“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” ~ Tia Walker
We have an elderly family member in
She has dementia. Everything is more confusing, more confronting in this space. Each time we visit she is surly to start with. Emotional. Sometimes there are tears. Sometimes there are sharp words. We don’t take it personally. It’s just the time of day. Her mood is always worse at nightfall and in the evenings, but that’s just part of this awful disease.
We’ve learned to ignore those displays of hostility and to keep being loving and kind. We reassure
I have learned that there is nothing like
I have learned that she may not eat because the food is too hard to see, or she doesn’t know what it is or how to open it, or it’s too hard to cut up, or she can’t get the drinking straw or juice cup to her mouth. So an uneaten meal may not mean she’s not hungry but that she simply needs help to eat. I have learned to feed her like you’d feed a child. She opens her mouth like a little bird and I pop morsels of food in, and she smiles at me and makes me promise not to tell people I am feeding her when she could really do it herself. We pretend that is true and I keep feeding her until the food is gone or she is satisfied.
Every visit becomes a blessing. Something that soothes and restores something in me as much as it calms and reassures something in her. Once upon a
Sending much love to you, especially all of the carers and those who are looking after elders, Nicole ❤ xx