“My happiness was a bright star exploding in my chest.
I can still feel it, long after that bright spark ignited inside me.
~ Nicole Cody
Hey, Lovelies.
The oddest thing happened to me on Monday night.
I have not been sleeping well. Pain, discomfort, worry, and the brutal force of insomnia have taken a toll these past months. Then my Lyme treatment started, and things deteriorated further.
It is not understating it to say that I have been struggling and in despair at facing two years of this brutal treatment.
After only getting 2 hours sleep on Sunday night I had retreated to our bedroom at 5.30pm on Monday to meditate, and by just after 7pm I was in bed, groggy and finally able to drift off to sleep.
I woke at 11.04pm.
It felt as if I had been asleep for days.
The night sky was hung with fluffy white clouds that were lit from behind by the almost-full moon.
There were a few twinkly stars.
The big old pine trees were silhouetted black against the night sky’s backdrop.
It was incredibly beautiful.
As I sat in bed and watched the world though my window I was swept by a deep sense of calm, and an incredible joy.
I realised that, due to the next few weeks of heavy treatment, I had no events planned, no clients, just a few medical appointments and an open schedule.
I had time to rest.
I had time to write.
Time to be embraced by solitude and old trees and night skies and morning light.
Happiness exploded in my chest like a bright star.
I sensed a presence around me.
It felt profound.
I have not experienced such a joy in a very long time.
Days later I still feel that joy and happiness as a point of light inside my chest, and a deep need to sit at my desk and write.
That’s exactly what I’m doing.
It’s like the stars delivered some kind of magical elixir.
I don’t know what it means, but I’m open to whatever comes.
Sending love, and holding you in my meditations, Nicole xx
