The Elephant Elder of Chiang Mai

On my thirtieth birthday I woke up to find that I could see auras around people. After I adjusted to the shock, and the disorientation that comes from having additional materials in your field of vision, I soon found that I could understand and interpret those energies, and it has formed the basis of much of my psychic work.

On my fortieth birthday I woke up and I could see colour all around me, in everything living thing, and many more things besides.  I was so overwhelmed. It was as if God had allowed me to open Pandora’s Box…

Image by Marta Dahlig

At first I felt as if I could no longer even walk on the grass, in case I injured it. The world was so beautiful.  But what would I eat? Animals, plants, they all had auras – I could see within them the existence of a sentience well beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Energetically, they were so much like us, and we like them.

But how I resolved that is best left for another day.

A few years ago I took a trip to Thailand. I was recuperating from a heart attack – and it’s true to say that I was in a very open and accepting space about what life had in store for me.

While in Chiang Mai we trekked up to an Elephant Camp. As we walked through the park, a line of elephants came towards us from the other direction.  Each elephant had their mahout (trainer and guide) and a tourist or two on their back.

One of the elephants lifted up their head from quite a way away and stared directly at me.  It made me feel quite uncomfortable. As that elephant stared at me, others began to notice me too.  They were so big, and suddenly I felt very small and very vulnerable. A few of the elephants walked past us now and then suddenly the one who had been staring trumpeted and ran towards me. It happened so quickly that no-one did anything. Fear surged in me and for a moment I thought I might die. But just as suddenly she stopped in front of me, and I swear she looked at me with recognition.

Her mahout yelled to her, and urged her to keep walking, but she stood a moment longer with me, and then ever so tenderly she stroked my cheek with her trunk.   It was the most extraordinary thing, and it reduced me to tears.

As the rest of the elephants filed past us, each of them stretched out their trunk towards me. I could see that the mahouts were uncomfortable and that this was not usual elephant behaviour.

Later, after we had watched a group of elephants bathing in the river, we bought bananas and went over to where some of the elephants were resting.

There was my elephant, and she tapped me on the shoulder with her trunk, so I would favour her with a banana.  Her aura was quite different to the other elephants around her.  It was complex, with Master Colours and a Psychic Channel. She reminded me of my favourite one-eyed cow, 767, who is that matriarch of our cattle herd, and an incredibly wise old girl. Just as with 767, I saw the other elephants looking to this wise old mother for direction and guidance.

This elephant kept looking at me with her querying eyes, and my whole body vibrated as she touched me, tapping her trunk gently right over my heart. I had only been out of hospital for a fortnight, and was still experiencing constant pain. Somehow she knew. I stood with her for a long while, and without being able to speak each other’s language, I felt that we had understood each other. My aching heart actually eased.  Later I would have my first full night’s sleep since I had first had chest pain.

My day with the Elephant Elder of Chiang Mai remains one of the most profound experiences of my life.

Life is so much more mysterious and wonderful than anything I had ever dreamed. ♥

The gift of impermanence OR Live like you’re dying…

A few years ago I suffered a heart attack.  It was induced by a virus, and it absolutely floored me.  I ignored the symptoms the evening they began, and it was not until late the next day that I took myself to hospital.  As I lay in Accident and Emergency with doctors and nurses fussing round me, and then as I lay on my own, wired up to all manner of machines in a curtained cubicle I had this sudden realisation – This is serious and I might actually die!  I wasn’t afraid of dying.  What bothered me were my regrets.

I lay in that cold room, and counted the hours as they slid by.  One thing blazed in front of me the whole time – I hadn’t spent enough time just hanging out with my husband, and I hadn’t written a book. My life had been brought into stark focus.  The two things that mattered the most to me were the things to which I’d devoted the least energy.

There was no ignoring my heart as it kicked and bucked and clenched. I was lucky there was no lasting damage, and I came home to begin my recovery.

Almost a year later to the day I got a small paralysis tick in my ear. At the time it was a mild inconvenience.  But that tiny beastie sparked off cardiomyopathy in me. I now have a big fat heart. It’s improved over time, but my heart still tweaks me now and again. I’m affected by heat, and find it hard to carry loads or walk up steep hills.

Sounds bad, doesn’t it? I don’t think of it like that.  I think of it as a constant reminder to live with the right priorities.  Since my heart attack I have now written three completed manuscripts and am working on a fourth.  I had two of them shortlisted for the QWC Hachette Manuscript Development Program. I spend plenty of time with my husband, and other people I care deeply about, and much less time with people who don’t matter.

We’re all going to die.  We don’t know when this crazy ride might end for ourselves or someone we love.  I’ve learned the value of life, and I actively seek joy and cultivate gratitude.  My wish for you, as we move into 2012, is that you find your priorities and fill your life with what matters to you.