Selflessness or Self Sacrifice? – Monday Oracle 11 September 2017

“There are two kinds of guilt: the kind that drowns you until you’re useless, and the kind that fires your soul to purpose.”
~ Sabaa Tahir

Hello, Lovelies!

If you read my forecast for September, you’ll know that it’s a month of possibility and expansive energy, of change and curiosity, and of starting small projects that may take a long time, but that we care about deeply. Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts which the oracle card Guilt brings us this week.

So, what awareness does Guilt bring us this week?

The overwhelming message this week is to stop doing for others what they could do for themselves, and to use your time on what matters to you!

Expect strong emotions this week, and use them as your compass. Projects, people and places may call to you. Maybe you want to dive right in to a new art project. Perhaps you’re deep in a renovation and all you want to do is keep going while your energy is high. You may feel compelled to spend time in nature, or hanging out with a friend. Or maybe you’re the opposite and you’ll feel the need to disconnect and be on your own for a while to recharge your batteries.

You may also be feeling guilty, resentful or angry because there are relationships, duties or tasks calling on your time, and you’d rather be somewhere else, doing something else!

Your emotions will help to show you your priorities and what truly matters to you on a soul level this week. Look to what excited you or engages you. Tune in to any anger or resentment you feel too. That will also tell you something. If you are tired of being the one who puts in all the effort in a relationship, if you’re feeling guilty because you’re spending time with someone out of duty when you’d much rather be anywhere else, if you’re pretending not to mind supporting someone else when really you feel taken for granted – all of these situations show you clearly what isn’t working for you.

This week pay attention to your feelings and let them show you where to put more of your energy and where to put less. It’s not selfish to look after your own needs, and there is little point in wasting precious time and energy on people and situations who have little regard for your efforts.

If self-sacrifice means you are sacrificing yourself in order to please or appease others then the price is too high. Selfless giving doesn’t cost your soul – it fills you up with love or gratitude or satisfaction instead. Make sure your service comes from selflessness! (How can you tell the difference? Tune in to your feelings. Are you drained {self sacrifice} or filled up {selflessness}? There’s your answer.)

This week brings great emotional clarity about life priorities, but with that clarity may also come the realisation that you can’t keep doing what you’ve always done. It may suddenly become urgent for you to make changes that allow what’s important to you to take more space in your life. That’s okay. Honour your needs and make those changes.

Supportive crystals this week?

Ocean Jasper is a healing stone that promotes deep rest and relaxation, that attunes us to our feelings, and that gives us perspective and clarity with projects and situations. Rose Quartz is a stone of love and nurture – the crystal world equivalent of a great big reassuring hug, a soothing cup of tea and a best friend to hold your hand through life’s challenges. Amazonite will help you to bravely make changes.

Helpful essential oils?

Each of the following oils will work beautifully on their own for you this week, but they also make a delicious combination for diffusing. Frankincense elevates our mood and promotes spiritual connection and intuition, Lavender keeps us in flow and relaxed,  Ylang Ylang opens our hearts and is supportive when we feel anxious or overwhelmed, and Orange for joy, gratitude and optimism. To diffuse add 2 or three drops of each oil to your room or personal diffuser. You can find the oils here.

Image from www.fragrantica.com

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for a you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Guilt’, is from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Deck by Tori Hartman. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

Image from www.corporatelifecoach.blogspot.com.au

The Parable of The Sacred Plumber

Image from camcimcumcem.com

Image from camcimcumcem.com

“Anybody who has any doubt about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.” ~ George Meany

“If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber.” ~ Albert Einstein

 

Once upon a time there was a small village, much like every other village everywhere.

All of the people within the village had their own work to do. There was a dentist, a baker, a sausage maker, a psychic, some teachers, a herbalist, a dressmaker, farmers, writers, carpenters, the newspaper editor, and a whole bunch of other jobs.

Not everyone had the skills to become a doctor, and the people who found sickness unappealing were secretly grateful that they did not have that job. It was universally agreed that the pastry chef was inspired by angels, and the village masseuse was possessed of magical hands that could work miracles on sore backs and cricked necks, achieving what even the good doctor could not. The man who kept the sports field green and smooth loved his job, was enthusiastic about grass and lawn mowers, and read up on grubs and fertilisers. The well-tended field was one to be proud of!

Each person worked according to their talents and aptitudes. The talents each person possessed were considered their God-given gift. The villagers understood that using their talents would be satisfying and sustaining, would honour the giver, and would help contribute to the well-being of the community. There was a place for everyone, and a great diversity of talent. It was a pretty good system.

On a cold and blustery Christmas Eve, disaster struck at one house within the village. Mabel’s toilet backed up. To her horror, a terrible stench came from the bathroom, and muck started flowing out onto the floor. What was she to do?

At first she tried to fix it herself, but that didn’t help. Mable was a psychologist. Toilet emergencies weren’t really her thing. All she knew was that her mood was going from bad to worse.

Then she asked her husband. How do you expect me to fix it, he said. I am a musician. Shall I play my cello for the toilet in the hope that it becomes better tempered?

Image by Shawn Dorsch

Image by Shawn Dorsch

The next-door-neighbour was a web designer. She couldn’t help. The baker was busy baking bread for the next day. Mabel’s best friend, the funeral celebrant, could only suggest shutting the door and hoping for the best.

The situation became critical. The blocked toilet threatened to ruin Mabel’s planned Christmas Extravaganza. And the kids were worried that Santa wouldn’t stop at such a smelly house!

Finally it was decided that a plumber was needed. Did plumbers even work on Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve was a time when plumbers wanted to be with their own families – not fixing someone else’s stinky toilet disaster.

But fixing stinky toilet disasters is what plumbers do…

Finally Mabel tracked down a plumber who could come to their house. A few hours later the toilet was all fixed. The day was saved. The family would be able to celebrate in comfort after all!

Did Mabel say to the plumber ‘Oh, plumbing is your God-given gift. You can’t possibly charge money for that!’

No!

In fact, she expected to pay more, and was HAPPY to pay more, because it was Christmas Eve, and the situation was desperate. (If you’ve ever had a blocked toilet you’ll know what I mean.)

MORAL OF THE STORY:

You, just like every other person in the village, have a God-given gift, and a unique set of talents and experiences. These gifts and talents are meant to sustain you.

No-one expects a plumber to work for free. Especially on Christmas Eve.

The plumber’s talents are God-given, but so are yours!

Charge for your work, and don’t let people abuse your talents. Especially if you work as a healer, an artist or in any kind of helping capacity. We all have different things to share, and all of them have value.

And don’t expect other talented people to do work for you for free. That’s just not realistic or fair.

A Simple Exercise for becoming More Authentic

authenticity1

“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” 
May Sarton

 

Ask yourself a question, just one question – and sit in your heartspace to listen for the answer.

How can I be more authentic this week?

To put this another way…

What small steps can you take to better bring yourself into alignment with your best self, with the YOU that your heart longs for you to be?

 

Who do you aspire to be? What is your heart’s desire?

This week I’m encouraging you to simply BE a little more of that person you’re aspiring to be. Do you want to be more kind, more healthy, more sexy, more honest? Do you long to be a writer, an artist, a mother, or to grow a garden full of flowers and vegetables? Listen to your heart, which always knows.

Image by Judy Ferguson

Image by Judy Ferguson

Ask yourself the question – how do I align with that, how do I live in a way that helps me become more authentic?

Then be brave and take one small action which expresses this energy. Adjust your mindset to feel a little more that you are already becoming this best self, this vision of the future you, and live from that place. Every day.

One week of tiny adjustments can be the start of something deeply fulfilling. It’s a new week. It can also be the start of a new you.

mary-oliver-quote-www-sofreshandsogreen-com

 

Gifts to Give Yourself this Christmas

Image from www.girlintheredshoes.com

Image from www.girlintheredshoes.com

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

~ Dr Seuss

Christmas and gift giving are strongly intertwined. But isn’t it true that most of your effort, if not all of it, will be centered around giving gifts to others this year?

I’d like to suggest that in the spirit of giving, you also honour yourself. That’s not selfish – in fact, it’s marvellous because you are giving the world a happier, healthier YOU.

Here are some ideas for giving yourself Health, Wealth and Happiness. You might want to have your Journal ready, to write down your ideas and insights…

Health

Health is that space of feel-good flow where we enjoy abundant energy, sleep well, move easily and are in tune with our bodies. Choose any of these to wrap and put under the tree for yourself:

  • a walk in nature, somewhere beautiful, that touches your heart
  • a whole day in bed, to read, to sleep, to stretch and relax
  • a pantry or refrigerator stocked with food that truly makes your tummy and your body feel good
  • the gift of a regular time in your life for yoga, swimming, massage, riding your bike or anything else that heals and energises you
  • a holiday – one that you can look forward to, one that will fill you up spiritually and emotionally, one that will enable you to come home feeling uplifted and refreshed
  • a book, course or program that will teach you new and useful things about self-care, health and well-being
  • an appointment with a practitioner that can help you move back towards feeling your best – it doesn’t matter if this is you FINALLY going to your GP for a full check up, an acupuncturist, a naturopath, an allergy expert, a yoga master, a personal trainer, a counsellor or grief therapist – if you know you need help to heal let this Christmas be the year you get things rolling!
Image courtesy of www.coronaextra.com.au

Image courtesy of www.coronaextra.com.au

Wealth

Most of us worry more about money than anything else. Wealth is actually about more than just money though. Wealth is that glorious space of security and abundance, the feeling that we have enough, and some left over. Wealth is investing in ourselves.

This Christmas, make an intention to sort your finances out. If you don’t know how, don’t worry. There are many, many people, books and websites out there dedicated to helping people become financially responsible and secure. Get that worry about money sorted. It’s worth it!

Now, ask yourself, what does real wealth look like to you? Let go of images of fancy cars, and mansions with heli-pads on the roof. Think of a time when you were truly happy and care-free. Or what that space might look like to you. Wealth aligns our actions and our possessions with our values.

Here’s my personal top five signs of feeling wealthy:

  • Time to write, and a bag with a laptop, notebook, pens and some spare cash for coffee (my passion!)
  • Shopping at the farmers’ markets and then using my purchases to cook a meal big enough to share with friends and family (my ethics and ethos)
  • Friends and family I can phone, or catch up with for tea and hugs, when I need someone to talk to (my life-line)
  • Being able to donate to charities (my conscience/spiritual beliefs)
  • Knowledge – having books, the internet and access to education. Learning new things. Being able to enrol myself in a weekend workshop, or at University. Being able to make informed decisions because I’ve researched what I need to know. (my interests)

Make a top five list of your own signs of wealth, and find ways to include that energy in your life. How can you invest in yourself, your interests and your dreams? Can you find a gift in there for yourself this Christmas?

Happiness

Happiness is that state of mind we get from being (momentarily) free of worry, and in a place of grace and emotional abundance.

What makes you happy?

Look for people, places, activities, hobbies, music and those other things that nurture your soul and fill your heart. Write them all down. Search far back in your memories. Allow yourself to be inspired. Know that many of these things will be simple and cost little, or nothing.

If you’re unhappy, maybe it’s time to let go of something.  That counts as a gift too. We all have a right to feel positive and optimistic, peaceful and safe in this lifetime. Our happiness is as important as everyone else around us.  Perhaps your gift to yourself needs to be a decision, plans and action.

What can you shape from your happiness list to put under your tree this Christmas?

2012 is coming to a close, and for many, it’s been a rough ride this year. Give yourself a hug and choose yourself a gift. There’s brighter things to come. And you can start right now, by loving and valuing yourself. Merry Christmas!

Australian Native Flowers Christmas Wreath by Archara

Australian Native Flowers Christmas Wreath by Archara

PS: If you’re looking for a little extra inspiration, I recommend these posts:

30 Days of Gratitude to Change Your Life

Writing Ourselves into Awareness

Seven Gifts from Your Wise Self to You