In our age of overwork, stress, social isolation, time pressure and exhaustion, it is increasingly important to know what fills you back up again, what makes you smile, what brings joy and happiness into your life.
What does happiness look like to you? If you don’t know, make it your mission to find out, and then make a list to put on your refrigerator, mirror, or somewhere you can be often reminded of these things and their importance in your life.
This is some of what happiness looks like to me:
♥ Browsing in bookshops, and finding some new treasure to take home.
Shakespeare and Company Bookshop, Paris. Image from stylestudio.blogspot.com
♥ A shared meal with friends
Image from rhinoafrica.com
♥ Going to the movies to see something on the big screen
Image by Robert Pearce
♥ Wandering through the markets
Bangalow Markets – fourth Sunday of every month!
♥ Travelling to new places and soaking up the atmosphere
Bangkok floating markets – Thailand
♥ Losing myself in a book
Image from imbookingit.com
♥ Hugs
Image from mdjunction.com
♥ Time in nature
Heaven’s in my backyard!
♥ Swimming in the ocean
Beach – Byron Bay!
♥ A cup of tea with friends
Carly-Jay Metcalfe and Gordon Greber
♥ Working on my book
Cafe writing – my favourite kind of breakfast!
♥ Snuggling up in bed with the one I love – or family cuddles
Charlie and Bert – actively guarding the house!
♥ Baking, and sharing my creations with others!
Brownies and a cuppa on the veranda
Life’s too short not to include lots of the things you love. Happiness is a choice. Remember to enjoy the journey. Much love to you ♥ xx
Bert in the back of the ute, helping with the pasture inspection
Today it looks like I’m blogging about farming. But I’m not really. I’m blogging about you. Read on…
Life on the farm is always varied. Yesterday we went down to the flats by the river to inspect the pasture regrowth. Once upon a time (long before us) this paddock was heavily cropped, year after year, with corn and sorghum. We’ve had the cattle locked out of here for a few months, and with all the rain and warm weather the grass should be springing back nicely.
But of course it isn’t.
Except for the areas where a nice pile of cow dung has nourished the soil. Around the old cow pats the grass has sprung strong and green and at least two feet taller than the rest of the paddock.
That tells us something important. The soil is depleted, and needs a good feed. If you get the soil right, you can grow anything.
We farm organically. Where we can we even farm bio-dynamically. We look after our dirt. Right now I have some cow dung stuffed into cowhorns, buried in a corner of my garden, ready to make BD500, a biodynamic preparation for restoring the soil fertility. It sounds kind of witchy, which is maybe why it appeals to me, but I know one thing – in the areas where we’ve already used it the pasture is lush and green, with great species biodiversity. We also apply a natural rock dust fertiliser called NatraMin to restore the nutrient and mineral levels in the depleted soil.
Yes, alright, Nicole, I can hear you say. That’s lovely, but how does that apply to me?
You know I’m going to tell you…
You are like soil. Everything grows or doesn’t grow dependent on how rich your interior soil is.
Are you feeding your body well? Are you giving it a wide range of food groups, good fats and proteins, and choosing lots of plant-based foods in your diet to help your body be healthy and strong? If you take this even further, can you choose organic or chemical-free foods, and foods that are grown locally with low food miles? Farmers Markets are usually fantastic for these sorts of choices and you’ll be supporting farmers who care about their dirt.
Raw Ecstasy Food Tent at the Bangalow Markets, Saturday mornings, behind the pub! Great for sweet healthy treats and my favourite tamari almonds.
Best spuds in the Universe – local Dutch Creams…
Best ‘taters ever, all locally grown!
Are you feeding your mind well? Are you giving it new learnings and challenges to help it grow, and stay fit and active? Are you exercising? Are you reading and watching movies and documentaries, creating and travelling and having adventures?
Gubbio, as viewed from the balcony of my medieval hotel, Italy, 2010 *Note: this could also be considered soul food…
Are you feeding your Soul? Are you connecting with people, hugging your pets, spending time in nature, doing things that make your heart sing? Do you meditate, pray or spend time in spiritual reflection? Journalling, writing and other creative acts can be both brain food and soul food, which is a lovely bonus!
Muddy boots from a walk around the farm. After the walk we sat on the verandah and shared scones, tea and a few laughs. Wonderful!
Nothing grows well in depleted soil. Take some time to nourish yourself: body, mind and spirit. The more you nourish yourself, the richer the rewards will be. Every time. It might take some time if you’ve really stressed yourself out, really run yourself down, really done a number on yourself.
But just like my poor, tired, nutrient-stripped paddock, you’ll come back with some TLC, a little effort and the right basic ingredients.
You deserve to thrive. But it’s impossible to do that without good soil. Nurture yourself. You’re worth it. I promise the results will delight you! Bless ♥ xx
And if you need some inspiration, go find this movie…
Strong people are used to coping. They are used to leading. They are used to taking charge. Strong people are able to put their own hurt and exhaustion aside when others rely them, or the job needs to get done. They are not good at sharing their pain or asking for help.
You know who I mean. They front up to life each day, often with a smile on their face, and you’d never know how tough it is for them to keep doing that. The single parent juggling two jobs and an impossible ex. The husband living with a wife with severe depression. The mum whose child has an addiction issue; the oncologist who doles out bad news all day; the person with a mountain of debt and a health problem; the teacher motivating kids who come from homes where no-one cares; the manager running a department fraught with problems and no end in sight; the short-handed team trying to meet a crazy deadline; the calm poised person who turns up to work each day, but who goes home to loneliness or a horrid family or spouse.
When strong people keep coping (or appearing to cope) with life’s pain and hardships, it’s easy for others to make demands on you. They see you standing strong, and they forget what you have been through, what you are going through, what lies ahead of you. They keep looking to you for leadership.
Image from kolorkube.com
And the truth is, most strong people can keep on functioning, even when they feel dead inside, completely broken, and in the deepest despair.
Strong people were built to cope, and when you aren’t coping (even though no-one may know that), it is vital that you get some time out, find some support, or make some decisions that help you move back to your natural state of strength.
When you are a strong and capable person, you shine brightly. That’s why people turn to you, follow you, ask for your advice. And often when people are leaning on you for strength, they want and need you to be who you always portray yourself as, who you’ve always been for them. Even if you are affected by the same issue, it’s likely they won’t see how exacting this toll has been on you.
Image from photostock.com
Sometimes, it’s because you hide it so well.
Sometimes it’s because people don’t even realise that you might hurt, that you might need help yourself.
Sometimes it’s because needy people, in their own world of hurt, have no idea that you might be suffering too.
So, my strong friend – look after you. Withdraw if you must, regroup, find your feet. Close the door to others if there is nothing left within you to give. Little birds must sometime fly, no matter how reluctant they may be to leave your nest.
Often some time for self-nurture or a break away from the stress is all you’ll need before you are refreshed and ready to carry on.
Image from freedigitalphotos.net
But you might need greater support, a counsellor, a change of scenery, an ending…
If you do, then seek that support or change. Life is too short and precious to live it on your knees.
Do what gives you relief. Value yourself as much as you value the wants and needs of others.
I hope you find strong arms to support you. Sometimes that’s family – or friends can often be that support where family fail to measure up.
But I have found over time, as have many of my own dear friends, that there are times when we walk alone except for God. And that is how we find that strength within that helps us understand that we really can deal with anything life throws at us, no matter how awful or frightening or abhorrent, and that no matter how we might not like it, we can and do deal with it the best we know how, which is always all we are ever asked to do.
As a strong person you’re a bright light in the world for so many gloomy and frightened souls, so many stuck or lonely or directionless beings. It is your choice to be that bright light, but it is also your calling – you can’t help but be who you are. When you are the teacher, when you are the Colonel, the Queen, the leader, when you are the one at the front of the class, everyone else looks to you. They don’t see you as a person any more, they see you as Teacher, Healer, Captain, Wise Woman, Father, Madam Muse. And you ARE all those things.
But you’re also the person they won’t or can’t acknowledge. The person who is tired and frightened and battle weary. They need to see you strong because seeing you strong gives them faith and hope that their own lives will be okay somehow. When you are championing them, you are helping them to know that there is a light within themselves. You give them hope to believe in themselves. It is only after, when they have found their own light within that they will be able to acknowledge your darkness, and your humanity.
Image from freedigitalphotos.net
I know you have the strength to get through this too. It’s okay if you need to pull back for a while. Resting and healing will help you to keep shining one day when you’re ready to be that thing again.
It’s a tough act, being a responsible grown up amongst so many who are still finding their feet. I’m sending all love your way, and including you in my prayers and meditations. ♥
Crystals have their own energetic field, just as humans do, and one of the great things about crystals is that you can also use them to create geometric shapes within which you can create an energetic room or field big enough to exert energy and influence over a wider space. This technique is known as gridding.
Today I’m going to show you the basics of creating simple grids at home.
How a Crystal Grid Works
Crystals each have their own particular vibration, and an electromagnetic or auric field around them. All living things also have a unique vibration, and auric as well as etheric fields (This is just the energy field emitted by a living thing). When a crystal is introduced to a human’s auric field, there is a shift of vibrational energy. The crystal may be able to accept and transmute the lower or negative vibrations within that person’s auric field, allowing that person to move to a clearer or higher vibration.
Crystal energy can be used to restore order to a chaotic vibrational field, or to increase vibrational level, which helps to move you to a more positive and lighter energy. Crystals may impart a vibration particular to that type of stone which can help, heal or impart particular vibrational qualities and strengths. Gridding with crystals involves amplifying the vibration of a crystal by using it in conjunction with others. This is a bit like turning up the volume on your radio, while adding additional radio towers to strengthen the frequency.
Gridding Basics
Gridding involves using a number of similar or complimentary crystals, placed in a configuration. The most common shape is a square or oblong, but triangles and circles are also common. Circles are fun to make, and I often make one during equinoxes or full moons. It recharges my stones and when I sit in it, it recharges me!
The grid below, which was made in my backyard for an eclipse, was big enough for several people to lie within. It was a great place for a nap and I couldn’t keep my dogs out of it!
More intricate grid shapes involve using a larger number of crystals. A generator crystal can be used in the center of the configuration to amplify the energy of the outer crystals, and to strengthen the vibration.
I have made grids to go in the foundations of houses, and one of my favourite configurations is a Fibonacci Spiral. But that is a fairly complex process, and today I promised I would keep things simple.
A grid of crystals can be placed near you in a room where you work or rest. However, for maximum effect it is best if you can actually sit or lie within the grid itself. Common ways to place a grid are to lay the stones out around a chair, bed, meditation space or desk. You can also grid a room by placing crystals in the room corners, or grid your house by placing crystals at the extreme corners of that house. (You may need more than four to cover every corner).
Another effective technique is to grid the perimeter of your house, placing the crystals along your fence line. Larger, more robust crystals are often best for this, and they will be self cleansing and generating. However, do not judge the energy level of the crystal by size alone! Some of the most powerful stones can often be no bigger than a pebble.
Additional Gridding Uses
Grids can be used to aid sleep, healing and mental alertness. They can be used to help with Meditation and for connecting with Higher Self, Guides, and Past Lives. Grids can assist with creativity, abundance and manifesting and maximizing your natural talents. They can provide protection and wisdom.
You can use grids to help your garden grow, to vitalize herbs, fruits and vegetables. Pets often benefit from a grid placed in their sleeping area. Grids can be discretely placed to encourage harmony, healing or honesty within a situation. They can also be used to absorb the negativity of others without this energy being passed to you. People who have experienced problems with psychic attack can often be greatly assisted in this way. In fact, whatever the natural vibrational properties of the crystal, they will be passed to you.
A Rose Quartz Grid has greatly enhanced my strawberries and tomatoes!
To Build Your Own Crystal Grid:
We are going to work with the most basic shape – a square whose corners are anchored by a crystal. So you will need four crystals to build your grid, and you may like to select a fifth one to hold as you sit in the centre. Use this grid to raise your vibration, and enhance your own energy field. (This is also great done around your bed for helping heal you while you sleep!)
This exercise is based on the principles of sacred geometry. It will facilitate health, healing, clarity and connection.Set your intent by offering up a prayer or energetic intention that this exercise be for your Highest Good.Set up your Crystal Grid, using the four crystals, by laying them out in a square.Visualise a pyramid of White Light extending up from the crystals, and one extending down into the floor, creating an energetic three dimensional diamond shape. It should look like this:
Sit, lie or stand inside this Light Grid.
Bring Light in through your Crown Chakra. Use your intuition as to what colour Light to use.
Flood your body with Light. On every inhale, draw Light into your body. On every exhale, see wispy grey energy leaving your body via your lungs or Base Chakra, and being drained through the bottom of the Pyramid.
Continue until your body feels light and calm.
Enhance this meditation by holding crystals whose characteristics or properties you wish to assimilate into your energetic field. Women hold the crystal with hands cupped left on the bottom and right on top, palm upwards. Men reverse this position, so that the left hand is on top and right underneath.
You may also like to use one of my Guided Meditations from the past three days. Links here, here and here. Then simply rest and relax in this delicious energy, until you feel restored.
Image from fanpop.com
Recharging your Grid
Crystals need to be cleaned and re-energised from time to time, unless they are outside, planted in or on the earth, where they will be self charging. With practice you will know when your crystals need attention because you will feel their energy decreasing. There are many ways to cleanse and recharge your crystals. If you are using your crystals regularly, take care of them and cleanse them often.
Living and working as a psychic can be quite draining, although I love what I do. It’s not dissimilar to any other ‘caring’ profession, where you are totally focused on the needs of others, in a way that leaves little time for yourself.
I’ve learned that the best way to avoid burnout for me is to work for a few intense days in a row and then have a complete break from clients for a time. And one of the ways I often celebrate finishing my work week is with a visit to Queenies Teahouse, at Nundah Village in Brisbane.
It’s the perfect place for nurture and soul food. From the moment you push open the door with its tinkling bell you can feel yourself begin to unwind. Smiling staff greet you and usher you to crisp linen’d tables, and soon you’ll find yourself cradling a small tasting cup of one of their delightful teas as you peruse the menu.
A visit to Queenies is like a step back in time, where the worries of the world stop at the front door. In the background the gentle strains of music your grandmother might have listened to – all the old jazz and blues greats, and the sounds of yesteryear – soothe and unfrazzle your senses. Gorgeous smells waft from the kitchen.
This is no coffee shop with its clatter and noise, laptops and mobile phones. Here you find friends chatting, generations of families catching up over a pot of tea, and individuals having a moment’s respite from their daily madness – a sort of ‘tea and tasties’ meditation for one.
The teas are sublime and there are so many to choose from. There are two full menu pages devoted to the tea selection, with the sorts of descriptions usually reserved for wine lists.
The herbal tea and green tea varieties are as extensive as the black teas, and they always arrive at your table perfectly brewed, or refreshingly iced.
And have I mentioned the food…
Everything is made fresh in the Queenies kitchen – examples include the daintiest of ribbon sandwiches, creamy risotto, savoury mince (that is right up there with my late grandmother’s), exquisite cakes, coconut ice, and of course cupcakes and scones to die for…
Yesterday a friend and I enjoyed ribbon sandwiches and a pot of Creme Brulee Tea, followed by something sweet.
For me, the most moist and delicious gluten-free orange and almond cake, with its own little shotglass of orange syrup and a perfect ball of chocolate ganache of swooning quality…
For my friend, the baked cheesecake with its spicy gingernut biscuit crust and heavenly berry topping…
The menu has all the traditional high tea favourites, and is also vegetarian and gluten-free friendly. And there are lovely treats to take home – a sachet or two of your favourite tea, a pretty teapot or tea-towel, or perhaps a tiny tea set for the small people in your life.
My wonderful friend, the poet Carly-Jay Metcalfe was moved to poetry by yesterday’s outing. You can read about it here.
In fact, I was so inspired that I am planning to book the place out and have a Sunday Function here one day soon, where we can combine Soul Food, Spirituality, Blessings and Poetry over a lovely lunch and a good cup of tea with like-minded souls. Stay tuned for details!
I’m here with some good news. You are powerful, and you can make a difference in our world!
Have you noticed that much of the world media is focussed primarily upon the negative, and it builds a vibration of fear and uncertainty around our futures? Many of us are reeling under the constant barrage of bad news, and the latest market crash, tragedy or monstrous act of violence.
It is easy to feel that we are insignificant in the scheme of things. But this is not the case. Many people have changed the world through their thoughts, and actions. And you too can play a part in lifting the vibration of our world to a place of Harmony and Peace.
At the core of our distress is always lack of Love. When we live from our Hearts, violence against each other, and senseless acts of greed and inhumanity within our communities and environment dissolve. Why? These are not products of the Heart, but of the Mind. They arise from our sense of disconnectedness from ourselves, our families, our communities, our environment and God/Source Energy.
So what can you do?
Firstly, focus on all that IS good in your life, and in the world, no matter how small that detail may be. Do not give your attention to the bad news around you, and the unwanted things in your life. Focus purely on what is going well, and what makes you feel good.
When you pray or meditate, bring that beautiful Divine Love and Light into your body and heart. Fill yourself up, and allow the Love and Light to continue to flow through you and to the people around you. Picture people and situations, and send healing energy and Love to them. Surround them in white Light and wish them only Love and Good, no matter who they are or what their actions might have been. See people and situations only as you wish them to be – full of harmony, wellness, love, creativity, joy and peace. Don’t dwell on negativity – always choose Light. Choose forgiveness of yourself and others
Within your immediate circle, practice acts of love, kindness and compassion. Move outside your own needs, and begin to understand and reach out to meet the needs of the people around you. Strengthen relationships within your family, friends and community.
Create a network of support for yourselves and others. Speak well of people. Treat others in the way you would wish to be treated, and always, always send and practice Love and Kindness. Where people hurt and upset you, send them more Love and Kindness. And when you are hurt and upset, connect with Love and Light to heal yourself.
Be true to yourself. Practice self nurture, and allow yourself the time and freedom to enjoy your life and your relationships. Use the gifts that you were blessed with to do the things you are passionate about, and that you most enjoy. Doing this puts good energy back into the world, and allows you to grow and flourish at a Soul level, making ever increasing amounts of positive energy available to you and to those around you. You will have a positive impact on your immediate environment, friends and family just through your personal energy and state of mind!
Reach out to others whenever you can. We are social creatures, and it is when our connections with others begin to weaken and fall apart that we are most capable of harming ourselves and others. Practice a spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness, but most of all, BE Love. Remember old people and children. Help them to feel loved and wanted. Find a way to give back to your community or a charity of your choice. Lead by example.
Accept healing and nurture from nature. Spend time in natural environments, and with plants and pets. They are all here to give us Love. Introduce nature into your home and work environments and try to spend time in the fresh air and sunshine. Yes, it does make a difference!
Slow down! Take time to breath, to feel, to rest and relax. Reduce your stress, and the stress you impose on others. Eat well and look after your health. Support products, services, organizations and individuals with integrity and who treat the world and its inhabitants with Love and Respect.
Finally, strive for Love and excellence in all you do, and in all you are. When you raise your own vibration, it has a positive cascade effect on all around you. So, don’t buy into fear – choose Love. Like the saying goes, “Be the change you want to see in the World.”
Congratulations! I’ve just gifted you a Free Pass. You might want to cut this out and store it in your wallet. You may also want to pass this one on to someone else who would benefit from it.
This is a magical ticket. It allows you to decline a usual activity or responsibility, so that you may replace it with one of your choosing. Used responsibly, this magical ticket has been found to have restorative properties for Body, Mind and Spirit.
I’m using my own ticket today. Although technically a day off for me, I had planned a mass of admin work; catching up on emails, phone calls and filing. But it’s rainy and cool, and way too early. So I’m going back to bed for a nice big sleep. When I wake up I’ll decide how to spend the rest of my day. So far I’m leaning towards yum cha, a movie and a good book.
PS – this ticket renews itself, so tuck it away after you’ve used it. Just knowing it’s in your wallet is often enough to get you through a tough patch. And when you really need it, it will be there for you. Enjoy! ♥ xx
You don’t have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. ~C.S. Lewis
Week 4: All About My Soul
We are all Spiritual Beings. We cannot separate ourselves from our Spirituality, just as we cannot separate ourselves from our Physicality. However, just as we can become physically unfit and unhealthy, we can also become disconnected from our awareness of and trust in our Inner Connectedness.
This week we are going to work on connecting into our own Soul Wisdom. So often we let our minds guide and inform us, or the thoughts and opinions of others. But there is a source of great truth and inspiration within us – and by looking within ourselves we can find answers to things we’ve wondered on forever. We’re going to start this week with a pledge to ourselves. It’s a daily thing, so if your choose, recommit to it daily. But the pledge lasts only 24 hours, so it is entirely do-able.
Just for today I will be gentle and generous with myself. I will allow myself the freedom to think, feel, experience and express the emotions, creativity and soul wisdom I have locked inside me. Just for today I will put self criticism and self judgement aside and just BE.
Just for today I will support and encourage those around me. I will refrain from criticisms, gossip and unkind words or actions towards myself and others. Just for today I will be a friend to myself, and to the people I meet.
Signed:
__________________________________________
Journal Exercise:
Spend time journaling to explore your gifts, talents and passions this week. Work out what you value, and what your personal and professional priorities are.
Try to remember what you were good at as a younger person, and what you enjoyed doing back then. Those things are often clues to a Self we have forgotten or left behind…
Go through old photos, letters and books. Recapture some lost aspects of yourself. Use all of this, and the following starters to write:
I was sure, when I was small, that I wanted to…
An area I have always felt passionate about is…
A hobby that allows me to express myself well is…
Environments I feel really at home in are…
Places that always make me uncomfortable are…
If I could identify a past life for myself it would surely be…
One thing I stand for is…
I feel alive when I am…
It kills me a little inside every time I have to…
When I was at school the thing I really excelled at was…
I’ve never been much good at…
The things that came naturally to me as a child were…
I know it’s not necessarily valued, but I am really good at…
When I look at old photographs of myself I realise…
When I look into my future I would like to see…
I’d forgotten I was so interested in…
If I could turn back time and study anything it would be…
The strengths in me are…
I have always felt a spiritual connection or feeling when…
If I was tuned in better to my gut feelings I would…
My intuition is telling me…
Places that uplift me are…
Places that comfort me are…
My ideal life would look like this…
Realistic changes I can make are…
Activity:
Be kind to yourself and others. Reconnect with people you care about, and who care about you.
Visit a meditation group, church, temple, beach or some place that holds spiritual and replenishing energy for you. Go on your own or with friends, but go!
Make a commitment to yourself to live authentically. Stand up and give voice to what you believe in. Let your values guide you. Live by your principles. You can do this in a quiet way, by voting with your shopping dollar or writing letters, or in a bigger way. It’s up to you!
Plan some longer term changes in your career or personal life to better reflect your talents, gifts and values. Invest in yourself, your education, and your interests. Live your best life!
Love is one of the essential things that all humans need to sustain us, and to make life worthwhile. What is the heart chakra for, if not to give and receive love? We need to make ourselves magnetic to love.
Did you know that we attract what we energetically put out to the Universe, and we also receive love in direct correlation to the amount we feel that we deserve?
Today’s blog post is about getting ready to love – outlining the practical steps that you can take to attract or improve and keep real love within your life. Love for yourself, love for and from others. Tomorrow we will look at how to attract new love relationships, soul mates and life partners.
Start with yourself
The World mirrors back to us what we energetically put out. It is impossible for people to love you, help you or nurture you more than you will allow them to. As you treat yourself, so will others treat you. The most fundamental action that you can take to improve your love life is to love yourself first.
Take time to really take care of yourself. Look after your health, your fitness and your appearance. This sends a message to the Universe, and all those within it, that you value yourself, and that you are worth taking care of, and pride in. Self care also sends a strong message to others about how to treat you. Self care is not about the ‘Cult of Youth’ portrayed by the media – all artificial appearances, cosmetic surgery and being something or someone you are not. Self care is all about maintaining and caretaking your physical and emotional body, in the way that a good tenant takes care of their home and land.
Self nurture.
To nurture something is to shower it with love and care, to protect it from negative influences, and to give it the things that will help it to grow strong and healthy. In some cases, self nurture is also about allowing yourself the time, space and resources to heal. Self nurture keeps us interesting to ourselves and others, and is what makes our lives rich and fulfilled. Following and developing our interests forges a strong sense of self, and that then acts like an internal compass which guides our direction and decisions. Some tips on self nurture here.
What you believe you are worth is what you will attract into your life. If you constantly attract relationships that are not fulfilling, you need to go further in examining your own beliefs and motivations. If you are in a relationship that started off well, but has since deteriorated in the quality of loving, look to how you behave – your input into the relationship, your level of self nurture and care, and your beliefs and actions. Have you ended up putting yourself last, or settling for second best? To improve your sense of self worth, practice self care and self nurture!
Sometimes when we move into a new relationship we move our own needs aside to focus our attention on the other person. This sets a dangerous precedent for future action, where you are in a trap of constantly putting yourself last. Even when you’re in a great relationship, maintaining self care and self nurture are what will help the great relationship remain great, without paying the ultimate price of sacrificing yourself and your identity in the process.
By practicing a higher level of self care and self nurture you can often rejuvenate an existing relationship and put it back on track. As you change and raise your own vibration, you will also raise the vibrational level of those around you.
Remember that you cannot look to one relationship to satisfy every need in your life. You need to take responsibility for choosing work, interests and friends that fulfill you too. As your life broadens and you become more actively involved in pursuing joy, you may find that your relationship is the one you wanted all along!
Meditation:
Journalling:
Today, create a list of positive words and phrases that describe you. Start with the words “I am” and finish with the words “I am love, loving, and lovable. All is well.”
When things are going wrong….
When you’re at the bottom of the relationship barrel of life, the only way is up!
Remove yourself from harm: If you’re in a dangerous or damaging relationship emotionally or physically, then find a safe space where you can regroup. This does not mean having to leave the relationship, (although it ultimately may), but it does mean being adult in your thinking, and honestly examining where you are at. If this is too hard to do at home, then take yourself off on your own for a walk or a coffee, or go away a few days. You need to be truthful with yourself. Parent yourself and ask, “If I were my child, would I be satisfied with this relationship for them?” If not, think carefully about what to do next. Perhaps it is something that is broken beyond repair, or that you have outgrown, but quite possibly it may be something you can work at. Seek help if you find you cannot cope, don’t have the tools to fix the problems yourself, or are not in a space for making sound and safe decisions for yourself. If the person you are with is involved in activities such as drug and alcohol abuse, or is violent, you must look realistically at the fact that no matter how much you try or how much you love that person, only THEY can change, and only if they want to. Always put your personal safety and the safety of any children first.
Limit exposure to negative influences: Clean up your act. Let go of damaging friendships and demanding situations for which there is no positive trade-off. Feel your pain rather than numbing it with food, sex, alcohol, drugs or negative company. It is better to be lonely and with a loving attitude to yourself, than with people who say or do things that have a negative impact upon you and those around you. Look at your past relationship patterns – do you use language such as “I always choose x,y,z” or “I’m just like my (mother, father, etc) I can never (keep a relationship, pick a good one etc).” Do you subconsciously choose people who will fail to love or respect you in the way that you deserve, or that mirror damaging relationships from your past, such as other family, friends or parents?
Find positive support: Seek out the company of positive and supportive relatives or friends. Try new social circles and activities. Use tools that uplift you, such as reading positive magazines and books, meditating, working with your Guides, and communicating often with Spirit, Angels and your Guides. Find or make a spiritual space that is a refuge for you, even if it is a corner of a room or garden. Bring beauty into your life so that the space around you reflects the changes you want to make within you.
Practice extreme self care: You know what to do. Look after yourself and treat yourself kindly and with patience.
♥ Sending YOU Love and Light, from my heart to yours, Nicole xx
PS – Remember to leave a comment, so you can be in the running to win my beautiful Heart Chakra healing necklace. Details and picture here
“Peace of mind is not a goal I need achieve. It’s a place inside I never want to leave. Close my eyes, I still my thoughts and then I say I will choose to live in peace today.” – Robert Alan (Beautiful image by anankkml)
Most of us live bombarded by situations, workplaces, devices and relationships that over-stimulate us. In fact, this overt stimulation seems ‘normal’ and we don’t realise just how frazzled, stressed and over-extended we are, because that’s how everyone lives!
In this state of bombardment, our bodies produce extra chemicals to hype us up and help us cope as we become more stressed. And in this place of stress we become less able to hear our own inner guidance systems, and the guidance systems of the universe. This stress taxes our body and soul. We also become much more left-brain dominant. Our left brain analyses and organises and prioritises and schedules and criticises to help us cope with the overwhelming inflow of stimulation and information. (I feel exhausted just reading that!) Our creative, emotive, spiritual right brain is used much less. That aspect of us becomes ignored.
As a result we become depleted, depressed, exhausted and just plain old stuck.
In fact, sometimes we become so depleted or overwhelmed that the universe assists us in our need to hibernate and reconnect by gifting us an illness, accident or other life-altering drama so that we have no choice but to rest and re-evaluate.
If that sounds even remotely like you, it’s time to nurture some inner peace. Inner Peace is a place of calm connectedness, an energy of stillness and silence that is found deep within you. It replenishes you, it heals and refreshes you, and it radiates from you to touch, heal and calm others.
Here are some simple suggestions for nurturing Inner peace:
Declare certain days or times of the day to be computer, television and telephone free.
Simplify your life.
Spend less time doing things you don’t want to, and being with people who tax you.
Instead of going to shopping malls and crowded places, try a beach, a park, your garden, or even your lounge or bedroom. (But no TV, phone or computer!)
Let go of some of your extra commitments and activities.
Book a weekend break somewhere in nature where you can eat, sleep, walk, read and rest. Leave the phone and laptop at home and resist the urge to listen to the radio, read the newspaper or watch TV. Practice being lazy and indulgent.
Learn to meditate.
Take up yoga, tai chi or qi gung and practice it daily on your own.
Indulge in a regular massage, health or beauty treatment that is relaxing and/or healing. Ask the practitioner not to talk unless the question or instruction is part of the treatment.
Spend five minutes each day just being mindful of where you are, how you feel, what is happening around you in nature, and what is happening in your body.
Walk.
Go on a retreat.
Start a hobby you can do on your own like art, woodwork, knitting or writing. Make the hobby a form of meditation.
Dance. It frees and builds energy within the body, and promotes joyfulness.
Sleep. (Yep, that’s right. It’s a remarkable antidote to fatigue!)
Many people who are out of balance, or who feel a spiritual calling are telling me right now that they feel a compulsion to drop the drama. They just don’t feel like being with ‘friends’ who gossip destructively, who drink excessively or who otherwise drain them. They can feel themselves literally putting up barriers, or going into behaviours such as avoidance by not answering their phone or returning emails. They feel themselves withdrawing from the complexities and overwhelming interaction of their lives. They also feel the need to ‘get their house in order’. For some people this is about doing seven years of overdue taxes. For other people it is about de-cluttering their home, or even their social calendar so that there is time and space for themselves to transform.
Is that okay? YES. Sometimes we need to simplify and create time for ourselves so that we can heal and reconnect. When we reduce the outside chatter and the need to be organised and involved we are free to spend times with ourselves, in self and spiritual exploration. Our inner world is rich and filled with delights, directions, ideas and advice. But we can only connect with this aspect of ourselves through peace, solitude and rest. And sometimes we need to rest FIRST. Reconnection can begin after our batteries have recharged enough that we are no longer just in survival mode.
Here is a five minute guided meditation to nurture your connection to inner peace:
