“From what I’ve seen, it isn’t so much the act of asking that paralyzes us–it’s what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one. It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another.”
Amanda Palmer
Hey, Lovelies.
How’s your week going?
This month supports everything to do with relationships, including your relationship with yourself, and a big part of a healthy and intuitive relationship with yourself is being able to identify your needs and then to take action to make sure they are met.
This can be especially hard for empaths, intuitives and highly sensitive souls, because we are naturally wired to be aware of the needs of others, and to help wherever we can. In helping others we often forget to take care of ourselves. Often, it also makes us pleasers – where we put the happiness of others before our own, because we think that’s what love is.
Let’s get that sorted, shall we?
Step One
Tune in to yourself right now. How are you feeling? How much energy do you have? What are you worried about? What are you excited or curious about?
Step Two
What do you need? Are you hungry, thirsty, tired, overwhelmed? Do you have a project that just isn’t getting done? Is there something you said yes to, but in your heart it was always a no? Is there something you said no to, but your heart is secretly longing to say yes?
Step Three
What do you need to do to meet that need? Is it something you can do for yourself? Do you need to stop doing something? Do you need to start doing something? Do you need to ask for help? Do you need to schedule time for this thing, or consult an expert?
Step Four
Go ahead and speak your truth. Ask for help. Say yes. Say no. Make time. Set boundaries. Do the thing. Don’t do the thing. You know what you need. Honour that with your actions, not just your thoughts.
Why Do You Need To Do This For Yourself?
No-one else is responsible for your happiness. No-one is coming to save you, or to sort you out. This isn’t a test to see how much someone truly loves you, because if they loved you they would just KNOW what you need. (Please, don’t ever do that – that’s just screwed up thinking!) This is your job. You already have practice in helping others, encouraging them, guiding them or meeting their needs. So, you know how it’s done.
This week is the perfect time to start owning your needs and meeting them for yourself.
If not now, when?
If not you, who?
It’s time. By looking after yourself and your needs you can become more authentically yourself, more empowered, happier, stronger and more resilient. You become a better version of yourself.
I’m cheering you on.
Biggest hugs and love, Nicole xx
Thanks for a great post