Last One Standing

“Each young person is a poet of sorts, trying to sort out the poetics of their inner life and its relation to the great world around it. Each elder is a philosopher of sorts, trying to sort out the meanings and gleanings of a life as well as the necessary implications of the presence of death.” 
Michael Meade

Many years ago, when I was in my mid-twenties, I hosted a channelling evening at my house. My sister was there, and an Aboriginal friend of ours, her mum and another Aboriginal woman who was a school teacher, and another friend who was staying with us at the time. Me, Simone, Vynette, Leanna, Liz, Tara. Six women of varying ages, sitting in circle on our lounge room floor.

I was nervous because it was one of the first times I had channelled in public, even though they were my friends. But they were very supportive, and so I closed my eyes, settled into meditation and began…

Afterwards we shared cups of tea and a lovely supper spread around my kitchen table. Leanna always brought enough food to feed an army. It’s those Aboriginal values around family and food and love. And of course I am a country girl at heart who always has well-stocked biscuit and cake tins in case visitors arrive.

I never thought anything more of that night until months later. On a crackling international phone line a woman spoke to me from America. Unbeknownst to me Leanna had taped my channelling session and posted it to a friend. Who had shared it with another friend. Finally it had arrived at this woman’s house, a farmhouse in the mid-west, and now she was inviting me to join her group of Elders.

I was the youngest by thirty-three years.

We met by teleconference, and also in meditation. We even shared emails. It became a very important group to me, one I learned much from, and one where we did regular energetic work together for the world. Just a bunch of old people at home, working magic. I was very ill back then so I had the life of an old person too. I fit right in.

In the early hours of this morning I spoke with the last member of the group. There had been twenty-eight of us, but slowly our numbers have dwindled. Last Thursday Kaya died in her sleep. Then there was only two. I spoke with Connie this morning. She is blind now, and going into care. She has cancer too and this part of the road will be short. She is done.

I am the last one standing.

I had a little cry. A big one actually. And then I rallied. It’s my turn now. My turn to repopulate the group. This is how it always is. I was young once, and now I am aging. I have wisdom and teachings of my own to share, and I am the custodian of more that have been shared with me.

That’s the cycle of life, and I am ready.

I’ll keep you posted. Much love, Nicole  xx

 

15 thoughts on “Last One Standing

  1. Thank you, Nicole, for this post. I always enjoy your posts hugely but this one really spoke to me. I am in the Crone phase of my life and recently moved to a small town from a large city where I ran a meditation circle. This inspired me to restart a meditation group in the new town I now call home. Bright Blessings to you … you are such a beautiful & special soul. You can have no idea how very much I enjoy your posts & also how very much they constantly inspire me. Keep on rocking. I have offered up prayers for you & your health. Hope you are much better these days. Thank you for being both magical and ordinary at the same time … it’s a gift to be both simultaneously. Namaste xx

  2. So sorry for your loss of such empowering women in your life. We know how it feels to be the last one standing, as I also lost the circle of gifted elders from this world….We keep moving forward because we know our purpose isn’t complete…Blessings to you, as you journey forth, in Love and Light always!

  3. Ohhhh Nicole 🌀💕 I feel a deep sadness of loss and love and friendships that cross all timelines in your words today. After I felt the sadness a little spark of light flickered in my heart for the new for you already know that you are the matriarch of a new and emerging group of people that will continue what the group started in such numbers that you never imagined 🙏 take care my friend xoxxo

  4. “In order to embrace the creation of life, you must be able to live with the knowledge of death. This is the heart of what it is to fully be a human being. It is viewing life as cyclical rather than linear.” From the book “Women Rose Rooted”.

  5. And what an incredible custodian you are. My heart goes out to you being the last one standing. Sending love xoxoxo

  6. Nicole what a bittersweet moment you share. I love your strength to know it’s your time to take the helm. You are a wise woman with much to share, on many levels. I trust you enjoy this next phase in your journey.

  7. Thank You for sharing your love ,caring and strength. Guess its time for more of us to step up to the challenges.XXX

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