“Desperation can make a person do surprising things.”
~ Veronica Roth
*This post is a continuation from yesterday’s The Non-Believer and The Amazing Offer
Sunday was a rare crisis-of-faith day for me. I’d slept poorly for days, I was churned with anxiety over a job offer from my old life, and I was wondering if what I did really made a difference in the world. Even more than that, at nearing fifty years of age, I still struggle at times with having a parent who does not accept what I do as a psychic and is not proud of me, but who would be if I went back to the corporate world. (I know… but my job is always to be truthful with you, so there it is. It creates a sucking sadness in me that dulls and roars in turn, and I never quite know what might trigger it. The little girl in me still aches to please.)
Sunday is an unplugged day for me. I have a session with my Planner, I spend time with my husband, and I don’t work at all. I don’t even look at my computer, because that way I can ignore the constant stream of messages and emails, of which a handful are always urgent. If I read one, I’d have to respond. If someone needs me I can’t not.
On Sunday afternoon my phone began to ding as a series of messages came through. I glanced at the screen and saw that they were facebook messages so I ignored them. But they kept coming. I realised that someone was urgently trying to get hold of me. And something in me made me break my Sunday rule. I opened the first message, and then read them all one by one. They were all from the same person.
They were all from the business coach who’d slammed me for being a psychic earlier this year, and who’d then trash-talked me to my friend. The same coach who’d urged me to give up my psychic work and go back to the ‘respectability’ of the corporate sector.
Contact me, his message said.
After six messages, it changed to Contact me urgently.
I knew it wouldn’t be about him reconsidering me as a potential client for his mentoring program. I knew deep in my bones that he had a problem. I could feel the desperation in those three terse words.
I texted him back. How can I help?
A series of photos followed of his tiny daughter. The coach was travelling with his wife and young family, doing public speaking engagements and such. They were away from home and his little girl was ill. Nothing specific. A fever. She was quiet. She didn’t have much appetite. She’d been listless. They’d taken her to a local hospital, and the staff there diagnosed her with a cold. They’d given her something for the fever and sent her home again.
For him to even contact me, given how rude he’d been and how clearly he’d told me he was a non-believer in all things psychic, I knew he was out of options. I was his last resort.
I skyped him.
The coach was awkward, and wouldn’t quite look me in the eye. Did I think there was something wrong with his daughter? Because both he and his wife thought there was something not quite right.
I tuned in.
What I got disturbed me. I could feel infection through her tiny body, building up into a crisis. I knew it had already affected her kidneys. I knew she was not far from going critical.
Put her in the car, I said. Take her back to the hospital, the closest one. Go now. It’s something serious. She needs urgent medical attention. It’s an infection, I said.
He hung up on me.
Forty minutes later he called again. They were at a new hospital and the staff wanted to send them home. His daughter’s fever wasn’t too high. They thought she had a cold or a little viral infection.
Did you tell them she’s had medication for the fever, I said. That’s what’s masking the true situation.
Over the next hour we talked a few more times as the doctors told the man to take his daughter home, after which he’d check in with me and then at my insistence tell them he wanted her to stay. But I could feel his resolve wavering. He was tired. He thought he was over-reacting.
In my mind’s eye I saw it. Something the little girl hadn’t had half an hour before. Show them the rash, I said.
What rash? She doesn’t have a rash! He was belligerent now. Angry with me. Angry that he’d contacted me.
Lift up her shirt, I said. She has tiny purple dots on her tummy and back. Hurry!
I didn’t hear from the coach again for hours. Not til nearly 1am on Monday morning, my time. During that time I’d held his family and his daughter in my prayers, sent her healing energy, and meditated on her soul and on her life. I felt how touch-and-go it was.
This is what the coach told me. They admitted his sick little girl straight away, diagnosing her with meningococcal disease. They gave her life-saving drugs, but she was already in a critical condition when that happened. And it progressed quickly from there. She had now sustained kidney and liver damage, and it looked like she might lose the fingertips of two fingers, and the top joint of a toe on one foot. It might get worse, he said. He was sobbing.
She’s already turned the corner, I told him. You saved her life. I know it looks bad, but she’s going to be okay. I talked to him for over an hour, just supporting him and being there for him. By the time I got off the call I was wrung out.
I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. Instead I meditated and sent them love and healing, and prayed for them. I was grateful that the coach had honoured his own intuition in knowing that there was something wrong, and then in reaching out to me of all people.
On Monday morning I rang the guy trying to recruit me and told him a flatout no. Then Ben took me and Cafe Dog out for breakfast. I told him what had happened with the coach and his baby girl, and what the outcome was.
See, Ben said to me. What you do does matter.
And I knew Ben was right.
The corporate man will find someone else to head up his ridiculous-deadline project now that I’ve declined his offer. Some other person will flog the team senseless and create the things that I won’t do, no matter how well paid I would have been. It doesn’t matter if people like the coach lambast me and put me down. Even if later, they turn to me. There will always be people, within my family and within my community, who judge me for what I do and find me wanting. Who don’t understand me. Or who fear being judged themselves, by virtue of association with me .
I can only be who I am. Who would I be, and what message would I send if I tried to turn my back on this thing that I am? How could I ever support you, and encourage you to claim your own intuitive and psychic ability?
We were made this way for a reason.
It’s hard, sometimes, this road that I walk. But it’s worth it. Just like it will be for you too. Each of us have our own unique natures and gifts. We all matter, and we all have something to offer. All of us must strive to be true to who we came here to be. Or else, why live at all?
The world needs more people like you. You are such a gift to all those you touch. Your mother is proud of you she just does not know how to share it with others. Keep up all the wonderful things you do after your rest. enjoy your holiday. Send light your way amazing women. I hope someday to meet you in person.
Has anyone told you that you are amazing …keep on doing what you’re doing ❤️
Cherryx
Wow…you definitely do matter Nicole. For the awesome work you do and the inspiration you give. Never doubt yourself. Thank you for leading the way for all of us to be our authentic selves. Much love 💜
This gave me goose bumps. I wonder when the (rest of) the world will start realizing that what is of highest value doesn’t always mean the highest wage….that what is unseen is largely more important than what is visible…and that people like you should be cherished and honored and held in the highest esteem…a Medicine Woman. a Seer. My thought is that not only has this man and his family been touched, but there will be far reaching consequences of the very best kind happening. Waking up can be so brutal….
This nearly had me in tears, what an incredibly powerful story. It is so poignant to me at this time as I’m going through something similar. I’ve been a crime writer for a number of years and I’m just completing my first ever young adult book about angels, which includes a lot about my spiritual beliefs. This is a huge deviation from my usual books as well as a massive risk because if my readers don’t like it, it could ruin a good career. I love to write, it’s my passion and I feel so privileged to be able to do it for a living. But I don’t care because I have to do this! Finally I’m doing exactly what I want and I’m revealing exactly who I am to the world. My mother proofreads all my books for me and she has struggled with finding out exactly who I am. It’s come as a huge shock. She feels I’m making a mistake but I know I’m not. This is why I’m here and I’m going to do it!! It feels amazing!! You are so gifted Nicole and you help so many people. Whenever I’m stuck or needing guidance you always manage to post something that helps me. I’m so glad you’ve decided to follow your joy because if you hadn’t the world would be a much darker place. So much love and gratitude to you Nicole <3 xxxxxxxx
Absolutely nothing can buy love, fulfilment and happiness. I’m positive your parent loves you, even if they don’t understand why you do what you do. Most don’t understand psychic work and what you do – you are a very gifted, talented person. If you were my daughter I’d be extremely proud of you. Xxxx
Great story Nicole! It just shows how quickly we can doubt and question ourselves at times. However as you experience the answer to our resistance often shows up in the most unexpected ways. I am waiting for the universe to tell me what to do next in my life. At the moment I am not sure which decision to make. So I will be patient and wait for the answer when the time is right it will be revealed. Your gift is a challenge as you say, but oh so rewarding and YOU definitely makes a huge difference.xx
Oh wow, what a message from the universe that you are on the right track. How wonderful that you could help that man and his family, and perhaps as a result change his opinion of psychic abilities. Your work is of incredible importance.
You are remarkable in many ways, and you have an astonishing ability with the written word. The way you put ideas across in your writing never ceases to amaze me.
I didn’t see that one coming! For the business coach to contact you in desperation after having such a harsh reaction to you previously, I feel he must have had a negative experience or been taught to perceive psychic abilities negatively and that he was simply afraid. For him to even think of contacting you when his daughter was sick is extremely telling…this wasn’t only a lesson for you but a massive one for him to learn.
Hi Nicole,
The psychic gift that you access in service to us all is unique to you. Only you can fill that space for so many of us and it’s not something you can learn in a textbook, display as a certificate on your office wall or tick off as you work you way up a corporate ladder – it is the essence of you.
Please don’t ever doubt that you make a difference. Please keep showing up as your true and authentic self because the world is made all the better because of you.
much love and light
Dearest Nicole,
All who have changed upon your wise words were led by the same Hand that gently walked you down this path. You are not lost, you are closer to home than ever before. Most importantly you are helping a lot many of us who feel lost. Hoping sincerely that our grateful hearts shall give you more strength , to the already strong kind woman that you are.
Sending you love and hugs.
Hi Nicole. Please feel these words in your heart – YOU AND YOUR WORK MATTERS SO VERY MUCH TO ME. I cannot put into words how grateful I am that you have chosen this path and that you make yourself available to us all. You have helped me through the most difficult times in my life over the past decade and have lead me to the most important health diagnosis I have ever had. Because of you I have hope that my life is salvageable after I beat this illness. Very few people had a more positive influence in my life than you. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
Are so much more important….sorry for the typo 🙂
What a perfect ending to your story. You are most needed for what you do in the world. I am sure that man will be eternally grateful to you and sorry that he mistreated you. Keep on doing the good work that you do. Freedom and alignment is so much more important than money! Much love for you, Pamela
Brilliant work Nicole. From your many adoring Cheerleaders on the side who want to say “You are amazing at your work. You are changing/saving lives. We love you and are so grateful to you”.
Nicole, I hope you know how amazing you are. I often frequent your site and the times that I have, I often leave feeling hopeful and loving because of you. It’s been a tough year for me with financial stress and work stress. I’ve become more and more anxious, more than I’ve ever felt before. But, I am often reminded of love, hope, and compassion when gifted with your words. Thank you for being you. Your courage to be you is extremely powerful. Thank you for letting us witness and join in on your journey. <3
Good choice Nicole, not all goals are about money or corporate. I wonder what changes will be ahead in this coach’s life given he had the courage to reach out to you despite his lambasting. Take care and keep up the wonderful work xxxx by the way my health continues to improve, slowly and steadily and i have dumped 6 kg over 5 months without even trying. Still working on the sleep bit but i did have 2 nights in a row where i slept ALL night so it will happen sometime xxxx
Since I “found” you Nicole, your posts on some days writing of your struggles and those of others gives me an inner strength to keep going and also many days of smiles where I personally can find none. We all have self doubt but you are one of the most amazing, caring, intuitive people I have ever been blessed to have contact with. Sad that it took something so serious to turn this guy around from doubt to belief in your gift but how blessed is his little girl that something inside him did make him contact you! Money isn’t everything and although it does/would make life easier I know from this years experience of no employment but time to organize doctors/specialists and be a lifeline on the end of the phone for my daughter who lives in another state, I wouldn’t take a moment of it back. Wishing the little girl a full recovery and sending love and blessings to you both xx
thankyou for sharing , you are truly a Beautiful Lady xo
Don’t EVER doubt yourself Nic. Not EVER. You’re too precious to too many people who believe in you.
I’m so proud to call you my friend. You’ve changed so many lives, including mine. BIG love XOXO
You are able to bring a sense of equilibrium to this crazy world we live in Nicole – thank you for all your sharing, you enable me to step up in my life too. Inspiring lady.
Spelt soul wrong – but you know what I mean.
Um spelled spell wrong
Sorry guys – not a good speller on the best of days – but I am having a foggy brain day so I am even worse than usual. I had a hilarious vision of Nicole tap dancing with her “sole” family.
Previously I would never write anything on blogs for fear of my punctuation, spelling or views being judged – but I know that this is a safe site to just write what I feel and not to over edit it.
I hope you found my spelling mistake funny too.
Lots Of Love – Sue Girl
I got the giggles when I realized my reply had a big mistake too 🙂 guess it’s one of those days!
So funny Kim – Some days are like that.
Namaste Nicole : You are honouring yourself and unlike the doctor that treated you very poorly a month ago – when someone came on their knees in need of help, you were gracious irrespective of your history or view point – now that is beautiful and strong.
My blessings go out to this man – because we all have our fears and blind spots. Many times we would have acted differently had we known better, but the difference with him is that he was willing to learn and that humbles and impresses me too.
Even if your birth mother can not fully understand what you do, your sole family would be rejoicing in your choices.
No wonder you need a holiday!!!!
Thank you for your post. I am humbled by it. You are truly amazing to look past someone’s shortcomings and help them regardless of hiw they treated you. To give unconditional time and love to that person. To save their daughter. Don’t give up. There needs to be people like you to shine their light on the world and inspire.
What a touching post and what amazing soul and abilities you have and how well you have used for the benefits of the people in need! YOUR choice is the right choice for you!
Brought tears to my eyes. I’m so glad that you’ve been reminded of who you are and that you matter. You were given these gifts for a reason. I can only imagine that these gifts come with many challenges too, especially in dealing with others perceptions of you. Don’t forget that ppl can only meet you at the level they’re at.. All you can do is be yourself.
What an amazing soul you are Nicole.Sending healing vibes to coach’s daughter.
You saved a life today – mine. No joke. I know this crisis I am in the midst off isn’t over. But I know if I can keep putting one foot in front of the other in a short while it will resolve. I just need to hang on. I’m sitting in my car. There are bag full of meds on the seat beside me. I am exhausted from getting thru this and not sleeping. I wanted to throw in the towel. I won’t. I hope we meet someday. I’d like to thank you in person
Eileen, I know that place so well. Of being so tired of trying and life being so unrelenting.
Through the miles I am reaching out to you with love and the biggest of hugs. It’s not so much further to go, and I know that you’re beyond tired, but I also know you’ve got this. You’ll get past this.It will be worth it.
Holding you in my prayers and meditations. And I hope we meet one day too. It will be a very huggy happy day. All my love, Nicole xx
Eileen, I too have been where you are. So glad I hung on until the crisis passed. It is so hard when there seems to be no end in sight. You are doing what is necessary, baby steps. Hang in there, Sending you a big hug filled with love.
Lyn xxx <3
I’m glad I waited to read the second instalment before commenting, Nicole.
I’ll requote Wayne Dyer, “You, a person with a vision are like a pebble in a stream, moving ever outward to infinity and impacting all who come into contact with the ripple”.
As Satisha commented yesterday the work you do does change lives, and there is an amazing ripple effect from that which you don’t always get to hear about.
Thank you for taking the road hard-travelled, and for encouraging us and supporting us to be who we came here to be.
May the coach and his family know these blessings too, as his little girl works her way back to good health.
And may the errant parent come to understand that corporate tangibility isn’t the only career path a gal can follow <3 🙂
(((HUGS))) I won’t speak, because… crying xx
Sending you lots of love and hugs back, dear Nicole xxooxx
Reblogged this on ravenhawks' magazine and commented:
This is an amazing post. For me it is a reminder that our inner being will always finds ways to let us know that as long as our choices reflect our true self it is the right one, no matter who else does not respect our choice.