It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.
Paulo Coelho
Hey, Lovelies.
Once upon a time I used to think that in order to heal something that had caused me great pain I needed to open that old wound and get to the bottom of my injury, I needed therapy, I needed self-examination, I needed to understand why this had happened, and what it all meant. Or else, how could I let it go?
I used to think that.
And I used to think that people who closed the door on the past, who stepped away from a trauma, who did not want to keep talking about it, rehashing it, or seeking help for it, were denying themselves the opportunity to heal.
I don’t think that anymore.
I have come to see that, for some people, and even for myself at times, it is a valid healing path to simply close the door on a relationship, or a chapter in your life, or an unhappy aspect of your past, and lock that door, and then leave it be.
My wonderful guide Rollo often reminds me that ‘dragging the stinking carcass of yesterday into today will stink up tomorrow too’. Inelegant, I know. But he’s right. How many times do we tie ourselves to trauma and the painful past because all we do is revisit it, which stops us creating a present or a future untainted by that old unhappiness.
Sometimes we DO need help, and self-examination, in order to learn, heal and move on. I’m all for that, if that brings true healing. But sometimes we need to be brave enough to shut the door on that part of our past, keep moving forward, and don’t look back.
This week’s energies are so supportive of healing. As you lean in to that, ask yourself if there is anything you can shut the door on – then close that door firmly, and walk away. Free.
All my love, Nicole xx
Greetings Nicole ~ hope this finds you well? Thank you for the above post … I’ve just done that to a manipulative & controlling parent. Wish I’d it years ago … would’ve saved myself a whole heap of emotional trauma. Sometimes, I think parents are just there to birth us & not necessarily to always learn lessons from. If there was a lesson connected to my mother, it was to not be like her.
Bright Blessings to you and stay safe 🙂
Sue
I’ve been incredibly busy the last week with selling and packing up much of my mom’s house. I haven’t been online except to post sales.
Today, I signed the paperwork to put the home of my teen years on the market and I sold the kayak, one of the few things that brought me incredible peace while caring for mom. I’m still angry at her, I don’t understand her, I need to close this door and if I return to AK, it will not be to this place. Reading this particular post…thank you. Once more, you nailed the heart ring for my life with your words. Bless you.
Wonderful message. So en pointe for me. Thank you Nicole. Love that analogy BTW. Good one Rollo! lol
Thank you Nicole. Wise advice from you and Rollo. Don’t waste your brain space. Sometimes there is no apparent reason or explanation for happenings, It simply just is. At those times I give it over to my angels to handle and trust it will be well. Thank you Rollo. No, I do not need to drag around that stinking carcass !!
Beautifully said Nicole. A kinder form of self-forgiveness rather than continually scratching the wound and hoping it will heal.
My “stinking carcass” was a family member who I had “managed” for years because of her controlling, manipulative and demanding behaviour. I called time. She dropped me like a hot stone once I was no longer maleable and useful. Best thing ever! That door firmly closed and sealed.
Thank you Nicole – beautifully said. A kind form of self-forgiveness instead of continually scratching the wound…