“Live in the moment but just be mindful that you are working towards something.”
~ Eric Zaccone
I know, I know. It’s Sunday. And on Sundays I don’t blog, and I don’t go on the internet and I don’t do any work.
Except that on this particular Sunday I am!
I’m taking some time over a cup of tea to revisit my yearly goals, my One Big Thing and my support focus areas using my Year of ME Planner. I’m thinking about the months ahead, and the plans I had for August, and how I might need to amend them or juggle them around. Plans are what hold me together in rough seas, and right now my sea is rougher than usual.
As you might know, I am scheduled for major surgery on September 5. Seeing I’ve shared such embarrassing issues as vomiting in public places and incontinence here on my blog, I figured I might as well continue in that same spirit of disclosure! I have an old problem that was put on the back-burner a few years ago because my heart was failing and I wasn’t up to surgery at that time. Other health issues became a bigger priority. Most people with chronic lyme disease have similar stories – they have multiple serious health issues over time, rather than just one thing…
Just a few weeks ago (well after my holiday had ended, thank goodness) I was revisited by reminders of this old problem. I suffer from fibroids, benign tumors in and around my uterus which have caused pain and heavy menstrual bleeding for most of my adult life. Three years ago my doctors chose a method of halting those symptoms while we dealt with my heart and my other ongoing issues that were of more pressing priority.
The treatment for my fibroids worked, and the problem slipped to the back of my mind. My doctors and I were hoping that menopause might slow the growths or shrink them and that we could avoid surgery. For the past few years I’ve been symptom-free.
(And before I receive an avalanche of helpful advice about natural cures for fibroids… I have been doing them all for thirty years, and none of them have worked. I’ve also had surgery three times previously. Believe me, I have never wanted to get to this point, and have done everything in my power to reverse this. All those other methods have failed. All of them.)
From my latest scans it is apparent that I now have nearly thirty of these fibroids, including one that is 15cm x 4 cm, and a 20cm x 30cm new growth that is enlarging rapidly, and which has become involved with some of my other organs and internal structures.It will be long and complicated surgery to remove and repair all of these things. The growths in my belly are causing me a lot of pain and discomfort and a small amount of worry.
There. Now you know what’s going on with me.
Anyway, life goes on. It’s Sunday, and Sunday is my planning day. So I am planning. I hope you are, too!
I pulled this week’s oracle card for some guidance, and I thought I’d share it with you so you could see my process. No, I don’t use the little book’s meaning for the card. I let the card speak to my intuition instead.
I love this card. It’s optimistic. It’s hopeful and positive. Here’s the fox, sitting on the egg of all her hopes and dreams and potential. It makes me feel like she is guarding those dreams carefully. That resonates for me. I was drawn to her soft, vulnerable underbelly and her complete dedication to her task. She gives me a sense of strength and direction.
She is also gazing intently through her telescope. A telescope brings certain things into clear focus. What things do I need to focus on right now? Into the future?
The telescope was the key image for me this week. Narrowing my focus. Bringing things into clear perspective. Keeping my eye on the destination and not being distracted by all the bombs going off around me.
Miss Fox is being watched by the moon, and by her unseen loved ones. She feels protected and very loved.
The word OBSERVER reminds me not to get caught up in my head or my emotions. Detachment is a useful skill.
The numbers 4 and 9 are also significant for me this week, although often I pay them no attention at all. 4 speaks to consistent work and steady effort. It’s a number of organisation and systems and attending to plans. 9 is for the completion of cycles. I am taking that as my personal good omen! Both of these numbers give me direction and a lift in my spirits.
I may not be able to barrel forward at my usual rate of knots this week, or in the coming months. That doesn’t matter. I can let slide whatever isn’t important. I can ask for help. I can delegate. I can do what I CAN do, and I will keep my eye on the prize.
Okay, time for me to finish my planning session. How about you? What’s ahead for you in this new week? Where would you benefit from putting your focus between now and the end of this year?
Thank you too, for all of your messages of love and support. It has really buoyed me up.
See you tomorrow.
Big love and hugs, Nicole xx
Hello Nicole, I just got from backpacking at some lovely high mountain granite basin lakes with my husband and read your post. I wanted to tell you that so that you could visualize those lakes and all of their magical clean sparkling loveliness! Also I wanted to point out that I saw the fox is sitting on a rather large egg. Something new is about to hatch from that large egg!!! Something grand for you! Sending huge healing rays of light your way. Love, Pamela <3 <3 <3
Oh Nicole, sending you love light and healing hugs <3 xxooxx I too had some of those little f'ers, internal and external, and although the recovery time is extended because other organs are involved, I look forward to you experiencing a major leap ahead in your overall well-being 🙂
Nicole, blessings to you ❤️ I haven’t been able to plan for the last couple of months – not through any choice really, but because it seems that I am being ‘encouraged’ to let things unfold rather than trying to control everything.this is a little challenging for me 😊. However, I think I can start bringing a bit more structure into my life again now, which I am looking forward to immensely 😊
Sending so much love, healing and angels to you beautiful, strong lady xxxxxxxxx
Nicole
I too had fibroids a number of years ago. An especially large one. I had a hysterectomy and felt so much better afterwards. Sending love and light your way.
Jen
May the love that surrounds you support and give you so much healing energy you wont know what to do with it! I wish you brilliant health.
I rarely blog on Sunday, I am usually too busy to blog on a Sunday but today I have been reading a lot of blogs
Thank you for sharing. Sending you virtual hugs and heaps of love and healing energy.
Get well Nicole, that’s all that is important. Others can wait and work things out for themselves. consider the time out for you is just a new beginning. You have a beautiful family around you let them give you the support you need. rest and get better. Your Energy Doctor …XO
All my prayers and love for you Nicole. May this next step on your path to health be smaller and easier than you think and may you come out the other end happier and stronger. xx
I Hope your surgery works out better than expected. I had my hyster 19 yrs ago and it looked as though my fibroids (external as yours are I presume) were wrapped around my bladder and ureters. Fortunately they just unwrapped and slipped out. Not necessarily what you want to hear about others success. But it can happen so put it out there. I will too for you. Love. Mxx
aaah bugger ! I also had fibroids diagnosed from about your age and went down the natural path until I couldn’t any longer. My husband asked a question of how often I felt well in a month and it was really only 1.5 weeks out of 4, and sometimes less, and it wasn’t until he asked that question that I really thought about, because it had just slowly, slowly gotten worse. I definitely didn’t want surgery but had it and within 4 weeks I felt 1000% better than I had felt in a long, long time – years actually So I’m hearing you on all levels. The biggest of hugs, perfect healing and love from me xxxxx
Hi Darlin’…thanks for sharing what is happening in your body & date of surgery, you are in my prayers and gratitude list each day.
It dawned on me this morning that you being unwell & taking a step back has been like a parent gently nudging me to step forward with confidence and trust, with a deep knowing that I do have ALL I need within myself to make the right choices for me right now in this moment.
I thank you for your guidance and support and wish that the days ahead leading up to your surgery are restful & painless as possible for you. BIG hugs to you, Ben & the doggies….XOXO
Lotsa Love <3 <3
Sending you loads of love Nicole. … thankyou for sharing your journey. … you are such an inspiration to me! That card is perfect xxxx
Oh…. wow! 🙁 Will be thinking of you often Nicole and adding you to my nightly prayers.
Thankyou so much for your interpretation of this card – I’ve drawn it before and it was helpful to have your insights which are also so pertinent to myself.
Get well soon!
They are lovely cards aren’t they? I am really enjoying using them. Thanks for all your kindness. Hugs and love xx
You are an inspiration to me, Nicole, in more ways than one. While I’ll keep you in my thoughts, and continue directing energy toward your health, I, like you, will not focus on those things. Your post today has reminded me of something very important. I just wanted to thank you. Love and light <3
Shannon, long experience has shown me that when the shit is flying you need to keep one eye focused on the stars! Not very poetic but I am sure you know what I mean. Sending all good thoughts your way as you move toward your own dreams. Big love, Nicole xx
LOL Nicole-I like that quote. Maybe I’ll make a meme of it for you and you can put it on your blog as a motto 😉