“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.”
~ Thomas Merton
On Monday I wrote a blog post about the energies of the week ahead. (If you missed it you can catch up here.) It took a lot of effort to do what has usually been easy. I’m still recovering from my recent superbug infection health scare. In fact, after I blogged that I had turned the corner, hooray, and it was all uphill from here, it wasn’t. There have been a few fairly major complications, but I’m in good hands and finally I am slowly improving. SLOWLY. So slowly. I’m home. Resting. Sleeping. Recovering. Any energy I find is quickly spent on such simple things as showers, meal preparation or being upright for an hour.
My poor body is decimated after the ridiculous amounts of oral and IV antibiotics and other treatments I’ve taken in a bid to kick this infection.
It’s been such a worrying time for my family and I.
Unexpectedly, there has also been an avalanche of psychological stuff to process. I mean, things got serious enough before I finally responded to drugs that I actually spent a long sleepless night redrafting my will, writing instructions for my staff, and jotting down all our internet banking passwords and details for Ben in case I kept going downhill and croaked it.
Thanks to my awesome doctor and his wife, and their hard work and worry, things are finally back on track. (I so owe you lunch, with champagne and every good thing, Adam and Jodi <3 )
I’m still here. I keep reminding myself of that. Good friends keep reminding me of that. But I’m so weary of this seemingly endless battle. I’ve been feeling uncharacteristically ground down this time – after all the other health things that have been my journey with chronic late-stage Lyme disease and the complications it brings to everything related to my health.
So as I sat in this place of struggle yesterday my husband returned from our mail box with a big surprise. A virtual explosion of letters! Forty-nine – one for each of my years here on this good earth. Forty-seven cards and notes of encouragement and well wishes. Two letters from new sponsor children who wrote to thank me for helping them, wrapped up with love, prayers and gratitude. In a week that is all about kindness and being of service, kindness found me. I have been love-bombed by dear souls whose messages have truly uplifted me when I needed it most.
Thank you to all of you. There is such wisdom in these letters and cards. You’re my miracle this week. My message of love from the wider Universe. My cheer squad reminding me not to give up. I hear you. Thank you <3
May you all find the grace, love and encouragement you need this week too.
Sending so much love your way,
Nicole <3 xoxo
PS – I have to say that there is a joy and an intimate preciousness to holding a real letter or card in your hand that just cannot be bested by a text or email. Call me old-fashioned. I don’t care!
Dear Nicole, more love from me. We’ve never met but you’ve touched my life and at times when I needed it reading your blogs have given me such deep support. Blessing and healing wishes along with my love bomb…. We need people like you on this planet.
Don’t have an address to send my favorite as well, snail mail but I hold you always in my thoughts for restored health and a full life of joy.
I haven’t made the time to come in here much. My roller coaster is not quite as stressful, but it is.. On your note: I agree, a real live letter is the best thing in the world. Holding words which someone else took the time to craft is a huge uplifting blessing. Sending you my northern lights to help speed your recovery. Being sick all the time is ridiculous and hard on everyone. And it hurts. Gentle hugs and more (I think of you ALL THE TIME!!!).
So much love….hurray !
Wow people are amazing …you are amazing . I hope your health continues upwards . My thoughts and prayers are with you dear Nicole 🙏
Cherryx
I love how Ben picked so many letters up in one go. I am with you – there is nothing that beats a hand written note – NOTHING! Clearly I was not the only one to have leftover stamps before the price change! You mean so much to us I am glad the letters brought some sunlight to your day. x
I don’t like hearing that you are suffering and hope things improve for you sooner or rather than later
Nicole,
Thinking of you during this hard time. Please let us know what we can do to help you. You are always so kind and inspirational to all of us. Sending you love and light in my own little way x
Simone
And here’s another from me. Sooo glad our friendship has reconnected after 30+ years. This is our year, rest recover and return stronger than ever. Much love Anna xxx
Hi Nicole. I can’t believe how much pain you have endured. I was in tears reading your post. Keep fighting, you can only get better from now. Best wishes, Rita