Letting Go – Do you need to? How to decide!

“Be brave and let go. Let go of fear, and pain. Stop holding to the thing that is tearing you apart. While you hang on, grimly gripping and clutching this to you, you deny yourself freedom, new gifts, love. It is madness to presume that you are more wise than the Universe. Let go. Trust.” ~ Nicole Cody

 

There are so many reasons why we struggle with letting go.

Some of us don’t like to fail – if we say we’re going to deliver, if we take a marriage vow, sign up for a deadline, have ethics that are all about family or mateship, hold strong religious or spiritual beliefs, made a public proclamation about a certain thing, have other people telling us that this is what we need, then we may hold onto a person or situation longer than necessary.

Sometimes we spend our lives thinking about everyone else; not wanting to let people down, wanting THEM to be happy even if we must sacrifice something or all of ourselves to do that. Perhaps we have been raised to see this as worthy behaviour, or the way to be lovable – earning love through good deeds and sacrifice.

Sometimes we become so fixated on achieving the end goal that we stop asking ourselves the right questions: “Does this still serve me?  Does this still honour me?”  “Did it ever…”

Sometimes we’ve let something define us for so long that we no longer know who we are without that thing in our life. Even if it’s killing us or making us miserable.

Sometimes we let our heart rule our head. Sometimes we let our head rule our heart. And it’s not making us feel good. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Or maybe we are afraid. Afraid that if we let go nothing will ever come to replace it.  Afraid that people will judge us or turn away from us, or leave us. Afraid that if we let go, the thing might suddenly come good, and all our struggle will have been worth it.

Sometimes we think we don’t deserve any better.

So how do we know when we need to let go?

When duty is the only thing that drives us and all the joy has faded from our lives. When we’ve forgotten the reason we signed up for this in the first place.  When we’ve become indifferent to life, our relationship, this thing… When our health is in tatters, when the person in the mirror is a stranger, when our finances are in ruins, when we’re choking down anger and resentment on a daily basis, when we are no longer a person we like or believe in, when we’ve lost ourselves, it’s time to let go.

When we have gotten to a place where everything is hard, everything is dark, where we can see no place in our lives for hope, or joy or happiness, then it’s time to let go. When we can no longer keep our eyes open and our hands on the wheel, and we’re popping pills to keep going, white-knuckled from fear and exhaustion, it’s time to let go.

When it’s in the past, where we have no way to change it, we need to let go.

Why do we need to let go?

When we are in struggle, we are out of the flow of Universal Good. In that place where we are battling against the current of life we exhaust ourselves, and often have nothing to show for our efforts. It is all hard, hard, and harder.

When we surrender and let go, we stop swimming against the current. Life picks us up and supports us and begins to move us in a new direction. There is a wisdom and grace in the Universe that far exceeds our own.  It we can only trust and let go, finally, we can begin moving towards a better future, to new opportunities, new relationships, new adventures.  We give ourselves a fresh start.  We give ourselves a chance to be happy, a chance to find ourselves and to open ourselves to bright new possibilities.

Even if that means for a time we must sit alone, hands empty…

How do we let go?

Sometimes we need to ask for help. It’s not important to have the answer, it’s only important to have recognised that we need to change. There are many skilled and caring people in the world who can help you make the shift once you’ve decided that it’s time.

Sometimes we will already know what to do.

All change requires effort, but change is possible. If you know you’re unhappy and you can longer work out why,  imagine the current choices and relationships in your life. Imagine the problems. Now imagine removing them. Is there a sense of loss or panic, or a sense of relief? Sometimes it’s as simple as that.

Sometimes we only need to put our burdens down for a time. When we’ve rested, or found someone to share the load, then we find we want to continue, that we can continue.

So many times we let go of the job, and we land on our feet. We let go of the relationship, and we meet our soul mate. We pack up and go, and an unexpected direction leads us to a happier and more fulfilled life, unlike anything we could have imagined for ourselves.

When not to let go

You’ll know it. It’s as different a feeling as night is to day. This is an energy within you infused with light, hope, clarity, determination, strength, courage.

It’s the thing that helps you keep swimming, towing a drowning soul with their head above water, when you are both exhausted. It’s the thing that helps mothers lift a car to release their trapped child. It’s the voice inside you that tells you to call someone, or turn up at their house, or dash into a burning building. It’s the conviction that helps you stand by someone when you believe in a better outcome for them but they are in a place where they can’t yet see it for themselves.

That’s the energy of Love. That’s the feel of God as our wings. That’s Divine Grace working through us. There is something within us that will not give up the fight, something within us that KNOWS we can do it, that we will do it. That we would rather do this and die trying than to walk away. This is a feeling of being energised, vital, alive, burning with a seering focus.

Image from www.thewinchesterfamilybusiness.com

 

Tune in.  How are you feeling? Answer yourself honestly.  Make a decision.  Trust…

I’m holding you in my daily prayers and meditations. You’re not alone in this. I’m with you, and I believe in you,

All my love, Nicole ❤ xx

A Week For Letting Go – Monday Oracle 11 June 2018

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” 
Ann Landers

 

Hello, Lovelies!

June is a quieter month energetically – one that invites us to spend time with loved ones, time on ourselves and our wellbeing, and time resting, recharging and doing what we love. Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of inspiration which the oracle card Eight of Hearts brings us this week.

The energies this week support a gentle letting go of the things that have been weighing us down.

There doesn’t need to be a struggle or a big dramatic scene. In fact, the very best kind of letting go is one where we decide to let something go with grace and ease.

Eight of Hearts reminds us that letting go lightens us energetically. It feels good to let go of the things have burdened us. Whatever it is that is dragging you down, keeping you stuck or sad or sick, be prepared to let go this week. Decide you don’t need to keep thinking about your ex anymore. Decide to stop smoking and then do it. No need to make a big fuss. No need for big declarations or public posts about your decision. Just decide, make a plan, act.

Decide that you don’t need to keep eating food that makes you feel bloated and tired. Then stick to it today. Repeat again tomorrow. And if you mess up forgive yourself and then keep going. Decide that you’re going to sing or write or paint or dance just because you want to. Decide to clear your clutter. Decide to let go of thinking you have to do everything yourself.

Decide that you don’t need to stay in a bad relationship. Decide that you don’t need to stay in a lousy job. Decide that you don’t need another family Christmas where everyone ends up fighting. Decide to get a cleaner. Decide to get your tax done. Decide to see the doctor.

Letting go is an act of empowerment. And when we let go, and remain empty for a while, better things come and fill the void we have created, because as we lighten our energy from the letting go, things of a lower vibration will no longer be in alignment and we’ll stop attracting them. Letting go in one area often brings opportunities, miracles and advancement in another.

So this week, lighten up by letting go!

 

Supportive crystals this week?

Smoky Quartz keeps you grounded, gifting inner strength and the ability to
listen deeply to your own needs. Labradorite encourages self-care, supports empathy and intuition, and is a gentle and reassuring stone for developing psychic ability. Sodalite will help you express your truth in thoughts, words and actions. Garnet (pictured) will gift you courage and determination, and reconnect you to your passion.

Helpful essential oils?

Young Living has a blend called Release which is perfect for this week’s energies. It is an uplifting and nurturing blend of Ylang Ylang, Lavandin, Geranium, Royal Hawaiian Sandalwood, Grapefruit, Tangerine, Spearmint, Lemon, Blue Cypress, Davana, Lime, Ocotea, Jasmine, Matricaria, Blue Tansy, and Rose. It’s an essential oil we use on our retreats to help participants let go of emotional trauma, negative thoughts and beliefs, and old energies and emotions that have become stuck. I love it. It’s like an energetic broom to sweep away the dust and cobwebs.

Apply it to your pulse points at wrist, neck and over heart like a perfume. Place a few drops in your bath water. Diffuse it. One of my favourite uses is as a centering and reconnecting pick-me-up. Put a drop in the palm of your hand, rub hands together and then inhale the aroma. (Here’s a simple three-minute meditation you can do using geranium or any of your favourite essential oils – click here)

If you can’t get hold of Release then use any of Rose, Jasmine, Geranium or Blue Cypress this week.

Need an extra boost of encouragement? Try Young Living’s Believe essential oil blend. It’s fabulous in your diffuser while you work, or as a quick pick-me-up with a three-minute meditation. Believe is uplifting and promotes confidence, spiritual connection, clarity and belief in ourselves. It also helps us to let go of fear, doubt and old emotional pain and hurt.  I often use this oil when I am creating, writing or journalling, or working with cards for myself. 

 You can find the oils here.

June Workshops and Pop Up Shop:
If you’re looking for some extra support for your spiritual journey come check out my upcoming Pop Up Shop, Channelling Night and One Day Workshops in Brisbane 29 June to July. On Saturday June 30 I’ll be teaching Foundation Spiritual Practices (the things I used to develop my own psychic and intuitive skills, self-awareness and compassion), and on Sunday July 1 I’ll teach Meditation and Mala Making (this second workshop is brilliant if you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, stuck or suffering from anxiety or depression). No matter what level you’re at I’ll have something for you on my program. More details here!

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Eight of Hearts’, is from the Inner Child Cards – A Fairy-Tale Tarot. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

 

Time to Let Go and Move On – Monday Oracle 22 May 2017

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
~ Steve Maraboli

Hello, Lovelies!

Here’s the oracle card I have chosen this Monday, and my take on the energetic outlook for the week ahead. I use any oracle or tarot cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. ‘Release’ is from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Deck by Tori Hartman.

If you read my forecast for May, you’ll remember that May brings beautiful heart-nurturing energies, helping you to move towards love, forgiveness, inner peace and emotional freedom.

So, what gifts does Release bring for you this week?

We are often weighed down in life by emotional burdens, especially in relation to our past. These burdens take the form of  anger, fear, loss, shame, guilt, rejection, hate, resentment, judgement, abandonment, failure, injustice, poor decisions, mistakes, sorrow, pain.

This week we are encouraged to let go of the past. To forgive. To walk away. To close doors. To move on.

Why do we need to do this? Not for others. For ourselves. We can end up living in our heads, living in the past, wasting all of our precious life force on what was or what could have been. What we could have said or done differently.

But we can’t change the past. Our power lies in this moment. And when we can forgive and let go of the past so many things can change for us. So many things can open up or come into our lives.

Walking away from old patterns and behaviours that hurt us, diminish us or derail us. Yep, Release speaks to the support available for you this week to address these things.

Release is also about turn-arounds. Draining and negative situations will come to a close. Solutions will be found. New perspectives and knowledge will become available. Help will show up. If you’ve been looking for a sign, perhaps this is it!

It’s a week for us to embrace hope, love, forgiveness and compassion. A week for us to remember that we are not alone, that answers can be found, that we can move forward, and that we are truly loved.

Supportive crystals this week?

Rhodonite is great for supporting us to follow our hearts. Snowflake Obsidian will help to remove old negative self-talk and replace it with optimism. Amazonite gifts us courage to speak the truth and to act from truth.  Red Jasper will keep you grounded and emotionally supported if you need to move through trauma or anxiety in order to make changes.

Helpful essential oils?

Young Living’s Release essential oil blend, or a combination (or singly!) of any of Ylang Ylang, Geranium, Frankincense and Lavender. Release essential oil blend smells grounding and uplifting. We use it as a working tool on our retreats to help facilitate emotional clearing and spiritual shifts. Just rub a drop together in the palms of your hands and then breathe in and wipe through your aura.  A few drops in the bath are wonderful too. You may want to dilute with a drop or two of a base oil such a sweet almond or coconut before applying directly to the skin. Rub onto the back of your neck for instant effect. It’s my oil of choice in my diffuser this week. You can find all the oils here.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for a you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

You might find these posts helpful too:

Knowing When To Let Go

What To Do When You’re Forced To Let Go

The Art Of Surrender

How To Deal With Toxic People

Burning The Past – A Ritual For Cleansing Pain

Get Yourself An Ugly Journal

The Art of Surrender

Image from Lucie Chen

Image from Lucie Chen

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”
~ Eckhart Tolle

We’ve all surrendered before. To music, to love, to pleasure. It’s something we welcome – losing ourselves in the moment, merging ourselves with the emotion, the sensation, the grand scheme and the minutia. We give in, we let go, we surrender to the flow.

But what about when life isn’t going so well?

How often do we fight against where we are at?

How often do we resist the space we find ourselves in?

No. I will not be sick. NO. I will not be upset.  I will not be helpless. I will not be weary. I will not be uncertain or directionless. I will not be devoid of inspiration. I will not be apathetic or depressed, exhausted or miserable. No. NO. NO!

Immerse by J Derek Howard

Immerse by J Derek Howard

Oh, sweetheart. You are where you are…

Stop fighting.

Because life, you see, is what it is. You are where you are.

Why resist the truth of this moment? Why keep swimming upstream?

You are where you are.

Surrender to what is. Surrendering is not condoning this space. It is not you saying to the Universe YES, I WANT THIS AWFUL PAIN. I WANT THIS FAILURE. Or even, I DESERVE THIS TERRIBLE THING.

Surrender is simply letting go.

Right now I am sick. Right now I am hurting. Right now I am lonely. Right now things aren’t going so well…

Drop back into that river. Let the river carry you.

And it will.

When you stop fighting and let go, it becomes easier. The river carries you. You can merge with the fullness of the moment. You own the feelings. You own the truth of what is.

As you stop the struggle, be it an emotional, physical or spiritual one, you may find that you sink like a stone. Don’t panic. Haven’t you ever sunk deep into love? Didn’t you do that with reckless abandon?

At the bottom of the river it’s so quiet and still. There’s room for your frightened soul to expand again.

And as you do, you’ll rise up. Soon you’ll be floating, and the current will take you.

One morning you’ll find yourself washed up on a new shore, bathed in sunlight, caressed by a gentle breeze scented with the sweet fragrance of new possibilities.

Stop fighting.

Let go.

Surrender to what is.

And know that you are beautiful, magnificent, courageous, loved…

Knowing When to Let Go

Be brave and let go. Let go of fear, and pain. Stop holding to the thing that is tearing you apart. While you hang on, grimly gripping and clutching this to you, you deny yourself freedom, new gifts, love. It is madness to presume that you are more wise than the Universe. Let go. Trust. – Nicole Cody

There are so many reasons why we struggle with letting go.

Some of us just don’t like to fail – if we say we’re going to deliver, if we take a marriage vow, sign up for a deadline, have ethics that are all about family or mateship, have strong religious or spiritual beliefs, made a public proclamation about a certain thing, have other people telling us that this is what we need, then we may hold onto a person or situation longer than we should.

Sometimes we are spending our lives thinking about everyone else; not wanting to let people down, wanting THEM to be happy even if we must sacrifice something or all of ourselves to do that. Perhaps we have been raised to see this as worthy behaviour, or the way to be lovable – earning love through good deeds and sacrifice.

Sometimes we have become so fixated on achieving the end goal that we’ve stopped asking ourselves the right questions “Does this still serve me?  Does this still honour me?”  Did it ever…

Sometimes we’ve let something define us for so long that we no longer know who we are without that thing in our life.  Even if it’s killing us or making us miserable.

Sometimes we let our heart rule our head.  Sometimes we let our head rule our heart. And it’s not making us feel good. In fact it’s quite the opposite.

Or maybe we are afraid.  Afraid that if we let go nothing will ever come to replace it.  Afraid that people will judge us or turn away from us, or leave us. Afraid that if we let go, the thing might suddenly come good, and all our struggle will have been worth it.

Sometimes we think we don’t deserve any better.

So how do we know when we need to let go? When duty is the only thing that drives us and all the joy has faded from our lives.  When we’ve forgotten the reason we signed up for this in the first place.  When we’ve become indifferent to life, our relationship, this thing…  When our health is in tatters, when the person in the mirror is a stranger, when our finances are in ruins, when we’re choking down anger and resentment on a daily basis, when we are no longer a person we like or believe in, when we’ve lost ourselves, it’s time to let go.

When we have gotten to a place where everything is hard, everything is dark, where we can see no place in our lives for hope, or joy or happiness, then it’s time to let go.  When we can no longer keep our eyes open and our hands on the wheel, and we’re popping pills to keep going, white knuckled from fear and exhaustion, it’s time to let go.

When it’s in the past, where we have no way to change it, we need to let go.

Why do we need to let go?

When we are in struggle, we are out of the flow of Universal Good. In that place where we are battling against the current of life we exhaust ourselves, and often have nothing to show for our efforts.  It is all hard, hard, and harder.

When we surrender and let go, we stop swimming against the current.  Life picks us up and supports us and begins to move us in a new direction.  There is a wisdom and grace in the Universe that far exceeds our own.  It we can only trust and let go, finally, we can begin moving towards a better future, to new opportunities, new relationships, new adventures.  We give ourselves a fresh start.  We give ourselves a chance to be happy, a chance to find ourselves and to open ourselves to bright new possibilities.

Even if that means for a time we must sit alone, hands empty…

How do we let go?

Sometimes we need to ask for help. It’s not important to have the answer, it’s only important to have recognised that we need to change. There are many skilled and caring people in the world who can help you make the shift once you’ve decided that it’s time.

Sometimes we will already know what to do.

All change requires effort, but change is possible. If you know you’re unhappy and you can longer work out why,  imagine the current choices and relationships in your life. Imagine the problems.  Now imagine removing them.  Is there a sense of loss or panic, or a sense of relief?  Sometimes it’s as simple as that.

Sometimes we only need to put our burdens down for a time.  When we’ve rested, or found someone to share the load, then we find we want to continue, that we can continue.

So many times we let go of the job, and we land on our feet.  We let go of the relationship, and we meet our soul mate.  We pack up and go, and an unexpected direction leads us to a happier and more fulfilled life unlike anything we could have imagined for ourselves.

When not to let go

You’ll know it. It’s as different a feeling as night is to day. This is an energy within you infused with light, hope, clarity, determination, strength, courage.

It’s the thing thing that helps you keep swimming, towing a drowning soul with their head above water, when you are both exhausted.  It’s the thing that helps mothers lift a car to release their trapped child. It’s the voice inside you that tells you to call someone, or turn up at their house, or dash into a burning building. It’s the conviction that helps you stand by someone when you believe in a better outcome for them but they are in a place where they can’t yet see it for themselves.

That’s the energy of Love.  That’s the feel of God as our wings.  That’s Divine Grace working through us. There is something within us that will not give up the fight, something within us that KNOWS we can do it, that we will do it. That we would rather do this and die trying than to walk away.  This is a feeling of being energised, vital, alive, burning with a seering focus.

Tune in.  How are you feeling? Answer yourself honestly.  Make a decision.  Trust..