlfriend of mine has cystic fibrosis. She’s been through the wringer on numerous occasions on account of her illness, including a double lung transplant and a few rounds with cancer.  Vomit and poo are things she has had to deal with often. She’s even had to endure a colostomy bag for a time. Vomit and poo are part of the currency of her daily life. My friend is a friend who understands what I’m going through.

We have often laughed together about the horror of that sudden urgency – and our ability to locate and hold in our heads a map of every public restroom in the area. It’s like we share a secret language, and when we find another member of the ‘club’ it’s a relief to be able to talk openly about where we are at.

©clambert/stock.xchng

©clambert/stock.xchng

It’s not really funny though.  Humour is just the way we cope. Sometimes if you didn’t laugh you’d cry.  Sometimes, if you didn’t laugh you’d really wish you were dead instead.

Vomit and poo, chronic illness, misery and pain – they’re all best suffered silently, behind closed doors at home, so that we don’t offend the sensibilities of others.  Even if that imprisons us, and reduces our life to four walls.

That’s fine if you know your illness is a temporary thing. But what if this is something that becomes part of your new normal?  What then?  How do you adjust your life to the vagaries of a misbehaving body?

Which is why my post was originally going to be about kindness.

A few weeks ago, as I was ramping up my Lyme med levels and introducing some new ones, my husband and I ventured into Lismore. It was a rainy day, and we had a long list of chores. I had been fine all day.  No nausea.  Not a single side affect from my drugs. Of course that changed.

I began to feel hot, clammy and weak. My husband took me back to the car so I could rest, and I sat waiting for him as he completed the last of his shopping. The nausea became worse and worse, and then the awful realisation – I knew I was going to vomit. There was no restroom in sight. We were parked on the side of the road outside a strip of shops.

Supremely embarrassed and ashamed I opened the car door and was sick in the gutter.

I kidded myself I was discrete. I was grateful for the rain, and the lack of passers-by. But my relief was short lived.  I was still nauseous.  I needed to be sick again. I cracked open the door and said hello to the gutter.

This time, when I finally lifted my head, a woman from a nearby shop came over and offered me a glass of water, and a tissue. I was overwhelmed with her small act of kindness, and the comfort it afforded me.

Image from kleenex

Image from kleenex

A short time later, after I was sick a third time, she came back out and ushered me into the bathroom at the back of her shop. When I was finally okay and trusted that my stomach would behave she handed me more tissues and a packet of mints.

“It’s awful being sick when you’re out,” she said. “You poor thing. I really hope you feel better soon, love.”

No judgement.  Only kindness. Her compassion helped ease my shame and humiliation, and it made a difficult day more bearable.

Life is sometimes messy. None of us are immune from the spectrum of suffering.  While we uphold the idea that all of this human frailty is something to hide behind closed doors we disenfranchise many in our community who are already marginalised.  It’s not just bodily functions – it’s the child who lost their hair to chemotherapy, the woman whose skin is greasy from the cream she needs to control the disfiguring eczema, the man whose hands shake from Parkinsons so much that he spills his coffee as he drinks.

None of us likes to be unwell. None of us likes to be at the mercy of our bodies.  But sometimes that’s just how it is, and we need to be able to saddle up and keep riding, despite our afflictions. If we didn’t we’d miss out on life altogether, and what’s the point of that? A  life lived between bouts of illness, squeezed into the good days, or forcibly extracted from the bad days is sometimes your best shot at any life at all.

My post today isn’t just about vomit.  It’s a tip of my hat to everyone who is enduring or has endured short-term or chronic illness and found the courage to keep going. And for all those clearing heavy-duty muck out of their lives. It’s also an acknowledgement of the goodness and the decency of ordinary people who make the suffering of others easier to bear – strangers, carers, healers, family and friends.

Be kind to yourself today. Practice compassion for self and others. A little kindness goes a long way.  Bless ♥ xx

Fear of Crossing Roads

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Chicken Crossing the Road --- Image by © Corbis

Chicken Crossing the Road — Image by © Corbis

“No one has traveled the road of success without ever crossing the street of failures.” ~ Unknown

I have an embarrassing confession. I’m not good at crossing roads by myself. It’s a legacy of the neurological damage caused by chronic Lyme Disease and various co-infections. Like most things it’s worse when I’m tired or unwell. My reaction time slows down, and I can no longer judge safe margins.

It’s fine when I’m with my husband or a friend, but it can get me so daunted when I’m alone that I’ll go miles out of my way just to stay on the same side of the street or to use traffic lights and pedestrian crossings.

A few weeks ago a friend took me into Lismore while Ben was away. We went to the Farmers Markets and Fundies to stock up on supplies, and then headed down the main street to get some lunch.

As we walked along a slightly dishevelled and grim grey-haired woman came towards us, muttering under her breath.  Her body was rigid and she stared at the ground, barely swerving to pass us.

“Was she out of it or what?” said my friend after we walked by.

But she wasn’t.  I had felt her agitation as she came up the street, and I could see how hard the journey was for her. She was severely agoraphobic  and completely stressed about being outside. My heart went out to her as she bravely forced herself to keep walking, and I wondered how many other people had wrongly judged her.

Fast forward to yesterday. We were in Lismore, our closest large country town, and I needed could get a script filled. My husband walked me the two blocks from the car to the pharmacy, and I assured him he didn’t need to wait for me.  After all I only had to cross one country-town road to meet him back at the ute, and he had things to do too.

I started out feeling quite well but by the time my prescription was ready and my lunch-time post-tablet nausea kicked in, two blocks suddenly seemed a long way. Clutching my little bag of meds I began the journey back to our vehicle.  As I walked, slowly, with a hazy head, blurry vision and extreme nausea, I heard a muttered monotone voice behind me.

“Spotlight, Spotlight, Spotlight, Spotlight, Chandlers, Chandlers, Chandlers…”

It was the woman I’d seen a few weeks ago.  She was chanting the name of each shop as she walked past them, sticking as close to the store fronts as she could.  Her brow was beaded with perspiration although it was a cool day.  She looked as bad as I felt.

Molesworth Street, Lismore - Image from Familypedia

Molesworth Street, Lismore – Image from Familypedia

She stayed behind me until we got to the corner of the block. The muttering stopped, and I looked around.  The woman was still there, pressed against the edge of the last building. I could feel her turbulent emotions.  She was overwhelmed by how wide the street was – for her it was like having to traverse a vast ocean.

“Are you crossing the street?” I said.

She took a moment to realise I was speaking to her, so intense was her state of anxiety, but she nodded.

I extended my hand towards her.  ”Can you help me?” I asked. “I’m not well and I don’t feel quite safe to cross the road on my own.”

She was beside me in an instant, and she clutched my hand tightly in hers, gripping my elbow with her other hand. Together we waited for the traffic to pass and when there was not a car in sight we walked across.

“Are you going far?” she whispered when we were safely on the other side.

“That white ute right at the end of the block,” I replied.

“I can take you nearly the whole way,” she said.

She didn’t let go of me until she was at her destination.

“You take care,” she said. “Sorry I can’t walk you the whole way. I hope you feel better soon.”

I thanked her for helping me.

“Oh, it’s no problem.” She finally smiled, quite transforming her face. Suddenly she was around my age – careworn but pretty. “There’s not much worse than having to do things alone when you’re sick.”

Sometimes we’re not okay, but still we cope the best we can. Sure we manage, but it really helps to have a friendly hand to hold. Today I wish a friend for you, or if you’re feeling up to it, that you can be that friend for someone else.  It might help you too.

Bless  ♥ xx

'Splatter Heart' by Roark Gourley

‘Splatter Heart’ by Roark Gourley

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