Is Perfection Your Secret Disease? – Oracle for Monday 6 March 2017

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”

~ Leonard Cohen

Hello, Lovelies!

The oracle card I have chosen to guide us this week is ‘Perfection’ from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Deck by Tori Hartman.

If you read my forecast for March, you’ll remember that March is all about creating systems and structures which make your everyday life more supported and sustainable.

So, what gifts does Perfection bring for you this week?

Perfection is a trap that steals time, momentum and positivity. It’s a sickness, a weakness that masquerades as something worthy.

We tell ourselves that we strive for perfection because we care so much. We want to do a good job. We want to get it right. We hold ourselves to a high standard.

In fact, sometimes we can’t even see that the reason we’re not moving forward is a perfection thing.

But so often it’s a perfection thing…

Perfection stops us from making decisions. Because what if there is a better one? What if we get it wrong? What if what we choose or decide fails us in some way?

Perfection stops us from even starting.

Instead we build entire worlds in our heads about how it could look, or even worse how it should have looked. (Yep, we spend time looking at the past, wishing we could have done things differently!) We use all our energy on thinking and worrying and comparing instead of simply DOING.

Perfection gets us into such a knot of not-good-enough that we procrastinate endlessly, and wear ourselves down into dust. We’re exhausted and spent before we even begin.

Perfection is an insidious disease that robs us of momentum, optimism and satisfaction.

Image from www.quotlr.com

Image from www.quotlr.com

This week the Perfection card reminds us to stop for a moment and examine our patterns of thought. And to look carefully at our patterns of action, or inaction.

What’s stopping you? What thoughts are going through your head? What’s worrying you? Why are you hesitating?

If necessary get it all down on paper. Just to get it out where you can see it clearly instead of having all those subversive joy-killing thoughts at the back of your head.

Then find a starting point and DO SOMETHING.

Not starting because of fear of failing is actually failing anyway. Had you ever realised that?

So – say yes. Or no. Start something. End something. Get some action happening and some choices made.

You may feel very wobbly as you start out, but action creates momentum and momentum creates stability and clarity. If you keep waiting, not doing anything, that clarity and momentum will continue to elude you. And you’ll stay a victim of the perfection disease.

Be a beginner, and then keep going. That’s how you get to mastery.

But above all, just be yourself!

Supportive crystals this week?

Lapis Lazuli is a stand out for its ability to strengthen both wisdom and self-belief. Carnelian is fabulous for energy, courage and creativity. Tourmaline in Quartz will build courage and help you to stand by your choices and decisions. Sodalite will help you to understand and speak your truth.

Helpful essential oils?

Young Living’s Believe or Common Sense essential oil blends are good choices this week. Believe works to boost our self-confidence and self-belief.  Common Sense oil is a super stress-buster that will help with allowing you to become clear about what you want, and to feel secure with your choices and decisions, especially around change. If you want to make your own combination or use a single oil, choose from grapefruit, basil, geranium and frankincense. Use one to two drops of each in your diffuser – they blend beautifully together.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for a you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

 

My Whole Life I Was Wrong

Image from Olaalaa.com

Image from Olaalaa.com

“If I am right, Thy grace impart
Still in the right to stay;
If I am wrong, O, teach my heart
To find that better way!”
~ Alexander Pope, Moral Essays

 

My whole life I was wrong. I laboured under the illusion that I needed to be perfect. More beautiful. Thinner. My relationships harmonious. My home a picture of neatness. I was sure that I needed acclaim, prizes, and a string of letters after my name.

Why did I want these things? Not to be better than anyone else. No. It was never that. I felt that I needed these things in order to be worthy. In order to be taken seriously. In order to be loved. In order to teach.

In order to have value.

No wonder then, that life ground me under her heel. That my family shattered, flinging me far from its arms. That illness stole my youth, my words, my energy and the fruits of my womb.

Image from WallpapersinHQ.com

Image from WallpapersinHQ.com

Thank goodness.

Each day now, I see the wisdom in that path.

Next weekend I shall begin a five day teaching; a residential retreat to help others to embrace and use their psychic gifts. My preparations thus far have involved meditations, contemplation, reflection, connection and lots of quiet time. My game plan this week mostly involves working from bed so that I shall be well rested and can give my all. I am not yet well. I may never be well in the way that others are well. I may become better and still be bound by limitation. But that doesn’t matter so much anymore. What matters is that I am still here, still in the game, and capable of doing what I came here to do.

Next weekend I am not concerned about how I shall look, what car shall carry me to my event, what clothes I wear other than that I must be clean and comfortable, and happy in myself. I will not be at my most svelte. My face is lined with both age and pain. I have no idea what colours are popular this Spring, or if the coral lipstick I favour is in right now. Who cares? I am not there to be judged on my appearance. It is not about me. I am there for my students. It is they who are the important ones. This event is for them. They are my focus. I don’t mind how they dress either. As long as they are warm, or cool, and unbothered by their outfits. They could be in their pyjamas for all I care. I want their attention, their passion, their hearts and minds. Within a minute or two of being together none of them will notice these external things either. We are coming together to immerse ourselves in things other than the external.

Next weekend the house I leave will be messy. There will be tasks still left undone. Any fashion style I may exhibit will be the result of my sister’s careful ministrations. Or a friend’s. All that matters for me is the work. All that matters for me is honouring the needs of my students, and the teachings of my Aunties and Ancestors, the whisperings of my own heart, and the collective energy and well being of my tribe as we come together. I have no energy for anything else, and these days, little interest for anything that does not support my values, my passions and my own well being.

I will tell my students what it has taken me this lifetime to learn. That living to please others is not important, and in fact can be downright dangerous to your own sanity and the happy playing out of your talents and gifts. That already, as humans, they are enough, but that to strive in the pursuit of knowledge or a craft that grows and shapes us is a worthy thing. A transformative thing. A very good thing.

Image from Tequila Cupcakes

Image from Tequila Cupcakes

None of us will ever be perfect. And anyway, perfection is a myth. But if we are prepared to do the work, some of us, one day, will be wiser. Kinder. More smoothed at the edges. More broken open by life, brightened by pain, luminous from loving and being loved.

Each, in our own way, having gleaned some knowledge, can then lift others up with one hand, as we steady ourselves or climb with the other.

Who ever could have known that in the brittle perfection of my youth I would loathe myself so much? Who could have ever imagined that in being thoroughly broken, I would come to love myself so dearly?