Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. ~Samuel Butler
There are times when all of us will know fear, when anxiety will slowly cripple us, when panic takes hold. I’m not talking about those moments in life that truly deserve such a heart-jolting response; a gun pointed at us, the moment before a car crash, watching our child move into danger, fleeing a flood or a fire… I’m talking about those days, weeks or months where, stretched to breaking point, (for some of you, well beyond that place) or confronted with being well outside our comfort zone, our normal coping mechanisms go haywire, and we find ourselves in the midst of a physical response that hinders rather than helps us.
Since I developed cardiomyopathy I’ve come to know this set of emotions rather well. Crazy really. My enlarged heart needs to be calm and unruffled. But when it does something unexpected, some days I feel myself edge towards anxiety, fear or even worse, panic. It can be a scary thing when your body does things that cause sudden acute pain, or a feeling of impending death. And fear begets fear!
Just last night as I lay in bed it felt like my heart had turned to jelly and was wobbling all about on a plate in my chest – an awful flubby, slurpy, erractic heart-beat feeling. Oh, for a moment I was gripped with fear. For a moment I could feel myself slide towards panic. And of course that’s the last thing I need to be experiencing. How will I ever heal if I sit in that energy?
Fortunately I’ve been a life-long meditator, and I have tools at my disposal to help put me back into flow. So I said to myself, ‘I shall do a meditation. If it’s not any better by the end I shall call an ambulance. But if it’s better I’ll do more meditation and then I will go to sleep and wake up feeling better, stronger and clearer.’ And of course, that’s what happened.
So much of this wave of horrid fear, panic and anxiety is about us feeling dis-empowered, and unable to effect any control in our lives. It’s true that we may not be able to have control over things external to us, but we are always able to influence our thoughts, our emotions, even our physical reactions.
I’ve recorded a guided twelve minute meditation that takes you through the process I use for myself to find that calm centre within, to regain my strength and composure. The more your practise this meditation, the more you will come to find that you can get on top of these feelings, and return to a place of peace. Have a glass of water ready. When you are finished, drink some of this water to help anchor the images and feelings created during your meditation.
Sending much Love, Light and healing energy to you ♥ Nicole xx