Tag Archives: kindness

Hey Sister, You Okay?

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Image from holmsteen.dk

I was looking forward to Saturday. In the last few weeks I’ve supported a friend through the end stages of terminal cancer, holding her hand til she passed, ridden the roller coaster of supporting an addict in recovery, and juggled my daily work and writing. Saturday was this wonderful window of calm in front of me like a soft pillow to lay my weary head.

Nothing went to plan for me. My do-nothing day of leisure and self-replenishment which I had so looked forward to became about helping others through various crises and melt-downs.  It’s okay.  The Universe obviously cleared my calender so I’d be available for the people who needed me most.  But it was an emotionally draining day, capping a difficult few weeks, and it left me wrung out.

I was driving through the inner city late yesterday when the traffic suddenly slowed.  Cars tooted their horns.  People yelled and gestured. I though there must have been a dog on the road.

The traffic slowed to a stop.  I couldn’t see what was happening, so I said a quiet prayer, asking that the animal be okay and be guided back to safety.  Finally the cars began moving again, swerving around something in the middle of the road.  Some stopped to hurl abuse as they drove past. I craned my neck, trying to see what was obstructing our way.

Imagine my horror and disbelief when I saw an elderly aboriginal woman in the middle of the road.  She was just sitting there, a shopping bag beside her on the ground, one shoe off, grazed knees.  I pulled my car over to the side as soon as I could find a park and raced back to check on her.

“Hey, Sister,” she croaked at me as I got closer. “Can you see me? All the rest of your mob think I’m invisible.”

“Hey, Sister,” I called to her.  ”I see you. You okay?”

She swung her head towards me, squinting in the sun, but said nothing.  I waited for a car to pass and crossed over to her.

“Hi, I’m Nicole.  Are you okay?  Do you need some help?”

She nodded her head yes.

I helped her up, and over to the footpath. She was unsteady on her feet and I wondered if I should call an ambulance.

“Sorry, love. I’m real sorry.”  She leaned heavily on my arm.  ”I just live along here. Too late eating lunch and my strength’s gone. I came over all dizzy. I’ve got sugar,” she said weakly.

“You’re diabetic?” I asked as we walked up some steps to a small flat.

“Yes.”

I got her inside, and she asked me to make her a sandwich, while she ate some jellybeans.  Then her neighbour popped in and said she would make her friend a cup of tea and stay with her until she came ‘right’ again.

Before I left I asked if there was anyone I could call, or if she wanted me to take her to the doctor.

The old aboriginal lady patted my hand. “I’m alright now I’m home. You know, you’re a true nice girl,” she said.  ”Brought up proper. Your mother and grandmother, you do them proud. Here….”  Reaching over to a box she pulled something out. “This is for you.”

She opened a small drawstring bag and put the contents in my hand, one by one.

A bag full of treasures

“This shell, it’s from up my country.”

She placed it on my palm, and tiny grains of sand stuck to my fingers.  I wanted to hold it to my nose and smell the sea.  Suddenly I was homesick for my little farm at Byron Bay with a physical ache.

“Got this stone from the river.  See how nice and smooth it is.” It was a piece of clear quartz, tumbled milky, and still luminous. I felt such comfort, and thought of Angels.

This one,” she held up a twisted grey rock, “I got this one off the beach. It reminds me of a baby wrapped up tight in his blanket, trying to talk to you. Feels real nice in your hand.”

“This one – it’s coral.  Looks like an alien head with them two eyes.” She chuckled. “Friendly fella for watching over you.”

“And this last one, he’s a fossil crab, real old from the old times.  Good for protecting your soft heart.”

I left with brimming eyes, embarrassed by her kindness.

And I never asked her name.

Today I’m holding these precious treasures in my hands and feeling humbled and awed. I wonder if she knew how much these things would mean to me, or what they symbolise after so hard a day, so hard a week.

Hey Sister, you okay?

I feel like it was HER watching out for ME.

Rainbow Dreaming. Rainbow Tribe. We are One. ♥

Making Friends with Fairies

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I remember when I first started to channel. This was twenty years ago, and I had read the first chapter of a book called Opening To Channel by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer. Of course I was so eager to begin I never did read the rest of the book…

My sister dutifully guided me through a process, I made connection, and thus began a wonderful relationship with Rollo, one of my beautiful Guides.  Over the next few years I trance channelled many amazing BEings. Friends who had heard what I did would come (often bringing their friends!) and sit in our living room on nights when we would do a meditation and then I would  connect and channel for an hour or two.

What was most exciting for me, all this time ago, was that some of the BEings I channelled I had never heard of, and my sister would race off to the Library or New Age bookshop the next day and come home saying “I found them – they’re real!”. In those early days, when I felt so awkward, the positive validation that I wasn’t making it all up was very welcome. Thanks Sissy!!!

When this was all very new, I needed a person to ask me questions once I was in trance. I was aware of what was said through me, but it was like sitting in the back of a big auditorium, far away from the speaker.

So you can imagine my horror, embarrassment and surprise the day I heard my voice become high and squeaky, and I began to talk like a five year old girl high on red cordial and too much sugar.

“Hello. Who are you?” my sister asked, totally unfased.

“Oh hiya hi hi,” said this crazy little voice. “I’m Sokli.”

“And where you you come from, Sokli?” asked another friend in the circle.

“Oh, I’m a fairy,” she said. “I come from just over there (she named a piece of tangled trees and shrubbery not far away.)  Fairies are very geographically specific, you know.”

I felt myself cringe.  I was mortified.  How would anyone take me seriously?

But do you know what?

Sokli held everyone’s attention as she dished out earthy remedies, made everyone laugh and smile, and helped with everything from pet questions to general human health.

She was adored.

I have now worked with Sokli for twenty years, and she has become a firm friend. She has campaigned tirelessly for people to remember and honour fairies, and for us to love and honour nature and the earth. She’s bossy, funny, rude, cheeky, loyal, and totally passionate.

You can see her in the photo of the old teak tree at my front door at the farm at the top of this post. She promised me she would let herself ‘show’ so others could see her too.

I see her quite differently. When she’s moving she looks like a bright ball of energy whizzing around (she has lots of energy – that whole fuelled by red cordial kind of thing!). But when she is just hanging around, talking and sharing, she looks like the picture in the top left corner of the Art Journal I worked on yesterday (minus the wand…)

I’m co-writing a book with her right now called Things Fairies Know by Sokli A Real Fairy and her friend Nicole.  The title was her idea.

 

I look forward to sharing it We look forward to sharing it with you when we’re done.

And now a message from Sokli, just for you:

Hi, hi Hi!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello. I’m very happy to meet you and I want you to know that Fairies are real and we are kind of like Angels except Angels belong to Humans and the Skies and Fairies belong to Animals and Nature and the Earth. I know Angels are very popular right now but please don’t forget about Fairies. We can still all be friends.  Maybe today you can smell some pretty flowers, or watch a bird in the sky or sit on nice grass. We’ll be all around you, and if you’re kind and patient some Fairies might come over and say hi. Thanks for listening to a Fairy. We love youuuuuuuuu. Love love love.  Bye for now. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Wild Dogs and a little Philosophy

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My morning meditation was interrupted by a sound no farmer ever wants to hear; the barking of wild dogs. It was still dark, and I could hear them close on the ridge behind me – quite a large pack in the paddock where my cows and their young calves are grazing.

Not long after, the dogs began a blood-curdling baying and howling. I gave up any idea of meditating, and sent love and protection to my animals instead. We have had wild dog problems in our shire for a few years now.  The dogs have maimed or killed much of our local wildlife, many farm animals and pets, and have also attacked humans.

When the dawn crept up, and the baying stopped I glimpsed seven dogs running along my front paddock in the rain, one limping, bleeding, lagging behind. These aren’t dingoes, Australia’s native wild dog, these are domestic dogs that have been dumped or perhaps run away from home.

One still had a tatty blue collar on. As much as my gut clenched, I felt enormous compassion for these animals as I looked at my own two dogs, curled up on the rug at my feet, patiently waiting for their breakfast. I wondered if my neighbours would be out with their guns this morning, and if any of the dogs would be shot, as so many of the wild dogs before them have.

As I made my morning pot of tea I pondered the plight of these wild dogs, and it led me back to thinking about people.

These dogs have fallen through the cracks. Dumped because their owners changed their mind, or couldn’t afford to feed them, or were neglectful and uncaring, irresponsible, or just didn’t understand what being a pet owner actually entails.

Dogs need a safe place to live, with food and care.  They need to feel part of a pack.  They need rules and structure. They will get by on the most rudimentary of surroundings and food as long as they have that love, guidance and bond.

The wild dogs in our shire have no one to care for them and no safe place to go.  In fact some of them are now so savage that it would be impossible to rehabilitate them.  They are traumatised and aggressive. Here are Labradors and Ridgebacks and Spaniels and Terriers, here are cross-bred dogs of all sizes and descriptions, and they are out in the wild, banding together to make their own pack, and it’s so much Lord of the Flies…

They are running on survival instincts, there is no-one to give them safety or teach them manners and social rules and conventions.  They will never rise to what they could be. They steal to eat, they destroy out of boredom and anger, they turn on each other and us. And for that they are condemned.

It’s the same for people.

We all need to feel safe.  We need shelter and kindness and somewhere we can belong. We all need to learn the basics of looking after ourselves, getting along with others, having respect for the world around us, and learning our society’s fundamental values and rules. With security, guidance and love, even if our surroundings are rudimentary, and our meals basic, we can rise to find our best. We can grow and evolve in positive ways.

Not everyone gets the childhood they need to help them thrive.  But humans, like dogs, are resourceful and resilient.  We find ways to survive.

And thankfully there are good people in the world who step in to be the mentor, the teacher, the guide, the helping hand, the provider of safety for those who fall through the cracks.

But there are many, many wild dogs, and many, many lost children. There may be some among you who’ve grown to adulthood and look like they cope, look like they fit in a little.  And some will be openly wild dogs, snarling at the hands that come near.

Offer them all kindness, offer them all compassion, and if you are called to it, perhaps you may find a way to do more.

I hear the crack of a rifle echoing round our hills.  I hug my own dogs, and shed a quiet tear.

How You Can Change the World

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I’m here with some good news.  You are powerful, and you can make a difference in our world!

Have you noticed that much of the world media is focussed primarily upon the negative, and it builds a vibration of fear and uncertainty around our futures?  Many of us are reeling under the constant barrage of bad news, and the latest market crash, tragedy or monstrous act of violence.

It is easy to feel that we are insignificant in the scheme of things.  But this is not the case.  Many people have changed the world through their thoughts, and actions.  And you too can play a part in lifting the vibration of our world to a place of Harmony and Peace.

At the core of our distress is always lack of Love.  When we live from our Hearts, violence against each other, and senseless acts of greed and inhumanity within our communities and environment dissolve.  Why? These are not products of the Heart, but of the Mind.  They arise from our sense of disconnectedness from ourselves, our families, our communities, our environment and God/Source Energy.

So what can you do?

Firstly, focus on all that IS good in your life, and in the world, no matter how small that detail may be.  Do not give your attention to the bad news around you, and the unwanted things in your life.  Focus purely on what is going well, and what makes you feel good.

When you pray or meditate, bring that beautiful Divine Love and Light into your body and heart.  Fill yourself up, and allow the Love and Light to continue to flow through you and to the people around you.  Picture people and situations, and send healing energy and Love to them.  Surround them in white Light and wish them only Love and Good, no matter who they are or what their actions might have been.  See people and situations only as you wish them to be – full of harmony, wellness, love, creativity, joy and peace.  Don’t dwell on negativity – always choose Light.  Choose forgiveness of yourself and others

Within your immediate circle, practice acts of love, kindness and compassion.  Move outside your own needs, and begin to understand and reach out to meet the needs of the people around you.  Strengthen relationships within your family, friends and community.

Create a network of support for yourselves and others. Speak well of people. Treat others in the way you would wish to be treated, and always, always send and practice Love and Kindness.  Where people hurt and upset you, send them more Love and Kindness.  And when you are hurt and upset, connect with Love and Light to heal yourself.

Be true to yourself.  Practice self nurture, and allow yourself the time and freedom to enjoy your life and your relationships.  Use the gifts that you were blessed with to do the things you are passionate about, and that you most enjoy.  Doing this puts good energy back into the world, and allows you to grow and flourish at a Soul level, making ever increasing amounts of positive energy available to you and to those around you.  You will have a positive impact on your immediate environment, friends and family just through your personal energy and state of mind!

Reach out to others whenever you can.  We are social creatures, and it is when our connections with others begin to weaken and fall apart that we are most capable of harming ourselves and others.  Practice a spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness, but most of all, BE Love.  Remember old people and children.  Help them to feel loved and wanted.  Find a way to give back to your community or a charity of your choice.  Lead by example.

Accept healing and nurture from nature.  Spend time in natural environments, and with plants and pets.  They are all here to give us Love.  Introduce nature into your home and work environments and try to spend time in the fresh air and sunshine.  Yes, it does make a difference!

Slow down!  Take time to breath, to feel, to rest and relax.  Reduce your stress, and the stress you impose on others.  Eat well and look after your health.  Support products, services, organizations and individuals with integrity and who treat the world and its inhabitants with Love and Respect.

Finally, strive for Love and excellence in all you do, and in all you are.  When you raise your own vibration, it has a positive cascade effect on all around you.  So, don’t buy into fear – choose Love.  Like the saying goes, “Be the change you want to see in the World.”

Give yourself a Free Pass

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Congratulations!  I’ve just gifted you a Free Pass.  You might want to cut this out and store it in your wallet.  You may also want to pass this one on to someone else who would benefit from it.

This is a magical ticket.  It allows you to decline a usual activity or responsibility, so that you may replace it with one of your choosing.  Used responsibly, this magical ticket has been found to have restorative properties for Body, Mind and Spirit.

I’m using my own ticket today. Although technically a day off for me, I had planned a mass of admin work; catching up on emails, phone calls and filing.  But it’s rainy and cool, and way too early.  So I’m going back to bed for a nice big sleep.  When I wake up I’ll decide how to spend the rest of my day.  So far I’m leaning towards yum cha, a movie and a good book.

PS – this ticket renews itself, so tuck it away after you’ve used it.  Just knowing it’s in your wallet is often enough to get you through a tough patch. And when you really need it, it will be there for you.  Enjoy! ♥ xx

How to Nurture your sense of Self-Love

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When we feel good about ourselves, when we can view ourselves with kindness and treat ourselves well, this becomes the basis by which we attract relationships of a similar vibration into our lives.  Love begets love.  But what do you do when you don’t love yourself very much?  How can you change your relationship to yourself so that you DO feel good about who you are?

Here are some very practical steps towards nurturing more love for yourself.  Not all of them will be easy, but all of them are worthwhile:

  1. Set boundaries – treat yourself with respect, and make sure others do the same.  This is not always about stopping other people from exploiting you or treating you badly, sometimes it is about putting boundaries in place so that you don’t over-give, or neglect your own needs in order to please or placate others.
  2. If you’re heart’s not in it, look for something you can care about. It doesn’t matter if this is a job, a college course, a hobby or a relationship.  Life is too short to put energy into things that don’t fufill you or make you happy. Get your priorities clear. (Read about how I did that here – I’m not recommending my method, but I do recommend having some time to think about what really matters to you.)
  3. Get help with addictions and behaviours that don’t serve you. Sometimes we get into patterns, behaviours or addictions that are not only damaging to our physical and emotional well-being, but that put us further into self-loathing, and destroy those last shreds of confidence and esteem we once had.  There are many great organisations and counsellors out there, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Weight Watchers, and a raft of amazing people dedicated to helping you overcome obstacles. Or maybe you need a book-keeper, or someone to clean your house.  If it never gets done and you resent the doing of it, look to delegation. It’s not a dirty word.  Make 2012 the year where you put up your hand and ask for help.  
  4. Make time for yourself.  You’ll end up a simmering mass of resentment if you make time for everyone else’s needs and dreams and don’t leave any time for your own!  There is no surer recipe for emotional burnout or relationship breakdown.
  5. Make time for fun.  Life is meant to be enjoyed, and laughter is like oxygen – we need it to survive. Do things you enjoy, and that make you happy.  Spend time in the company of people who uplift you, support you and make you feel good.
  6. Spend time in spiritual reflection and connection. Prayer, meditation, journalling and time in our own company all help us to know ourselves better.
  7. Nourish your physical body with good food, sleep and exercise.
  8. Use positive self-talk – don’t berate yourself, or call yourself names like “I’m so stupid” or “I’m hopeless”. Speak positively, and don’t allow others to talk down to you either!  Be less critical and more supportive of yourself, especially when mistakes are made. Be your own cheer squad.
  9. Follow through on your promises and commitments – especially those you make to yourself. When you live with honesty and integrity, it is so much easier to feel good about yourself.  
  10. Listen to your intuition and honour it.  If it says rest, rest! If it says eat salad instead of cheesecake, do that. Intuition is like a muscle, the more we use it, the stronger it gets. How many times have you had a gut feeling about something or someone but you didn’t honour it, and it turned out badly.  Trust yourself!
  11. Practice kindness – to yourself and others.  Be well mannered, considerate and live from your heart.  Sometimes this might actually need to be tough love, but let your actions always come from love.
  12. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. There is courage within you, and it colours everything you do in the brightest of lights, when you choose to value yourself.
  13. Forgive yourself. We are often the most critical and judgemental of our own thoughts and actions. Today, let it be okay. Give yourself permission to move on. Find a way to open your heart to loving yourself a little more. ♥
  14. Look for the beauty around you, and within you.  The more you seek it, the more you will find it in your life.
  15. Practice gratitude.  Even if it’s for a roof over your head, or that you made it through another day. Appreciate the small things. It helps build a path to greater miracles.
The following video has some great ideas for moving into a space of greater self love…

Musings on Melancholy – my own little ‘Lost in Translation’ Moment

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Today was a strange day for me, and a beautiful one, haunted by a slow melancholy.  This time a year ago I learned of the deaths of neighbours of ours in the Lockyer Valley, during the terrible floods that swept from Toowoomba down through Brisbane. Until that day we had been hopeful they might be found alive. I felt so helpless that morning, and even a year later, the pang of that loss, of the lives, livestock and livelihoods of people we loved, and of the lives still broken and resolution-less, tastes like metal in my mouth. This morning I awoke alone in my sorrow.

Today none of my plans seemed to come together. Friends ran late, or bailed at the last minute, leaving my day disjointed. I’d stayed in Brisbane because of an important commitment that required me to be here overnight. Because of it I’d cancelled plans, declined invitations, and re-jigged a myriad of things to create availability. At the last possible moment that commitment too was cancelled, and suddenly my schedule unhinged. It was too late to make the party back at home near my farm, too late to catch up to friends for dinner.

I felt flat, miserable and lonely. The last thing I wanted to do was go out. The house was empty, with not even a cracker in the cupboard. I decided to venture to a suburban shopping centre, hoping that the supermarket might still be open so I could buy a few scratchings for a meal.

Night was falling, and the vast carpark was almost empty. Foreign.  And it reminded me suddenly of Sophia Coppola’s beautiful movie – Lost in Translation. Perhaps you too have seen it, or have travelled, and know what I mean.  That feeling of being displaced, out of rhythm with the world around you, surrounded by strangeness and unfamiliarity.

Many a time I have arrived on a foreign shore, wasted by jetlag, and addled by time zone differentials.  It creates a disconnect; but at the same time as some things get fuzzy, other things become oddly focussed, and you see yourself and the world in a new light.

In a space of disconnect, in a town I used to know, I walk into the shopping centre just as they are dropping down the security doors for the supermarket.  I turn, and head back towards the carpark, empty-handed.  The air is thick and muggy outside the air-conditioned building. I am despondent, and weary to my bones. Tonight I do not feel like I belong to my life.

I pass a small Indian restaurant, empty except for a group of staff who are sitting at a table in the corner, watching the cricket test match on a big tv screen.  Australia versus India.  I slow down and peer through the window, hoping I might catch a glimpse of the score.

In a moment they are ushering me in, pulling me up a seat, plying me with iced water and poppadoms.  Inexplicably I am soon drinking the best chai tea of my life, and eating delicate milk cake and peda, watching the cricket with these kind people.  We don’t really talk. We just sit and watch this giant television.  My cup is filled again and again.  More food comes.  Occasionally someone gets up to serve a customer, but the restaurant remains quiet.

At stumps, India are 4/88. It has not been a good day for the Indian cricket team.  My colleagues are circumspect, but cheerful.  There is always tomorrow they say. They put some sweets in a box for me, shake my hand, wish me well.  I still do not know their names, and they do not know mine. They will not accept any money. Australia is a good country they say. They are happy to have shared their table with me.  I can come and watch the cricket with them any time.

My aching soul is soothed with the kindness of strangers, and the bizarre camaraderie  afforded by this interest in sport.

At every turn there is something affirming about life, and the ability of the human heart to connect us, one to another. Life breathes in love, breathes out pain, breathes in friendship, breathes out loss, breathes in hope, breathes out peace.  Peace in your hearts, Dear Ones. Love connects us all. ♥

Vale, dear friends. Remembered in our hearts.  RIP.

If you click the link above it takes you to a beautiful video, that perfectly captures love, hope, goodbyes and sweet melancholy.

Capsicum Jam Recipe, and musings on left-overs and over-supply

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Christmas feasts and left-overs are pretty much synonymous, don’t you agree? Gluts are also a regular part of growing your own produce. I was given a big bag of juicy organic yellow and green capsicums (bell peppers for you non-Aussies) by a neighbour this morning. That’s the way it is here.  When you have an abundance of something in your vegetable patch you share a little with the critters, keep some for yourself, and give the rest away. That also works well with Christmas leftovers. Leftovers are wonderful opportunity to feed friends, or to invent tasty meals for little effort.

I already had some red capsicums, so I’ve decided to whip up some capsicum jam to go with all of our Christmas leftovers. It’s terrific with roast vegies, ham, turkey and other meats and cheeses.  Also makes for awesome sandwiches. Naturally, one jar shall go back to the friend who gave me the raw materials!  This jam is easy to make. You’ll need capsicums (obviously!), a few cloves of garlic, a bay leaf, olive oil, sugar and balsamic vinegar (A good shake of Peri Peri or chilli flakes is optional, but advised).  Here’s how you do it:

Firstly, peel your capsicum.  If they are very fresh you can use a sharp potato/vegetable peeler and the skins will come off easily.  If the capsicums are a little soft place them over an open flame, or cut into halves or quarters and place under a grill until the skin blackens.  Cool, and then slip off the skins with your fingers. Make sure that the capsicums are seeded.  I’m using about 12, but you could make a small batch with just two or three. Slice your capsicums into ribbons. Chop your garlic finely (I used four fat cloves), or put through a press. Put a heavy bottomed pan onto a low heat and add a good slurp of olive oil. Add the garlic and cook until it softens and becomes fragrant without colouring.                                   Dump the capsicum in and toss with the oil, adding a little more if necessary. Raise the heat a little and soften the capsicum (about 7 to 10 minutes).  Add a tablespoon of sugar (if a small batch or increase  proportionately if making a larger batch) to help caramelise the capsicum (another 5 to 10 minutes).  Use a tablespoon of vinegar to deglaze the pan and give a sweet and sour tang to your jam. Keep your sugar and vinegar in the 50:50 ration and you’ll be fine.

There are three stages you can cook this to.

Tapas stage looks like this and is great for using on crusty bread (heaven with cheese).  The capsicum will still taste fresh and bright and have a little crunch to it.  Add your chilli or peri peri now, and add salt and pepper to taste.  Cool without delay.

Pasta stage looks like this.  You’ll need another 5 to ten minutes cooking time. Keep stirring every so often so it doesn’t catch.  The flavours will now be mellow and sweet.  Stir through cooked pasta, add a handful of rocket and some parmesan shavings and you’re good to go. Also good with leftover roast vegetables added into your pasta.  Meat lovers may want to add ham, bacon, pancetta or similar.

Jam stage.  The capsicum is now velvety goodness in a pan, with a rich, oily complexity.  Adjust your seasonings to taste.  Cool and bottle.  This will keep about 3 weeks and goes well with meats and cheeses.  I also like it with avocado on toast. :)

There is something magical about sharing – it fills you with a sense of abundance, and it lights up the world with kindness. Got some left-overs in your fridge?  Maybe it’s time to create a feast for friends and neighbours, or a care-pack for that lonely person you know. ♥