#Lymetime – The Big Day Looms…

Image by KicsterAsh

Image by KicsterAsh

“I still think that everyone’s life, no matter how unremarkable, has a singular tragic encounter after which everything that really matters will happen. That moment is the catalyst – the first step in the equation. But knowing the first step will get you nowhere – it’s what comes after that determines the result.” 
Robyn SchneiderThe Beginning of Everything

 

It’s a little over a year since I began my treatment for Lyme and various co-infections, and this morning my husband is taking me back to my doctor to get the results of a huge barrage of tests to see what progress I have actually made since beginning my drug and herb regime.

There will be a lot to talk about. In this past month I have had brain scans, heart scans, bone scans, and innumerable blood tests. Among other things…

I admit to being nervous. I want for this appointment to go well. I want to hold in my hands some tangible proof that all of this suffering has been worth it in the name of progress.

Truth be told, despite the horrendous nature of the drugs, and the herxing, and the misery, I really do believe that I have turned the corner. My brain is working again. I can feel a strength in me that wasn’t there even a month ago. But will this feeling translate into some kind of scientific evidence?

Yes, I am the psychic who needs proof. I don’t want to trust ‘just a feeling’. I want that feeling validated by objective data!

This morning I’ve meditated, sipped tea, hurried down a little food so that I could take my meds, and now I’m dressed and ready to go just as the sun is coming up. It’s a long drive, and today I will be the first appointment in my doctor’s day. Oh, the butterflies in my stomach. Oh, the apprehension.

Fingers crossed…

I promise I’ll let you know how it all goes. :)

Zucchini Bread Recipe – Gluten free, dairy free, sugar free

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“When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.” ~ Gwyneth Paltrow

 

I should have titled this post The Great Zucchini Loaf Challenge! I have a friend who is always telling me that they positively hate zucchini. This friend last ate zucchini thirty years ago at boarding school. They tell me often that it is a waste of a vegetable, that it tastes like soggy watery nothing and that no-one in their right mind should enjoy it. Boarding school ruined many culinary experiences for my very food-unadventurous friend.

However, I have witnessed this same friend gorging on stuffed deep-fried zucchini flowers with no idea what they were eating! They maintain that they positively hate beetroot but once gobbled down almost an entire chocolate beetroot cake I’d made. When I explained that beetroot was the main ingredient they just shrugged their shoulders and smiled as they stuffed the last crumbs into their mouth. I knew they’d eat zucchini in a cake, so I decided to bake some zucchini bread to prove my point.

But I’m back on my Lyme drugs, and following a fairly strict diet. It seemed so unfair that I would make a delicious cake that I then couldn’t eat! So I have modified the ingredients so that this cake is healthy, delicious and suitable for people like me who are on restricted diets. Let me assure you that the modifications in no way limited the yumminess.

Some people don’t like the taste of gluten-free flours, but the spices and flavourings I’ve added totally mask them. This cake is moist, flavoursome, full of nutritional value and so scrummy that people who cringe at the words ‘gluten-free’, let alone ‘sugar-free’, shall chomp it all up in happy oblivion.

As predicted, my zucchini-loathing friend adored this recipe and even asked if I could make it for them again once they knew what was in it!

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Ingredients:

1 cup of plain gluten-free flour mix, 1/2 cup of almond meal, 3 teaspoons of baking powder (I use Wards, which is gluten-free),1 cup of grated raw zucchini, 1/2 cup of finely chopped walnuts, finely grated zest of one lime and 1 tablespoon of lime juice (a lemon can be substituted), 3 heaped tablespoons of Natvia or your favourite sugar substitute (if you are happy to use sugar use 2/3 to 1 cup of raw sugar – to your taste), 2 large eggs (vegans – use your favourite egg substitute or 1/2 cup of mashed banana), 1/3 cup of oil of your choice (olive, coconut, rice-bran, vegetable etc), 1/4 cup of coconut milk (or soy, almond etc), pinch of good quality salt (I like pink Himalayan), 1 heaped teaspoon of cinnamon, 1 heaped teaspoon of turmeric powder, 1 level teaspoon of ginger powder, 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract or paste.

Notes: If you need this recipe to be tree-nut free just use more gluten-free flour instead of the almond meal, and omit the walnuts. A nice variation would be to replace the walnuts with finely chopped dried apricots.

The lime tang is quite prominent in this recipe. If you don’t like a citrus flavour swap the lime or lemon out and use an extra tablespoon of coconut (or your favourite) milk.

You can also make this recipe with conventional wheat flour if you prefer.

Method:

Preheat your oven to moderate (160 degree celcius fan-forced or 180 degree oven – 350 degrees fahrenheit).

Line a loaf tin (23cm x 12cm – 9 inch x 5 inch) with baking paper.

Place the flour, baking powder, almond meal, walnuts and spices in a large bowl and mix well to combine.

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Put the grated zucchini in some paper kitchen towel and gently press the liquid out of it, then place it into another large bowl. Add the natvia or sugar, the two eggs, the oil, vanilla, lime zest and juice, and the coconut (or other) milk. Stir until well combined.

Now add the wet mix to the dry mixture and stir well to combine. The mixture will look quite wet. Don’t panic.

The picture below shows my wet mix BEFORE I added turmeric, which was a last-minute flash of inspiration.

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Pour the mixture into your prepared tin. (See what a gorgeous colour the turmeric gives the batter!)

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Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until the cake springs back lightly when pressed in the centre, and a skewer inserted in cake comes out clean.

Cool in tin for five minutes, and then turn out onto a wire rack to cool fully.

Serve with a mug of your favourite beverage. The bread will keep for about a week (if it lasts that long) and toasts well after it is a day old.

You could get fancy and ice or glaze the zucchini bread, or serve it buttered (or use your usual non-dairy spread). It is also lovely served slightly warm with a dollop of yogurt or coconut cream. Enjoy! :)

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A Boat Called Insomnia

Tattered Sails by Joe Bonita

Tattered Sails by Joe Bonita

“But Pooh couldn’t sleep. The more he tried to sleep the more he couldn’t. He tried counting Sheep, which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep, and, as that was no good, he tried counting Heffalumps. And that was worse. Because every Heffalump that he counted was making straight for a pot of Pooh’s honey, and eating it all. For some minutes he lay there miserably, but when the five hundred and eighty-seventh Heffalump was licking its jaws, and saying to itself, “Very good honey this, I don’t know when I’ve tasted better,” Pooh could bear it no longer.” 
― A.A. MilneWinnie-the-Pooh

 

Insomnia is a boat that travels a vast ocean.

The motor of this boat has broken.

The sails are torn to tatters by some long-ago storm that everyone only vaguely remembers.

The boat itself is enormous and seemingly deserted, but once you have walked her decks a while you realise that some of your friends are stuck aboard too, although you may never meet in these rusty corridors.

Insomnia is a boat that makes you rage inside from futility.

But when the rage abates you find that there is something beautiful about the haunted emptiness, the quiet solitude, and the stopping of all movement which leaves you stranded in the company of your good self.

Insomnia is a place for soul poetry and cups of tea, a journey to acceptance of whatever is, and, eventually, at some point beyond this horizon, shipwreck on the shore of dreams.

Catching My Breath

Image from ScienceLakes

Image from ScienceLakes

“Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.” 
~ Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

 

The past few days have been a bumpier ride than I had expected. I’m off my Lyme drugs while I get all my various tests done, and I’d hoped it would be a picnic.

I was wrong.

Some of the symptoms I thought I’d done with came back with a vengeance. The severe pain I endured last week abated, only to be replaced with a different kind of pain.

Meditation. That’s what’s gotten me through. Again. Thank goodness for my daily practice, for that life-saving place of calm and peace.

I know this will all ease eventually, if I just stick with the treatment protocol. In fact, I already feel better than I did a few days ago.

Problem is, I don’t ever get a proper break from Lyme. I can’t take the weekend off from being in my body. This is the poor broken body I’ve been living in for years. I love it, and I’m grateful for it, but sometimes it all gets too much and I wish I could run away and be someone else for a few days, or me, but in another better-working body.

That’s the truth of it.

But we all feel like that sometimes, don’t we?

One thing I know for sure – meditation helps.

Here are a few guided meditations I recorded earlier. Perhaps you might find them helpful for you right now. Follow the post links to access the recordings:

  1. ♥ Guided Meditation for healing Inflammation and Dis-ease
  2. Bee Breath Meditation for reducing stress and opening and healing the Throat Chakra
  3. Tibetan Singing Bowl Healing Meditation
  4. Guided Meditation for Emotional Support

Know that you’re in my thoughts, prayers and daily meditations,

I’m wishing you peace in your heart today.

♥ Nicole xx

And if you want to know more about Lyme, this terrific documentary, Under Our Skin, is a great place to start. It’s movie length, but well worth it. That’s my life, people. That’s my life…

Measuring Progress

“Progress means getting nearer to the place you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer.
If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man.” 
~ C.S. Lewis

 

I spent the morning with my Lyme doctor yesterday. It’s been over a year since I embarked on a strict regime of diet, supplements, herbs and industrial quantities of various drug combinations. On top of my pre-existing meditation and alternate therapy practices that have kept me alive and functioning thus far, defying conventional prognosis.

Yesterday was all about evaluating my progress this past year, and determining our next course of action.

I went to my appointment armed with a list of symptoms: those which had improved, those which had worsened, new symptoms and those which have resolved and gone away. My list was only slightly shorter than War and Peace.

Image from Claire in London

Image from Claire in London

So, how did I go?

I can’t actually tell you yet.

I have a fistful of blood work tests that need to be done. I have to pee in a jar and poop in a cup.

I have to make appointments for a brain MRI, ultrasounds and scans of various organs and body parts. There is every kind of test for my heart.

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And in the meantime I shall be drug and herb free. Two glorious weeks without this punishing regime of horrors. I feel like a kid at the beginning of summer vacation, with all those beautiful clear days stretched out ahead of me.

Once my results are in, we’ll formulate a new treatment plan, my doctors, alternate therapy practitioners and I.

I am looking forward to comparing where I am now with the results of previous tests and scans. I am hoping for good progress.

In the past thirty years, while I have dealt with declining health, often the only way to evaluate my progress or response to various healing agents was how I felt. I know lots of people who use that technique for evaluating their progress with Lyme treatments. And I think that is valid to some extent. If you feel better, you must BE better, right? And if you feel worse…

Truth is, I have felt WORSE, sometimes much worse, over the course of the previous year, as I have knuckled down and followed this healing path.

And I have had many times in my life where I have experienced a lessening of symptoms, or an upward swing for a while. When you live with chronic illness any kind of better day or improvement in energy and function, even if that improvement is marginal, seems like a really BIG thing.

But until last year, few of my improvements have ever lasted. And scientific evaluation of my condition over time, using evidence based medicine, prove that prior to 2013 I continued to deteriorate. Although, in my defense, I have stubbornly refused to die, even if that was my expected trajectory! :)

So, I welcome this next barrage of tests. I welcome being able to use the best that science and modern medicine can give me. I want to be able to critically evaluate what’s working, what isn’t, and working out from there where we go next. Yes, I am the psychic who embraces quantifiable results and proof of change!

I am hoping for measurable improvement. I’ll keep you posted as to how I go.

Image from Chronicles of Illusions

Image from Chronicles of Illusions

PS :) Thank you to everyone who has contacted me with advice and suggestions.   Some of your ideas and treatments have been happily embraced by myself and my very open-minded doctors. An especially big thank you to all the lymies who have given me tips on coping with herxing or who have suggested alternate therapies, herbs, essential oils and so on to compliment my current drug regime.

Thank you to my friends and readers. Your healing energies, prayers, letters and words of encouragement have meant the world to me, and have kept me going through the darkest of times.

 

And for all if the people who have contacted me with suggestions about changing my obviously-flawed thinking which caused my disease (Dude, get with the 21st century – they are actually called pathogens and you can see them under a microscope!) , repenting of sins, God’s cursing of psychics, past life regressions as THE definitive treatment, multi-level marketing product miracle cures accompanied by pages of written testimonials about people feeling better, and stories of people who have cured their Lyme disease with a crystal, drinking their own urine (I went there already and it didn’t work!) thirty-day water fast (tried that too), psychic surgery,  amazing technological device or  a simple solution of bi-carb soda or other common household product, thank you. I’m always opening to expanding my knowledge and trying new things. However… If you can claim a cause or cure, I would appreciate your evidence and long-term results to back this up.

A Short Walk

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“Many people nowadays live in a series of interiors…disconnected from each other. On foot everything stays connected, for while walking one occupies the spaces between those interiors in the same way one occupies those interiors. One lives in the whole world rather than in interiors built up against it.”
~ Rebecca Solnit, Wanderlust: A History of Walking

 

I’ve been cooped up for days, and yesterday afternoon I just needed to be outside. I’m not up for walking far right now. One of the meds I’m on for my lyme treatment has a potential side effect of stiffening ligaments and tendons, giving them increased risk of tear or rupture. Getting into bed last week I did my knee. As I lifted it off the floor I heard it go pop, pop, pop like a zipper unzipping, and the next thing I knew my knee hurt A LOT, and then of course it swelled. Off to the awesome physiotherapist (Thanks Simone!) next morning and then my knee had to be iced, elevated, strapped and rested.

On top of everything else…

But isn’t that always the way? :)

Yesterday I took a short stroll (hobble actually) around my front yard. Just to breathe the air, fresh from rain. Just to feel the sun on my skin. To put my face against the bark of a tree.

I stood outside and drew some breaths deep into my body. It made me feel better.

Maybe a short stroll might help you too.

Here’s my walk, in pictures…

Lilies in the cattle trough.

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Orchids flourishing in a crevice of the fig tree.

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Gazing up through the branches of the fig tree, my face pressed to its cool bark.

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Blue sky peeking through the clouds.

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The Hoop Pine in our front yard. Just beyond the fence is the eucalypt glade where Mr Grunty, the big male koala hangs out.

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Late afternoon view down to our front gate.2014-03-31 17.26.03Thanks for coming with me on my little stroll.

Much love to you, Nicole xx

 

The Power of Story

Image by Kathy Fornal

Image by Kathy Fornal

“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.” 
~ Philip Pullman

 

The past few days have been rough for me. It’s a lyme thing. Partly because of the pathogens that have invaded and taken up residence in my body and partly because of the ongoing treatment to evict them.

I’ve been in excruciating pain. Pain that sets my face into hard lines during the day. Pain that has me whimpering, crying and howling in agony each night. The pain has been slowly escalating over the past few weeks, and now, at its crescendo, my bedroom is no longer a refuge. Nights no longer bracket my days with healing sleep. Instead I descend the stairs into a fiery hell.

I keep everyone awake; my husband, the dogs… even when they sleep in the guest room. My muffled sobs and screams are difficult for them to hear. They find it hard to settle, and they want to be near me, as much as I keep sending them away.

The night before last Ben stole back to our room and held my hand as I struggled. Nothing was helping.

Finally, he began to tell me a story. A story about a little girl who wakes up in a big old house in the middle of the night. She is wide awake and the rest of the house is fast asleep.

She takes her small suitcase and goes to the kitchen, where she packs a few snacks.

Image from Pickcute

Image from Pickcute

“What are the snacks?” I ask.

“Two small square sandwiches, four biscuits and a pot of jam.”

In my head I see each of these things. I wonder about the size of the sandwiches. I wonder about many things. It prompts another question. “What kind of jam?”

“Strawberry.” He strokes my hair tenderly and goes on with the story.

The little girl opens the big front door and heads off into the moonlight.

Soon she comes to a pink forest. All the trees are pink. Their trunks are like glass, lit from within so that they create a soft pink glow. Their leaves are every other shade of pink.

As Ben is creating this imaginary world I am still convulsing and writhing in pain. Tears are streaming down my face. But my mind is no longer so distressed because I am now the little girl wandering alone through this glorious pink forest while the rest of the world sleeps.

Some time in the early morning, I fall asleep for a few merciful hours. And when I wake up my head is still filled with pictures of this night-time escapade.

Over a cup of afternoon tea I ask Ben something that I have been pondering all day. “What is the ground in the pink forest made out of? Is it grass? Or dirt? Or snow? Or something else?”

“I’m sorry,” he says, smiling. “I can only tell this story at night. You’ll have to ask me then.”

Finally, amid all of this current misery, something to look forward to. My beautiful husband is helping me reclaim my nights instead of fearing them.

Image from HDWallIMG

Image from HDWallIMG

 

Saying No to Conditional Love

live-life-quotes-love-quotes-short-inspirational-quotes-inspiring-quotes-inspirational-quotes-inspiring-quotes

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.” 
~ C. JoyBell C.

*Warning: Swear alert. Swears ahead.

I did something quite out of character for me yesterday.

There is someone who has been an important relationship in my life for a long time. You know the kind of relationships you just expect to endure, and to stay strong and connected. This person knew me, loved me, and was proud of me back when I was well and riding the crest of a wave of successes in my personal and business life.

The life I like to think of as my ‘former’ life. The one pre-illness. The one pre-psychic awakening.

The life I live now embarrasses the hell out of this other person. It has made things uncomfortable and awkward between us, without any kind of touchstone where we can easily connect, no matter how hard I try.

But in truth, we’ve been grown apart for a very long time, and so much of my championing and nursing along of the relationship comes from a sense of duty as much as from a place of love.

We speak intermittently. It’s been months now. I do my best to keep them in the loop of my life, so they were aware that I have been unwell. That I’m still unwell. When they called my home yesterday, Ben answered the phone because I was outside with my head in the toilet, violently ill from my lyme meds. He let the person know that I’d be a few minutes. He was politely honest about my situation.

Still, in keeping with the way this relationship has headed, the person did not ask after Ben, or me, or the farm. They talked instead of their latest achievements, and the achievements of others in their family.

When I was finally able to take the phone, this person did not ask after my health, not even in the polite way we all do where we don’t really need to hear the answer but we do want to observe social graces.

They just wanted to know what was happening with my career. Was I published yet? Why was everything taking so long? What was the hold up?

All I could do was stumble around saying that these last two years hadn’t been my finest (for those of you who don’t know, I was dying from unresponsive congestive heart failure, and then received a diagnosis of lyme disease where the treatment is saving my life but in the process making me endure the seven circles of hell) as this person insistently reminded me of who I used to be, and what I used to do. The life I had no choice but to walk away from.

For a moment I felt like one of life’s greatest losers. The shame was overwhelming. I felt so small.

Image from Midlife Rebel

Image from Midlife Rebel

I’ve been raised to be polite. But something happened yesterday. I got angry. And in that space of anger I also felt a need to put a stop to this.

“Fuck off!” I said gruffly. And then I hung up.

I shocked even myself.

But now, with some time and space between me and the big ‘hang up’, I’m feeling better about things. Cleaner.

Truth is, I still love them.

And I see the insecurity in THEM. The need for me, as part of their life, to be someone who others will judge well, and so judge this person well too.

But allowing them to heap shit upon me is not an act of self-love. Perhaps you remember that back at the end of 2013 I ran a retreat where all of us made a sacred vow - to love and treat ourselves well in 2014, to put ourselves and our needs front and centre in our lives rather than always playing second fiddle to everyone else.

I’m living that vow, and it is radically changing my world. In the best of ways.

It really is okay to say NO to conditional love. I hope that in sharing this experience, you can embrace that truth too.

Much love to you, Nicole xx

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Lessons on Waiting and Being Delayed

Image from ASCRS Eyeworld

Image from ASCRS Eyeworld

“How did it get so late so soon?” 
~ Dr. Seuss

“If we can just let go and trust that things will work out they way they’re supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.”
~ Goldie Hawn

I spent a lot of time waiting in doctors’ rooms yesterday. In fact, over the last thirty years I’ve spent an enormous amount of time waiting. Waiting for doctors, waiting for tests, waiting for results, waiting for second opinions.

In the beginning waiting used to frustrate me. Doctors always seem to run late. There’s inevitably a big queue at the pathologist’s early in the morning when you’re on fasting bloods. Simple procedures often take far more time than you’d expected. Have you noticed that?

Back when I lived a very measured and time-poor life, scheduled down to the last-minute, this kind of waiting nearly drove me crazy. Why couldn’t these people be more efficient?

I’ll tell you why.

People and bodies are complex by design, and things don’t always run to plan.

Yesterday I was up early to be one of the first through the door for blood tests at 6am…

My first doctors meeting is at 9am and I have a string of appointments after that, all scheduled a few hours apart. I plan to get quite a lot done during the ‘in-between’ appointments time.

After breakfast I arrive at the surgery early to fill in paperwork. And then I wait. So early in the day I’m not expecting much of a delay. It’s a busy practice with several doctors, and the waiting room is already full.

One by one each person’s name is called. New people arrive. Others come and go. 9am rolls by, then 9.15 then 9.30. I still haven’t been called. After a while a woman sits near me, and she and I stay sitting as more names are called. I’ve been waiting over an hour now, and the woman beside me half that time. She begins looking pointedly at her watch, sighing and making it apparent that she’s not happy. I keep reading my book.

After an hour the woman loses it. “What’s the delay?” she shouts angrily. “My appointment was an hour ago.” She lets it rip at the receptionist. Still yelling abuse she storms out of the practice as an elderly couple emerge from a consulting room, red-eyed and obviously upset. They look lost as they stand at the front desk.

A minute later my doctor calls my name.

He’s reserved today, not his usual self. “Sorry about the delay,” he says. He seems quite sad.

I can’t help myself. “Are you okay?” I ask, placing my hand on his arm.

My lovely doctor is taken aback. Tears prick his eyes. “Yes,” he says in the softest of voices. “Yes, I’m fine.” With great professionalism he brings the focus back to me, the weight of whatever happened earlier sitting heavy in the air between us.

Things go well for me, and I’m out the door in under fifteen minutes.

Luckily I’d made my medical appointments with plenty of time in between them. I can deal with the delay with a little juggling. I cancel some plans. And my day works out just fine. Better than fine in fact. For some reason we end up getting ‘rock-star’ car parks right out front everywhere else we go. The day slides by so smoothly. Nothing at all is a hassle. It’s like being late early in the day somehow saves us all this time later on.

Last night as I sat in meditation I thought of that elderly couple, and said a little prayer for them, and for my doctors, nurses and all those who work in the health care industries. It’s a big job, at times a very hard and thankless job. People and bodies are complex by design. Things don’t always go to plan.

I spent a lot of time waiting yesterday because someone needed more of my doctor’s time. And whenever you need more time it’s not a good thing. Positive news is always fast. The other kind usually takes longer.

How could I mind someone needing more time? How can a doctor or other medical professional possibly determine in advance who might need that extra attention?

I have been on the other side of this too. A few years ago a young technician was performing an ultrasound on my abdomen. She took forever, and went from being chatty to very, very quiet. Eventually she left me there, and after a fraught ten minutes brought back a colleague. They both huddled over the screen and then the senior technician repeated my procedure. Neither would tell me what was going on. My fifteen minute procedure took ninety minutes, interspersed with phone calls back to my doctor. I was the person emerging into a waiting room of cranky patients being held up because of me.

I have been given my share of bad news. I have cried in car parks or sat stunned and silent afterwards in coffee shops near medical specialists’ rooms. I have been the reason for everyone else being delayed and inconvenienced.

Yesterday I was thankful that it was not me needing more time. And I was also grateful that others could have the time they needed.

It might not be a doctor’s surgery.You might end up waiting in the office of a counsellor, a tax accountant, a veterinarian, a dentist, a skin cancer specialist. The thing is, you’ll be waiting because someone needed more time.

If that was you, if you needed more time, you’d want the person helping you to care enough to be very present for you. To do all that they could to explain and work on your problems. You’d want to feel supported. You wouldn’t want to be just a number being churned through the mill.

So, if you find yourself waiting, know that it might be inconvenient, but it’s not the worst of things. It shows that whomever you’re waiting for cares about doing their job well. They care about looking after their clients or patients. And that means they’ll extend that same care to you.

Go well in the world today. I’m thinking of you and sending love.

Nicole xx

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Morning Rewards

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“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”  ~ Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

It’s still early. But already I’ve meditated. I’ve taken my morning ‘before food’ drugs. I’ve fasted and I’ve given vial upon vial of my blood to be tested for positive signs of health progress.

It’s time for a little reward. A well made latte.

I shall sit here on this golden morning and sip my coffee, savouring the aroma and flavour.

Then a day for me of doctors, specialists and various things of a medical nature.

But that’s later.

All that matters right now is that the morning is beautiful, and my coffee? Sublime!

I hope that in the day ahead you too find a few peaceful moments for yourself, a little time to nurture, nourish and just BE.

Much love to you, Nicole :) xoxo

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Image from Heidi Lamberton

Image from Heidi Lamberton