Monday Oracle – October 2, 2017

Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.
~ James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

Hello, Lovelies!

If you read my forecast for October, you’ll know that it’s a month of energies of love, friendship, community and togetherness. It’s also a month for getting creative and for self-acceptance.

Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts which the oracle card Completion brings us.

So, what awareness does Completion bring us this week?

This week we change gears energetically. After the turning-inwards energies and focus on self that was September, October opens us back up again. But on our way from closed to open is a time of shift  and this week is the swing week where we shift old energy and stuck emotions, emerging ready to embrace our creativity and ourselves.

Be prepared for a little slump early on – in fact you might be in it right now – but don’t panic. The rest of the week brings clarity.

Completion‘s energies this week remind us that it’s time to let go of old ideas, old relationships and old pain. It’s a week for endings and for putting things behind us.

Celebrate your endings. Don’t mourn them. Everything has its time, and from endings come new beginnings. Love endures.

This week focus on simplifying your plans and your processes. Let go of anything unnecessary to your vision or project.

Give yourself time and extra self-care as you move through these energies of shift and release.

Supportive crystals this week?

Red Jasper is a stone for mental, physical and emotional rejuvenation. Deeply grounding, it helps you connect to your heart and your truth. If I could choose only one stone this week it would be Red Jasper! Smoky Quartz gifts inner strength and the ability to listen deeply. Orange Calcite connects you in to inspiration and is a wonderful beginner stone for tuning in to the spiritual realms. Expect accelerated connection with your Guides! Rose Quartz is a stone of love and nurture – the crystal world equivalent of a great big reassuring hug, a soothing cup of tea and a best friend to hold your hand through life’s decisions and challenges. 


Helpful essential oils?

I’m loving Young Living’s Clarity and Believe blends for October. Use Clarity for focus, inspiration and breakthroughs. Dab a drop on your Crown Chakra and the soles of your feet, inhale directly or add to your diffuser. Use Believe when you are doubting yourself and want to find your confidence and self-belief. It’s great to inhale directly, diffuse or add a drop to Heart Chakra and inner wrists. A few drops added to your bath make for magical self-care.

Want to make your own blend? Each of the following oils will work beautifully on their own for you this month, but they also make a delicious combination for diffusing. Frankincense elevates our mood and promotes spiritual connection and intuition, Lavender keeps us in flow and relaxed,  Ylang Ylang opens our hearts and is supportive when we feel anxious or overwhelmed, and Bergamot for joy, gratitude and optimism. To diffuse add 2 or three drops of each oil to your room or personal diffuser. You can find the oils here.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Completion’, is from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Deck by Tori Hartman. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

What Are You Ready To Give Up?

Image from

Image from

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”
~ Mark Twain


Tomorrow, the 17th of December, sees the beginning of the energies of the new year arriving.

2017 will show her face early this year. So that means today truly is the last day of the old 2016 energy (and of the energy of the entire era that started before the birth of Christ and has been staggering to its eventual end from 2012).

Today is a fabulous day for giving something up.

Something that no longer serves you.

Something that holds you back.

It might be a habit, a behaviour, an attitude, a limiting belief, a relationship, a food group. 🙂 But whatever it is, you already know that you’d be a lot better without this thing in your life.

There is enormous support and energy available to you today as you decide to give something up so that you don’t carry that stinking old pattern into the bright clean new year.

You might need to give it up for ever, or simply for a while. You might need to just change your relationship with this thing.

So, what will you give up today?

It’s time.

Sending masses of love and support your way,

Nicole <3 xoxo


The Magical Box Of Broken Dreams

“Before you can live a part of you has to die. You have to let go of what could have been, how you should have acted and what you wish you would have said differently. You have to accept that you can’t change the past experiences, opinions of others at that moment in time or outcomes from their choices or yours. When you finally recognize that truth then you will understand the true meaning of forgiveness of yourself and others. From this point you will finally be free.”
~ Shannon L. Alder


It was seeing my mother yesterday that finally and unexpectedly helped me to let go of something I’d been holding onto for the longest time.

I hadn’t seen mum for a while, and I was quietly shocked to see how tired and old and careworn she looked. How much like my late grandmother.

There was something else I recognised in the lines of her face, the creases of her eyes, the aging skin on the back of her hands…


There I was, in my mother’s face. In her posture and her laugh, and her sun-damaged winter-skinned hands.

Mum’s getting older, and so am I.

It wasn’t a bad feeling. It was an honest acceptance of this thing that is time, marching through our too-short lives and stealing our days whether we are ready or not.

Of course, Lyme disease has also stolen many of my days. Too many, really. But I can’t afford to look back. My power lies in living in the moment, facing forward.

Which is why, close to midnight I rose from my bed, remembering something I hadn’t thought of for a while.

It was there, shoved into the back of the linen closet. Hidden by old towels and sheets. Unused, but never able to be let go of. Just in case. I pulled it out and sat with it for a while. Not sad. Just ready to finally let go.

Many years ago, before I was even married, my nana gave me a tiny pair of knitted booties, a crocheted bonnet and a baby blanket. I was perhaps twenty at the time, and had taken a year off college because of what we thought were the post-illness complications of Ross River fever. I was actually in full-blown lyme, but that’s a whole other story. I hung out with my nana a lot that year, nana and her elderly friends. We swapped arthritis treatments and pain remedies. Despite our age differences we moved in time. Slowly. Limpingly. I was a good fit with the octogenarians. They helped me deal with my limitations, my heart arrhythmias, my exhaustion and lack of mobility. They helped me to laugh at life, and to find pleasure and satisfaction in the small details of my day.

During that year Nana gave me these tiny white treasures for my Glory Box. For when I inevitably became a mother myself.

They were beautiful with their silky little ribbons and tight neat stitches.

Paton's Royal Baby Knitting Patterns - Love Knitting Blog

Paton’s Royal Baby Knitting Patterns – Love Knitting Blog

I wrapped them in tissue paper and put them in a shoebox. A shoebox that got carted across the country and back again. A shoebox that was always crammed into the back of cupboards as I dealt with ill-health, my first failing marriage, and then the five miscarriages that accompanied my second marriage.

But I could never quite part with those tiny white dreams.

Until today.

I’m too old for children now. My dreams have shifted. My reality has changed. I am where I am and where I am is okay.

The tissue paper is musty and the once-white ribbons have the speckled stains of age. With care and a good wash they might all be made good for someone else. Or perhaps they’d be a lovely outfit for a dolly.

This morning when we take Cafe Dog for his outing, I’ll stop in at the local church and put the shoebox in the thrift shop donation bin.

If new babies are born into our family line, I shall find them bright new dreams and fancies.

We can’t carry everything with us.

I know Nana will understand.

Is there anything in the back of your closet that you need to let go of too? Courage, friend. We have today in our hands, and a new day tightly furled, waiting in the wings of this one. Life is full of amazing gifts when our hearts are open to receive.

Image from

Image from

Inviting Stillness…

'Stillness' by Aijung Kim

‘Stillness’ by Aijung Kim

“When I dance, I dance, when I sleep, I sleep; yes, and when I walk in a beautiful orchard , if my thoughts drift too far off matters for some part of the time, for some other part I led them back again to the walk, the orchard, the sweetness of this solitude, to myself.”


How often do you invite stillness into your life?

Here I am, finally at home at my little farm, tucked up safely in bed, waiting to feel better. And as I wait, I am reacquainting myself with stillness.

I am finding it hard to read.  My mind wanders and I lose the thread of each string of words and have to start over again.

The glare of the computer tires my eyes.

I have no concentration for games. Conversation’s a bother. I might be awake but my brain may or may not engage.

Frustration.  Fatigue. Overwhelm. At times, panic.

For days, as I’ve been in the city, I’ve struggled with feelings of uselessness.

But now I am home. Yesterday I spent most of my time gazing out the window. But instead of uselessness a sense of stillness came over me.

Here, just at my window, bloomed a pretty bush…

2013-01-24 16.33.54And further across, in the camellia tree, a tiny bird’s nest…

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All around me life went on.  My heart was beating.  Breath filled my chest. I was not my pain.  I was not my thoughts. I was not my body. I noted the texture of the sheets and covers, the grain of the old hand-cut cedar walls of my bedroom, the softness of the pillows and mattress. Nature at my doorstep. I kept on breathing.  My heart kept beating.

My mind emptied out its chatter and slowly I left my head and emerged into the world.  Free of thoughts, the images around me running through my mind like water but not catching hold, I found the deepest peace.

No agenda.  No to-do list. No project to work on. No thinking at all.

It reminded me of some of my most profound meditations, and I had done nothing at all except surrender to the moment.

There’s a lot to be said for inviting moments of stillness into your life.  Stillness expands time. Stillness restores and nourishes. Stillness lets you sit in your Soul, instead of in your head.

It’s easier than you think. Take a moment, find a quiet corner of the world, sit down and breathe, and just let the world carry on around you. Be aware, but not involved.  Let your mind relax and let go.  Breathe. Relax. Be.

Wishing you stillness today, and peace in your heart.  Bless ♥ xx

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When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.

Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness. This is the I Am that is deeper than name and form. ~ Eckhart Tolle

Closing the Door on Abusive Relationships

The door is closing – Image courtesy of Brad Mongomery at Flickr

“You show others how to treat you.” ~ Dr Phil

This week I have seen two of the people I love most in the world finally end abusive relationships.  One walked away from a long-term love relationship.  One walked away from their ‘dream job’.

The woman who closed the door on an abusive relationship had been in that space for decades.  For many of those years she was blinded to just how abusive the relationship was.  There was never any physical abuse – it was all the sort of emotional and verbal behaviour that isolates, dis-empowers, controls and terrorises, mixed in with a few dashes of charming, and a few sincere-sounding apologies and cries for help.

Finally, with some help from good professionals, and by listening to the strong and determined voice inside her that had been pushed down for so long, she bravely ended things.

‘Joan of Arc’ by Howard David Johnson

I hope that she doesn’t spend her time grieving over what could have been.  I hope that she now grabs life with both hands and honours the beauty and vibrancy within her that was stifled by that man. There is still time to be all that she might have been.  There is still time for love and laughter and soul freedom.

My other dear friend is a man, who has suffered seven years of physical, emotional and verbal abuse as a regular part of his work day.  He was employed in his dream job, as an advisor to a woman in a powerful position.  He’d believed in her and helped grow her career. She’s a woman who is adored by many. It was strictly a work relationship.  My friend has had a few romances during this time, but life on the road with his work has usually ended them prematurely.  He’s given everything to his job.

The woman he advises and assists has ‘issues’.  But most people don’t know that, and the entourage around her work tirelessly and often thanklessly to make sure that the world doesn’t see that side of her.  In that time my friend has known bruises, cuts, scratches and broken bones.  When finally ended it was a large crystal ashtray to the mouth, which knocked out four of his front teeth. It took a doctor in an overseas ER to make my friend see that this level of abuse was unacceptable. The doctor, also a man, arranged for a police escort to go back to the hotel where the group had been staying so my friend could collect his things.

Despite the woman’s emotional pleading, apologies and offers of more money, he packed up his things, restored his dignity and closed the door on her.

2012 is really shaking relationships of all kinds up right now.  So take a moment and check in.  At home, at work, in love and friendships:

  • are you valued?
  • are you respected?
  • is there part of you that worries, modifies your behaviour, or spends time avoiding potential triggers?
  • does the relationship help you feel good about yourself?
  • do you question your worth and who you are, because of this relationship?

Life is precious.  Life is short.  You cannot be happy in an unhappy relationship.  You cannot know love when your lover gives theirs conditionally, or perhaps doesn’t even know how to love at all.

Take a moment and check in on the relationships in your life.  If they’re not what you need them to be, take action.  Happiness might be just around the next corner.

You might also find these posts helpful:

Knowing When to Let Go

What to Do When You’re Forced to Let Go

Don’t Play the Rescue Game

Oh, and my friend with the minced-up mouth?  He was offered a terrific job two days later, by someone who had admired his work for years and always wondered how long it would take before my friend left the position he’d been in. As soon as he’s had a decent holiday, my friend is stepping up into a whole new life. And I just know it’s going to work out well…

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The gifts of childhood often come wrapped in ugly paper…

Justin Bieber wrapping paper – image from

I know, I know. Everyone blames everything on childhood. It’s a therapist’s favourite playground.

I’m revisiting childhood with you today. Why? 2012 is a fantastic year for personal growth and for letting go of what no longer serves us.  These pains from our past can be really old wounds,  but they are still worth healing. So much energy gets bound up in this sort of pain and it can prevent us from thriving. (In case you missed it, I blogged about letting go and how emotions impact your health recently.  Click on the blue links to go visit!)

Firstly, let’s get one thing clear –  I believe that we choose our parents. (want some proof?  check out my blog about it here) I can hear some of you suck in your breath at that. But think about it for a minute. Our parents are our first teachers in life. Their influence will profoundly impact our development. We are all souls, who had consciousness before we came into this lifetime. And we’ve made choices in our parents that we believe will give us our best opportunity for growth in a particular area. So instead of getting stuck in blame, or repeating old patterns, I’m asking you to step into a new place of understanding about your childhood, and to claim the gifts that were left for you there.  Not to condone bad parenting.  Not to approve of things done to you.  But to set you free from the energy of the past. That’s what forgiveness is all about.

As a psychic I have come to recognise three major groups of parents.  One is not better than another.  (Okay, the first category pretty much sucks.  Fortunately this is the proportionately the smallest group) They each offer different learning experiences. You may end up with two types of parents in the one house. Often, if we’ve been parented in one way, we will actively chose to raise our own family in a different way.  The three broad groups are:

1. Parents who teach us through neglect, abandonment, cruelty or absence.

Bad Parenting image by Chris Jordan

This can be the hardest group for us to resign ourselves to. The downside of this is that we might need to deal with those acts of neglect, cruelty and abandonment.  We might get caught up in a spiral of fear and self-doubt; needing to please others at all costs, endlessly putting others before ourselves, always worrying about breaking rules or getting into trouble. We may turn to substances or behaviours to numb our pain.

But there are great gifts here. We might become perfectionists or high achievers, driven to gain the love or approval or attention of our parents. It can set us up for patterns of excellence and striving throughout life. We may end up with great maturity and ability to handle responsibility from a young age. It can shape great leaders, make you entrepreneurial, a survivor, deeply self-reliant. It can encourage empathy and compassion, that in time can allow us to be the healer or counsellor for others. Needing to retreat into our imagination may shape you as a brilliant writer, artist, poet, musician. Pain breaks the bubble and lets us see life through a different lense.

This is harsh soil for a young one, but it can grow great strong souls, souls with resilience and courage and hope.

2. Playdough and Poo Parents

These parents often wanted children of their own from a very young age, and love having children.  They are deeply engaged with the whole process of pregnancy and early childhood. They will make a safe nest, and you may well be the centre of their universe. For a time.

But within their house is an expectation that you will take flight early. They’ll be there for you with sport and school functions and all those things that mark the progression through childhood, and they’ll start to step away as you move through adolescence, or as another child comes along.  It will be up to you to make decisions about your future.  By sixteen they’ll usually be backing away if they haven’t started to already, although your basic needs (food, shelter, love) will still be met.  They’ll have taken your training wheels off.  They’ll keep loving you, you’ll still be welcome at Christmas or Easter, and especially if you create grandchildren, but from now on it will be up to you. Their job is done.  They raised you, and then kicked you out of the nest, often when you had very few feathers!

This type of parenting gives you early security and an ability to find your feet, although it can be a confusing time when you leave the nest. Your parents won’t exert much influence over your education or adult life, and this enables you to make up your own mind about who you are and what direction you wish to seek in life. (yes, some of this is called learning by making mistakes!)  When you’re out on your own early in life you must learn to trust yourself and your own judgement. It can create great opportunities for early maturity, and for following a very individual path, or for getting on and creating your own path, family and stability early in life.

3.  Elders and Shapers

Working Mother © Jake Wyman, All Rights Reserved

These parents often find it hard to adjust to young children, because they have lives and careers of their own. They love their kids, don’t get me wrong. They will worry incessantly about whether they are doing parenting ‘right’.  They may not be tuckshop mums or fathers group dads, and that can make children feel neglected when other parents (playdough and poo parents usually) have higher visibility and involvement in those early years.

These parents see their job as lifelong.  They will continue to love and worry about their children, and to be there to shape and advise their kids through adolescence; with career directions, marriage, buying assets, going into business, problems, or having children of your own. They will still be an influence in their children’s lives to the end of their own.

Their greatest gift is in giving their children long term stability, and showing their children that it is important to have your own individual path and interests. They will encourage their  children to seek a path for themselves and to find lives that utilise their talents, gifts and passions.  There will be an emphasis for their own children on career or life path, and on making sound choices in life. They may be strict as parents, but less so as grandparents.

We may not appreciate this type of parent until we get older. They won’t be the ‘fun’ parents’.  They will be the ones with rules and boundaries and expectations about school and how we conduct ourselves in life.  But we will also choose these parents if we have strong desires around education, values and being supported and directed for the longer term. And we will maintain relationships with them throughout our lives, using their wise counsel and loving support to guide our own decisions.

Elders and Shapers often parent others as well, by being a supportive influence in the community, workplace, or with the friends of their own family.

Where to from here?

Take some time and reflect on the sort of parenting you have known.  Not to cast blame, but to better understand who you are, and why you are the way you are.  Look past the ugly wrapping paper and see what gifts you’ve been given to work with.  You are stronger than you know. There is no need to react to today in the same way you did when you were a child. Forgive the past, and step into the fullness of who you are.  It’s been no accident.  No co-incidence. The wounds of the past can run deep, but they can also be healed. Get help to heal the past if you need to, so that all you take into the future are the lessons and not the pain.

You are worthy and beautiful, with something unique to offer this world.  You are who you are BECAUSE of where you’ve been. Because of what you know, and where you’ve been, you are empowered to make better choices – ones that reflect YOUR values and ethics, ones that support all the things YOU believe in.  Wishing you peace <3

What to do when you’re forced to let go…

When you decide to let go, it empowers YOU. When we make the choice to let go, we change the dynamics of our lives, and by default, the lives of those around us.

So what happens if you are at the receiving end of letting go? We’ve all been there. Someone dies. We’re fired from our job. Our lover, partner, spouse ends our relationship.  A friend closes the door and says they don’t want us in their lives any more.  A family member stops speaking to us.

Our ability to respond, to change, to control, to continue, to hope…   it’s all taken away from us. We end up, we are sure, on the wrong side of the door. There’s no key. No one answers our knocks. Or worse, they shout for us to go away.

Whenever that happens we experience a kind of death. Whether it is a person who has passed over, or the end of something in our lives, there are phases we will go through.  Knowing that there are phases helps.  Then we can understand our emotions as a process.

The grief cycle looks like this:

In the aftermath of loss

Let yourself feel and honour what comes up for you. Be kind to yourself, and tolerant of your emotions.  Give yourself space to grieve and to heal.  Find support. Do what you can to nurture and uplift yourself. (abundant suggestions for self-nurture here) There is no denying that there will be pain. Loss is never fun. It’s not the season for that.

This sort of letting go, after the abrupt severance from the other end of the connection, is often harder at first than being the one who let go. At the point of consciously letting go, the other person has pulled back from you already.They knew what was coming.  It was their choice, and theirs alone, no matter how painful. You, at the receiving end, are gifted with  the frayed remains of something, the shock of the disconnect, the awful feeling of being DISEMPOWERED.

But wait.

We could get caught up in this sorry business here, but the longer we hold to it, the more we stay stuck in it.

Life changes.  Seasons come and go. Friendships, relationships, times in our lives – they all come to an end.  No one ever knows when a loved one will pass from our lives. The only thing we can know for certain is that change is inevitable, and that at some stage we will all die.

Allow yourself to grieve, and as you begin to emerge from grief, look for ways to continue living, ways to reconnect with family or community, ways to rediscover hope and gratitude. Know that when a loved one dies they are not lost to us, and that their love is enduring. I have seen so much of this in my work as a psychic, and it gives me incredible comfort.

And if your relationship has come to an end? If the job no longer wants you?

No matter how committed you were, no matter how much you gave, or loved, or tried…  it was no longer a good energetic fit.

Something had changed for the other person or party.  Maybe slowly, over a long time.  Maybe suddenly.  But with that knowledge, and that recognition of the lack of energetic fit, they drew back. One day they just woke up in bed with the wrong person and knew they couldn’t keep doing it  – and that person was you!

That’s so much of what the energies of 2012 are all about.  Change, dealing with change, creating change, growth. This year, especially, we will be compelled to change. The things that have no value, no integrity, no further use for us will be broken down.  Things that are unbalanced will need to come back into flow.

So if someone has closed the door on you? It means you are no longer an energetic match. One of you has changed enough that you no longer fit together. It leaves the ‘door-closer’ free to find a better match, or to stay unchanged if you are the one who is growing and evolving. Not everyone will embrace change and that’s okay.

More importantly, when a relationship ends, it leaves YOU free to connect to something that better honours you. Sometimes what feels terrible at the time turns out to be a Blessing in your life. The Universe has wisdom beyond anything we can ever understand.

So many times I have heard the story of a marriage ending, and then the person meets their life partner and soul mate. They continue to grow and evolve in ways that are healthy and positive.  They finally know contentment.

Publisher after publisher reject a novel.  Suddenly someone takes it up and it becomes a best seller. (This is reassuringly common!)

The job ends and the person takes a career change. Unexpected doors open, new directions unfold. Life opens out again. Life becomes more authentically matched to the talents and gifts of that person.

You get rejected from the University course you had your heart set on, go travelling and find a new love, a new direction, a new passion you didn’t know was in you.  You go from the misery of not ever being a Lawyer to the joy of being a Horticulturalist or a Pediatric Nurse where you KNOW it’s where you’re meant to be.

Life’s road has twists and turns.  Sometimes your companion on the road of life leaves. For a time you may need to walk solo.  But it’s a busy road.  Other walkers will be along.  Sometimes you will meet back up with the person you walked with before, and find your have both changed, both grown, and are able to come back together. Sometimes you’ll meet that person and they will be happily walking with a new companion, you’ll be walking with a new companion and you’ll breathe a sigh of relief that they are no longer in your lives. Often you’ll only discover and connect with your authentic self, and find your true direction, when you’ve walked a mile or two on your own.

We act as unknowing Angels in each other’s lives, helping each other find a path more suited to us. Sometimes we close the door.  Sometimes it is closed on us.  Life forks out in new directions.

The only thing you need to do is keep moving.  At some stage you need to pick yourself up from the floor, dust yourself off, and continue on the journey.  Who knows what adventure is around the corner?  Who knows what qualities you will find within yourself, what values you will come to hold dear? Who knows what companion might join you next?

There is a wisdom and a synchronicity within the Universe. We are loved and supported and guided at every turn. There is a season and a reason for everything, although this can be hard to see until we have walked further along the path and get to a place where we look back over our shoulder and finally understand.

Wishing you strength, courage and good cheer for the journey. Bless ♥ xx

Knowing When to Let Go

Be brave and let go. Let go of fear, and pain. Stop holding to the thing that is tearing you apart. While you hang on, grimly gripping and clutching this to you, you deny yourself freedom, new gifts, love. It is madness to presume that you are more wise than the Universe. Let go. Trust. – Nicole Cody

There are so many reasons why we struggle with letting go.

Some of us just don’t like to fail – if we say we’re going to deliver, if we take a marriage vow, sign up for a deadline, have ethics that are all about family or mateship, have strong religious or spiritual beliefs, made a public proclamation about a certain thing, have other people telling us that this is what we need, then we may hold onto a person or situation longer than we should.

Sometimes we are spending our lives thinking about everyone else; not wanting to let people down, wanting THEM to be happy even if we must sacrifice something or all of ourselves to do that. Perhaps we have been raised to see this as worthy behaviour, or the way to be lovable – earning love through good deeds and sacrifice.

Sometimes we have become so fixated on achieving the end goal that we’ve stopped asking ourselves the right questions “Does this still serve me?  Does this still honour me?”  Did it ever…

Sometimes we’ve let something define us for so long that we no longer know who we are without that thing in our life.  Even if it’s killing us or making us miserable.

Sometimes we let our heart rule our head.  Sometimes we let our head rule our heart. And it’s not making us feel good. In fact it’s quite the opposite.

Or maybe we are afraid.  Afraid that if we let go nothing will ever come to replace it.  Afraid that people will judge us or turn away from us, or leave us. Afraid that if we let go, the thing might suddenly come good, and all our struggle will have been worth it.

Sometimes we think we don’t deserve any better.

So how do we know when we need to let go? When duty is the only thing that drives us and all the joy has faded from our lives.  When we’ve forgotten the reason we signed up for this in the first place.  When we’ve become indifferent to life, our relationship, this thing…  When our health is in tatters, when the person in the mirror is a stranger, when our finances are in ruins, when we’re choking down anger and resentment on a daily basis, when we are no longer a person we like or believe in, when we’ve lost ourselves, it’s time to let go.

When we have gotten to a place where everything is hard, everything is dark, where we can see no place in our lives for hope, or joy or happiness, then it’s time to let go.  When we can no longer keep our eyes open and our hands on the wheel, and we’re popping pills to keep going, white knuckled from fear and exhaustion, it’s time to let go.

When it’s in the past, where we have no way to change it, we need to let go.

Why do we need to let go?

When we are in struggle, we are out of the flow of Universal Good. In that place where we are battling against the current of life we exhaust ourselves, and often have nothing to show for our efforts.  It is all hard, hard, and harder.

When we surrender and let go, we stop swimming against the current.  Life picks us up and supports us and begins to move us in a new direction.  There is a wisdom and grace in the Universe that far exceeds our own.  It we can only trust and let go, finally, we can begin moving towards a better future, to new opportunities, new relationships, new adventures.  We give ourselves a fresh start.  We give ourselves a chance to be happy, a chance to find ourselves and to open ourselves to bright new possibilities.

Even if that means for a time we must sit alone, hands empty…

How do we let go?

Sometimes we need to ask for help. It’s not important to have the answer, it’s only important to have recognised that we need to change. There are many skilled and caring people in the world who can help you make the shift once you’ve decided that it’s time.

Sometimes we will already know what to do.

All change requires effort, but change is possible. If you know you’re unhappy and you can longer work out why,  imagine the current choices and relationships in your life. Imagine the problems.  Now imagine removing them.  Is there a sense of loss or panic, or a sense of relief?  Sometimes it’s as simple as that.

Sometimes we only need to put our burdens down for a time.  When we’ve rested, or found someone to share the load, then we find we want to continue, that we can continue.

So many times we let go of the job, and we land on our feet.  We let go of the relationship, and we meet our soul mate.  We pack up and go, and an unexpected direction leads us to a happier and more fulfilled life unlike anything we could have imagined for ourselves.

When not to let go

You’ll know it. It’s as different a feeling as night is to day. This is an energy within you infused with light, hope, clarity, determination, strength, courage.

It’s the thing thing that helps you keep swimming, towing a drowning soul with their head above water, when you are both exhausted.  It’s the thing that helps mothers lift a car to release their trapped child. It’s the voice inside you that tells you to call someone, or turn up at their house, or dash into a burning building. It’s the conviction that helps you stand by someone when you believe in a better outcome for them but they are in a place where they can’t yet see it for themselves.

That’s the energy of Love.  That’s the feel of God as our wings.  That’s Divine Grace working through us. There is something within us that will not give up the fight, something within us that KNOWS we can do it, that we will do it. That we would rather do this and die trying than to walk away.  This is a feeling of being energised, vital, alive, burning with a seering focus.

Tune in.  How are you feeling? Answer yourself honestly.  Make a decision.  Trust..