There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved. ~ George Sands
Love is one of the essential things that all humans need to sustain us, and to make life worthwhile. What is the heart chakra for, if not to give and receive love? We need to make ourselves magnetic to love.
Did you know that we attract what we energetically put out to the Universe, and we also receive love in direct correlation to the amount we feel that we deserve?
Today’s blog post is about getting ready to love – outlining the practical steps that you can take to attract or improve and keep real love within your life. Love for yourself, love for and from others. Tomorrow we will look at how to attract new love relationships, soul mates and life partners.
Start with yourself
The World mirrors back to us what we energetically put out. It is impossible for people to love you, help you or nurture you more than you will allow them to. As you treat yourself, so will others treat you. The most fundamental action that you can take to improve your love life is to love yourself first.
(Image by Stuart Miles)
Take time to really take care of yourself. Look after your health, your fitness and your appearance. This sends a message to the Universe, and all those within it, that you value yourself, and that you are worth taking care of, and pride in. Self care also sends a strong message to others about how to treat you. Self care is not about the ‘Cult of Youth’ portrayed by the media – all artificial appearances, cosmetic surgery and being something or someone you are not. Self care is all about maintaining and caretaking your physical and emotional body, in the way that a good tenant takes care of their home and land.
To nurture something is to shower it with love and care, to protect it from negative influences, and to give it the things that will help it to grow strong and healthy. In some cases, self nurture is also about allowing yourself the time, space and resources to heal. Self nurture keeps us interesting to ourselves and others, and is what makes our lives rich and fulfilled. Following and developing our interests forges a strong sense of self, and that then acts like an internal compass which guides our direction and decisions. Some tips on self nurture here.
(image by graur razvan ionut)
What you believe you are worth is what you will attract into your life. If you constantly attract relationships that are not fulfilling, you need to go further in examining your own beliefs and motivations. If you are in a relationship that started off well, but has since deteriorated in the quality of loving, look to how you behave – your input into the relationship, your level of self nurture and care, and your beliefs and actions. Have you ended up putting yourself last, or settling for second best? To improve your sense of self worth, practice self care and self nurture!
Sometimes when we move into a new relationship we move our own needs aside to focus our attention on the other person. This sets a dangerous precedent for future action, where you are in a trap of constantly putting yourself last. Even when you’re in a great relationship, maintaining self care and self nurture are what will help the great relationship remain great, without paying the ultimate price of sacrificing yourself and your identity in the process.
By practicing a higher level of self care and self nurture you can often rejuvenate an existing relationship and put it back on track. As you change and raise your own vibration, you will also raise the vibrational level of those around you.
Remember that you cannot look to one relationship to satisfy every need in your life. You need to take responsibility for choosing work, interests and friends that fulfill you too. As your life broadens and you become more actively involved in pursuing joy, you may find that your relationship is the one you wanted all along!
When things are going wrong….
When you’re at the bottom of the relationship barrel of life, the only way is up!
Remove yourself from harm: If you’re in a dangerous or damaging relationship emotionally or physically, then find a safe space where you can regroup. This does not mean having to leave the relationship, (although it ultimately may), but it does mean being adult in your thinking, and honestly examining where you are at. If this is too hard to do at home, then take yourself off on your own for a walk or a coffee, or go away a few days. You need to be truthful with yourself. Parent yourself and ask, “If I were my child, would I be satisfied with this relationship for them?” If not, think carefully about what to do next. Perhaps it is something that is broken beyond repair, or that you have outgrown, but quite possibly it may be something you can work at. Seek help if you find you cannot cope, don’t have the tools to fix the problems yourself, or are not in a space for making sound and safe decisions for yourself. If the person you are with is involved in activities such as drug and alcohol abuse, or is violent, you must look realistically at the fact that no matter how much you try or how much you love that person, only THEY can change, and only if they want to. Always put your personal safety and the safety of any children first.
Limit exposure to negative influences: Clean up your act. Let go of damaging friendships and demanding situations for which there is no positive trade-off. Feel your pain rather than numbing it with food, sex, alcohol, drugs or negative company. It is better to be lonely and with a loving attitude to yourself, than with people who say or do things that have a negative impact upon you and those around you. Look at your past relationship patterns – do you use language such as “I always choose x,y,z” or “I’m just like my (mother, father, etc) I can never (keep a relationship, pick a good one etc).” Do you subconsciously choose people who will fail to love or respect you in the way that you deserve, or that mirror damaging relationships from your past, such as other family, friends or parents?
Find positive support: Seek out the company of positive and supportive relatives or friends. Try new social circles and activities. Use tools that uplift you, such as reading positive magazines and books, meditating, working with your Guides, and communicating often with Spirit, Angels and your Guides. Find or make a spiritual space that is a refuge for you, even if it is a corner of a room or garden. Bring beauty into your life so that the space around you reflects the changes you want to make within you.
Practice extreme self care: You know what to do. Look after yourself and treat yourself kindly and with patience.
♥ Sending YOU Love and Light, from my heart to yours, Nicole xx
PS – Remember to leave a comment, so you can be in the running to win my beautiful Heart Chakra healing necklace. Details and picture here