Grown-Ups Get To Choose!

“We are always told that anyone over the age of eighteen should know what they are doing. The fact is, they don’t.” 
~ Rae Earl

One of the most important lessons I ever learned in life came from a trip to the corner store at the end of the street.

I was cooking dinner and realised I had run out of potatoes. Ben walked with me for the company and busied himself at the front counter while I rifled through the potato bin. He bought himself a bag of mixed lollies (candies), all counted out into a striped paper bag.

I paid for my two potatoes and then reached out for a sweet. ‘Hey,’ said Ben pulling the packet out of reach. ‘These are mine. If you want some, get your own!’ He was joking, but it made me realise something.

Lollies? I never bought lollies. I hadn’t bought a bag of sweets like that since I was a kid and my pa would give me fifty cents to buy some in the holidays. ‘Okay, I will!’ I said defiantly. It was wonderful to choose them, and on the way home I felt like a kid as I let myself eat a couple right before dinner – something my mum would never have allowed. By the time we got in the front door Ben’s bag was empty. I told him off for ruining his dinner.

‘Nic,’ he said, ‘I’m a grown-up. I can do what I want. I would have eaten them all before dinner or after dinner, but I ate them now because I felt like them and they were delicious. That’s the thing about being an adult. You get to choose.’

It might sound weird but that was a revelation for me. I’d grown up in a strict household, and I carried that strictness and all of those rules into my own independent life. But now there was no-one to tell me what to do. I could do what I wanted. I was an adult. I didn’t even have to eat my dinner if I didn’t want to. I could just eat my bag of lollies.

That freedom of being able to eat breakfast cereal for dinner, to not make your bed or to stay in pyjamas all day can be an awesome thing. But so often we only use that freedom adulthood bestows upon us to make childish or insignificant choices. The rest of the time we let life happen to us, or we make a choice once and think we can no longer make another. These July energies support change and I want you to understand that as an adult there are many other things you can use this superpower of choice on.

You can choose to give up smoking. You can choose to get a better job. You can choose to stay and work on a marriage with problems. You can choose to leave a bad relationship. You can choose to sell everything up and travel the world. If you’re stuck, if you’re unhappy, if something’s not working YOU CAN CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD.

What will you choose in July?

Much love, Nicole xx

PS – Need some help with your choices?

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Monday Oracle – 15 January 2018

 “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind. – Henry James

 

Hello, Lovelies!

January is a month for easing ourselves into the energies of 2018, for resting and recharging, for planning and dreaming and for tuning in to what can support us in the year ahead.

Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of awareness which the oracle card Little Red Cap brings us.

This week (from January 17) the energies of 2018 finally kick in. Little Red Cap reminds us that we get to choose where we put our focus this year, and that this is a great week for all forms of planning and committing to your goals and dreams.

Did you start this new year full of hope and ready for change, and then it all started to come unstuck in the past few days? As 2017 comes to an end we are getting ripples of old patterns of thought and behaviour coming up for us to recognise so that we can choose differently as we step into 2018.

If you’ve started a new diet for 2018 and already sabotaged it, found yourself back in old patterns of distressing behaviour with family members, negative self-talk or limiting thinking stop and take a deep breath. Recognise old patterns and then choose differently! Forgive yourself and move on without dwelling on mistakes and failures. Think about what it is that you want this year. Think about what you want to create or manifest or share. Choose where to put your focus – choose what lights you up or feels good to you. Put your attention on what you want, rather than on what you don’t want. Deal with issues as they arise but don’t make problems your main priority. Face yourself into the sunshine, hold onto the vision for your journey and keep moving forward. Treat yourself kindly, and treat others with that same kindness too.

Let me give you an example. Imagine you want to make a road trip, but your car has a flat tyre (yes, this is a metaphor for life!).

The old way (pre 2012) was to dwell endlessly on the need to ‘fix yourself’, finding more and more to work on as the first ‘problem’ became healed. We wouldn’t just change the tyre, we’d think about why we created the flat tyre, and what else in our past or our thoughts could have contributed to the flat tyre. We’d also look at all of the flat tyres we’d ever had before. Then we’d look at everything else that was possibly wrong and might need fixing. It was an endless cycle of ‘self-improvement’, and the road trip may well have been entirely forgotten as we worked earnestly on our ‘broken self’.

The new way (this new post-2012 era) is to think about your journey, effect any repairs quickly or get help to do so, and then get on your way. The emphasis is on where you want to go! What do you want to experience, create, manifest or share on this road trip of yours? It’s about the journey, not about the flat tyres. Little Red Cap invites you to hold a spirit of adventure and possibility in your heart this week as you look to your year ahead.

Image from eslamoda.com

Supportive crystals this week?

Selenite helps you to be kind to yourself. It will also connect you into your guides, angels and psychic ability. Fantastic for gently guiding you inwards. Red Jasper is a stone for mental, physical and emotional rejuvenation. Deeply grounding, it helps you connect to your heart and your truth and encourages clear boundaries. Lapis Lazuli is a super stone for boldly moving in new directions with insight and wisdom. If you are stressed or anxious about the past or about habits or thoughts that keep you stuck in the past Black Tourmaline is the best stone for you this week.

 

Helpful essential oils?

I’m still loving Young Living’s Envision this week. It’s an oil blend I often use in my workshops and retreats to help my students connect to inner wisdom and intuition. It helps us to see a greater possibility for ourselves. Use Envision for spiritual connection, inspiration and breakthroughs. Dab a drop on your Crown Chakra, back of neck, over your heart, wrists and the soles of your feet, inhale directly or add to your diffuser. 

Want to make your own blend? Each of the following oils will work beautifully on their own for you this week, but they’ll also make a delicious combination for diffusing. Vetiver will calm and ground us, promoting emotional balance, Lavender keeps us in flow and relaxed, Ylang Ylang opens our hearts and is supportive when we feel anxious or overwhelmed, and Bergamot brings joy, gratitude and optimism.  To diffuse add 2 or three drops of each oil to your room or personal diffuser. You can find the oils here.

 

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Little Red Cap’, is from the Inner Child Cards – A Fairy-Tale Tarot. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channeled messages and my own own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

Image from contioutra.com

 

Everyone has a story to tell…

In these days of emails, tweets and text messages we can spend our days constantly communicating, but not really sharing at that deeper level of connection.

One of my favourite forms of communication is a fairly old-fashioned one.  It involves conversation and cups of tea. Yesterday, my dear friend Carly-Jay Metcalfe, a poet and writer, came visiting with me as we sat in the kitchen of my neighbour, Gordon Greber, and heard some of his story.

Gordon is 85, nearing 86. He’s lived what he considers to be an ordinary life but as times change, what he has done and how he has lived is no longer ordinary. He has been a timber cutter, and cut sugar cane by hand and hauled it on his shoulder before the time of mechanical harvesters.  He’s been a fencer, a truck driver, a dairy man, a farmer.

As a young boy he left primary school when war broke out to work on a family banana farm, thus cutting dramatically short his formal education.

But Gordon, like many old bushies I have known, has a keen interest in the world around him.  Life has been his teacher. As we sit drinking strong tea and nibbling at the scones I have brought he gently unfolds his life before us.

There was plenty of hardship and cruelty in his childhood, followed by unending years of brutal physical labour in a range of jobs that took him far from where he was born, before he came full circle in 1954 and bought the farm he lives on today, not so far from his birthplace. That was the beginning of even more work, as he took a run-down and overgrown dairy farm and turned it into a home, and a productive enterprise.  He often worked several jobs, starting before sun-up and finishing well after sun-down in order to pay the bills. It took a huge toll on his health, but Gordon is uncomplaining. That was how life was back then, he said.  You had to work hard to get ahead. If you wanted a different life for your own family, that was just what you did.

I love watching Carly’s face as Gordon regales her with yarns about battles with brown snakes, friends killed in trucking accidents, crippling droughts and floods that tore families and farms apart. Gordon is so modest; his amazing stories told with humility and self- deprecation.

Carly’s drinking it in, and I see the writer in her storing it away.  Fodder for the mill. I know I will see echoes of this man’s life in her poetry, her novella, her fiction.

They part as firm friends, and I take one last photograph of them, Carly’s small hand pressed up against Gordon’s large one.  Both of them are battlers – with courage and grace by the bucketful. (More about Carly’s life-long journey with cystic fibrosis and a double lung transplant here) They have met life head on, and not given an inch. I wipe away a tear as they hug. Both cut from the same fabric, although they are not related and are generations apart.

Each of us has a story to tell, something to share, something to teach.  I hope that you can find some time to sit down with someone soon, and get to know each other a little better over a cuppa or a cold drink.  We are a tribe of storytellers – we need to hear them and share them.  It connects us.  It makes us whole. ♥