Choosing Joy Now! – Monday Oracle for 20 March 2017

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Hello, Lovelies.

The oracle card I have chosen to guide us this week is ‘Joy’ from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Deck by Tori Hartman.

If you read my forecast for March, you’ll remember that March is all about creating systems and structures which make your everyday life more supported and sustainable.

So, what gifts does Joy bring for you this week?

This week is a week for filling yourself up. Worry less about other people. Worry less about being judged. Worry less about your endless to-do lists and all the things you want to change about yourself.

Instead, give yourself over to life.

Go live it. Right now. Even though it’s not perfect. Even though you’ve been waiting until some mythical things from the future align, or you’ve ticked off enough tasks to allow you to feel that you can deserve whatever it is that your heart craves.

Just go live.

Live with gusto.

Run around in the sunshine. Dance in the rain. Go for a bike ride or a swim in the ocean. Get a massage. Go play in a bookstore or library. Groove to funky disco tunes at home in your pyjamas.

Meet your friends for coffee and cake.

Be silly with your kids and giggle like a two-year-old.

Hold hands with your beloved, and remember all the things you adore about them. Put your phone down and actually spend time with your sweetheart. Look into their eyes instead of into a screen.

Cry in sad movies. Stay up all night reading that book you can’t put down.

Use that beautiful soap someone gifted you that’s too pretty to use everyday. Drink out of the good crystal or the best china. Wear what makes you happy.

Joy reminds us to live now. So go do that, okay?

Flipside of that? This week be mindful about staying away from people and situations that kill your joy. Make plans to enable this to be more permanent if you have reached a place in your relationship or your job where being there is stealing your soul, rendering you into nothingness or breaking your heart.

Supportive crystals this week?

Citrine helps us to bring the sunshine back into our lives, and to think with optimism and clarity!  If you are ready to ask for what you need or to voice your thoughts and ideas choose a lovely blue Sodalite! Green Aventurine is the perfect happiness stone, helping to elevate our mood and our sense of gratitude for the everyday. Rose Quartz if you need a boost of love, kindness and nurture.

Helpful essential oils? 

Young Living’s Joy or Believe essential oil blends, or  a combination (or singly!) of any of Grapefruit, Basil, Geranium and Sandalwood. The Joy blend is fabulous if you are feeling anxious or uncertain, or a bit sad or stuck. It’s reassuring and uplifting; wonderful for gently shifting depression and self-doubt. I often wear it as a perfume. Believe oil is a super stress-buster that boosts feel-good energies and self-esteem. It smells so uplifting and pretty too. It’s my oil of choice in my diffuser this week.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for a you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

The True Cost of Dreams – Monday Oracle 13 March 2017

“The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.”
~ Henry David Thoreau

Hello, Lovelies.

The oracle card I have chosen to guide us this week is ‘Wisdom’ from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Deck by Tori Hartman.

If you read my forecast for March, you’ll remember that March is all about creating systems and structures which make your everyday life more supported and sustainable.

So, what gifts does Wisdom bring for you this week?

Wisdom reminds us that when we follow the calling of our heart magic happens. This week support comes from unexpected quarters, inspiration flows, and from the smallest of beginnings we can begin to create results beyond our wildest imaginings. It’s a strong week for intuitive wisdom and spiritual guidance. It’s the kind of week where miracles can happen.

It’s the kind of week where we get the job, get the lucky break, win the prize, meet the love of our life.

It’s a fabulous week for finding a coach, mentor or teacher. For joining a class or a mastermind. For signing up to learn more. Or for offering your own expertise in the world.

Wisdom is all about healthy boundaries, asking for help and practicing extreme self-care.

It’s about not apologising for your choices, or feeling that you need to explain or defend yourself.

Wisdom is also a reminder to build our lives and businesses in sustainable ways.

There’s no point reaching our goals or realising our dreams if we have destroyed our relationships, our health, our lives or our planet in the process.

Wisdom encourages us to recognise the price we pay when we don’t follow our heart. When we ignore our dreams life becomes colourless, our very life-force drains away, we waste our one precious life and become filled with regret.

The way forward this week is to take steps towards what makes our heart glad. Those steps might be small, but they are vital to our long-term happiness and wellbeing.

Our heart knows what it wants! True wisdom is paying attention to that, and creating action to make our dreams a reality.

Supportive crystals this week?

Red Jasper helps us to make decisions and stick to them this week. Tiger Eye is fabulous for clarity and creativity. Tourmaline in Quartz will build courage and help you to stand by your choices and decisions. Sodalite will help you to understand and speak your truth.

Helpful essential oils?

Young Living’s Believe or Common Sense essential oil blends are good choices this week. Believe works to boost our self-confidence and self-belief.  Common Sense oil is a super stress-buster that will help with allowing you to become clear about what you want, and to feel secure with your choices and decisions, especially around change. If you want to make your own combination or use a single oil, choose from grapefruit, basil, geranium and frankincense. Use one to two drops of each in your diffuser – they blend beautifully together.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for a you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

The Non-Believer and The Amazing Offer

“I was a terrible believer in things,but I was also a terrible nonbeliever in things. I was as searching as I was skeptical. I didn’t know where to put my faith,or if there was such a place,or even what the word faith meant, in all of it’s complexity. Everything seemed to be possibly potent and possibly fake.” 

~ Cheryl Strayed

 

 

This is a long story, so I’m going to tell it over two days. It might seem like a couple of unrelated stories to start off with, but I promise you it comes together at the end.

So, let’s start at the beginning…

Earlier this year a friend put me in touch with a business coach – a very successful man who had guided her and many others to be able to grow their businesses and themselves. All of these people had existing very successful businesses, and this coach had helped them to move to the next level.

It seemed like a good fit. I was ready and looking, and he was spoken of very highly. He lives overseas so I booked in a skype session with him, feeling very excited.

And then it all went pear-shaped.

What did I do, he asked me.

I’m a psychic, I said, and a metaphysical teacher. I help people to connect to their own intuition and psychic abilities. I blog too.

And you make money from that? His voice was skeptical. In fact, there was more than a hint of something else there. That thing was ridicule.

Yes, I said, I’m doing okay. My initial enthusiasm was fast waning. Bewilderingly, I began to wilt beneath his scrutiny.

Really? But you must have been something else…. before… this… he added.

I explained that I had once owned a very successful training and communications business, with many government and large corporate clients.

Good. That’s where the money is, the coach said, visibly relieved. That’s what you need to go back to. I’m happy to coach you around that. We should be able to make something fly really fast for you there. And I’m thinking now… imagine how you’d go creating online courses for people? Or teaching that? Brilliant!

But that wasn’t what I wanted to do.

When I told him that, he announced that he couldn’t work with me.

I’m a total non-believer in that psychic nonsense, he said. And further, he thought taking me on as a client would reflect badly upon his own ‘brand’.

I got off that call feeling bad about myself and my place in the world.

To make it worse, I heard back from my friend that this coach had trash-talked me to her, saying that I’d ‘wasted my education and abilities to peddle New Age crap to soccer moms and trailer trash’.

Ouch. Talk about confronting! Because of that call I questioned every choice I’d made. I questioned whether my life and what I was doing with it was worthwhile, whether I was actually doing something meaningful, or whether I was deluding myself.

The successful business coach reduced me to feeling like a loser. I seriously wondered if I should have gone back to the corporate world after all.  It rocked me more than I’d expected and I’ll be honest in sharing that it took a few weeks to recalibrate my internal equilibrium.

Fast forward to last week.

A gentleman I worked with in the corporate world ten years ago contacted me and offered me (and my shelved company) a three-year contract if I would go back and head up a task force for a project I’d once been instrumental in getting off the ground. It was a seven-figure gig. Per year.

Per year. That’s so much money.

But it was a July 1 start, so no holiday for me (I’m meant to be flying out on May 29 for 6 weeks). I’d be working with people I don’t like. And I’d need to be based in Canberra for three years. They’d own me, essentially. For which I would be very well paid. I’d have to close my psychic business down. Cancel my workshops and retreats. Walk away from everything I’d been building. I was actually considering it, and then the guy said something that made all my alarm bells sound.

You’re the only person I know, Nicole, who specialises in impossible deadlines.

There it was. I’d be working til I dropped. Just like I had the last time we’d worked together. The answer had to be no.

Still, I couldn’t say it. I told this man I needed to discuss his offer with my husband and would get back to him next Monday, after which I felt sick and couldn’t sleep for days for wondering what I should do. Although my husband was sure I needed to say no. And in my heart I knew without a doubt that I needed to turn it down.

But the money…

So much money.

Perhaps worse than that was the fact that I knew if I took this role I would finally have the approval of certain family members, and of some friends who have turned their back on me, given what I now do with my life.

Ben and I talked about it endlessly. Or rather, I kept trying to talk about it and come at it from different angles while Ben listened patiently. Wisely, Ben reminded me of what had happened last time I’d worked on this kind of project. How I’d spend weeks getting four hours sleep a night to make things happen. How I’d eaten stress breakfast, lunch and dinner. Finally I couldn’t come up with one single legitimate reason to accept the contract. I love my life here at the farm. I love my work. I’m really happy, and I’m finally on the path to health. I’d be throwing all of that away, just for money and approval.

I can’t go back to that jungle, I said to Ben. But you know what? I’m just going to throw it out to the Universe anyway. Because I still feel a bit doubty. I’m going to trust that somehow I’ll get confirmation one way or the other, from outside myself.

The very next morning (Friday), there it was in my facebook inbox. A message from one of my students.

Hi Nicole, you featured in my very big dream last night. I am not sure if this message was for you. You said to me you were here to help life and “life is love”. That is why you can’t go to the jungle! Just thought I would share. Much love T xx

They were almost the exact words I’d spoken to Ben.

I’d love to tell you that I was able to let it go after that. But no. On Saturday night I felt quite teary and depressed. I was feeling as if my blog and my psychic work and my teaching didn’t matter. I wasn’t making enough of a difference. Maybe I had it all wrong.

Even on Sunday I couldn’t shake the feeling. I fumbled through my day off in a miserable space of self-doubt.

And then late in the day I received a series of messages on my phone that arrived via facebook. Something made me look at them. What happened next brought me full circle.

But I’ll tell you about that tomorrow…

The Things That Really Matter

“Perspective is as simple as answering this question: If I had 5 months to live would I experience this problem differently?”
~ Shannon L. Alder

 

As you read this, my friend Liz and her young family are readying their bags. They are heading to the airport. They are flying to Hawaii for the holiday of a lifetime.

A lifetime that will soon be over for Liz.

Last week Liz was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Doctors think she has, at best, three or four months. They have told her that there is nothing they can do except manage her condition and pain. They have told her that the end, when it comes, will be a very sudden downhill slide.

But for now, Liz feels okay. She’s tired. She’s sore. She gets a little forgetful. But she’s upright and functioning.

After extensive talks with me last week, Liz and her husband decided to pull their kids out of school and take them on this family holiday. They want to make memories that will last a lifetime. They want these last days together to be good ones, and to make the most of these kinds of opportunities while Liz is still mobile.

Liz has already spoken to her employer, her union, her insurance company. She’s talked with the kids’ schools. I’ve helped her to access palliative care, and have connected her with an excellent social worker who is experienced with guiding people through these kinds of situations.

Why pretend life is normal when suddenly it’s not? Why cling to routine when soon it will be forever changed anyway?

While I was talking with Liz, she said something that resonated deeply with me. ‘I was living on automatic pilot, doing all the things you are supposed to do. Paying the mortgage on a big house. Paying the loan repayments on big cars. Paying off the credit cards. I was working so hard. So is my husband. We live in a beautiful new house we’ve never had time to enjoy. We run around all week doing jobs we hate, and then spend all weekend catching up on chores and housework. I really lost sight of what matters.’

‘What does matter to you?’ I asked her gently.

She burst into tears. ‘I was too worried about stuff. It’s all just stuff. What really matters is my husband and my kids. My mum and dad. My friends. Fergus, our dog. But I haven’t had time for any of that. I think we were actually happier in our old cramped home, where at least we had time for each other.’ Liz pulled herself together. ‘In the time I have left I’m going to teach my children that what matters is where your heart is. It’s your relationships and your family. It’s making memories and having experiences. It’s about slowing down enough to notice the world around you. It’s about doing things that make you happy, like cooking a meal together or working on a scrapbook, or singing Disney songs in the car with your kids, or picking flowers for the kitchen table.’

So now Liz is taking her husband and children to Hawaii, a place she’s dreamed of going ever since she was a small child. They’ll be there until just before Easter, after which they’ll come home to friends and family.

In the time left to her, Liz is going to work with her children on planning their 18th and 21st birthdays. She’ll make scrapbooks and write letters, and record some video messages. She and her husband will go on date nights. She’ll fill her life with the people she loves.

Liz has decided not to follow any last-minute anti-cancer diets, or to fly off and leave her family to search for last-minute miracle cures. She wants to enjoy good coffee, and eat her favourite foods, guilt-free. She wants to take the kids to the beach for fish and chips, or eat pizza and popcorn and ice-cream on the couch in front of a DVD.

In the time left her Liz wants to live, mindful of and grateful for every moment.

I think that’s good advice for us all.

 

Your Strength as a Wounded Healer

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
~ Rumi

 

Have you ever wondered why stuff happens to you? Why you’ve had to suffer, and endure the things you’ve gone through?

I have no good answers for the WHY, but I do have some advice based on having suffered and endured on my own journey.

Don’t let that suffering be wasted. Don’t waste it on vengeance or anger or being stuck as a victim. Don’t get stuck in your story. Don’t become the object of suffering and the receptacle for pain.

You have a choice. And whenever you have choice, power, in that moment, resides in you and that power to choose.

So, this is my advice, based on my own pain and suffering…

Use your wounds to grow. Use your path of suffering and pain as a force to transform you. Make your suffering MEAN something. Take everything that you are, everything that you have, everything you have endured and work that suffering and pain into wisdom.

After that, the road will fork.

Image from JackeyBackman.com

Image from JackeyBackman.com

You can take the first road. That road allows you to take your inner wisdom and strength as a shining light and courage within you that helps propel you forward in the world. No-one else might ever learn of the suffering that transformed you, but in that place of transformation you will strive and thrive and become a success at whatever calls you BECAUSE of that guiding energy and force within you. You’ll know that you can rely on yourself, you’ll know that you can all on that strength. You’ll trust your resilience and your ability to endure and overcome. That suffering will no longer define you – instead, in a strange way, it will have liberated you.

For some of you, though, you’ll feel the calling of that second road.

That’s the Path of the Healer.

Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Your feet will be shuffling onto that path, cautiously walking that path, that heart-drawn path, and you’ll be so very aware of the suffering and the brokenness that has happened in your life. I know, you’ll be looking back over your shoulder and thinking ‘What right do I have to be here? I’m wounded.’ And then you’ll think that maybe you should turn around and go back…

My friend, I just want to embrace you. I want to cheer you on. I want to sit down beside you, offer you a deep refreshing drink from my water bottle and whisper something in your ear.

Image from Rebel Thriver

Image from Rebel Thriver

There’s a secret power in being a wounded healer. You’ll be able to identify those who are ready to invite the light into their wounds. You’ll be able to hear their pain. Feel their anguish. Identify with them, as both and equal and a teacher. And most importantly, you’ll be able to help them to step out of that dance they do with their pain and into a place of using that pain for transformation.

You’ll be able to look them in the eye and say ‘I know you. I see you. I understand you. Because I have my own wound. We walk this path together.’

Wounds can heal. The scars they leave behind make us stronger. They are a tangible reminder that none of us are perfect, and that life is a hard road, with many obstacles which we shall seek to overcome.

That you are further along the path, still upright, wiser… well, that gives hope to others. Your compassion and understanding, having walked that difficult road yourself, becomes a powerful force for helping others to transform.

Please, if you’ve held yourself back BECAUSE of your wounding, your scars, your history, your imperfections, I ask you to reconsider.

Let me share with you the story of two of my clients who were weight-loss coaches. One of them was a young girl who’d excelled at everything she’d ever tried. She was an exercise physiologist and nutritionalist, an elite athlete, and a stunning beauty. The other was a middle-aged overweight housewife. Who had once been morbidly obese. Who was still holding a few pounds. And who, bless her, had little fashion sense.

One of them is still an outstandingly successful weight-loss coach.

The woman who was once morbidly obese, who has lost over half her body weight and maintained that loss, is now successfully leading many other men and women with life-long weight issues back to a place of health and balance. She can look you in the eye and know that you are binge-eating frozen cheesecake through your tears in the dead of night. She knows the shame, the anguish, the self-loathing, the total lack of self-worth. She’s been there. She’s walked that path and she still walks that path. She knows that path well, and she’s learning more all the time. And you’ll trust her because of that. She truly has your back because she IS you, in a way.

The young elite athlete? She changed her focus and now she rehabs injured athletes and corporate-type individuals with a burning need to succeed and with strong competitive instincts. She trains winners. She trains go-getters. Because that is who she is, and the mindset and values with whom she most relates. She knows what it is to push herself, to feel completely driven, to give herself to her goals one hundred percent. She knows what it is to be eaten up by self-induced stress. To get completely out of balance and to burn out or injure yourself through over-training. To have no social or family life because your world has become too narrow. Or that you need that narrowness in order to reach a goal, and for some people, that the goal is what matters. She also knows how it important it is to be sustainable, after having been so unsustainable herself. She knows the beauty and the thrill of that control and that desire to win. She’s incredibly successful now, and so are her clients. She’s getting incredible results.

Both of them are.

And both of them are wounded healers, walking their talk and sharing their passion, their wisdom and their light.

Healers come in all forms. Yes, there are traditional healers. Doctors, naturopaths, counsellors, nurses, massage therapists – the list goes on. But healers are also teachers. They are mothers, fathers, writers, cab drivers, hairdressers, tax accountants, musicians, waitresses, gardeners. They share their compassion, their advice, their support, their wisdom and their lessons in so many, many ways.

Don’t tell me that you’re somehow LESS because you are imperfect.

Tell me how you can help others be MORE because of your imperfection and the knowledge that has been gained on your journey.

Your wounding is what makes you whole. It’s what makes you beautiful and precious and valuable. It’s what makes you real.

I have faith in you.

Go do this, if it’s calling you. We need more big, open scarred-up hearts, souls and minds in the world. It’s time.

When your Heart says No…

Image from www.grassrootsy.com

“We need to find the courage to say ‘NO’ to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.”  ~ Barbara De Angelis

We’ve all been there.  The place that ticks all the boxes.  The partner our friends and parents love.  The dream job.  The thing we thought we really wanted.  The place we always figured we’d be happy to be…

Image from www.xfinitytv.comcast.net

But what happens when you meet that dream lover, or find yourself in that perfect place, or finally achieve the big thing, only to find that something’s missing?

You scratch your head, and check the boxes.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

It all looks good. It all adds up.

So why do you feel like you’re dead inside?

Life isn’t always about finding a partner/job/solution that ticks all your boxes.  After all, wasn’t it your HEAD that made the list up in the first place? Or, maybe even worse, it’s your Mother’s list, or your teacher’s, or something you found in a self-help book or some corner of the internet.

If it’s not feeling right, it’s because your HEART isn’t engaged.  And that’s where the magic happens!

Image from www.favim.com

Think back over your life, and you’ll soon know what I mean.  Remember the outfit you loved so much because it transformed you somehow.  The one you never would have chosen for yourself, because you didn’t think that colour suited you. But once you tried it on, you knew…

What about your unlikely best friend, back at school?  The one so opposite to you, and when you got together all you did was laugh and laugh. You came from different backgrounds, you looked completely different to one another, but you both were crazy about that one thing that brought you together in the first place.

Remember the weird combination of flavours that had you totally hooked at that little Thai street cafe on the last night of your overseas holiday – your whole life up until that point had been about the plain sort of food your grandma cooked.  Since then you’ve sought out food like that back home. You even COOK food like that at home.

Life is a glorious adventure, and it was never meant to fit so neatly into a plan, or a list or a flow chart. Certainly not one that is safe, sensible and completely without risk.  All the best stuff in life is the stuff you never could have made up for yourself.

Hearts have a wisdom all their own.  And the wisdom they share with you might not make any sense at all to your brain.  Or to anyone else’s brain. (But whose life is this anyway?)

Heart wisdom isn’t logical and yet it usually shows you the best path to happiness in life.

When your heart says NO, pay attention. When all the boxes are ticked, and there’s no gleam in your eye, no enthusiasm in your step, your heart is trying very hard to tell you something.

Haven’t you ever heard the expression ‘my heart’s just not in it’? That’s your heart saying NO.

When your heart says no, it’s asking you to stretch, it’s encouraging you to grow. That might feel a little strange at first.  It might even feel a little wrong.  Don’t confuse fear with intuition… What we come to love often looks or feels different to what we had expected in our mind.

When your heart says NO it’s because it understands that there is a YES just round the next corner, and if you say wrongly say YES to a NO, you close yourself off to the magic and miracles that give us the best and most memorable parts of life.

Tune in today.  Ask your heart.  Is it a YES?  Is it a NO?

When your heart says NO, be brave.  Move on…