Grown-Ups Get To Choose!

“We are always told that anyone over the age of eighteen should know what they are doing. The fact is, they don’t.” 
~ Rae Earl

One of the most important lessons I ever learned in life came from a trip to the corner store at the end of the street.

I was cooking dinner and realised I had run out of potatoes. Ben walked with me for the company and busied himself at the front counter while I rifled through the potato bin. He bought himself a bag of mixed lollies (candies), all counted out into a striped paper bag.

I paid for my two potatoes and then reached out for a sweet. ‘Hey,’ said Ben pulling the packet out of reach. ‘These are mine. If you want some, get your own!’ He was joking, but it made me realise something.

Lollies? I never bought lollies. I hadn’t bought a bag of sweets like that since I was a kid and my pa would give me fifty cents to buy some in the holidays. ‘Okay, I will!’ I said defiantly. It was wonderful to choose them, and on the way home I felt like a kid as I let myself eat a couple right before dinner – something my mum would never have allowed. By the time we got in the front door Ben’s bag was empty. I told him off for ruining his dinner.

‘Nic,’ he said, ‘I’m a grown-up. I can do what I want. I would have eaten them all before dinner or after dinner, but I ate them now because I felt like them and they were delicious. That’s the thing about being an adult. You get to choose.’

It might sound weird but that was a revelation for me. I’d grown up in a strict household, and I carried that strictness and all of those rules into my own independent life. But now there was no-one to tell me what to do. I could do what I wanted. I was an adult. I didn’t even have to eat my dinner if I didn’t want to. I could just eat my bag of lollies.

That freedom of being able to eat breakfast cereal for dinner, to not make your bed or to stay in pyjamas all day can be an awesome thing. But so often we only use that freedom adulthood bestows upon us to make childish or insignificant choices. The rest of the time we let life happen to us, or we make a choice once and think we can no longer make another. These July energies support change and I want you to understand that as an adult there are many other things you can use this superpower of choice on.

You can choose to give up smoking. You can choose to get a better job. You can choose to stay and work on a marriage with problems. You can choose to leave a bad relationship. You can choose to sell everything up and travel the world. If you’re stuck, if you’re unhappy, if something’s not working YOU CAN CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD.

What will you choose in July?

Much love, Nicole xx

PS – Need some help with your choices?

My new self-paced Journey of Transformation online course teaches you how to use your intuition and oracle or tarot cards to gain insight and guidance for life’s troubles or to get clear on your future direction. I show you how to do a ten-card spread and how to interpret each card to answer questions that will give you insights and clear guidance for your life. This versatile spread can be used for yourself and others and is a favourite of mine when I’m looking for more than just a superficial answer to a current challenge.

Everyone who has done the course is raving about it, and many have compared it to the kind of in-depth teaching I do during my exclusive retreats. It’s only $47 AUD and that includes over 2 hours of instructional videos, two guided meditations and a beautiful downloadable workbook. Click here to find out more.

Questions To Empower You On Your Health Journey

“When health is absent, wisdom cannot reveal itself, art cannot manifest, strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless, and intelligence cannot be applied.” 
~ Herophilus

This week’s energies support us on our health journey. (Read more about that here)

Health is physical. It’s how our body feels, how it moves, how it responds to things, how it behaves. It’s our mobility, our energy levels, our vitality when we get out of bed in the morning, our capacity to respond to stress, our ability to fall asleep and stay asleep each night. It’s how our body reacts to foods, smells, chemicals, mould. It’s our immune systems and our sensitivities. It is teeth and bones and muscles and gut and fertility and skin and eyes and ears and so many moving parts. Moving parts we usually only notice when they aren’t working so well all of a sudden.

Health includes mental health too. It’s important to tune in and check where we are at with our minds. Mental health is our resilience, our coping skills, our energy levels, our self-talk, our attitude and emotional state. It’s our self-trust and our capacity to solve problems and make decisions. It’s our relationships with others and our relationship with ourselves. It’s whether we feel lonely or connected, empowered or lost.

Health is our soul health too. It’s important to tune in to our spirit and sit in self-awareness here. Does our life reflect our values? Are we spending time on what matters to us? Does our job work for us? Does our relationship work for us? Are we honouring our Calling? Do we love where we live, what we do, who we hang out with? Is there space in our lives for us or are we living like machines, too busy and then exhausted.

A useful question to ask yourself this week is ‘How am I feeling right now?’ and then tune in to your body, mind and soul. Stay quiet and open. Notice where it aches, if it is tired, notice everything. What’s going on for you – body, mind and spirit? Be still and let your body show you.

If you’re really brave keep going and look at where you might be self-sabotaging. Get your journal out and ask ‘Why aren’t I writing? Why am I eating take-away each night instead of cooking? Why aren’t I going to yoga? Why am I drinking so much? Why am I too busy for my dreams?’ Or whatever other questions are appropriate for you.

We are souls in physical bodies having creative journeys through life. Health and wellness is about ALL of that.

Once you have a better awareness of how you truly feel right now, look for answers. Look for help. Look for where you can make changes or take action.

Don’t just make your life about supporting others – make sure there is room in your life for you.

Need help with this process? My new self-paced Journey of Transformation online course teaches you how to use your intuition and oracle or tarot cards to gain insight and guidance for life’s troubles or to get clear on your future direction. It’s a deep dive into self-awareness that is suitable for complete beginners and advanced students. The feedback from students already enrolled in this course has been amazing and their results have been too! It’s only $47 AUD and that includes over 2 hours of instructional videos, two guided meditations and a beautiful downloadable workbook. Click here to find out more.

Value yourself, my lovely. Take the time this week to tune in and get some answers for yourself. You’re worth it! Much love, Nicole xx

Letting Go – Do you need to? How to decide!

“Be brave and let go. Let go of fear, and pain. Stop holding to the thing that is tearing you apart. While you hang on, grimly gripping and clutching this to you, you deny yourself freedom, new gifts, love. It is madness to presume that you are more wise than the Universe. Let go. Trust.” ~ Nicole Cody

 

There are so many reasons why we struggle with letting go.

Some of us don’t like to fail – if we say we’re going to deliver, if we take a marriage vow, sign up for a deadline, have ethics that are all about family or mateship, hold strong religious or spiritual beliefs, made a public proclamation about a certain thing, have other people telling us that this is what we need, then we may hold onto a person or situation longer than necessary.

Sometimes we spend our lives thinking about everyone else; not wanting to let people down, wanting THEM to be happy even if we must sacrifice something or all of ourselves to do that. Perhaps we have been raised to see this as worthy behaviour, or the way to be lovable – earning love through good deeds and sacrifice.

Sometimes we become so fixated on achieving the end goal that we stop asking ourselves the right questions: “Does this still serve me?  Does this still honour me?”  “Did it ever…”

Sometimes we’ve let something define us for so long that we no longer know who we are without that thing in our life. Even if it’s killing us or making us miserable.

Sometimes we let our heart rule our head. Sometimes we let our head rule our heart. And it’s not making us feel good. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Or maybe we are afraid. Afraid that if we let go nothing will ever come to replace it.  Afraid that people will judge us or turn away from us, or leave us. Afraid that if we let go, the thing might suddenly come good, and all our struggle will have been worth it.

Sometimes we think we don’t deserve any better.

So how do we know when we need to let go?

When duty is the only thing that drives us and all the joy has faded from our lives. When we’ve forgotten the reason we signed up for this in the first place.  When we’ve become indifferent to life, our relationship, this thing… When our health is in tatters, when the person in the mirror is a stranger, when our finances are in ruins, when we’re choking down anger and resentment on a daily basis, when we are no longer a person we like or believe in, when we’ve lost ourselves, it’s time to let go.

When we have gotten to a place where everything is hard, everything is dark, where we can see no place in our lives for hope, or joy or happiness, then it’s time to let go. When we can no longer keep our eyes open and our hands on the wheel, and we’re popping pills to keep going, white-knuckled from fear and exhaustion, it’s time to let go.

When it’s in the past, where we have no way to change it, we need to let go.

Why do we need to let go?

When we are in struggle, we are out of the flow of Universal Good. In that place where we are battling against the current of life we exhaust ourselves, and often have nothing to show for our efforts. It is all hard, hard, and harder.

When we surrender and let go, we stop swimming against the current. Life picks us up and supports us and begins to move us in a new direction. There is a wisdom and grace in the Universe that far exceeds our own.  It we can only trust and let go, finally, we can begin moving towards a better future, to new opportunities, new relationships, new adventures.  We give ourselves a fresh start.  We give ourselves a chance to be happy, a chance to find ourselves and to open ourselves to bright new possibilities.

Even if that means for a time we must sit alone, hands empty…

How do we let go?

Sometimes we need to ask for help. It’s not important to have the answer, it’s only important to have recognised that we need to change. There are many skilled and caring people in the world who can help you make the shift once you’ve decided that it’s time.

Sometimes we will already know what to do.

All change requires effort, but change is possible. If you know you’re unhappy and you can longer work out why,  imagine the current choices and relationships in your life. Imagine the problems. Now imagine removing them. Is there a sense of loss or panic, or a sense of relief? Sometimes it’s as simple as that.

Sometimes we only need to put our burdens down for a time. When we’ve rested, or found someone to share the load, then we find we want to continue, that we can continue.

So many times we let go of the job, and we land on our feet. We let go of the relationship, and we meet our soul mate. We pack up and go, and an unexpected direction leads us to a happier and more fulfilled life, unlike anything we could have imagined for ourselves.

When not to let go

You’ll know it. It’s as different a feeling as night is to day. This is an energy within you infused with light, hope, clarity, determination, strength, courage.

It’s the thing that helps you keep swimming, towing a drowning soul with their head above water, when you are both exhausted. It’s the thing that helps mothers lift a car to release their trapped child. It’s the voice inside you that tells you to call someone, or turn up at their house, or dash into a burning building. It’s the conviction that helps you stand by someone when you believe in a better outcome for them but they are in a place where they can’t yet see it for themselves.

That’s the energy of Love. That’s the feel of God as our wings. That’s Divine Grace working through us. There is something within us that will not give up the fight, something within us that KNOWS we can do it, that we will do it. That we would rather do this and die trying than to walk away. This is a feeling of being energised, vital, alive, burning with a seering focus.

Image from www.thewinchesterfamilybusiness.com

 

Tune in.  How are you feeling? Answer yourself honestly.  Make a decision.  Trust…

I’m holding you in my daily prayers and meditations. You’re not alone in this. I’m with you, and I believe in you,

All my love, Nicole ❤ xx

Want to Join Me For A Ten Day Health Challenge?

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
~ Helen Keller

 

In ten days we’ll be looking at the end of January – the end of the first month of this new year.

I know. You said things would be different this year.

And I also know that some of you are already flagging. (Are you using my Planner? I promise that will make things easier!)

Sometimes, in order to affect change, we need to make new habits. We need to do things differently than we did before. You know this already, on a head level. You may have even tried to make changes in the past. But many of us have not been good at keeping promises to ourselves. Our commitment muscles have become weak. We don’t trust ourselves anymore. It becomes easier and easier to quit on ourselves and our own goals, even as we are holding up the rest of the world with one hand, encouraging and supporting everyone else.

So I propose a Challenge.

Ten days of completing a simple task each day. Every day.

Ten days are enough to start getting into the groove of a new habit. Ten days are enough to see and feel a change. Ten days are enough to find out that we CAN keep our promises to ourselves. We can finish January strong. We can build belief that will help move us through the rest of our year with more confidence and tenacity.

The skills we learn by sticking to one small commitment can then be applied to the bigger things we hope to achieve for ourselves.

No matter what your plans this year, or your One Big Thing, I’m encouraging you to choose a simple health focus for the next ten days. Why? Because you live in your body! Because nothing works well when we don’t have our health. Good health choices are a kindness to ourselves. They are self-care in action. And these choices help us to feel better about ourselves on every level.

Image from cuebc.ca

Image from cuebc.ca

Make your choice a small one. You’ve got lots of other stuff going on. Don’t overwhelm yourselves. Not sure what to choose? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Drink two litres of water each day
  • Eat breakfast
  • Walk every day
  • Yoga stretches each day
  • Make my own healthy lunch instead of take-out
  • Eat more fruit and vegetables
  • Green juice every day
  • Eat a particular way (doctor or health specialist recommended, paleo, weight watchers, gluten-free, coffee-free, whatever-way-of-eating-you’ve-been-half-assed-about-in-the-past)
  • Daily exercise of my choice
  • No screens (phones, computers, TV, tablets) for an hour before bed, and none in the bedroom
  • Daily power nap
  • Eat mindfully, at the table
  • Daily fresh juice or smoothie
  • Daily short meditation (I have lots of free ones here on my site – just put ‘meditation’ in the search bar)
  • Take my vitamins, supplements, magical potions every day
  • Ditch junk food and sugar
  • Stop eating/drinking that thing you know you need to!
  • Connect with someone you love and who loves you – by phone, skype or face-to-face. We all need connection.
  • Healthy snacks instead of chocolate and donuts
  • Cut down or cut out alcohol
  • Daily grounding with bare feet on the earth
  • Use essential oils daily, on yourself or in your diffuser
  • Time in nature
  • Sunshine
  • Enough sleep
  • Short breaks and mini-holidays or adventures each day
  • Move my body, every day, for ten minutes – my choice of movement!

Are you with me? Feel free to write your name below in the comments, along with your ten-day focus. And join us over on facebook, where I will be posting daily updates and encouragement, and where you can share your own progress.