Dear Discouraged Lightworker, Failed Healer, Broken Creative… A Letter of Encouragement

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.”
~ David G. Allen

 

The year is young, and still fresh with the scent of hope and possibility.

Despite this, or perhaps because of it, my inbox is filled with the sad, agonised and even defeated messages of those who have laboured long towards their dream and who have never been able to achieve it. These are dreams they also can’t walk away from. Inside them is a vision – an idea that calls them to action. An idea that has transfixed them, and which holds some kind of mystical spell over them so that they are unable to give up the vision and move to something else. (Please note – I am talking about callings here, not love affairs!)

Writers who write one genre to mixed success while holding a story in their heart that they are sure is unmarketable and that could destroy an otherwise adequate career. Healers who have been beset by all manner of health problems themselves. Coaches and counsellors whose own lives have been messy or impossible. Lightworkers whose relationships or finances or personal circumstances are in tatters. People needing to work day jobs which suck the life out of them and leave them with no time or energy to go work on their own project.

All of which has prevented them from realising the dream in their heart.

People working with my Year of ME Planner who are trying to define their One Big Thing for the year (or perhaps for their lives) have contacted me, not because they can’t work out what the One Big Thing might be, but because they are fearful that they won’t be able to deliver on the promise. They’ve already decided long ago. The vision is there. But so is this history of failure, limited success, or inability to even properly start.

So I wanted to write you this letter of encouragement, and ask you, please, not to give up!

I have been where you are. Yes, I have. And I speak from my heart to yours, hoping that you will truly hear me.
You see, you’ve been let down so many times. You’ve had this vision. You’ve had this One Big Thing dream for so long. And at the same time you haven’t done it. Life got in the way. Illness got in the way. Lack of money and support and being in survival mode with no energy to devote to your dream got in the way. Body not working got in the way. Brain not working got in the way. People who really needed you, or who took everything you had got in the way. Yet the dream remained.

Once, in your long-ago lives, you were someone who GOT THINGS DONE. Who overcame obstacles and met deadlines and was reliable. In that life it seemed entirely feasible that you could easily and passionately get your One Big Thing done. Then little by little it all fell away, and on your good days you’d make plans, only to have them dashed as the next day came and you couldn’t keep up with the things you’d organised for yourself. Feelings of failure crept in. You began not to trust yourself. You began not to trust the Universe.

Why would you be given a dream that burned such a blaze inside you, only to be cruelly thwarted and left unfulfilled, with the dream out in front of you as a reminder of all of that failure. Right?
I get it. I’ve lived it.

And I have a new paradigm for you. But it requires a BIG shift of your current thinking.

You see, what if it’s actually not a failure? What if it’s about timing?

What if it’s about truly KNOWING struggle, so that you can speak to that energy in others (as I am speaking to that energy within you right now, having also lived it).

What if the world wasn’t ready for what you had to share if you’d delivered any earlier?

What if it just wasn’t your time before now?

So many people like you and me have been held back in our progress because it wasn’t our time to peak in the old energies. We’re part of the pointy end of change and healing and expansion in this new post-2012 energetic era.

What if it all happened because your soul and the Universe contrived all manner of stuff to get you into a space of right timing for the sharing of your talents and gifts?

Let go of blame and shame and concepts of loss and punishment. That’s so old energy – and you, my lovelies, are here to work with the NEW. You’re healing. Things are changing. Now is your time. Start small. Expect delays as you regroup and regather and open to new ideas and energies. Open your arms to it all and trust. Know that you will still make forward progress. Know that your One BIg Thing may come to look completely different to the picture you have held in your head. Know that this is okay. You are here in response to the new energies, and these new energies are co-creative. Get it? You don’t have to do it all on your own. You don’t need to be in struggle and isolation anymore, and it WILL get easier. It is already getting easier.

Make peace with yourself and the Universe and your One Big Thing. It’s not too late. In fact, the timing is just right. Take a nap. Find some gratitude for good stuff to level up your vibration. Start bravely or not bravely in one little corner and trust in miracles and magic and synchronicity and amazing happenings BECAUSE THAT IS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN NOW. Not the echoes of the old world that are bouncing around in your head, causing you so much pain.

You’ve got this. We’re here for you. We love you. You were born for this. Onwards, one limpy little step, nap and cup of tea at a time. Soon enough you’ll be flying. I know it!

Much love, Nicole xoxo

Your Strength as a Wounded Healer

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
~ Rumi

 

Have you ever wondered why stuff happens to you? Why you’ve had to suffer, and endure the things you’ve gone through?

I have no good answers for the WHY, but I do have some advice based on having suffered and endured on my own journey.

Don’t let that suffering be wasted. Don’t waste it on vengeance or anger or being stuck as a victim. Don’t get stuck in your story. Don’t become the object of suffering and the receptacle for pain.

You have a choice. And whenever you have choice, power, in that moment, resides in you and that power to choose.

So, this is my advice, based on my own pain and suffering…

Use your wounds to grow. Use your path of suffering and pain as a force to transform you. Make your suffering MEAN something. Take everything that you are, everything that you have, everything you have endured and work that suffering and pain into wisdom.

After that, the road will fork.

Image from JackeyBackman.com

Image from JackeyBackman.com

You can take the first road. That road allows you to take your inner wisdom and strength as a shining light and courage within you that helps propel you forward in the world. No-one else might ever learn of the suffering that transformed you, but in that place of transformation you will strive and thrive and become a success at whatever calls you BECAUSE of that guiding energy and force within you. You’ll know that you can rely on yourself, you’ll know that you can all on that strength. You’ll trust your resilience and your ability to endure and overcome. That suffering will no longer define you – instead, in a strange way, it will have liberated you.

For some of you, though, you’ll feel the calling of that second road.

That’s the Path of the Healer.

Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Your feet will be shuffling onto that path, cautiously walking that path, that heart-drawn path, and you’ll be so very aware of the suffering and the brokenness that has happened in your life. I know, you’ll be looking back over your shoulder and thinking ‘What right do I have to be here? I’m wounded.’ And then you’ll think that maybe you should turn around and go back…

My friend, I just want to embrace you. I want to cheer you on. I want to sit down beside you, offer you a deep refreshing drink from my water bottle and whisper something in your ear.

Image from Rebel Thriver

Image from Rebel Thriver

There’s a secret power in being a wounded healer. You’ll be able to identify those who are ready to invite the light into their wounds. You’ll be able to hear their pain. Feel their anguish. Identify with them, as both and equal and a teacher. And most importantly, you’ll be able to help them to step out of that dance they do with their pain and into a place of using that pain for transformation.

You’ll be able to look them in the eye and say ‘I know you. I see you. I understand you. Because I have my own wound. We walk this path together.’

Wounds can heal. The scars they leave behind make us stronger. They are a tangible reminder that none of us are perfect, and that life is a hard road, with many obstacles which we shall seek to overcome.

That you are further along the path, still upright, wiser… well, that gives hope to others. Your compassion and understanding, having walked that difficult road yourself, becomes a powerful force for helping others to transform.

Please, if you’ve held yourself back BECAUSE of your wounding, your scars, your history, your imperfections, I ask you to reconsider.

Let me share with you the story of two of my clients who were weight-loss coaches. One of them was a young girl who’d excelled at everything she’d ever tried. She was an exercise physiologist and nutritionalist, an elite athlete, and a stunning beauty. The other was a middle-aged overweight housewife. Who had once been morbidly obese. Who was still holding a few pounds. And who, bless her, had little fashion sense.

One of them is still an outstandingly successful weight-loss coach.

The woman who was once morbidly obese, who has lost over half her body weight and maintained that loss, is now successfully leading many other men and women with life-long weight issues back to a place of health and balance. She can look you in the eye and know that you are binge-eating frozen cheesecake through your tears in the dead of night. She knows the shame, the anguish, the self-loathing, the total lack of self-worth. She’s been there. She’s walked that path and she still walks that path. She knows that path well, and she’s learning more all the time. And you’ll trust her because of that. She truly has your back because she IS you, in a way.

The young elite athlete? She changed her focus and now she rehabs injured athletes and corporate-type individuals with a burning need to succeed and with strong competitive instincts. She trains winners. She trains go-getters. Because that is who she is, and the mindset and values with whom she most relates. She knows what it is to push herself, to feel completely driven, to give herself to her goals one hundred percent. She knows what it is to be eaten up by self-induced stress. To get completely out of balance and to burn out or injure yourself through over-training. To have no social or family life because your world has become too narrow. Or that you need that narrowness in order to reach a goal, and for some people, that the goal is what matters. She also knows how it important it is to be sustainable, after having been so unsustainable herself. She knows the beauty and the thrill of that control and that desire to win. She’s incredibly successful now, and so are her clients. She’s getting incredible results.

Both of them are.

And both of them are wounded healers, walking their talk and sharing their passion, their wisdom and their light.

Healers come in all forms. Yes, there are traditional healers. Doctors, naturopaths, counsellors, nurses, massage therapists – the list goes on. But healers are also teachers. They are mothers, fathers, writers, cab drivers, hairdressers, tax accountants, musicians, waitresses, gardeners. They share their compassion, their advice, their support, their wisdom and their lessons in so many, many ways.

Don’t tell me that you’re somehow LESS because you are imperfect.

Tell me how you can help others be MORE because of your imperfection and the knowledge that has been gained on your journey.

Your wounding is what makes you whole. It’s what makes you beautiful and precious and valuable. It’s what makes you real.

I have faith in you.

Go do this, if it’s calling you. We need more big, open scarred-up hearts, souls and minds in the world. It’s time.