“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” ~ Tia Walker
We have an elderly family member in
She has dementia. Everything is more confusing, more confronting in this space. Each time we visit she is surly to start with. Emotional. Sometimes there are tears. Sometimes there are sharp words. We don’t take it personally. It’s just the time of day. Her mood is always worse at nightfall and in the evenings, but that’s just part of this awful disease.
We’ve learned to ignore those displays of hostility and to keep being loving and kind. We reassure
I have learned that there is nothing like
I have learned that she may not eat because the food is too hard to see, or she doesn’t know what it is or how to open it, or it’s too hard to cut up, or she can’t get the drinking straw or juice cup to her mouth. So an uneaten meal may not mean she’s not hungry but that she simply needs help to eat. I have learned to feed her like you’d feed a child. She opens her mouth like a little bird and I pop morsels of food in, and she smiles at me and makes me promise not to tell people I am feeding her when she could really do it herself. We pretend that is true and I keep feeding her until the food is gone or she is satisfied.
Every visit becomes a blessing. Something that soothes and restores something in me as much as it calms and reassures something in her. Once upon a
Sending much love to you, especially all of the carers and those who are looking after elders, Nicole ❤ xx
11 thoughts on “Holding Hands Because It Matters”
Taking care of mum for the two plus years was both rewarding an insanely difficult. I’m glad I did it, but the holding I remember most wasn’t mum. I did much of that caregiving completely alone. After she died in the hospital, I left. Stunned because is I wasn’t needed again. A friend followed me and when I stopped to cry at my favorite rest stop, I was held. I’ll never forget that…
Keep these moments close, remember, and don’t go it alone. 💕💕
What a blessing to have had that friend there for you right when you needed it!
Oh I hear you NIcole…..sending you and Ben much love to keep you supported during this precious time. xoxoxo Joey
So poigant & beautiful expression of human love ,care & compassion…sending love & light for your family Nicole
Thank you so much for the intimate glimpse into your life. He’s hoping you and Ben are feeling better. Lots of love to you!
This post made me think of my nan who I miss so much, she had to be fed because she didn’t remember how to feed herself also
Sending you support and love during this time. A journey many of us cN relate too. Blessings.
Just beautiful…your kindness and mercy. Thank you for writing about it Nicole.
This brought back such heart wrenching memories. But you’re right the power of touch is perhaps the strongest of all when it comes to expressing love. 💜
Thinking of you. Just being with someone is so important. My dad died 13 years ago and I’m so happy I got to spend 8 weeks with him just going to appointments, sitting for hours in waiting rooms, being with him as he got bad news repeatedly and yet was brave and told me he’d lived a wonderful life. Then I had to fly back to Australia. I treasure the time we shared and the ordinary spaces that opened into quiet depths. Xxx
The healing touch of Love, Kindness, Compassion and more LOVE. It is a hard road travelling this with our loved ones, but I keep reminding myself how fortunate I am to have this time to say goodbye…and especially while they remember us. I’m off to see my Mumma who has dememtia this coming saturday and I am SO looking forward to holding her & kissing her & telling her how much I LOVE her. Blessings upon Blessings to you ALL