Gumboot Adventure and a Lyme Update


“One final paragraph of advice: do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am – a reluctant enthusiast….a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it’s still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a while and contemplate the precious stillness, the lovely, mysterious, and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this much; I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk-bound men and women with their hearts in a safe deposit box, and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this; You will outlive the bastards.” 
~ Edward Abbey

*Note: I recommend reading all the way to the end of this post. Past the pictures even. Oh yes, I do.

People are always asking how I am and I almost always say ‘fine, thanks’.

Truth is, I have advanced late-stage Lyme disease, and as with any chronic degenerative illness I have a catalogue of woes so to actually tell you how I am might take hours. Boring. I’m over it long ago. So ‘fine’ or ‘okay’ mostly does the job. I manage. Many days are great, and I am working, living and making the most of what I can. Happy, happy. I don’t dwell on my health or lack thereof.

Mostly.

I’ll level with you, though. The last few days have been rough.

I’m miserable right now.

I picked up a cough while visiting Ben’s mum in the nursing home. After four weeks it has steadily become worse and I can’t shake it. Because of that, my UTI flared up. I’ve been peeing five times a night and my bladder is agonisingly sore. I have been feeling myself slowing getting more run down no matter how good my self-care and health care has been.

So I started on new Chinese herbs two days ago for my latest infections. Great news – they’re working! Less great news? They are also killing Lyme Bugs so I am herxing like crazy as the Lyme dies and releases toxins into my already overloaded body. My eyes are red and streaming and only one is working, only one side of my face is mobile and responsive, my skin is on fire, I’m photophobic, I have stabby pains and night sweats and swollen glands and bone aches and head aches and nerve spasms and tender teeth and numb fingers and toes and neurological incontinence (I wee my pants for no reason!) and generally more misery than I remembered was possible. Yay? But fighting bugs, so yay!!!!! Now we’re working on getting the dosage correct so that I can manage the chest and UTI infections without going mad from herxing. Please don’t worry. I’m in good hands. (And yes, I have cried, screamed and whimpered often this past few days because I’d forgotten how truly awful herxing can be.)

I’m smiling here, honest! It’s just that only one side of my mouth lifts up right now…

In the midst of all of this misery I needed to go open a gate at the farm for Ben. I got out of bed, left my pyjama top on, threw on some shorts and my gumboots and slogged down to the Tractor Shed paddock.

Oh. It was so beautiful there in the misty cold afternoon. The ground was soft and green and lush. The trees shone with a vibrant light, and the birds sang. It felt good to be out of bed and outdoors.

When my short adventure was over I hastened back to a hot shower, fresh pyjamas and more rest.

It was worth it to have that little gumboot adventure.

I’m wishing you little adventures too. No matter how shitty life gets, a little tiny adventure, a small moment fully lived, a simple pleasure fully and mindfully experienced – that’s what makes it all more manageable. I rate my coping skills as high. And that’s one of the reasons why!

Biggest love and hugs from this tired and battered Lyme Warrior. I’ll be back at my best soon, I’m sure. Meanwhile, I’m happy to be herxy. (Well, mostly! xx)

PSS – Thanks if you scrolled down this far. Just a reminder that I am massively sleep deprived and in pain right now. So if you:

  1. suggest that positive thinking might be beneficial or a cure-all,
  2. offer to hook me up with your miracle-inducing network marketing product, or
  3. remind me that I somehow manifested all of this as a learning experience,
  4. or that this is karmic

then I can’t be held responsible for my actions. Need more help with this because you’re itching to do one of the above? Read this first.

3 Affirmations to Change Your Life

“Sometimes, little things make a big difference…”
~ Nino Varsimashvili

 

Every morning when I wake up, before I get out of bed, before I pray or meditate, before I do anything else at all, I say a little affirmation.

In fact, sometimes I will chant it like a mantra. In my head, or if I really need the energy boost, out loud.

I have three favourites to choose from, and all of them have been life changing for me.

Let me share them with you:

  1. Something wonderful will happen to me today.
  2. Every day in every way I am getting better and better.
  3. I am stronger than this.

Three short and simple sentences that can change your life too.

I love the magical feel of number one. Something wonderful will happen to me today. It has brought many joyful opportunities and synchronicities into my life. It’s fun. It helps you celebrate life. It sets up a vibration of joyful anticipation, honing focus and gratitude.

Number two also opens me up to allowing. It unlocks my ability to expand and grow. It has attracted teachers, new directions, inspiration, breakthroughs, healing and miracles. Every day in every way I am getting better and better.

When I am in the hole, when life is weighing me down and my coping abilities are stretched to the limit I pull out number three. I am stronger than this. I am stronger than negative people. I am stronger than trauma or tragedy. I am stronger than ignorance or lyme disease or whatever other crappy life circumstances I am currently dealing with. I am stronger than this.

I also have an embarrassing affirmation confession. One of my most spectacular self-evident affirmation successes came from a challenge I set out to the Universe from a place of great skepticism. You can read about my ‘secret power’ affirmation here.

My Embarrassing Affirmation Confession.

Why not work with these affirmations over the following week and see how they work for you?

Lots of love, Nicole <3 xoxo

Create Positive Change Program – Week 1

Image from www.jolie.fi

Image from www.jolie.fi

“For things to change, you have to change.” 
~ Jim Rohn, The Art of Exceptional Living

There’s change in the air. We’re finally shifting away from those old energies, those old patterns, and into the beginnings of a new space.

Change is always a little chaotic, and it can be unsettling and uncomfortable. But change also gives us our best shot at growth and at creating lives that are more satisfying and meaningful.

Today, we’re going to welcome the energy of change into our lives. We’re going to invite it in, and then dance with that energy.

Are you ready?

Over the next eight weeks we will work together to embrace this change, and to make it work for us. I’ve designed this program so that as you work with positive change you begin to anchor it into your lives.

Let’s start with our Embracing Change Toolkit.

1) Take out your large journal (or the electronic device of your choice!). On a clean page write the following:

Dear Universe,

All of my life I have wanted to move in this new direction. I have felt it calling me, I have felt it just beyond my reach, although I have not always been able to clearly define that place or what it might mean for me.

I have always known that I was destined for more – being more, loving more, sharing more, having more.

Although I am uncertain, although I still cannot name all the changes I desire, my heart is open to them if they be for my Highest Good.

Today I honour my yearning for change, and I offer it up to you, trusting that I will be guided to discover the next steps, that I will be drawn to inspiration and opportunity, and that I can create a life for myself which is more expansive, more aligned to my purpose, more in flow.

My commitment to you is that for the next 8 weeks (and beyond) I am willing to explore and open to the possibilities of change, and to celebrate the many Blessings I already enjoy.

With love and gratitude,

_____________________________________

(insert your own name here)

This large journal is where we will do all of our musing, exploring and pondering. It’s also where we’ll write our homework answers, and place our inspired thoughts and ideas.

2) Now take your small journal (or electronic device). On a clean page write:

This Blessings Book is the property of 

_____________________________________

(insert your own name here)

Each day, write down three blessings in your life – three simple things that you are grateful for. The Blessing can be anything for which you are thankful.  It can be a big thing or a small thing, it can be from the present or the past, but you must be sincere in having gratitude for this thing in your life. You can do this at any time during the day, but do it every day! Try to come up with new things each day. The more you look, the easier this gets.

Write them like this: Today I am thankful for (the blessing) because (write down a simple reason). eg: Today I am grateful for my dog because he always gives me so much love.

When we count our Blessings we are inviting positive energy into our lives and putting ourselves into a receptive and abundant state of mind.

3) Using your eight little rocks: (PS: Don’t you love these little heart-shaped rocks that were given to me by my beautiful friend Nerida!)

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Select your first rock as an Affirmation Stone. This week you can carry it around with you, or place it somewhere where you can see and hold it every day. Each week the process will be the same, but using a different stone.

Pick your first rock and hold it in your hands. Now think of something in your life that you want to change. Affirm that as a statement of declaration to the Universe.

Here are some examples:

I choose Health.

I choose to have Boundless Energy.

I choose Abundance.

I choose Positive Cash Flow.

I choose to be Loved.

Each day hold that stone in your hands and repeat your declaration, out loud, or in your mind. You can do this just once, or as many times as you like. Say your declaration with enthusiasm and commitment. This simple act of declaration begins to align you with this energy, opening you to more of this thing in your life.

4) Working with your Gratitude Rock:

gratitude-rock

The Gratitude Rock anchors positive energy and gratitude at the end of every day.  You can carry your stone with you, or leave it beside your bed.  At night, before you go to sleep, hold your Gratitude Rock in your hand.

As you hold the stone say to yourself I am richly Blessed. I have an Abundance of Good in my life.  Then hold in your mind one or more image of a thing you have been grateful for today.  It doesn’t matter if your review your Blessings from your Blessing Book, or add in something new.  Swell that positive energy up in your heart like a beautiful golden light, and give a heart-felt Thank You, Thank You, Thank You to the Universe. Visualise a tiny shower of golden light travelling from your heart into your Gratitude Rock.

Now here’s the fun bit – imagine all of the other people who are taking part in this Positive Change Program with us – people from all over the world, just like you. Once again build up a strong positive energy in your heart, and then imagine shooting a stream of golden light out into the Universe to those people.

Say Thank you.  I Bless You.  I intend for you Positive Change, Love, Miracles and Abundance. Know that as you are saying this for them, they are also saying this for you. Feel that connection and gratitude and know that there is real love and support for you here. Place your rock back beside your bed, and go to sleep, cocooned in this good energy.

5) Homework

Change works best through action! To complete this Program allow a window of thirty minutes each week to complete your homework, plus five minutes at the beginning or end of every day. That will give you time to work on any activities I set you, to record your three daily Blessings, and to use your Gratitude Rock and Affirmation Stone.

journal-writing-11

This week, explore these questions in your journal. Don’t over-think it. Just let the words flow onto the page. Write as little or as much as feels right.

I need change in my life right now because:

One thing I would change about my health is _______ because ______:

One thing I would change about my work is ______ because ______:

One thing I would change about my personal life is ______ because ______:

One thing I would change about my thinking is ______ because ______:

One thing I’m really stuck on is:

One thing I’m really clear on is:

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And don’t forget to drop in and leave us some feedback, here or on our facebook page, to let us know how you’re going with it all.

Sending much love to you, ♥ Nicole xx

PS: If you’d like to review any aspect of this course, or start back at the beginning click here.

Simple ways to make your week look better

Image from www.forum.santabanta.com

Image from www.forum.santabanta.com

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.”

~ Marian Wright Edelman

 

Another Monday’s rolling around and that means that you have the opportunity, in small ways, to shape your week to play out differently.

Unless you won the lottery on the weekend or are about to embark on some stunning vacation, chances are that this week is going to look a lot like last week for you.

But there are some simple things that you can do to give this week a sense of greater meaning and satisfaction, so that by week’s end you feel a sense of being more in control.

These things are:

  1. One consistent small change, repeated daily.
  2. A small window of time to work on something important to you.
  3. A reward to look forward to.

The small change needs to be a positive step that you know will make a difference in your life. No grand gestures please – just make it something small, do-able and measurable.

Ideas include:

  • drinking 2 litres of water each day
  • cutting back smoking, sugar or coffee – make it measurable ie go from two coffees each day to one, from two sugars to one, from four cigarettes to two
  • eating fresh vegetables each day
  • tidying your desk and getting tomorrow’s to-do list done before you go home each day
  • cleaning up after dinner so you’re not greeted by a stack of dirty dishes in the morning

Life shoots by so fast – we’re already approaching the middle of the year. What dreams did you have for this year?  What did you hope to achieve?  This week, make sure to take a tiny step towards something that’s important to you.

That could be:

  • going to yoga one night after work
  • going to the library to get some research materials
  • cleaning out a closet
  • signing up for a class one night a week, or over the weekend
  • gathering materials for your project or craft
  • spending time with someone important to you

And finally – your reward! It’s life, people.  It’s meant to be enjoyed.  How does that look for you? Promise yourself that if you get through Monday to Friday with your consistent small change, and your window of time for yourself, that on the weekend (or Friday night) you’ll enjoy a small reward.

Some ideas to get you started include:

  • going to the movies
  • wandering through the weekend markets
  • going to a favourite store or cafe
  • going to the park, the beach or on a picnic
  • a drive in the country
  • a sleep-in
  • a visit to the travel agent for some inspiring brochures
  • taking yourself shopping, or for a haircut, a massage or a spa

Southbank Markets. Picture: Grant Parker Source: The Courier-Mail

Southbank Markets. Picture: Grant Parker Source: The Courier-Mail

No, this is not a plan for global domination, or for massively sexy and abundance-making overnight results.

But when we take small actions, consistently, and remember to nurture ourselves, take time for our dreams, and enjoy the simple pleasures in life – life becomes a lot more livable, and we find ourselves happier within our existing life circumstances.

Why don’t you try it for yourself?  There’s nothing to lose, and small course corrections, over time, often lead to huge positive life changes.

Sending much love to you for a wonderful week.  Love and Light, Nicole xx

Mother-Teresa-Quotes-Be-faithful-in-small-things-because-it-is-in-them-that-your-strength-lies.

PS – If you want a really cool tool to add in to your small changes this week, why not try one of my awesome affirmations.  At worst it will make you laugh, and at best, well… magic might happen!

Here’s the link: Nicole’s Very Cool Positive Affirmations