“Wandering is the activity of the child, the passion of the genius; it is the discovery of the self, the discovery of the outside world, and the learning of how the self is both “at one with” and “separate from” the outside world. These discoveries are as fundamental to the soul as “learning to survive” is fundamental to the body. These discoveries are essential to realizing what it means to be human. To wander is to be alive.”
~ Roman Payne
Today I’ll be packing my suitcase. You see, I’m finally well enough to travel. (Fingers crossed, touch wood., etc..)
I’m flying out of Australia tomorrow to attend a conference in the Philippines. It’s my first trip since I was diagnosed with Lyme. It’s also my first solo overseas adventure as an adult. Usually my darling husband Ben is with me, holding my hand, guiding me places, organising everything.
Ben does so much for me, and has done since shortly after we were married. It’s not that I’m a hopeless, helpless creature by nature. Once upon a time I was fiercely independent. But my health has slowly been deteriorating since I was at high school, and for many years my cognitive function and my balance and coordination were so poor that if I didn’t rely on Ben I would never have been able to go anywhere.
I am the Queen of my Domain inside the house, and as long as circumstances are tightly controlled I totally rock within a narrow band of activities. I give the appearance of being high-functioning because I have crafted my life around my limitations.
That hit me last night. Effectively, Ben has been my human guide-dog for all of our twenty years of togetherness.
As my heath deteriorated, so did my confidence. Ben has been able to facilitate the illusion of my independence so capably and unobtrusively that even I had bought into the myth.
I keep reminding myself that I’m much more well now. My brain works. Unless I’m tired or very stressed. My body mostly does too. Still, it’s more scary than I’d realised, contemplating this solo adventure.
And that worrying chest pain, which two years of intensive antibiotics had completely banished, has just recently made a reappearance. That’s okay. I can live with that. I did for years before, didn’t I? See, it sits there quietly now and I’m still functioning and okay. It won’t be a problem. Anyway, I have health insurance and the Philippines has doctors and hospitals.
Our wonderful travel agent has organised for me to fly as far as Singapore, get off and sleep in an airport motel for the night, and then travel on to Cebu the next day. A leisurely trip. Not much to worry about or to exhaust me. I can even access one of those little buggies that takes the old and the afflicted between terminals or across long airport distances. I’m hopeful I can stride out on my own, but I’m not above asking for help if the long flight leaves me so stiff that I can only manage a limpy lurch by the time I disembark. Still, I’ve checked all the details a million times, and worried about it all.
My packing is a little hilarious. I have my laptop, notebooks, pencil case, Year of ME Planner, oracle cards and a few little crystals.And my iPad. And my phone. Yes, I need all of them. And the chargers. And the power adaptor.
I have a quarter of my suitcase devoted to herbs and supplements, medications and first-aid requisites I actually can’t do without.
And then there are the additional issues I might need to consider. Will my neurological incontinence play up? (Thank you, Lyme!) Hmmm. If so, I need to bring incontinence pads and some big-girl pull-ups. (Which induced a worrying amount of God, what if my bladder gives way on the plane? thoughts. The only way to avert disaster is to plan for it and wear something just in case the worst happens. Sigh.) Can you buy adult incontinence products in Cebu? Better pack some, just in case, although I hope I won’t need them.
Will the pain in my legs keep me up at night? Should I pack magnesium gel and some liniment? Yep, I’d better. I haven’t managed more than a night or two without these things in the past three years. Which means I’ll need to pack my essential oils too. Can’t sleep or function some days without them.
Oh. My bag is nearly full, and I haven’t added clothes yet.
Luckily the Philippines is balmy. I won’t need many clothes. Most of what I need can actually be packed in my carry-on luggage. (How ridiculous, right?)
This time tomorrow I shall be taking one last cafe trip with Harry and Ben, before we have cuddles all round and then I am dropped at the airport.
Scary good!
I keep thinking of Helen Keller’s quote – Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
I’m sure I’ll be just fine.
The thinking about the journey is the stress part. When one is actually “journeying”, then all is well. I wish you much fun and great encounters!
Have a fabulous time Nicole. I trust everything goes super well for you.
I hope everything goes to plan but even if it doesn’t we all know that you will handle it!
Reflecting on how you’ve crafted a good life around your limitations. This is true for me too. So inspiring to see the world of traveling opening up for you. So nice to know that things can change! Bon Voyage!
Nicole
Enjoy this journey. Love and hugs and travel safe. You so deserve this😊
You go girl!!!!!
I have an acronym for these… for me it’s a KBA (Karen’s Big Adventure), so perhaps we can call this your “NBA”?
It will be a bit scary but exciting, and at the end of it you will have so much more confidence and see how far you’ve truly come in your recovery.
Much love Nic, wishing you a truly wonderful trip.
~Karen xxx
Fabulous. Take Michelle’s advice, ask for and use the buggy rides. The distance from the terminal to the plane is always longer than thought. Why knacker yourself when you can get a lift. Re clothes, buy there and leave them behind, just bring essentials also (I’m sure you’ve got this sorted too) a letter from your GP with all your medications and requirements.
Have a fantastic trip. Also I’d keep your electronics with you on the plane (another reason to catch the buggy) Safe travels.
PS can you get some of your Lyme meds there?
You’ll be more than fine, you’ll do great. Put on that face, face your fears and have a wonderful time, I’m sure you’ll come back feeling empowered and full of inspiring stories to share. Go girl! 🙂
First I am excited for you about the trip, I would be somewhat nervous about a solo trip.
Next when I travel I have to take a lot of medication with me and my Cpap machine, can’t sleep without it. I also like to take stuff like pain killers, anti diarrhea medication but thankfully I no longer have to pack incontinence products.
How very exciting! I know you will be just fine. 😘
Blissful, love filled, joyous travels <3
You have covered all the bases Nicole, now it’s time to get excited and enjoy! Yay, go you 😀
Oh, and I’d take all the airport buggy rides going, because the aim is to arrive refreshed. You know, you can pretend Mrs Queen has arrived and all that!
Leave the walking of those long airport hallways, with cabin baggage in tow, for the masses.
Now we can’t wait to hear all the exciting details <3
Ain't conferences cum holidays cum adventuring cum new people cum new concepts just wonderful?
I can relate to this so much. Vitamins take a good part of my luggage. I have taken to mixing my essential oils in a little dropper bottle so I don’t have to take so many and they are easily dispensed. Once all the packing is done though – you are on your way and the adventure begins!!
I hope you have the best time and rest and travel at your own pace as much as you can. I am sure you will be compassionate about your needs and allow for them – this can be your best travel friend and it helps you really enjoy the trip. Woohoo – your going on a plane trip !! Have a blast !!
Must admit I always have my laptop and iPad in carry on too…. just in case. Have a wonderful trip. Yes you’ll have a few nervous wees, but you will feel so good that you have accomplished this on your own. xxx
How exciting!! Hope it all goes as well as possible and that you have a fantastic time! Take pix!
Wow- how excitement!!! Wishing you safe and easeful travel, new & rich connections, plenty of rest in between & a body that loves every minute of the adventure. Much love xxx
Ha, ha! I am so backwards. I’d have all my electronics, supplements, medications, etc. in the carry-on. I can always buy new clothes if my bag gets lost, but not a new iPad! Oh, and I must have reading material for the plane. Most of my luggage is always 25% books.
Have a fantastic time! We look forward to hearing all the stories xo
Hello Darling Girl,
I’m probably preaching to the converted, but you ARE checking through all the liquids, not taking them as carry on? Airport security will count them all in your carry on 100ml allowance. Just being a worrywort, me.
Other than that, have a wonderful, safe journey
xxx
Fiona, I actually have this one sorted. Thanks for worrying with me though xx
Have a great trip! I’m sure it will be a wonderful adventure 🙂