“Become major, Paul. Live like a hero. That’s what the classics teach us. Be a main character. Otherwise what is life for?”
~ J.M. Coetzee
One of the problems of having a chronic illness like Lyme Disease is that so often you end up marginalised in your own life. If you choose to expend some of your precious energy in one area of your day, there’ll be none left for other choices. In fact, there may be no more energy for days.
Because of that, life usually dwindles to a handful of survival skills, and a few crumbs of a greater existence that you do your best to grasp and experience as deeply as you can. If you can. When you can.
As Lyme has stolen my moments, my energy, my social life, my cognitive function, my family, my bodily functions, my years, the one blessing is that I’ve mostly been too ill to care.
But I’m actively healing now. Life is changing. I am changing.
I am reclaiming this wider sense of me.
So, in that spirit, I celebrated Christmas with a staff party this year.
Party? Dinner, really. Nothing too wild. And staff? So far I have just one. Although my dreams are big. 🙂
I just felt the need to say thank you. To my one staff member, to my darling husband Ben, who is my greatest support, and to the Universe, which has conspired with me to change my fortunes and expand my horizons.
This little party was so important to me – so symbolic and imbued with meaning – that I deliberately stopped my Lyme meds long enough that I would be able to enjoy an alcoholic drink or two, like a real proper grown-up healthy person!
Dana, my wonderful PA, came over to my house in the afternoon and we talked hair, clothes and all the sorts of girly things I haven’t done for years. It reminded me of when I was back in College, getting ready for a big night out. Oh, it was thrilling.
Late in the afternoon I washed my hair. I thought about what I would wear. I painted my toenails!
Darkness fell, and out Ben and I went. We met Dana and her husband at a beautiful Japanese restaurant, and sat at a table with a view out over the sparkly night.
We ate delicious food, I enjoyed TWO excellent Asahi beers (I had planned cocktails, or champagne, but in the end, after such a hot day, those beers were mighty fine!), and then, some of the last diners to leave, we ventured out into the tropical evening and caught a taxi home.
Today it’s back to green smoothies, detox food, and my usual routine of pills, potions and therapies.
I’m hope-filled right now. To be reclaiming these small spaces in my life feels like a miracle.
Today I’ll be planning my year ahead; with my journal, my coloured pens, and the reading I gave myself on the Soul Sanctuary Retreat.
I wonder how many people shall be gathered at my Staff Christmas Party table in 2015, and where we might be?
How exciting it will be to see this next year unfold!
How about you? What are you planning, dreaming and scheming for 2015? I’d love to know!
Much love to you, Nicole xx
I also am happy for you
lovely evening it sounds…many more to you!
That all sounds just fine!!! What an excellent simple delight.
One of your 365 days this year has been spent on delightful whimsy – may there be many more.
Enjoy the finer things, eat and drink to fill your soul and may I suggest you pick up a book called The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Put your feet up and get lost in the moment because sometimes we need to return to childish things in order to grow. x
Yay! I’m so pleased for you 💗
We have just decided to build a house! So next year will be figuring out exactly what we want, ready to build in 2016. Very exciting!
What a wonderful staff meeting …the food looks good .
My life has totally changed this year, Nicole , we have moved to a new area by the sea . We have been building our house there for the last three years ( we hope to move in springtime ,living in cottage at mo) . Next year we hope open our new house as a B&B …It’s totally a new venture .
I would urge anyone if you really want something , and are lucky enough to have the means , go for it .
Cherryx
Yay! Nicole 🙂 You did it! Progress is a wonderful thing… I am so happy for you. Staff party sounded delightful.
It is funny because you and Dana were the main characters in my dream last night.
Thank you for all your inspiration in my life. <3
Many blessings for your Christmas and your exciting 2015. Love you xxx
So lovely to hear you had a spesh night out. Also so nice to have such a lovely PA as Dana. You’ve got a goodie there ! 2015 is going to be sooooo wonderful !!! xxx <3
Oh Nicole… it felt SO good to read this — I can only imagine how GREAT it felt for you as you actually enjoyed a beautiful day and an enchanted evening. Made me let out a long sigh of relief… and crack a huge smile of gratitude for better days to come. LOVE YOU xox
Glad you, Dana and boys had such a great night out. It’s lovely to read that you are well enough to have this opportunity, and your journey will be so inspirational for those folk who have just commenced their Lyme regime. I remember when you were at the end of your first year of treatment and we cheered you on, well we’re still doing it and look forward to reading about many more of your milestones as time goes by, Nicole. 🙂 Lots of love and hugs, Michelle xox
so pleased for you pair, and well deserved after a year of hard graft!
So happy to read you had a beautiful night out and that Lyme didn’t show up for the celebration.
You are an amazing woman and it makes my heart sing to read your words. Thank you Nicole.
My vision for 2015 is to implement the changes in my life that I have written about for years and to come to your retreat in November. Arohanui xx
I love your optimism, and your writing, and I’m glad you had such a good staff party. Here’s to many good things in 2015, especially better health and renewed energy for all you want to do. xo
So very happy for you! Hurray! Happy Solstice!
Yay you!
I know!!! 🙂 (((HUGS)))