Disturbing Dreams and Strange Comforts

“Use the wings of the flying Universe, 
Dream with open eyes; 
See in darkness.” 
~  Dejan Stojanovic


One of the things my Aboriginal Aunties taught me when I lived in the Kimberley was that night flying would become a very important part of my healing business. During the night while I was asleep my soul became untethered they said, and in the dreaming place it could travel wherever it was needed.

Since my twenties every night after my meditation I pray that my soul can be useful during the dream state. I ask that I can be of service. I trust that it can be so.

I use my nights to fly.

Many of my students and clients have reported me visiting them during the night, or appearing in their dreams. Their recollections always tally with my own. It’s something I can’t explain, but it is also something I have grown accustomed to – a new kind of normal, I guess.

Mostly it’s a positive experience. But occasionally it really throws me. Like the time I cradled a dying stranger in my arms. A man I later found out was real, and who had died on the other side of the globe in just the way it had happened in my dream.

Then there was the dream I had on Thursday night. The one that kept me from blogging yesterday.

In my dream all I know is that I found myself suddenly pulled from the quiet sky and into a streetscape. Everything around me was blurred except for this small bubble of space and time that I inhabited. I was on my knees on the ground, and beside me was a woman. Her confused face was tilted toward me, and I was holding her hand.

I know you are afraid, I said to her, but I am here with you. I am holding your hand and I am here with you.

Outside the bubble of peace we inhabited there was chaos. People were running. Screaming. I heard a series of bangs and the air smelled of metal and dust and something vaguely like a car’s overheated engine. Beneath my knees were pavers covered in lines. The pavers were warmed from the sun.

As I held this woman’s hand I felt a deep love for her. She was all that I could see. All that mattered to me in that moment. I felt her relax and then felt a sensation like a sigh escaping from her body.

Am I dying? she said calmly. Her mouth didn’t move. Her eyes no longer moved. I heard her voice in my head.

Yes, I answered. I knew it with all of my being. You’re gone already.

Oh, she said. I wasn’t expecting that.

I poured all of my love into her and connected her to the peace and love that was all around us.

At the edge of our bubble two women and a man appeared. I knew they were her family. There was so much love for her there in that moment.

Your people are here for you, I told her. It’s okay to go with them now.

She stood up, they embraced and then walked away without looking back. I stayed kneeling beside her body, holding her hand in mine. The bubble of peace dissolved and I was overwhelmed with emotion at the scene around me. So many more people hurt, so much emotional and physical devastation.

But before I could look around or do more I was awake, lying in my own bed.

Rufous, our young red pup, was standing over me licking my face furiously and nudging me with his body. When he saw that he had woken me he pressed his little body against me and kept licking me to reassure me. I wrapped my arms around him and he licked away my tears.

I couldn’t go back to sleep, shaken by my dream, so we went downstairs together and Rufous stayed pressed against me as I made a hot drink and then sat down to meditate and pray.

A little after dawn my husband found me. You okay? he asked, knowing that I wasn’t.

I shared my dream, and the vivid memory of the pavers on which I’d knelt.

When he showed me footage of what had transpired in Barcelona overnight I recognised the images straight away. Those same patterns on the ground matched exactly what I had just told him.

I don’t know what my night was all about. Or what really happened. But I hope that in my own way I was able to make a difference.

Whatever you do today, be kind. Live from love. Towards yourself and all people you meet. Holding you all in my meditations, prayers and with my whole heart,

Nicole  xoxo

Should You Ride In On Your White Horse And Save Them?

Image from www.dbeckham.cz

Image from www.dbeckham.cz

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”
~ Steve Maraboli


Recently I received a message on facebook that I thought it was worth answering here on my blog.

Random Question – What does one do with the compulsive need to ‘save’ people or fix things?? You know, when you can feel and sense everything bubbling away. The stuff they are not even willing to acknowledge. I get very burdened by that and have this burning desire to get it up and out and make it right, it’s not always good…..


I love this question.

Can you see any aspect of yourself in this? I know that this describes the way that I once lived in the world, and the way I used to feel about so many things.

It’s an especially big question for lightworkers, healers of all persuasions, coaches and counsellors, and people who are waking up to their own intuitive and spiritual nature.

Often, we can see a better way to do things. A fast way to fix something. A clear solution to someone else’s situation or problem.

As the author of this question wrote, sometimes you can see ‘stuff they are not even willing to acknowledge’.

So, what should you do?

Firstly, sit quietly in your own good self and ask yourself What’s this really all about?

Is it possible that you are simply very sensitive or perhaps even over-sensitive to emotions, energy and disharmony right now? Is the choice or behaviour or situation of another person causing you irritation, frustration, anger or great sadness? If that’s true for you then it’s best for you to go spend time in nature, to be alone for a while, to find some quiet time and space where you can rest, ground and unwind a little. When we get this sensitive we often react in ways that aren’t helpful for ourselves or others. Acknowledge your own emotional state. Look after your own needs first.

Perhaps your great big heart is simply stretched to bursting with worry and compassion. You hate to see this person suffering, or making bad choices, or causing suffering to others. In this case the best place to start might by using meditation or prayer for this person, and visualising them as transcending or overcoming their current circumstances in ways that allow them to be happier and healthier. Practice kindness and understanding. Know that this is their journey, and their learning. It’s hard to learn a lesson or to build skills and confidence in solving your own problems if someone else sorts it all out for you. Can you wait until they ask for help? Can you offer help, but be okay if they don’t take you up on that offer? Do all that you can not to sit in judgement, or to say things that will make the person feel worse about themselves.

Is it even your place to interfere? Of course, I’m not talking about walking past a person bleeding out in the street or whose house is burning down.  Rendering help to someone genuinely in need is always a good thing to do. But that is about being of service. That is about the Universe working through you in coming to the aid of another in a time of trial or crisis. It’s not about fixing what is broken in someone.

And lastly, do you find yourself focusing on everyone else’s pain points because you are avoiding something in yourself or your own life?


Some of my most powerful lessons have come through my own bad choices, wrong actions, overt need to please others, or plain carelessness. If I had been ‘saved’ or ‘fixed’ in any of those situations I would never have grown wiser or moved to the space beyond that place of stuckness or pain. Ultimately it was me who needed to see and own the problem, and to actively work on seeking a better outcome so that I could evolve to a space of greater wholeness.

As a lightworker you can be of service by offering to help, by supporting with kindness, by being a compassionate listener, or simply by allowing things to unfold and sitting in a space of love and non-judgement. By offering guidance when asked for advice. Life is messy and hard for all of us at times. Each of us are capable of acts of great ignorance, ego and stupidity. Hardship often happens when we least expect it.

All of us deserve love anyway.

Image from pinterest - by Christine Cheung

Image from pinterest – by Christine Cheung

This compulsive need to save or to fix? Check that it’s not coming from a deep insecurity and a need to earn love from others.

Check that it’s not coming from a place of standing on higher moral ground.

Check that it’s not coming from the instability that is always created when we step into the beginnings of psychic awakening and become aware of emotions, energies and thoughts in other people – in ways that can often be confusing for us, or make us feel as though ‘we have to do something!’

I have come to see that life is far more complex and multi-layered with meaning that I can rightly understand. Things that make no sense at all in the moment reveal wisdoms to us only years later.

We are all wounded. We are all vulnerable. We are all, at times, oblivious. And that’s okay.

When we view the world with loving eyes, and come from a place of kindness that seeks to understand and accept, we also begin to create a deeper sense of harmony and inner peace within ourselves. We lift ourselves up. We smooth our own ride through life.

I hope that helps.

I honour the place in you that so loves others, and that wants to alleviate their suffering and ease their journey.

Sending much love to you, Nicole <3 xx

Being Held By Nature

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“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
~ Albert Einstein


Here’s a little snapshot of the loveliness that is our retreat venue. The picture above is of the huge crystal grid set up in the middle of our work room. The pictures below are of the grounds that support us as we work and play.

A strong breeze has come up in the night, and the predawn sky is filled with puffy clouds, stars and that salty scent of the sea.

Here comes the sun…

Thinking of you all and sending much love,

Nicole <3 xoxo

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4am Meditations and what they mean to me…

Radiant Heart by Daniel B Holeman

Each morning I wake up just before 4am.  I stretch, yawn, and most times slip quietly out of bed to go meditate. My exceptions – if it’s freezing cold out or howling a gale I might sit up in bed to meditate instead.

At 4am the world is quiet. At 4am the world is so peaceful I can hear her breathing in and out. It’s as if time has been suspended in this space between sleeping and dawn.

I have come to love this time each day. Although I use many forms and methods of meditation, I always cover the same areas: I send Love and Light to friends, family and clients.  I meditate for my students – for their spiritual growth and connection, I send Peace, Love and Light into the World, and I work with a specific area of healing each day, for myself and for you.

I always conclude with gratitude and then sit open a while, waiting for any specific messages or energies.  This often leads to writing…

It’s no hardship to do this.  In fact, it fills me up.  Sometimes I’ve thought that it’s my daily meditation practices that keep me going, and keep me alive.

At 4am my heart is connected to the heart of the world. I feel the Oneness of everything, the largeness of our Spirits, and the true smallness of our worries.

Image from melodocinta.wordpress.com

If I could tell you one thing, it would be this.  You are Loved. And it’s not just me loving you.  At 4am, when I am meditating, I FEEL the love being sent around the world by others just like me.

So today, know that you are not alone.  You are in someone’s thoughts and prayers, someone is intending the best for you, someone has faith in you, and holds a vision of your best self, knowing that you are more than capable of being that dream you hold in your own heart.


And if you feel so inclined, why not join me and add your energy to my own? You can do this any time – not just at 4am.  Don’t know how? The simplest way is this: all you have to do is sit quietly, fill your heart with love on every in-breath, and then breathe that love out into the world on every exhale.  It will make you feel good. It will fill you with peace and love, and it will overflow from you, and into the world around you.  It really is as easy as that.


Some of you will doubt right now.  Some of you will be in a space where you think you need to feel better first, or more loving first, before you can add any energy at all.  I’ve come to understand that this is not the case. You were born to shine your Light. It’s natural. It will all come back to you.

When you are worried, when you feel small, when you feel that you can’t contribute and that life or circumstance is overwhelming, then meditating like this is the best way to make a difference.  For yourself.  For others. It works…  After twenty years of doing this, I KNOW it works.

If you are at the end of your rope, just close your eyes and breathe in love.  No need to breathe any out.  You go right ahead and fill yourself up.  When you’re brimful and overflowing again, then give back if it feels right.

This love is always here for you.  All you ever have to do is connect in, and it’s yours.  In fact, it’s been wrapped around you the whole time.

Image from fabiovisentin.com

Each of us is a Light in this world and although our individual Light may seem small, when we shine our Light – radiating positive energy and intent – we make a difference. When we join together as Lightworkers, the energy is magnified.  And this energy is magnificent.  Our Light makes a difference.  All ways. Always.

Bless.  Much love to you ♥ xx

The view of dawn when I open my eyes after a beach meditation at beautiful Byron Bay…