“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, “What else could this mean?”
~ Shannon L. Alder
I met with a new doctor yesterday. It was a trial of sorts. I wanted to see if they would become my Lyme Recovery Plan A, or whether I would need to keep moving through my list.
I’ve seen this doctor before. In fact, they gave me my initial diagnosis. Then they told me that Lyme was very controversial, and that they would not be treating me for Lyme. They would treat all my other issues first.
This doctor is expensive, and arrogant, and I wanted a faster result. To give me a diagnosis and then tell me you wouldn’t treat me for it? I chose another course, and a doctor who would treat me for Lyme straight up.
Now, four years later, I am back at this doctor’s door. And I have to tell you, the meeting didn’t go well.
They asked me what I’d been doing. They reviewed my results. They accused me of doctor shopping, because I had left this doctor’s care and gone elsewhere. They paced the room, questioning the decisions of my other doctors, including making statements about the doctors making rookie mistakes and bad calls that a first year medical student might make. These were mostly doctors who have progressed my health, and truly supported and helped me on my journey back to wellness.
It was hard to take.
When I told the doctor what I had been doing with my diet and other methods I was using for myself they said to me sarcastically, ‘Are you a doctor?’ before dismissing me mid-sentence and moving on.
I came out with a bruised ego, a battered sense of self, a handful of scripts and a list of new tests a mile long.
I didn’t like that doctor very much.
There wasn’t exactly any rapport or bedside manner.
As I waited for my husband to come pick me up I began to think that I needed to keep looking. That maybe this wasn’t my answer after all.
Even though so many circumstances had aligned to get me through their door.
I poured my heart out to Ben as he drove me towards the place where I might get my first tests done. If I followed through.
‘I don’t know,’ I said to Ben. ‘I’m beginning to think I should choose another doctor.’
‘Why?’ said my ever-logical husband. ‘This doctor diagnosed you when no-one else knew what was going on. You’re still on some of the treatments they initially gave you, that none of your other doctors were willing to change because your other doctors have been intimidated by this person, and because it seems that this doctor was right in all the calls they made. So this doctor has a big ego, and you don’t think you’re going to be friends? Does that remind you of anyone?’
‘No,’ I said grumpily. In my head I had already dismissed this doctor, and I was now working on my Plan B.
‘What about House?’ Ben said. (For those of you who don’t know, House was a TV show, and the lead character was Dr Gregory House, a genius investigative doctor whose behaviours made him less than endearing to the patients whose lives he saved.)
Ben put his hand on my leg reassuringly as we drove along. ‘Isn’t House a doctor who is arrogant and a pain-in-the-arse and rude and also brilliant? Wouldn’t you prefer to be treated by House and put up with all his shit if it got you better? Who cares if you don’t much like this doctor or if they hurt your feelings? They seem to know what they are doing.’
Wow.
In that brief moment my perspective shifted.
Ben was right.
I decided to stick with it and make this House-like doctor my Plan A.
Hooray for that.
Suddenly the ego and the attitude have become secondary, background issues, instead of my prime concern.
It’s all a matter of perspective.
After all, I didn’t like him to start off with, but in the end, House became one of my favourite characters of all time…
Blessings Nicole. Mmm. Yes House was a good character in a TV show and a nightmare to have worked with . A great Doctor is one who truly listens and responds to their patient and family. One who has such a massive ego as to not only deride his colleagues and his patients is concerning. Should you give him a go as Plan A as Ben encourages is the journey. My daughter Nicole is also on a jaggered path of treatment with lyme and I felt a strong moment of serendipity reading your post as we too are on the plan A and Plan B and Plan C decision process. There is so much money and life changing decisions involved in hanging onto this life of lyme. Basically I am really cranky re the fact that doctors such as this have not united with their treatment pathways for lyme patients in this country and other countries for that matter, so that lyme patients are not used as haphazard guinea pigs. This is your life they are stuffing around with. For those of you in this health battle Australia and the senate enquiry and debate is just too slow for what you need now. Stay in the command seat Nicole. This is yours and Bens life not theirs and they are not always there in your time of need and Dr Clever Pants is to be accessed if in fact he truly assists you. I am sure you will be well guided, and I wish you tons of healing energy to again recover and regain helath. Love Light and Blessings. Jocelyn xxoo
Hmmm my vote is pending. House did a lot of stupid things and was a hairs breadth from killing his patient in every episode. Hopefully now that the doctor has pissed all over to show his dominance he can actually do some work. Sending you the best during this difficult time.
Dearest Nicole,
As we stride on daily, we ll meet really amazing people and a couple of “lousies” as I occasionally call them . I prefer to keep a distance from the latter group but rarely there comes a moment when we have something to achieve, and one such ” lousy” will be the right person / means to an end. It’s hard , really hard to put up with, cos it means taking all that you have to focus on the good in them or the good they can do. But you can do it , you are a brave girl. Lots of love and prayers to your journey ahead.
yes perspective is interesting. I am very pleased your google search for an extra dr for me paid off first go – made a huge and positive difference. still a ways to go but getting there. Not sure my usual dr is in total agreement however he is not against it so that’s good. Let’s hope this one is a House in all aspects
It really sucks when we see doctors like this one, it isn’t easy to continue with them when they make us want to punch them in the face and tell them they are a doctor not God and not to talk to us like we are stupid little children.
How amazing to read your post straight after reading this: http://www.lionsroar.com/gaining-perspective/?goal=0_1988ee44b2-9bd0a423e4-21579877# Obviously there’s a message here for me!
And hooray for you, Nicole. XOXOXO
A high IQ and a high EQ rarely go hand in hand my Love xxoo
oh wow, that’s huge. I want to find that tv show now, too. Yay for you & yay for Ben <3 xx So much love & healy vibes sister
Nicole my heart goes out to you I am crying for you, I remember when my specialist asked me if I was a doctor after i had started to what he said self medicate and said he wouldn’t see me again. I was blessed that I found an alternative that has served me well and like you with my diet. Amazing how our husbands support us and are able to give us a new perspective. Sending you love and healing hugs namaste Suzie xxoo