“Progress means getting nearer to the place you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer.
If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man.”
~ C.S. Lewis
I spent the morning with my Lyme doctor yesterday. It’s been over a year since I embarked on a strict regime of diet, supplements, herbs and industrial quantities of various drug combinations. On top of my pre-existing meditation and alternate therapy practices that have kept me alive and functioning thus far, defying conventional prognosis.
Yesterday was all about evaluating my progress this past year, and determining our next course of action.
I went to my appointment armed with a list of symptoms: those which had improved, those which had worsened, new symptoms and those which have resolved and gone away. My list was only slightly shorter than War and Peace.
So, how did I go?
I can’t actually tell you yet.
I have a fistful of blood work tests that need to be done. I have to pee in a jar and poop in a cup.
I have to make appointments for a brain MRI, ultrasounds and scans of various organs and body parts. There is every kind of test for my heart.
And in the meantime I shall be drug and herb free. Two glorious weeks without this punishing regime of horrors. I feel like a kid at the beginning of summer vacation, with all those beautiful clear days stretched out ahead of me.
Once my results are in, we’ll formulate a new treatment plan, my doctors, alternate therapy practitioners and I.
I am looking forward to comparing where I am now with the results of previous tests and scans. I am hoping for good progress.
In the past thirty years, while I have dealt with declining health, often the only way to evaluate my progress or response to various healing agents was how I felt. I know lots of people who use that technique for evaluating their progress with Lyme treatments. And I think that is valid to some extent. If you feel better, you must BE better, right? And if you feel worse…
Truth is, I have felt WORSE, sometimes much worse, over the course of the previous year, as I have knuckled down and followed this healing path.
And I have had many times in my life where I have experienced a lessening of symptoms, or an upward swing for a while. When you live with chronic illness any kind of better day or improvement in energy and function, even if that improvement is marginal, seems like a really BIG thing.
But until last year, few of my improvements have ever lasted. And scientific evaluation of my condition over time, using evidence based medicine, prove that prior to 2013 I continued to deteriorate. Although, in my defense, I have stubbornly refused to die, even if that was my expected trajectory! 🙂
So, I welcome this next barrage of tests. I welcome being able to use the best that science and modern medicine can give me. I want to be able to critically evaluate what’s working, what isn’t, and working out from there where we go next. Yes, I am the psychic who embraces quantifiable results and proof of change!
I am hoping for measurable improvement. I’ll keep you posted as to how I go.
PS 🙂 Thank you to everyone who has contacted me with advice and suggestions. Some of your ideas and treatments have been happily embraced by myself and my very open-minded doctors. An especially big thank you to all the lymies who have given me tips on coping with herxing or who have suggested alternate therapies, herbs, essential oils and so on to compliment my current drug regime.
Thank you to my friends and readers. Your healing energies, prayers, letters and words of encouragement have meant the world to me, and have kept me going through the darkest of times.
And for all if the people who have contacted me with suggestions about changing my obviously-flawed thinking which caused my disease (Dude, get with the 21st century – they are actually called pathogens and you can see them under a microscope!) , repenting of sins, God’s cursing of psychics, past life regressions as THE definitive treatment, multi-level marketing product miracle cures accompanied by pages of written testimonials about people feeling better, and stories of people who have cured their Lyme disease with a crystal, drinking their own urine (I went there already and it didn’t work!) thirty-day water fast (tried that too), psychic surgery, amazing technological device or a simple solution of bi-carb soda or other common household product, thank you. I’m always opening to expanding my knowledge and trying new things. However… If you can claim a cause or cure, I would appreciate your evidence and long-term results to back this up.
Dear Nicole, you have been through the autumn and the winter of your treatment and now a short reprieve. Enjoy this break. I am grateful for all your results because they will be the road map you follow for your journey towards spring and summer. I continue to pray for you and thank you for the inspiration you share with us in all its creative forms. xox
I wish you joy in the next fortnight Nicole (and for as long as possible) and that you have positive news when you go back for your test results X
Nicole, such a journey!! I’ve been praying for you and will continue to pray for you and your dear husband (and doggies) who have stayed true to their promise of faithfulness. Enjoy your two gloriously drug-free weeks! xoxo
Had a laugh about the last part of the post. For what it’s worth I think murdering the little suckers (read pathogens) has to be a good thing. A bit like cane toads. Less is more!!!! Would be nice. If a bunch of us could toadbust internally Ooh just a funny mental picture of that. Enjoy your reprieve xxxx
You are my heroine! I wish you a happy holiday from the drugs…..a swim in your sea with Ben and the doggies and a chance to rest and relax and recuperate…..and of course a great prognosis from the treatment so far. Much love for you.
Hugs, love and BRAVO to you NIcole.
Big hugs, beautiful and enjoy the next ‘drug free’ two weeks! YAY and oh to the progress which I have no doubt there will be. Hang in there beautiful soul. Big love and healing light <3
Big hugs, beautiful and enjoy the next ‘drug free’ two weeks! YAY! And oh to the progress which I have no doubt there will be. Hang in there beautiful soul. Big love and healing light <3
I’m so glad you have a 2 week reprieve. I hope the tests come back with amazing results and the next chapter is much less ferocious than the first. What you have been through is astounding. You are one tough cookie! Only admiration to you.
You are made of sunlight and stars! You are powerful, enduring, and beautiful! May your next two weeks be more glorious than you could ever imagine! And I have everything that can be crossed…crossed in anticipation for the absolute best results of your tests! Hang in there Nicole!
Lots of love dear one, enjoy the next two weeks xxx
Suzy, I promise I shall. There may even be cake… Xoxo
Chant with me now “We’ve killed all the things!!” Love your tenacity gorgeous one… I’m loving the image of you enjoying your “break” XXX
Yes! Let’s chant it while eating cupcakes, sipping cocktails and dancing in our gumboots out in the paddock under a gigantic disco ball suspended above us by Tracey Tractor!
you deserve to enjoy this time, you have been incredibly brave . So my fingers and toes are crossed for you. And oh , what a team you and your Ben make.
Thank you! And yes, I am so very lucky to have Ben. Poor boy had no idea what he was signing up for when he married me!
Drug reprieve! *raises eyebrow* you remember moderation right? (and no, Harry’s version does not count) Crossing body parts for you re the tests -which you don’t have to study for 😉 and much love.
How cool that there is no study involved!!! Harry is very keen for celebration so I shall take your note of caution under advisement. Hugs n love xx
Enjoy the fortnight ahead. Wishing your measurable and positive results. And thank you so much for the immeasurable gifts you have given me through knowing you, working with you and sharing your inspirational and deeply human blog. Sending much anti-pathogenic love Nikki XX
Thank you, darling Nikki. Am still dreaming healing dreams of time on your sacred land. Big hugs and love xx
here is hoping for you that there has been progress that you can measure.
I am quietly confident there shall be. Thanks for your kind wishes and support xoxo
lots of love and thoughts xo
Thank you 🙂
I’ve been following your journey carefully. My heart is full of hope that you’ll be happy dancing soon! I sort of carved my own path to healing by tuning into what my body said, over everything & everybody else…Medicine works, but mind Medicine works also. So, yes, do pay close attention to what your body tells you & above all, keep the faith@
Mind medicine, meditation, herbs, reiki, energy medicine, so many kinds of healing available to us! I consider it a blessing to have so much choice. Wishing us both a complete healing, whatever that may be! Much love to you, Nicole xx
Sweet Nic. You rock Super Girl. I don’t believe there’s a pathogen on this planet whose butt you won’t kick. (And there’s also nothing a few well-timed Mediterrean cocktails will also help). Love you precious xxx
Kimmie, I am counting the days til cocktail time. 🙂 Love you too xx
No strange and unwelcome suggestions of strange things to try from me… Just wishing you well.
Susi, that’s more than enough. Heartfelt hugs right back to you xoxo