The Apology Fallout – Some Good News

“The best relationships in our lives are the best not because they have been the happiest ones, they are that way because they have stayed strong through the most tormentful of storms.” 
~ Pandora Poikilos

If you read my blog last week you’ll know that I received an apology from someone I’d known at College – ‘James’ (not his real name), a man whose behaviour with me had been less than stellar. You can catch up on that story here.

Yesterday I had a message in my inbox from James’ oldest daughter. We then caught up by phone.

She wanted to let me know that her Dad found my blog, and had read the post about him. He’d then left it open on his laptop while he’d gone out of the room for a moment. Meanwhile, his wife brought him a cup of coffee, saw the computer screen, read my blog and put two-and-two together. Her husband was the man who had assaulted me at College and then propositioned me a few days ago, even though both he and I are married.

The daughter found them arguing loudly, and as her parents fought her mother made her daughter read my blog too. The daughter told me she was appalled at what she’d read, but she was also angry at herself for never having said anything because her dad had done this kind of thing for years. So she yelled at both of them; her mum for putting up with her father’s poor behaviour and her dad for treating his wife so disrespectfully. She told her mum that unless her dad changed she should leave him. Then she stormed out and left them yelling at each other.

The result, now that things have calmed down? Her mum and dad are going to marriage counselling because James recognised that his attitude and behaviour were not who he wants to be or be remembered as, and he is not being the kind of man he would want his own daughters to marry. He loves his wife and he loves his daughters. He wants his marriage to work. He’s committed to change.

His daughter loves him very much and assures me that he has been a good dad and that her parents love each other although her dad’s behaviour has not always reflected that. She really hopes he changes. I do too. I’m holding space for a good outcome for them all.

Some of the most beautiful relationships I know have come through the hardest of times. I hope they find a way forward and rekindle that love, respect and connection. I wish them well.

Nicole xx

There’s a Problem With Your Mother – My latest psychic experience

“The phrase ‘Love one another’ is so wise. By loving one another, we invest in each other and in ourselves. Perhaps someday, when we need someone to care for us, it may not come from the person we expect, but from the person we least expect. It may be our sons or daughter-in-laws, our neighbors, friends, cousins, stepchildren, or stepparents whose love for us has assigned them to the honorable, yet dangerous position of caregiver.” 
Peggi Speers

 

I woke up this morning at 2.10am. I know it was 2.10am because I looked at my watch, bleary-eyed and thinking it was way too early to be waking up yet.

As I rolled over in the dark, ready to go back to sleep, I thought of Steve. Steve’s a client of mine. I haven’t seen him for maybe five years. I saw his wife maybe two years before that. Why was I suddenly thinking of Steve?

In my mind’s eye I saw an elderly woman lying on a bathroom floor, frightened and frail and unable to stand. She must be Steve’s mum, I decided. Now what would I do?

I hauled myself out of bed and came into my office, where a staff member has recently returned a large box of my paperwork. There were two huge manilla folders filled with client profile sheets, none of them in order, and I knew Steve’s details would be in there somewhere. I flicked on a light and sat down to go through the hundreds of pages. It took me ten minutes but eventually I had his number. I called it, and it rang and rang before finally going to message bank. I left a message to call me back immediately.

But as soon as I put the phone down I knew I’d need to try again. So I called back. Me calling a man I’ve met twice, at 2.30am on a Saturday morning. Steve picked up on the second ring.

‘Oh, you’re that Nicole,’ he grunted. And then he swore at me.

I get it. It was the middle of the night, and I’d just woken him from a deep sleep.

‘Steve, I’m sorry, but this is an emergency. Your mum has had a fall, and she needs help. Can you go check on her?’

‘Mum’s dead,’ Steve said. And then he swore at me again and hung up.

For a moment I didn’t know what to do. The image of the old lady came to me again. She was crying and distressed. I rang Steve back.

As he swore at me I kept talking, describing the tiles on the bathroom floor, and the layout of the room.

He stopped swearing. ‘That’s Karen’s mum’, he said. ‘Sh*t! Why didn’t you say so?’

‘What do you call your mother-in-law?’ I asked.

‘Mum,’ he said, and then he went quiet for a moment. ‘Sorry, Nicole. Look, she lives the next suburb over. I’d better get round there.  I’ll call you back, okay?’ And then he hung up.

I couldn’t go back to sleep. I got up and meditated, put a load of washing on, and waited.

At 5.30am Steve called back from the hospital. His elderly mother-in-law, Beverly, had slipped in her bathroom and fallen over, breaking her hip and her wrist. She’d been on the floor for almost two days. She was in surgery now and Steve was waiting to see her when she came out and was allocated a room.

Then Steve told me that he and Karen were undergoing a trial separation. Karen’s overseas on a holiday so no-one’s been checking on Bev. Steve hadn’t seen Bev since he and his wife split up late last year. And he’s only been talking to Karen and his adult kids via text message.

While he’d sat on the bathroom floor beside Bev, waiting for the ambulance, he’d promised her that he would talk to his wife. Karen still loved him, Bev had said. They all still loved him. So Steve rang Karen and they talked for an hour. He still loves her too. They want to find a way to work things out.

Steve rang off, promising to update me on Bev’s progress and wanting to book a session for himself and his wife, who is going to catch the first available flight home today.

I made myself a pot of tea. It’s going to be a long day and I haven’t had much sleep. But Bev is taken care of and Steve and Karen are talking again and there is hope where there was none. So, all in all, it’s been a good start to my weekend!

Look after each other, and yourself. Much love, Nicole ❤ xx