Morning Rewards

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“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”  ~ Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

It’s still early. But already I’ve meditated. I’ve taken my morning ‘before food’ drugs. I’ve fasted and I’ve given vial upon vial of my blood to be tested for positive signs of health progress.

It’s time for a little reward. A well made latte.

I shall sit here on this golden morning and sip my coffee, savouring the aroma and flavour.

Then a day for me of doctors, specialists and various things of a medical nature.

But that’s later.

All that matters right now is that the morning is beautiful, and my coffee? Sublime!

I hope that in the day ahead you too find a few peaceful moments for yourself, a little time to nurture, nourish and just BE.

Much love to you, Nicole 🙂 xoxo

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Image from Heidi Lamberton

Image from Heidi Lamberton

Living like life means something!

Image from wallconvert.com

Image from wallconvert.com

“What day is it?”
It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
My favorite day,” said Pooh.” 
~ A.A. Milne

It’s a year since I first started my Lyme meds. I’d like to say that time has flown, but that would not necessarily be true…

Still, a year ago I was dying. I could barely catch my breath. My poor heart was about ready to throw in the towel. Things were grim.

Now I’m twelve months down the track, and that track certainly hasn’t been an easy one, but I’m hanging in. Sure it’s uncomfortable having to live through this drug therapy. It’s inconvenient being in pain, tired and muddle-headed. But hey, I’m still here.

I’m still here.

Today I’m going to savour each moment. I’ll breathe the salty air of Byron Bay and draw it deep into my lungs. I will lie on the grass at the farm and feel the sun on my face and the earth beneath my back. Every sip of tea, every mouthful of food – I’ll honour it. I’ll let myself really taste it.

I’ll surrender myself to each moment. It doesn’t need to be special. An ordinary day is just fine by me.

It’s all good. The hurty bits. The sad bits. The boring bits. The lonely bits. The fun bits. The tasty bits. The loved-up bits.

It’s all good. And I’m so glad to be here.

Thanks for sharing the journey with me.

My wish for you today is that you take a moment and really BE. Just be in your skin. Just breathe in that air. Be present with the ones you love. Savour the ordinary. Savour the miracle that is your life. Will you do that for me?

Much love to you, and some squishy big hugs, Nicole xx

A little Solitude is good for the Soul

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“Language… has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone.  And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone.”  ~ Paul Johannes Tillich, The Eternal Now

 

If you’re energetically sensitive like me, then you might already understand the importance of time on your own.

Interacting with others draws energy from us. When we are speaking to others, emotionally supporting others, teaching others, healing, helping or even simply thinking about the needs of others, energy flows from us to them.

That’s okay. In fact, it can feel wonderful to give. For many of us, it’s a prime driver. We want to help, we enjoy reaching out and being here for others.

And of course we so often get energy back as we are giving. Especially with the ones we love it becomes a two-way flow.

Image from Transcendia

Image from Transcendia

Some people can actively draw energy from us too. Haven’t you ever come home from a social event, or ended a phone call feeling totally drained, and knowing that the other person went away feeling stronger and more uplifted?

Energy Vampires need to be treated with caution, or avoided, especially on the days when you feel weak, tired or unwell. You know who I mean – the people caught in their own dramas who constantly clutch at you as if they were drowning and you were their only support, people who undermine and criticise you, people who gaslight you, people who are totally self-interested, people who are always takers and never givers. Some of them may be co-workers, friends or the spouses of friends, but some of them may also be your own family members. Sometimes you may even need to end the relationship, or at least put some distance between you.

Energy-VampiresThat’s why a little regular solitude can be so refreshing.

Solitude – time happily spent on our own – recharges us, strengthens our aura and allows us time for creative and spiritual connection.

You don’t need large amounts of time if you make solitude a regular part of your day. But then again, I also recommend a big chunk of solitude every so often to help top you up and bring you back into balance when your coping mechanisms are becoming thin and worn from too much connection with others.

For many years now I have found my solitude by getting up early, while the rest of the house sleeps. When people and animals are sleeping they are disengaged from us, leaving us free to concentrate on ourselves completely.

Try this for yourself. If someone else is home, but awake (whether they are in the same room or at the opposite end of the house), the energy will feel quite different to that of them being tucked up in bed, sound asleep.

I wake at four each morning, meditate, do healing work, spend time in spiritual communion, and then I go to my desk and write. It’s my quiet time, and it anchors my entire day. Far from tiring me out to rise so early, I feel that it recharges me, and leaves me free to focus on whatever I like, without the need to be thinking of others unless I deliberately choose to do so.

As soon as one of my family wakes, I feel it, and the spell of my solitude is broken

I may then put my boots on and go for a walk around the farm. Even if the dogs come they usually race ahead, and are caught up in their own busy-ness, and by then I am ready for their company anyway.

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There are many ways to find a little solitude for yourself:

  • Stay up a little later or get up early, so that the house is yours and you can have some quiet time.
  • Take a journal or your ipad and go to a park, cafe or a library. Strangers won’t have the same energetic pull as people who know you, so you’ll still be able to enjoy some solitude even if the world around you is busy and full of life.
  • Go for a swim, a bike-ride, a run or a walk.
  • Get out into nature.

If you’re in need of a bigger break, take a day off and don’t fill it with friends and family. Let yourself be refreshed by time in your own company.

Take a holiday on your own, or check into a motel for the night. Not to feel lonely, but to feel spaciousness and that luxurious sensation of being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Note: this can be challenging for people who are used to making the happiness of others their constant priority but who aren’t in touch with their own needs. When faced with too much time on your own you may end up suddenly feeling lost, lonely and small, which is not the point of the exercise!

When we make time for ourselves, healing happens. Ideas occur. Creative inspiration visits. We remember what’s important and find clearer direction for ourselves, and answers for our problems.

A little solitude is a good thing. It restores you to yourself.

Wishing you some time for yourself today! Much love, ♥ Nicole xx

Image from freepeople

Image from freepeople

PS – You might also find these posts helpful:

How to deal with toxic people

Finding moments for yourself

Writing yourself into a brighter future

 

Simple pleasures

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“To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter… to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird’s nest or a wildflower in spring – these are some of the rewards of the simple life.”  ~ John Burroughs

Are you suffering from Broken Robot Syndrome?  If so, I have some ideas to help you heal, and to reconnect with yourself and the world around you.

Life doesn’t have to be complicated to be satisfying.  In fact, most of the things that I enjoy cost little or nothing. Down here at my farm I don’t need to look far to indulge in some of life’s simple pleasures. A glass of fresh orange juice from fruit grown in our orchard, or a simple salad with ingredients straight from the garden.

Juicing oranges

A long hot bath after I’m tired and muddy from a ramble through the paddocks.

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Fresh flowers – from a friend’s garden or my own – in jars, old vases and teapots around the house.  These ones are actually weeds and vegetables gone to seed…

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Lying in bed on Sunday morning, leafing through one of my seed catalogues, dreaming about what I will plant for the next season’s harvest.

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The feel of soft green grass beneath my feet as I sit on a lawn chair under a leafy tree, throwing the ball for the dogs to chase.

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Sitting on the veranda having cups of tea with friends.

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Time with a needlepoint project. (Have you signed up for my 2013 Creative Challenge yet?)

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Listening to a favourite CD as I do the washing up.

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A really good coffee and time for writing. Okay, I admit that empty plate did have a fantastic Chausson aux Pommes on it from one of my favourite French Patisseries at one stage…

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Watching the new calf frolicking.

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The main ingredients for simple pleasures are these: Slowing down, Awareness and Appreciation.  You might be surrounded by things that could give you pleasure but you won’t notice them if you’re always working, worrying, constantly updating your status on facebook, tweeting, texting, surfing the web, or ear glued to the phone.

Today and in the week ahead I invite you to take a deep breathe, slow down, unplug and pay attention to the world around you. What nurtures you?  What feeds your soul? What can you do to bring these simple pleasures back into your life.

Feel free to leave your ideas for simple pleasures below, where it can inspire and nurture others here in our community too.  Wishing you some simple pleasures today, Nicole xx

People will be who they are…

People will be who they are.

Sounds like a bit of a crazy statement doesn’t it, but if you ignore this truth it is often you who becomes crazy…

I have a friend who was in great emotional pain over her relationship with her mother. Each time they meet she came away upset, or disappointed. Her mother was always so critical. This had been going on for over fifty years. My friend kept hoping that just once her mother would be supportive, or approving.

Image from chocolate-fish.net

I have a friend who was in great emotional pain over their relationship with their partner. They went through a pattern of honeymoon and then abuse, honeymoon and then abuse, honeymoon and then abuse. My friend kept hoping their partner would change.

image from dhcs.act.gov.au

People can change.  And they can also, at times, act out of character, but…  mostly people will be who they are.

Each person is driven by their own beliefs, values, education, experiences. They will have their own pattern of behaviours and responses. Once you begin to understand this, life becomes easier. Relationships become easier. Why? Because when you accept what is, you can make choices based around truth rather than desire.

People will be who they are.  They will not be the way we hope they will be. They will not be the way we fear they will be. They will not be the way we want them to be, or expect them to be, or need them to be.

People will be who they are. This, of course, goes for us too, and this is the important bit.  We cannot change others but we can change ourselves.  We can change our responses, our expectations, our level of tolerance. We can also choose to walk away.

Knowing that someone behaves or thinks in a certain way, but wanting that to be different, sets us up for disappointment every time. Or perhaps worse.

If you are honest with yourself about the true nature of your relationship with another, you begin to create new freedoms around those old expectations.

My friend with the critical mother? She has accepted that her mother will never change.  She still spends time with her, and since she no longer waits for the approval or support, her relationship with her mother has actually improved.

My friend in the abusive relationship? Had some counselling, ended the relationship, and is now with a loving partner who treats them with kindness and respect.

image from phil-islands.com

Needing someone to be different, expecting them to change, also prevents us from loving and accepting the other person as they are, which is all anyone ever wants.

(How many times have you wished someone would love and accept you as you are?)

People will be who they are.  If this works for you, embrace it.  If it doesn’t change your expectations, or move on.

 

♥ Life is too short, and too precious, not to give yourself every chance at happiness. ♥

image from shutterstock.com