The Owl and The Night Sky

Image by Jonathan Gewitz

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
~ Shel Silverstein

 

I was totally spent yesterday. We’ve had some personal stress in the past few weeks, some health issues, some family stuff. And of course so have my clients. I’ve been working overtime supporting them. I’ve also been supporting my students as we move towards my Beginners Channelling Retreat this weekend. It’s been an intense month.

The energies of April have brought all manner of things to our attention, things that we must face in order to move forward or to break free. For those of us doing the work, the work has been huge. (Don’t worry, May is much more gentle and it will be here soon!)

Last night I was heavy with emotion and exhaustion so I went and sat in the cold Autumn air, on a chair under a big tree.

It was quiet. The skies above me were heavy with stars.

And then the wonder happened.

A huge storm, out to sea, lit the night.

Huge vaulted clouds lit up with silent rivers of light. Sometimes white. Sometimes orange. Small displays and then an occasional grand one.

The sky would go dark. Night would go on. Then bursts of light and grandeur again. It was spectacular.

As I sat in the dark I heard a sudden whoosh of wings and a powerful owl flew down to the ground just feet in front of me. She alighted again with a small creature in her talons and flew over to the clothesline to eat her dinner.

Such wonder on an otherwise ordinary night.

That’s the thing about wonder and miracles. They are all around us, all the time, if only we have eyes to see.

I’m holding you all in my prayers and meditations as we move through these last confronting and cleansing days of April. Be open to change, my lovelies, and know that it is for the better, no matter how hard it may be.

All my love, Nicole xx

Lovely, Lovely 3am

moonlight

“You were born and with you endless possibilities, very few ever to be realized.  It’s okay.  Life was never about what you could do, but what you would do. ”
~ Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, & Grumblings for Every Day of the Year

 

Every day, since I was around twelve years old, I have risen early to meditate, to write, and to reflect on my day before the rest of the world wakes up. That quiet time is my gift to myself, and I have come to value it as sacred time.

Today, the day after my birthday and the first day of my new year, I am awake more early than usual. I wanted to reflect on my year ahead. What that might mean for me. How I would shape these coming days. What choices I might make.

If I am the Captain of my own ship, then I must set my own direction.

I grew up in an era where I was told that girls could do anything. That my life would be a whirling dance party of endless opportunity. That makes me smile now, thinking back. There is such hope and breath-taking naivety in that assumption. Perhaps it’s true that you can have anything. But in choosing one thing it often precludes others. No-one ever talked about that!

Image by Vladimir Pervunesky

Image by Vladimir Pervunesky

So here I am, standing in the doorway of another year. What a privilege to have these days stretch out before me. Having lived on the cusp of demise so long, it buoys me up to think that the quality of these next three hundred and sixty-five days may be better. That I may enjoy improved health, more energy, and a brain that can grapple with the bigger questions.

Life has certainly been a big teacher for me. Lyme disease, left undiagnosed so long, has until recently left me rendered down to so few possibilities and functionalities.

This year, as I contemplate the advancing year and how I may best use it, I am able to be steered by my values. What’s important to me. What actions, philosophies and relationships matter to me.

There is great comfort in that. And that comfort has been won by so many years of early mornings, of quiet reflection, of painful self-examination and wordless wonderings.

I have whittled down all of those endless possibilities into a handful that have meaning for me. Later today I will sit with my journal and a pot of tea, and create a map for myself, steering me toward what matters, and away from what doesn’t.

How about you?

Do you ever gift yourself time for reflection? Do you actively make choices about the person you wish to become, and the life you desire to lead?

It’s not too late. You can start today.

There is something precious in honouring the finite choices of our life. There is power in choosing this thing over that thing. Our choices are how we shape ourselves. Making choices consciously is how we claim back our emotional and spiritual centre, turning life into a delicious adventure.

Your life, like mine, is a precious gift. I’m excited to be unwrapping the beginnings of another year.

Bless xx

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The Voice

“Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.” 
~ Lauren Kate, Torment

Yesterday afternoon I lay down for a nap and fell into the deepest, dreamless slumber.

A deep male voice woke me up. It was authoritative. And loving. It said this:

“Remember this. This is the sickest you will ever be. This is lowest you will ever be. Look at yourself. Remember this. Tonight you shall turn the corner.”

I felt so calmed by that voice.

Staggering out of bed I went to the bathroom and peered into the mirror. Here I was. Sick, fat, dumb-headed, exhausted, miserable.

The words kept echoing in my head, tonight you will turn the corner.

Still half asleep I slipped on some shoes and wandered down the paddocks to the cattleyards where Ben was feeding the weaners. Sitting beside him on a hay bale I told him about the voice.

“Better take some pictures,” Ben said. So he pulled out his phone and snapped a few. “This time in a year we’ll be able to think back from some holiday somewhere and look at how far you’ve come.”

This morning I woke up and so much was still the same. I’m exhausted, sick, sore. I still have my little window of ‘me time’ before I take the first drugs of the day and descend back into hell.

But something inside me has shifted. The only way I can describe it is as a spark. There is a spark of golden light inside my chest, comforting and restoring me.

I can’t explain why, but I trust that voice. I feel that spark.

So.

Onwards…

In Defence of Fairies

The Forest Fairy – Image by Josephine Wall

Nothing can be truer than fairy wisdom.  It is as true as sunbeams.  ~Douglas Jerrold

Those of you who know me will also know that I believe in fairies.  In fact, you’ll know that I count a fairy as one of my dearest friends.

I found myself in an odd position on the weekend. I’m writing a novel with fairies as some of the main characters. And someone I hold in esteem told me that writing about fairies was not only unimaginative, but that children were no longer interested in such things.

Hmmm, I thought to myself.  I know I’m not a child but I’m interested in fairies.  And many of my friends and clients are too.  In fact, whenever I write about fairies I get flooded with enquiries about them, and how people might get to know one or attract one into their garden.

As this learned person talked to me, I felt myself becoming sadder and sadder.  Not only because they were so disparaging of fairies and all things magical (which is of course, the world I live in, although they did not know that), but because I believe fairies deserve to be known, and appreciated, and dare I say it, loved…

Not that fairies care.  They shall go on happily, regardless of us.  But we, we are the poorer for not knowing of them and the work they do in the natural world.

And if there is no room for magic in our lives, and for the ability to believe in things we cannot understand, if there is no room for wonder, well then, what is the point of life?

Image from paganspace.net