Grown-Ups Get To Choose!

“We are always told that anyone over the age of eighteen should know what they are doing. The fact is, they don’t.” 
~ Rae Earl

One of the most important lessons I ever learned in life came from a trip to the corner store at the end of the street.

I was cooking dinner and realised I had run out of potatoes. Ben walked with me for the company and busied himself at the front counter while I rifled through the potato bin. He bought himself a bag of mixed lollies (candies), all counted out into a striped paper bag.

I paid for my two potatoes and then reached out for a sweet. ‘Hey,’ said Ben pulling the packet out of reach. ‘These are mine. If you want some, get your own!’ He was joking, but it made me realise something.

Lollies? I never bought lollies. I hadn’t bought a bag of sweets like that since I was a kid and my pa would give me fifty cents to buy some in the holidays. ‘Okay, I will!’ I said defiantly. It was wonderful to choose them, and on the way home I felt like a kid as I let myself eat a couple right before dinner – something my mum would never have allowed. By the time we got in the front door Ben’s bag was empty. I told him off for ruining his dinner.

‘Nic,’ he said, ‘I’m a grown-up. I can do what I want. I would have eaten them all before dinner or after dinner, but I ate them now because I felt like them and they were delicious. That’s the thing about being an adult. You get to choose.’

It might sound weird but that was a revelation for me. I’d grown up in a strict household, and I carried that strictness and all of those rules into my own independent life. But now there was no-one to tell me what to do. I could do what I wanted. I was an adult. I didn’t even have to eat my dinner if I didn’t want to. I could just eat my bag of lollies.

That freedom of being able to eat breakfast cereal for dinner, to not make your bed or to stay in pyjamas all day can be an awesome thing. But so often we only use that freedom adulthood bestows upon us to make childish or insignificant choices. The rest of the time we let life happen to us, or we make a choice once and think we can no longer make another. These July energies support change and I want you to understand that as an adult there are many other things you can use this superpower of choice on.

You can choose to give up smoking. You can choose to get a better job. You can choose to stay and work on a marriage with problems. You can choose to leave a bad relationship. You can choose to sell everything up and travel the world. If you’re stuck, if you’re unhappy, if something’s not working YOU CAN CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD.

What will you choose in July?

Much love, Nicole xx

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Why are you following this path?

Image by Wallsheer

Image by Wallsheer

“You’ve got this life and while you’ve got it, you’d better kiss like you only have one moment, try to hold someone’s hand like you will never get another chance to, look into people’s eyes like they’re the last you’ll ever see, watch someone sleeping like there’s no time left, jump if you feel like jumping, run if you feel like running, play music in your head when there is none, and eat cake like it’s the only one left in the world!”
~ C. JoyBell C.


Why are you doing this thing?


Are you interested in this path? Did you choose it for yourself?

Life is short, and there are many roads that might take us where we want to go. Is that path you’re on working for you? Are you enjoying the journey, or at least satisfied with the end destination?

It doesn’t matter what path you choose, only that the choice satisfies something within you. If it doesn’t, it is perfectly fine to choose another path, and I encourage you to do so, even though change can be scary and confronting.

What sense is there in choosing boredom, mediocrity or misery if there are other alternatives? You came here to LIVE this life. It’s always going to be an adventure into the unknown.

I know that for some of you the path is hard right now.

Take a moment and tune in with your inner wisdom.

Why are you here?

Why are you doing the hard yards while everyone else is out having fun, why are you standing by this relationship, sticking to this brutal regime, writing this book, looking for a better way, putting together your website, slogging it out through University, spending all your free time painting, working out, clocking massive hours at your job, adding to your portfolio, turning up each day?

If you don’t know the answer to that, it’s time to re-evaluate your life!

If you have an answer and it’s a big enough WHY then I know you will get through it.

There is nothing like love, a dream or a deep-seated core belief to keep us going, and to give our feet the energy to keep walking that path, even when we have nothing left in the tank.

Image from Beyond Rubies

Image from Beyond Rubies

What if you are walking this path for ‘success’? To be a ‘winner’ in your field, to have fame and fortune.

Those are reasons that sit outside yourself, rather than in the marrow of your being.

Please, don’t tell me you are only in it for the money.

Please, don’t tell me it’s because you want to be on Oprah, to get your five minutes of fame, to be the next big thing.

Fame and fortune can be fleeting. And there’s no guarantee they’ll make you happy. We tend to take our problems where-ever we go…

If your motivator is a vague catch-all of mega yachts, mega millions and other intangible things, that vision won’t fuel you when the going gets hard.

And the going always gets hard at some point.

Image from BRW

Image from BRW

This is YOUR life.

If you want to meander along a gentle path of home, family, a day job and truly meaningful days off, then live that path with joy.

If you’re happy with your life, stay on the path you’re on.

If your vision is fame and fortune for no real reason, and as a result of no deep-seated passion then you need to choose a better path or a bigger WHY.

But if you’re one of those people who has a burning desire within you, a compulsion to do something and keep doing it, a need to serve others, a vision you can’t let go of, a drive to make yourself over, an inspired dream, a sense of destiny then put energy into that.

Here’s the truth of the matter:

You’ll never set the world on fire if your heart’s not in it.

The converse of that is this – if you live with passion and commitment, if you hold to the path where others give up because YOU JUST CAN’T STOP DOING THIS THING AND BEING THIS THING, you will get there.

This life is yours. You choose any path you want. You can change mid-journey. You can change any time you want!

For some of you, that path was lit up bright in your heart and coursing through your veins before you even got here. You’ll be full of this strange compulsion to follow a particular destiny. You’ll feel that urge deep within you to BE something or to DO something.

You’ll know if that’s you.

And if it is, my best advice is this: Don’t give up. Fuel yourself with that dream. Make it the brightest star on your horizon. Deep inside you already know it was what you were born to do. Oprah and mega-bucks had nothing to do with it. It’s about destiny.

Live your Dream. Why else are you here? Live that Dream!

Image by wollymood at deviantART

Image by wollymood at deviantART