Telling yourself a better story

Image from Flickr – slightlyeverything

I really haven’t had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I’d rather tell a story about somebody else.
Kurt Cobain

We all tell ourselves a story.  We often tell that story to others too. Our story is the way we see ourselves in the world, our view of what’s happened to us in the past, and who we are because of it.

Sometimes our story is sad, sometimes, it’s funny, sometimes it’s downright terrible.  And we trot that story out time after time; for ourselves, our families, our friends…

But what if that story doesn’t serve you? What if that story compounds low self-esteem, or failure, or loneliness? What if that story is a constant reminder to us of a painful time in our lives?

The Law of Attraction states that whatever we think about most and talk about most is what we draw to us.  That or things of a similar vibration.

You need to ask yourself if you want to keep living that story.

Because maybe it’s time to write a new one…

Tell yourself a different story – image from freedigitalimages.com

Journal Exercise:

Today, write yourself a new story.  Make it up, like any good writer would, but let it have a few bones that are real.

Tell yourself a story that is empowering and positive.

Look for examples from your life that illustrate a different truth for you – of times when things have worked out, when people have been kind or helpful, when you’ve known success, when miracles have happened.

Or, if you are feeling brave, or creative, just write a new and entirely ficticious account of your past, present or future.

What is the life you would like to live? Write about that AS IF IT IS ALREADY HAPPENING!!!

Here are a few prompts to get you started.  Choose whatever most appeals and then start writing:

  • My life is unfolding in the most exciting of ways…
  • The place I’m living now is so well suited to me.  It is…
  • You’ll never guess how it happened.  It all worked out perfectly in the end. One day…
  • So we’ve been together for…
  • And one day a letter came in the mail and it said…
  • The doctors couldn’t believe it…
  • My life is so blessed because…
  • It’s my dream life.  I have to pinch myself to remind me that it’s real. Now my world looks like…
  • I answered the phone and you’ll never believe who was on the other end…
  • OMG! This is exactly what happened, and it’s FABULOUS…
  • It feels so good to be able to…
  • My career is going from strength to strength.  Already I have…
  • I’ve planned the most amazing holiday.  It starts with…
  • Such wonderful relationships in my life.  Let me tell you a bit about them…
  • Now there’s no more money worries because…
  • My proudest moment is…
  • I finally achieved…

Words really do have a magical power in your life.  So choose them wisely – when you write them, speak them, think them… Expect magic and know that you are worthy and deserving of good in your life. NOW is your time to invite the future to look different to the past.  Believe! ♥

Image from favim.com

Defining Your Priorities in Life

This beautiful image by Kittisak

Life is short. Life is precious. And in our lives we need to be able to fit into a limited amount of time the things that will satisfy us, grow us, and make us happy.

So many people that I know have this terrible sense of never having enough time, and never getting around to the things that are important to them. Those dreams and desires keep getting relegated to ‘tomorrow’, and as we all know, tomorrow never comes.

If you’re in a place of overwhelm and exhaustion, you might find this post helpful to get you started: Simplicity is a Choice  You can also read about how I got my own personal priority act together here: The gift of impermanence OR live like you’re dying

So how do we work out what’s important to us? Journalling is one of the best ways I have found for clearing out the clutter in our minds and tidying our thoughts onto a page.  Today’s post will help you start that process of clarifying what matters to you, and how you want your life to look.

Journal Activity:

Image by nuttakit

It’s important to re-orient yourself back to your own internal priorities for this exercise, rather than the pressures of your life the way it is right now.

If possible, take yourself somewhere away from work or home – maybe a library, a coffee shop or a park, even the back yard or a veranda could work. Having surroundings that are not associated with chores, duties or your to-do-list will be very helpful for this process. Allocate at least ten minutes for this journal task, but note that if you haven’t been giving yourself much time lately you may need considerably longer.  The investment in yourself will be worth it!

Start by writing this passage into your journal or diary. Feel free to use coloured inks, stickers, doodles or anything else that makes your heart sing.

My life is precious to me, and I recognise that it’s a gift.  Before I was even born I was dreaming of the things I could do, experience and discover in this lifetime.

Inside me is a strong wisdom about what matters to me. My heart, my soul, my gut - they all have messages for my mind to hear and understand - and I’m really ready to listen.

More than that, I’m ready for change.  I‘m ready to act upon my priorities.  My life matters to me.  My time is now! 

Image by graur codrin

Choose any of the following journal starters and then begin writing:

  • This idea in the back of my mind is
  • I feel unbelievably pressured because
  • All I really want to be doing is
  • If I had more time I would
  • The thing that lights me up inside is
  • I know I need to
  • If I won a million dollars, suddenly I would be able to
  • My biggest regret is that
  • If I could find a way to support myself I would
  • Ever since I was little I have dreamed of
  • The secret hope inside me is
  • I get a huge surge of relief every time I think about
  • My whole world would change if
  • It makes me outrageously happy to think about
  • People have always said that I
  • When I look back on my life, I’d like to be able to say that
  • The things on my personal bucket list are

We never know what life has in store for us. You’ll never please everyone, but the one person we often forget to please is ourselves. You are worthy, valuable and you came to this life to live your dreams. Maybe it’s time to honour that in some small way. Live without regrets! Live each day not so that you can cross it off and breathe a sigh of weary relief, but so that it counts for you, so that it matters to you and to your dreams. ♥

PS – Nickelback says it so well… ↓

Manifesting Your Best Self – A Journal Adventure

Image from journeysforthesoul.ca

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. – Marianne Williamson

If thoughts, words and intent are the building blocks from which reality is shaped, can there be any better manifestation adventure for you than to create your best self?

Why settle for boring, or mediocre? Why limit yourself? Why be unhappy, toiling away in drudgery while your dreams sit in a box on a dusty shelf? This life is no dress rehearsal – there is no second chance to get this right. Commit today to making your life the best that it can be.

Journal Activity:

Begin by writing the following passage into your own journal.

Pour your heart into it. Let the Universe hear your plea, and feel your desire. Decorate your words, use coloured inks or stickers to help convey the dreams and emotions within you.

Then choose one or more of the journal starters below and begin writing. You can use the same journal starter more than once if it really resonates for you.

Dear Universe, 

Even before I was born I was excited about this life.  I was so busy choosing my talents and gifts, packing my bags, getting ready for the adventure. I couldn’t wait to get here! Everything began to line up for me, and suddenly, here I was, in this body, ready to begin…

There is so much I want to do with my life, I have so much to share, and I can feel that energy building up inside me again.  I can feel things lining up to support me in living my best life, and sharing my gifts with the world.

I’m a little nervous, and a little scared, and what I need now more than anything is some help to shine. But I know your job is to help, and my job is to accept that help, so we’re going to get along just fine. I’m ready – let’s do it!!!

Choose from any of these journal starters and begin manifesting your new life:

  • If I could have any wish right now it would be
  • The three things that would make the biggest difference in my life are
  • What would be most helpful to me is
  • The thing that excites me most about the future is
  • If I wasn’t so scared of failure I would truly embrace
  • If I had time, money and freedom, I would
  • The things that make me special are
  • The things I would most love to share with the world are
  • The legacy I’d like to leave behind is
  • The one thing I would change about myself is
  • The one thing in me that I’d like to polish and polish until it shines brightly is
  • If it were possible I would
  • I know it sounds outrageous but
  • The seven things I would like to see more of in my life are
  • If I could win any prize right now it would be
  • My ideal life would look like this -
  • My ideal body, style and habitat are
  • My version of a deluxe life is
  • The most magical thing I could draw to me right now is
  • The thing that is beginning to change my life is
  • It won’t be long until
  • I wasn’t ready before, but now I find I’m eager to

Soundtrack to My Life:

Music has the power to transform our emotions, and when we transform our emotions we transform our lives. This week you’re going to make a mixtape. If you’ve never made one, there’s a very simple how-to guide here on this video – they intend the playlist for someone else, but the special person who will be the recipient of this great music you’re choosing is YOU:

Choose songs that mean something to you, that evoke a mood, that stir emotions within you and make you feel positive, excited, inspired and uplifted. Listen to your mixtape often! The more you feel inspired and uplifted, the more you will begin to grow, evolve, become.  We need your unique gifts, talents and perspective in our world. Your heart always knows what it wants, and if you listen, it will always guide you well.

Shine! Be your best self – there is no-one better qualified.

Now make a wish – and know that the Universe will do its part to make it come true…

Much love to you ♥ xx

People will be who they are…

People will be who they are.

Sounds like a bit of a crazy statement doesn’t it, but if you ignore this truth it is often you who becomes crazy…

I have a friend who was in great emotional pain over her relationship with her mother. Each time they meet she came away upset, or disappointed. Her mother was always so critical. This had been going on for over fifty years. My friend kept hoping that just once her mother would be supportive, or approving.

Image from chocolate-fish.net

I have a friend who was in great emotional pain over their relationship with their partner. They went through a pattern of honeymoon and then abuse, honeymoon and then abuse, honeymoon and then abuse. My friend kept hoping their partner would change.

image from dhcs.act.gov.au

People can change.  And they can also, at times, act out of character, but…  mostly people will be who they are.

Each person is driven by their own beliefs, values, education, experiences. They will have their own pattern of behaviours and responses. Once you begin to understand this, life becomes easier. Relationships become easier. Why? Because when you accept what is, you can make choices based around truth rather than desire.

People will be who they are.  They will not be the way we hope they will be. They will not be the way we fear they will be. They will not be the way we want them to be, or expect them to be, or need them to be.

People will be who they are. This, of course, goes for us too, and this is the important bit.  We cannot change others but we can change ourselves.  We can change our responses, our expectations, our level of tolerance. We can also choose to walk away.

Knowing that someone behaves or thinks in a certain way, but wanting that to be different, sets us up for disappointment every time. Or perhaps worse.

If you are honest with yourself about the true nature of your relationship with another, you begin to create new freedoms around those old expectations.

My friend with the critical mother? She has accepted that her mother will never change.  She still spends time with her, and since she no longer waits for the approval or support, her relationship with her mother has actually improved.

My friend in the abusive relationship? Had some counselling, ended the relationship, and is now with a loving partner who treats them with kindness and respect.

image from phil-islands.com

Needing someone to be different, expecting them to change, also prevents us from loving and accepting the other person as they are, which is all anyone ever wants.

(How many times have you wished someone would love and accept you as you are?)

People will be who they are.  If this works for you, embrace it.  If it doesn’t change your expectations, or move on.

 

♥ Life is too short, and too precious, not to give yourself every chance at happiness. ♥

image from shutterstock.com

Writing your Dream Home into Existence

A man’s home is his castle ~ Proverb

Everyone has a dream home in their mind – somewhere that will fulfill their needs, bring peace to their soul, and speak to the person they are or would like to be. I’m lucky enough to have found mine, but then again, luck didn’t create it – intention manifested it for me.

Shortly after we moved to our farm I was unpacking a box of my old journals and opened one at random. To my delight here was a description of my farm, almost perfect in its accuracy and detail, written by me six years before we purchased our new home.  It was titled My Farm, The Magical House on the Hill which is exactly how this little cottage feels to me. I remember how I felt the day I wrote that piece. I was relaxed, happy, hopeful and as I wrote, more and more excited. And I felt a great contentment when I was done.

Writing has great power, and today we are going to use that power of clear thought and intent to write a recipe for you that can help your dream home to manifest in your life.

Journal Activity

Find somewhere to write where you won’t be disturbed for at least ten minutes. Take a minute or two and breathe deeply, bringing yourself to a place of calm. Begin to allow yourself to feel a little excited.

When you are ready start writing. Write about your dream home and describe it in as much detail as you can.  It doesn’t matter how much it will cost or where it will be, and you don’t have to work out HOW you are going to end up living there.  All you have to do is describe it.

Remember to include the things that are important to you, and don’t write it to impress yourself or others, write it from your heart.  You are making a recipe that the Universe will follow in order to bring this dream home to you. Make sure to include the following points:

  • What is the climate like?
  • Are there any special features inside the house?
  • Is there a space where you can carry out an activity that means a lot to you?
  • Does it need to have certain conditions such as stairs, no stairs, an easy driveway, plenty of water, room for a garden, no garden at all, access to services? (one of my things was that my property would be private and feel like it was a million miles from anywhere but with good coffee and great neighbours just up the road!)
  • Are there any special features outside the house?
  • What’s the neighbourhood like?
  • What makes your heart sing about this place?
  • How does it meet the needs of your family, animals, or the family and pets you plan to have in the future?
  • Who’s living there with you?
  • What are you doing?
  • What’s your employment or financial situation?

This short video will get you in the right space to help your ideas to flow. Somewhere, right now, your dream home exists, and it’s waiting for you, ready to support your dream life. Believe!

Dream Board/ Vision Board
A Dream Board or Vision Board is a visual representation for your dream home.  If you don’t even know what your dream home might be, go get a whole pile of magazines.  (You can often get them from newsagents for free with the covers ripped off if you let them know you are using them for an art project.)
Without thinking about it too much, flick through the magazines and pull out the pictures that appeal to you. If words ‘jump out’ at you and make you feel good, cut those out too!
I had a client once who thought she wanted to live on a farm, but she’d never been able to manifest one.  When she did this activity every picture she pulled out was of a waterfront apartment surrounded by boats and restaurants and high end shops.  Guess where she lives now?
When you’re done cut your pictures out and glue them to a large sheet of cardboard, or peg them to a corkboard and place it somewhere where you can see it.
If you haven’t written your journal entry yet, use your dream board to inspire you!
Here’s a great short video to help guide you if you’ve never made a Dream Board before:
Happy manifesting!  ♥

Everyone has something special to share with the world!

What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. ~ Eleanor Powell

I have never met anyone who wasn’t unique in some way, who didn’t have a special gift to share with the world. The problem is that most people don’t acknowledge their gifts because they are always the things that come naturally and easily, even if we get better at them with practice.

We live in a society that crazily seems to prize two things above all others: hard work to get somewhere, or money for nothing.

I’m not talking about either of those.

I’m talking about the essence of your soul, the thing you ARE. And we catch glimpses of it from the moment of our birth.

I’ll give you some examples, and maybe you’ll start to understand what I mean…

My Grandmother had a gift for listening. When you spoke with her you knew she truly heard you, and acknowledged what you were saying and feeling. She was trustworthy and wise, and she helped many people through this gift. She never had a job or a career, and yet she touched the lives of many.

I have a client who has never been educated.  He can’t read or write, can barely sign his name. He has lived in the Outback his entire life. But he can break any horse.  He can turn any wild brumby into a horse that can be ridden and worked with, and he does it gently, without breaking their spirit.  No-one ever showed him.  He just seems to know how to communicate with them and win their trust.

I have a friend who is a nurse. I’ve know her for many years. She’s a talented nurse, and studied hard to get there, but her real gift? She has a knack for comforting people.

Ask anyone who’s known her and they’ll tell you the same.  She’s been like that since she was small. Animals, people, upset children, she just seems to know what to say, how to move, and her touch is filled with love and kindness.  Her voice is soothing and reassuring, or cheerful when it needs to be.

It’s not just her ability to do her job, it’s the essence she brings to that job that is so important.

Don’t ever think that you have nothing worthy to offer the world.  You came here with a gift inside you, perhaps even more than one.  That might not be a gift that will bring you great fame and riches, or public acclaim.

But for someone in your life, your gift will mean the world.

Not sure what your gift is?  Look back through your life.  What came easily?  What was a natural expression of who you are?  What have you done or been where you know you uplifted, or connected, or helped in some way?

You may have discounted this thing as ordinary or unimportant.  But I promise you, it’s not. And all you ever have to be is yourself!

You are precious, and valuable, and important to the richness and texture of life.

Kermit says it better than anyone…

 


Journal for Clarity and Connection 1 – All about my Body

Week 1:  All About My Body

This week we are focussing on our physical bodies and all that entails for us.  Our plan is to understand and connect with our physical selves, a part of us often ignored as we rush through our busy lives.

Journaling Exercise:

Buy a journal if you don’t already have one..  Commit to writing a few pages every morning, and spend this time reflecting on what you like and dislike about your health and body.  Use any of these starters to help you:

  • When I tune into my body I feel…
  • The parts of me I have neglected are…
  • If my internal organs, and my body could talk, they would tell me that…
  • The sorts of movement my body enjoys are…
  • When I look at myself in the mirror I…
  • I would like to look at myself in the mirror and see…
  • When I eat…
  • It feels amazing to…
  • I look really great in…
  • I would feel better if…
  • There are a few things I need in order to look and feel my best.  They are…
  • People who could help me are…
  • A time in my life when I felt really good about my physical self was…
  • My body would love it if…
  • The things I am grateful to my physical body for are…

Read back over your journal in the evening. Use a highlighter to mark things that are important to you so you can form a clear idea of what changes you would like to make in your life.  Continue this exercise for the whole week, focusing on health, nutrition, clothing style, hair, makeup, sleep, exercise and well being.  Create lists and tasks to help you move your body to a place of wellness and feel-good.  Transfer your lists to a day planner or master list book, and begin to action them.

Activity:

Go for a walk each day, or do some form of exercise that refreshes you.  Clean out your fridge and kitchen cupboards, get rid of all the junk, and shop for healthy food.  Eat fresh fruit and vegetables every day, drink plenty of clean, fresh water, cut down on caffeine, alcohol, cigarettes, processed food and sugar.

 

Sort out your wardrobe and bathroom cabinets.  Throw out old, broken, never used and low self-worth stuff.  Work out what you need to do to start looking and feeling better and add those things to your list!

Nurture your body with massages, baths, oils and lotions. Treat it to good eating, and gentle (or more rigorous if you’re up to it) movement. Tell your body often that you are grateful for all it does for you. Thank it and love it and appreciate it. Listen to it, and it will tell you what it needs!

A heart-centred week!

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”

- Dalai Lama

This week I’m going to focus on all things to do with the Heart Chakra. We’re going to have a heart-centred week. Starting tomorrow there will be activities, meditations and journalling techniques to help you to explore, heal and connect with your heart centre, and to attract more love into your life.  I’ll also be doing work for you in my own daily healing meditations

In this space of greater connection with our hearts we have increased self love and self worth.  We can attract loving relationships with others, and we move to a more positive emotional space.

Working with the energies of the heart also increases our intuition and psychic connection.

At the end of this week I shall also be giving away a beautiful Heart Chakra healing necklace, that uses crystals chosen specifically for their ability to work with the heart, including bloodstone, nephrite, jasper, green aventurine, prehnite, hematite and pearls.

To have a chance to win the necklace you just need to leave a comment after one of this week’s blog posts.

I hope you join me for this heart-centred week! Life is precious.  Live from the heart. Love and Light, Nicole xx

6 February update:  The winner of the necklace is Suzie Cheel.  Congratulations!

How to nurture Inner Peace

“Peace of mind is not a goal I need achieve.  It’s a place inside I never want to leave.  Close my eyes, I still my thoughts and then I say I will choose to live in peace today.” – Robert Alan           (Beautiful image by anankkml)

Most of us live bombarded by situations, workplaces, devices and relationships that over-stimulate us.  In fact, this overt stimulation seems ‘normal’ and we don’t realise just how frazzled, stressed and over-extended we are, because that’s how everyone lives!

In this state of bombardment, our bodies produce extra chemicals to hype us up and help us cope as we become more stressed.  And in this place of stress we become less able to hear our own inner guidance systems, and the guidance systems of the universe.  This stress taxes our body and soul.  We also become much more left-brain dominant.  Our left brain analyses and organises and prioritises and schedules and criticises to help us cope with the overwhelming inflow of stimulation and information.  (I feel exhausted just reading that!)  Our creative, emotive, spiritual right brain is used much less.  That aspect of us becomes ignored.

As a result we become depleted, depressed, exhausted and just plain old stuck.

 (Image by graur codrin)

In fact, sometimes we become so depleted or overwhelmed that the universe assists us in our need to hibernate and reconnect by gifting us an illness, accident or other life-altering drama so that we have no choice but to rest and re-evaluate.

If that sounds even remotely like you, it’s time to nurture some inner peace.  Inner Peace is a place of calm connectedness, an energy of stillness and silence that is found deep within you.  It replenishes you, it heals and refreshes you, and it radiates from you to touch, heal and calm others.

Here are some simple suggestions for nurturing Inner peace:

  1. Declare certain days or times of the day to be computer, television and telephone free.
  2. Simplify your life.
  3. Spend less time doing things you don’t want to, and being with people who tax you.
  4. Instead of going to shopping malls and crowded places, try a beach, a park, your garden, or even your lounge or bedroom. (But no TV, phone or computer!)
  5. Let go of some of your extra commitments and activities.
  6. Book a weekend break somewhere in nature where you can eat, sleep, walk, read and rest.  Leave the phone and laptop at home and resist the urge to listen to the radio, read the newspaper or watch TV.  Practice being lazy and indulgent.
  7. Learn to meditate.
  8. Take up yoga, tai chi or qi gung and practice it daily on your own.
  9. Indulge in a regular massage, health or beauty treatment that is relaxing and/or healing.  Ask the practitioner not to talk unless the question or instruction is part of the treatment.
  10. Spend five minutes each day just being mindful of where you are, how you feel, what is happening around you in nature, and what is happening in your body.
  11. Walk.
  12. Go on a retreat.
  13. Start a hobby you can do on your own like art, woodwork, knitting or writing.  Make the hobby a form of meditation.
  14. Dance. It frees and builds energy within the body, and promotes joyfulness.
  15. Sleep. (Yep, that’s right.  It’s a remarkable antidote to fatigue!) 

Many people who are out of balance, or who feel a spiritual calling are telling me right now that they feel a compulsion to drop the drama.  They just don’t feel like being with ‘friends’ who gossip destructively, who drink excessively or who otherwise drain them.  They can feel themselves literally putting up barriers, or going into behaviours such as avoidance by not answering their phone or returning emails.  They feel themselves withdrawing from the complexities and overwhelming interaction of their lives.  They also feel the need to ‘get their house in order’.  For some people this is about doing seven years of overdue taxes.  For other people it is about de-cluttering their home, or even their social calendar so that there is time and space for themselves to transform.

Is that okay?  YES.  Sometimes we need to simplify and create time for ourselves so that we can heal and reconnect.  When we reduce the outside chatter and the need to be organised and involved we are free to spend times with ourselves, in self and spiritual exploration.  Our inner world is rich and filled with delights, directions, ideas and advice.  But we can only connect with this aspect of ourselves through peace, solitude and rest.  And sometimes we need to rest FIRST.  Reconnection can begin after our batteries have recharged enough that we are no longer just in survival mode.

Here is a five minute guided meditation to nurture your connection to inner peace:

Nicole Cody’s Meditation for Inner Peace

 

This beautiful artwork called Inner Flame is by Jet James, an awesome young Australian Artist.  I love the serenity and peace captured in this image.

A week’s worth of Self-Nurture Tips

Most people know they need to look after themselves, and that by nurturing themselves they will promote self-love and healthier self-worth and self-esteem.  But many people don’t actually know how to go about doing that. Over the next week I’m going to look at practical ways you can begin to make a stronger connection with yourself, take better care of yourself, and learn the gentle art of Self-Nurture.

Day 1 – How to nurture your Physical Body

Day 2 – How to nurture your Creativity

Day 3 – How to nurture your Sense of Self Love

Day 4 – How to nurture your Spiritual Connection

Day 5 – How to nurture Inner Peace

Day 6 – How to nurture your Mind

Day 7 – How to nurture your Connection to the Earth

I hope you join me in this healing journey. As I write each post this week I’ll add the link for the page to the list above. (If there isn’t a link, the post’s not written yet.)  Much love to you! ♥ Nicole xx