Grown-Ups Get To Choose!

“We are always told that anyone over the age of eighteen should know what they are doing. The fact is, they don’t.” 
~ Rae Earl

One of the most important lessons I ever learned in life came from a trip to the corner store at the end of the street.

I was cooking dinner and realised I had run out of potatoes. Ben walked with me for the company and busied himself at the front counter while I rifled through the potato bin. He bought himself a bag of mixed lollies (candies), all counted out into a striped paper bag.

I paid for my two potatoes and then reached out for a sweet. ‘Hey,’ said Ben pulling the packet out of reach. ‘These are mine. If you want some, get your own!’ He was joking, but it made me realise something.

Lollies? I never bought lollies. I hadn’t bought a bag of sweets like that since I was a kid and my pa would give me fifty cents to buy some in the holidays. ‘Okay, I will!’ I said defiantly. It was wonderful to choose them, and on the way home I felt like a kid as I let myself eat a couple right before dinner – something my mum would never have allowed. By the time we got in the front door Ben’s bag was empty. I told him off for ruining his dinner.

‘Nic,’ he said, ‘I’m a grown-up. I can do what I want. I would have eaten them all before dinner or after dinner, but I ate them now because I felt like them and they were delicious. That’s the thing about being an adult. You get to choose.’

It might sound weird but that was a revelation for me. I’d grown up in a strict household, and I carried that strictness and all of those rules into my own independent life. But now there was no-one to tell me what to do. I could do what I wanted. I was an adult. I didn’t even have to eat my dinner if I didn’t want to. I could just eat my bag of lollies.

That freedom of being able to eat breakfast cereal for dinner, to not make your bed or to stay in pyjamas all day can be an awesome thing. But so often we only use that freedom adulthood bestows upon us to make childish or insignificant choices. The rest of the time we let life happen to us, or we make a choice once and think we can no longer make another. These July energies support change and I want you to understand that as an adult there are many other things you can use this superpower of choice on.

You can choose to give up smoking. You can choose to get a better job. You can choose to stay and work on a marriage with problems. You can choose to leave a bad relationship. You can choose to sell everything up and travel the world. If you’re stuck, if you’re unhappy, if something’s not working YOU CAN CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD.

What will you choose in July?

Much love, Nicole xx

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11 thoughts on “Grown-Ups Get To Choose!

  1. I have worn school uniforms then work uniforms my whole life.
    Now I spend a lot of my days in my PJs just because I can.
    Sometimes even after I have cooked tea I can’t face it so I eat what I want at the time 😊

  2. Started a Facebook group called ‘Mindful Choice’ to help support choices that define our end path. Not told anyone about it until now….

    Teaching adults all day I noticed a repeatable theme that that many sharr & believe, which is they don’t feel they control of where they end up. Whether that be weight related, how their day turns out or striving for a larger goal/project.

    Thanks for sharing this story. I definately relate xx

    • Don’t be too hard on yourself, Joanne. We all make bad choices from time to time. It’s part of being human xx

  3. Thank you Nicole, for the very necessary reminder of what’s between B & D.

    I would also like to add how very much I enjoy reading about the other details of your life … the “stuff that fills up the spaces”, so to say. I love reading about your life on your farm & about your dogs & other farm animals and how you enjoy your morning cuppa looking at the morning mist. I love hearing about your “pottering” antics & wonderful rambling thoughts about life. I know I’m not the only one so ignore those hill billy critics who tell you otherwise. You are such a jolly good writer … you have a gift for making the ordinary seem extra-ordinary and that is as it should be. You remind us of what’s important … that the “stuff that fills up the spaces” has its own beauty & so often, it’s the simple aspects of life that teach us the most and it’s also where we find our greatest lessons & blessings. So please “ramble” on … you do so with such grace. You bring back childhood wonder & how important it is to care for each other & to just be kind in our daily dealings.
    I keep you gentle on my mind when it comes to praying for your Lyme Disease to dissipate.
    You are so brave. May you be blessed abundantly with all you need.

    • Thank you so much, Sue. Life IS extraordinary. When I almost croaked it a few years ago, and I experienced what we thought would be my last sunrise I realised it was ONLY the ordinary that was special and noteworthy and miss-able. Everything else is just spin and marketing.
      Biggest hugs and love, Nicole xx

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