Living my Sacred Promise

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“You protect your being when you love yourself better. That’s the secret.”
~ Isabelle Adjani

It’s the final day of Retreat, and I’m profoundly grateful that my body has held up for the duration. Just at dinner last night my Lymey eye began to pulse and pain, and I ended up running our after-dinner channelling session wearing my trusty pirate eye patch. It has been the only misbehaving my body has done in seven days. I’ll be back on all my Lyme drugs by the day’s end but I’ve enjoyed the respite, the opportunity to feel almost normal and to live for a week without fistfuls of tablets and their not-so-splendid side effects.

I’m tired this morning. Everything’s a little bit sore. So I’m taking things slowly. But it’s all okay. We’re up to that lovely good-bye bit of final messages, praying the meditation malas we made on retreat, sharing and caring, deeply connecting and remembering ourselves, our space and our sacred sisterhood. What a beautiful week of growth, support and nurture it has been.

And tomorrow I shall give myself the day off from blogging so that I can sleep in as long as I like. In fact, I may end up taking the entire weekend for some down-time, nap time and recovery time. I’d like to be truly present with my husband, be present with my dogs and sit quietly at the farm, or at the beach. I’m looking forward to the weekend papers and a good coffee at one of our favourite cafes. And did I say sleep yet?

I made a sacred promise – to love myself and treat myself well in 2014, starting now. So I am. How about you?

Big hugs, kisses and love, Nicole  ♥ ♥ ♥

pink-pom-pom

Inviting Stillness…

'Stillness' by Aijung Kim

‘Stillness’ by Aijung Kim

“When I dance, I dance, when I sleep, I sleep; yes, and when I walk in a beautiful orchard , if my thoughts drift too far off matters for some part of the time, for some other part I led them back again to the walk, the orchard, the sweetness of this solitude, to myself.”

Montaigne

How often do you invite stillness into your life?

Here I am, finally at home at my little farm, tucked up safely in bed, waiting to feel better. And as I wait, I am reacquainting myself with stillness.

I am finding it hard to read.  My mind wanders and I lose the thread of each string of words and have to start over again.

The glare of the computer tires my eyes.

I have no concentration for games. Conversation’s a bother. I might be awake but my brain may or may not engage.

Frustration.  Fatigue. Overwhelm. At times, panic.

For days, as I’ve been in the city, I’ve struggled with feelings of uselessness.

But now I am home. Yesterday I spent most of my time gazing out the window. But instead of uselessness a sense of stillness came over me.

Here, just at my window, bloomed a pretty bush…

2013-01-24 16.33.54And further across, in the camellia tree, a tiny bird’s nest…

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All around me life went on.  My heart was beating.  Breath filled my chest. I was not my pain.  I was not my thoughts. I was not my body. I noted the texture of the sheets and covers, the grain of the old hand-cut cedar walls of my bedroom, the softness of the pillows and mattress. Nature at my doorstep. I kept on breathing.  My heart kept beating.

My mind emptied out its chatter and slowly I left my head and emerged into the world.  Free of thoughts, the images around me running through my mind like water but not catching hold, I found the deepest peace.

No agenda.  No to-do list. No project to work on. No thinking at all.

It reminded me of some of my most profound meditations, and I had done nothing at all except surrender to the moment.

There’s a lot to be said for inviting moments of stillness into your life.  Stillness expands time. Stillness restores and nourishes. Stillness lets you sit in your Soul, instead of in your head.

It’s easier than you think. Take a moment, find a quiet corner of the world, sit down and breathe, and just let the world carry on around you. Be aware, but not involved.  Let your mind relax and let go.  Breathe. Relax. Be.

Wishing you stillness today, and peace in your heart.  Bless ♥ xx

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When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.

Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness. This is the I Am that is deeper than name and form. ~ Eckhart Tolle

Who Doesn’t Love a Road Trip?

“Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe.”

~ Anatole France

By the time you read this I’ll be out on the road.  Me, my husband, our trusty old ute…  Who doesn’t love a road trip?

This trip is timely for me after a big few weeks of life at its most unrelenting.

First an unexpected illness -reminding me of my vulnerability, then my Nana’s slow march towards the end of her days, my spiritual retreat and all of my students to look after, a birthday, family stuff, other people’s stuff, a business to run, a farm to run, a weekend workshop intensive with some of my business mentors, and out of the blue the death of an old friend who took her own life after a long battle with depression.

Breathe in, breathe out.  Life.  Wow, what a ride!

So, a road trip for me…

 

Just a few days of wandering along country roads, smelling the fresh air, standing on the earth and reconnecting with myself and my beloved man.

Along the way we’ll pick up my windmill, which Ben gave me as a birthday gift, and which is still sitting on someone else’s farm. Along the way I’ll gather myself back together.  Along the way I’ll say goodbye to my friend.  Along the way I’ll find life’s rhythm again.

Who doesn’t love a road trip? Time for talking, and for just watching the world slide by. Little towns to explore, new bakeries to try, treasures to find, adventures to be had.

And something else.  No office phone.  No internet.  No desk calling me to sit down and catch up on all my work (and trust me, I am WAY behind…). Time for me. Heart-healingly spacious time for breathing and feeling and just BEing in the moment.

If my iphone works, I’ll blog you an update. Otherwise you’ll just have to settle for me toasting your good health at the local pub.  Bless ♥ xx