Grown-Ups Get To Choose!

“We are always told that anyone over the age of eighteen should know what they are doing. The fact is, they don’t.” 
~ Rae Earl

One of the most important lessons I ever learned in life came from a trip to the corner store at the end of the street.

I was cooking dinner and realised I had run out of potatoes. Ben walked with me for the company and busied himself at the front counter while I rifled through the potato bin. He bought himself a bag of mixed lollies (candies), all counted out into a striped paper bag.

I paid for my two potatoes and then reached out for a sweet. ‘Hey,’ said Ben pulling the packet out of reach. ‘These are mine. If you want some, get your own!’ He was joking, but it made me realise something.

Lollies? I never bought lollies. I hadn’t bought a bag of sweets like that since I was a kid and my pa would give me fifty cents to buy some in the holidays. ‘Okay, I will!’ I said defiantly. It was wonderful to choose them, and on the way home I felt like a kid as I let myself eat a couple right before dinner – something my mum would never have allowed. By the time we got in the front door Ben’s bag was empty. I told him off for ruining his dinner.

‘Nic,’ he said, ‘I’m a grown-up. I can do what I want. I would have eaten them all before dinner or after dinner, but I ate them now because I felt like them and they were delicious. That’s the thing about being an adult. You get to choose.’

It might sound weird but that was a revelation for me. I’d grown up in a strict household, and I carried that strictness and all of those rules into my own independent life. But now there was no-one to tell me what to do. I could do what I wanted. I was an adult. I didn’t even have to eat my dinner if I didn’t want to. I could just eat my bag of lollies.

That freedom of being able to eat breakfast cereal for dinner, to not make your bed or to stay in pyjamas all day can be an awesome thing. But so often we only use that freedom adulthood bestows upon us to make childish or insignificant choices. The rest of the time we let life happen to us, or we make a choice once and think we can no longer make another. These July energies support change and I want you to understand that as an adult there are many other things you can use this superpower of choice on.

You can choose to give up smoking. You can choose to get a better job. You can choose to stay and work on a marriage with problems. You can choose to leave a bad relationship. You can choose to sell everything up and travel the world. If you’re stuck, if you’re unhappy, if something’s not working YOU CAN CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD.

What will you choose in July?

Much love, Nicole xx

PS – Need some help with your choices?

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How to work out what your heart wants…

“…everyone wants to be excited by something magical and wondrous – to be reminded of how they once saw the world …” 
~ John Geddes

You don’t need to figure everything out on your own. There are always signposts, gentle nudges in the right direction, a trail of breadcrumbs, a giant flashing neon sign.

Problem is, when you are stuck in your head (yes, you know what I mean) going round and round with your own lousy thoughts and worries, being steered by your anxieties and insecurities, it can be easy to miss all that guidance.

Late yesterday afternoon as I was standing in the paddock, five black cockatoos flew over my head. As they neared me they began to call. They cruised directly over me, although they had that whole expanse of sky at their disposal. Then they wheeled around at the old hoop pine, flew over my head once again for good measure, screeching at me the entire time, before alighting back in the hoop pine.

My whole body tingled, and the hairs rose on my arms. You see, that morning I’d been struggling with where to go next with my writing. I have several unfinished projects, each of which will take me in a very different direction. Which one should I run with? I just couldn’t decide…

When those black cockatoos turned up in the paddock I was flooded with knowing. Here were my black sisters, my Kimberley Aunties, flying over to comfort, reassure and remind me. Suddenly the direction I needed to take was writ clear in my mind, as well as my heart.

Today, if you’re in that place of needing some clarity – here I am, waving a big sign for you.

You have this awesome internal guidance system inside you, called your SOUL. And your soul communicates with you by intuition.

If you’re uncomfortable with the concept of a soul, then perhaps think of this energy as your own internal wisdom and most heartfelt, honest preferences.

Your soul isn’t governed by your head. Your mind is just a helpful super-computer at your soul’s disposal. You won’t get the answers you seek from your mind alone. Being stuck in your head is most often a fruitless exercise, or at least one of diminishing returns the more time we spend there.

The magic starts when our heart and mind connect and share wisdoms with one another. The heart knows, and the mind has the genius to make it happen.

Image from Scenic Reflections

Image from Scenic Reflections

Right now, if you’re feeling lost or stuck, it’s perfectly okay to ask for a sign or some kind of answer that gives you clarity – or at least a place to start. Then trust that your Soul and the Universe will use everything at their disposal to get that message to you.

For me, yesterday, it was black cockatoos.

You’ll know what it is for you. Your soul will make the message or the messenger look brighter, shinier, more obvious – this thing, whatever it is, will just stand out more. It will be meaningful for YOU.

It might be a sign on the back of a bus, a song on the radio, an article in the newspaper, a recurring image or idea. Don’t worry about what it could be – just trust that this thing will make itself known to you!

Eg: You’re thinking about returning to study, and you need to have your application in today, but is it the right thing to do? On the way to work you get stuck behind this bus…

Suddenly, you have your answer. You’re on fire. You just KNOW what you need to do!

There’s another thing I need to tell you, to help you recognise what it will be. It won’t be mind driven. Mind-driven solutions are logical, expected and rational. And quite often they leave us dragging our feet. Our heart won’t be in it. We won’t light up when we think about it. It will be an answer or solution we feel we should take, one that will be a crowd pleaser or the sensible choice. Tune in – part of you will be sitting in deep resistance to that particular idea.

If that’s how you feel, that’s not your thing…

Yesterday, as I watched my black cockatoos and thought about my wise Aunties, and as my heart knew which direction to take, I was filled with bright energy and hope. My eyes pricked with tears.

And I also knew the answer had been in me all along. It was just my mind that was objecting…

Your heart always knows what it wants. Your Soul is perfectly equipped to get that message to your conscious mind.

The whole Universe is contriving to help you live your best life.

So ask. And trust.

I have so much faith in you…

I’ll leave you with the sounds of the black cockatoos, Much Love, Nicole xx