5 Simple Ways To Love Yourself Better

 

“Have the courage to love yourself like you always wished someone would.” 
~  Vironika Tugaleva

 

Everyone knows that self-love is vital to building self-esteem and self-confidence, for setting healthy boundaries and feeling good about yourself. Problem is, if you don’t feel good about yourself to start with, if you don’t like yourself much and you’re feeling pretty depressed and miserable, then trying to love yourself is like holding onto a single helium-filled birthday balloon and expecting it can fly you to Mars.  Mission Impossible!

So what do you do when your sense of self is hanging by a thread, but you just can’t make that mental leap from loathing to loving?

When loving yourself and feeling good about yourself seems impossible, then what you need to do is parent yourself. That’s where you do the things you know you need to do, even when you don’t want to, can’t be bothered, or feel that you don’t deserve to treat yourself well.

Good parents create environments where we can grow, be safe, and learn to get to know ourselves and the world around us.  They support us, provide emotional connection and support, love us and guide us until we move to a place of maturity where we can do these things for ourselves.

Even when you find it hard to love yourself, there is a wise part of your soul that intuitively knows what you need to get back to a place of balance. Your job is to let that parent part of you – the Wise Soul – make the choices for the part of you that is struggling to get on your feet and feel good again.

Image from www.linkedin.com


Here are five simple things you can do to make a start towards healing your relationship with yourself. I’ve also added suggested crystals that are supportive for each step:

1.  Decide to accept yourself right now, as you are and where you are in life. Too often we tell ourselves that we’ll like ourselves better when we’ve lost weight, found a job, left a bad relationship, found a good relationship, stopped smoking, gotten fit, or won lotto. When we put conditions on loving ourselves, we never get to that mysterious just-around-the-corner place that is forever up ahead and out of our reach.  Be honest with yourself.  If life is painful, admit that. Don’t numb yourself with alcohol, drugs, food or overwork.  Reach out for help if you’re having trouble coping, or need some new skills and strategies to make tomorrow look different to today. Best crystals for self acceptance – Tiger Eye, Blue Calcite or Rhodonite

2.  Create a safe space.  Everyone needs a place to call home, where they can relax, be themselves, and surround themselves with things that reflect their sense of self. Music, plants, posters or paintings, colours and fragrances – all of these things can help ground you and give you a sense of belonging and security.  It’s not about the objects as much as the energy they create. Start by making sure your space is clean. Dirt, mess and clutter drain you and create stagnant energy.  Clear the clutter, and then begin to make your space somewhere that is inviting, uplifting and positive. Best crystals for a sense of safety and peace – Banded Agate, Smoky Quartz, Rose Quartz, Sodalite and Snowflake Obsidian

3.  Practice respect.  Respect yourself enough to avoid, minimise your exposure to or end toxic relationships and to stop toxic behavours. Respect your body by eating well, and by exercising daily – even when it’s hard.  Especially when it’s hard and you don’t want to. That’s what parents do.  They make sure we drink enough water, eat our greens, get enough sleep, and get out of bed in the morning.  In everything that you do, ask yourself “Does this action or choice honour me?”  When we suffer from a lack of self-love it’s easy to make choices that don’t do the best by us.  In some cases we even choose things that sabotage our well-being.  Once again, if you’re really struggling here, ask for help, whether it’s a counsellor, personal trainer, rehab facility or a good friend who has your back. Great crystals healing self-sabotage and supporting self respect – Black Tourmaline, Amazonite, Yellow Turquoise, Bloodstone

4.  Find something to look forward to and work towards it, or include it in your life.  Whether it’s an overseas holiday, salsa dancing lessons, art classes or writing your life story, everyone needs to have a sense of purpose, and that purpose doesn’t have to be career related. Don’t be afraid to dream big, even if you have to start small. Best crystals for joy and connection to the flow of life – Green Aventurine, Citrine, Rose Quartz, Fluorite

5.  Spend some time in nature each day. Fresh air and sunshine has been used as a remedy for depression and to heal all manner of ills for centuries. Watching animals in nature has been proven to lower blood pressure, increase endorphins and relax tension in our muscles. Having contact with pets also helps us heal and feel better about ourselves, and teaches us responsibility for others. Best crystals for connection to nature and the earth – Jasper, Carnelian, Hematite,  Septarian Nodules, Unakite

Treat yourself with kindness today and always. Holding you in my prayers and meditations,

Nicole ❤ xx

Turquoise – A Great Stone For Healers and Empaths

“A turquoise given by a loving hand carries with it happiness and good fortune.” ~ Arabic proverb

 

Last week I made a simple turquoise and rose quartz necklace for a friend, and it has been charging up in one of my amethyst caves ever since. I’ll give it to her today – a gift to thank her for all her help as my acupuncturist’s assistant. Her caring and skill have helped me through some difficult days.

I chose turquoise because it is such a supportive stone for healers and empaths. I also added a small rose quartz for love and nurture – replenishing the energy that is so lovingly given out to others. Turquoise is a wonderful crystal. It shields the wearer energetically, and helps to process and let go of emotions that are generated or picked up during work with others. It is very protective of the heart chakra, and clears grief, guilt and trauma.

The emotions of grief, guilt and trauma can move deep into the body. They sit in our throats, our lungs, our hearts, our bellies. It can be our own feelings, or the energies we shift form other people and then take on as our own. Unexpressed, these trapped emotions weaken our immune function, and our digestion. They affect our physical organs, making them more prone to illness and, over time, dis-ease.

Holding grief, guilt and trauma within our bodies is a place that many intuitive, empathic and deeply caring people find ourselves. To love and to care is also to expose ourselves to hurt and to loss. Loving and caring deeply is risky, because when you live in that open-hearted state, love goes hand in hand with suffering. Still, I would advocate that you love anyway. That you care anyway.

One of your greatest gifts is that you care. One of your greatest gifts is that you can live heart-opened. Don’t change that. Just learn to manage it better.

Turquoise, worn on the centre line of the body, is a beautiful crystal for supporting healers in all modalities. Maybe you’d benefit from wearing one too!

Lots of love to you, Nicole xoxo

Stones, Crystals and Meditation Magic

“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” ~ Caroline Myss

 

I have long been a meditator. In fact it has been a daily practice for me since adolescence. Even with my recent bout of ill-health I haven’t missed a day. It’s as much a part of my life as sleeping or breathing.

As I was walking along the beach on Monday morning I came upon a particular rock. It’s just a stone. But it holds the energies of the ocean and the earth. It is an anchoring stone. And it comes from Byron Bay, which is a place of great healing and transformation. As I held it in my hand I knew that I would meditate with it, and that this stone would hold those energies in a way that could be transferred to someone else.

Which gave me an idea…

I have decided to dedicate a meditation each day of the month to a chosen stone and a crystal companion. The stone becomes the Anchoring Stone, which helps us to stay grounded, clear and calm, connecting into our bodies, and to the earth and nature. The crystal becomes the Connection Stone, enabling us to connect into our intuition, Higher Self, Guides, Ancestors and the Divine.

I will use the energies of the month to support me as I meditate with intention, infusing the stones with that energy.

Here are the stones I will work with every day in July:

The energies and intention I will infuse into the Byron Bay Beach Rock will be that the holder comes to know and understand their body and how to honour and take care of it to give lasting health and wellbeing. This knowledge will also contribute to a state of inner calm and of self-care.

The energies and intention I shall infuse into the Tasmanian Quartz Crystal will be a deep connection to the user’s ancestral line, intuition, Guides, Angels, the Divine – facilitating a stronger understanding of the user’s individual talents and gifts, and those that have been passed down through their ancestral lineage. All of this will help to give clarity of life path.

My team will devise a new competition each month to enable someone from our Cauldrons and Cupcakes community to win the stones as well as a meditation recorded just for them.

All of the love and energy and intention that I pour into these stones daily will then be available for the user in their own meditation. It’s also okay if you’ve never meditated before. I’ll send you instructions!

I’m so glad that this idea found me, so that the right stones can find you.

We’ll post more details soon.

Hugs and love, Nicole ❤ xoxo

Listening To My Body

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“The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not.–Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.”
~ William Wordsworth

 

Yesterday I stopped.

Although I am on holiday and had a million exciting events planned I decided to cancel all of them.

Instead I put myself to bed and slept. Rising in the late afternoon I took a short walk, ate a simple meal overlooking the world from the top floor open-air cafe of our hotel. I watched the river flowing. I watched the sun set. I watched the play of lights in the night sky, and then put myself back to bed again.

So much sleep, and I feel as if I could still sleep some more. So it’s likely I will.

 

Once I would have pushed through this exhaustion. I would have allowed stubbornness to keep me upright and engaged, no matter how fatigued I might be.

No more.

Part of my holiday plan is to listen to my body and give it what it needs. It needs sleep. So I will happily comply.

How about you? If you take a moment, close your eyes and tune in, how do you feel? How much charge is in your physical battery? Your emotional battery?

What do you most need right now?

Try to give yourself some of that today.

Thinking of you, and sending so much love,

Nicole <3 xoxo

Join Me For A New Journalling and Oracle Card Challenge?

chakra-journal-challenge-2

“The closer you come to knowing that you alone create the world of your experience, the more vital it becomes for you to discover just who is doing the creating.”
~ Eric Michael Leventhal

Keeping a journal is something I’ve done since I was a child. I don’t mean a simple diary, where you record the events of the day. You know what I mean… I ate this. I did this. Someone said that. No. I mean a place where I could explore ideas, talk with myself, and find my own answers.

Over the last few years I’ve created several journal challenges here on my blog, and I’ve just made a new one for you, to take advantage of the fabulous energies March and April bring for uncovering the hidden and neglected aspects of yourself, and for determining where you are out of step with yourself, so that you can bring your life into alignment with your true nature and values. It’s a great time for getting to know yourself better and for forging new directions in your life. Would you like to join me?

We’ll be starting this new challenge on Tuesday 28 February, so that you have time to gather your resources together. Our first Tuesday will be an orientation day. Then each Tuesday for March and April I will have a new journal activity for you to complete during the week. You’ll need a minimum of ten minutes to set aside each week for writing, and an additional five minutes per day for five out of seven days for energy work on yourself to facilitate your own healing and wellbeing. I’ll teach you everything you need to know. You can be a complete beginner at all of this!

I will be using the Chakras as a guide for this challenge. You don’t need to know anything about them either. All you need to do is bring a willingness to know yourself better.

live-true

Here’s what you’ll need:

  • A new journal. Choose one that feels right for you. Make sure there are enough pages to get you through nine activities.
  • Some pens and pencils.
  • A crystal or stone to use as a gratitude and focus stone. (If you’re doing my Year of ME program feel free to use your 2017 stone for this challenge!)
  • A deck of oracle or tarot cards.
  • A sense of adventure and a readiness to explore your inner world.

NB: A note on choosing oracle or tarot cards – choose cards whose pictures and messages are meaningful to you. Avoid cards such as tarot decks that show only coins or cups etc. Instead choose a deck whose imagery really speaks to you. It’s the pictures that matter. Don’t worry if you don’t know how to use them. I’ll be showing you.

That’s my own journal, cards and stones in the picture below. I’ll be right beside you doing each week’s activities too. My gratitude rock is a smoky quartz and amethyst point (that’s the big one – the other two are a tourmalinated quartz and a prehnite that live in the same bag as my oracle cards and who came with me on my holidays). The oracle cards I’ll be using are Colette Baron-Reid’s Enchanted Map cards. And I just bought a new journal from a cool bookstore here in Vietnam, where I am currently travelling. It’s just the right size for our challenge and not too heavy in my luggage. (I won’t tell you about the other five journals I bought at the same place…)

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Who’s in? Pop your name in the comments or let us know over on facebook. If you post a pic on the facebook page during this challenge, you’ll be in the running to win a cool prize! Stay tuned for details.

Much love, Nicole ❤ xx

Here’s the entire Chakra Journal Challenge. I’ll add new links as the material becomes available each week:

Orientation Week – Let’s Learn The Basics!

 

Sneaking Back to Bed

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.
Smile, even when you’re trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.
Frolic, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you’re afraid of what the dreams might bring.
Run, even when it feels like you can’t run any more.
And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience—you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don’t live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.”
~ Alysha Speer

 

I’ve had a big few days, lovelies.

A big month actually, between having intensive IV therapy to combat my superbug, and doing a load of readings and coaching for clients, and of hand-holding souls at the end of their lives, and of supporting people I care about through hard times.

This morning I woke up after a restless night, did my healing meditation for the world and all my loved ones (that includes you!) and then thought I would write my blog and get onto my avalanche of unanswered emails and messages that keeps growing while I have been busy attending to more urgent matters.

But I changed my mind.

My husband is sleeping in a dark, cool room. Harry dog has snuck up beside him.

And I am still tired.

So I am going back to bed for some more sleep and cuddles with my loved ones.

Because that’s what self-care looks like.

I hope you are looking after yourself too!

Hugs and love, Nicole <3 xx

The Week Ahead – Oracle Reading for Monday 12 December

morality-osho

“Civilization is always threatened from below, by patterns of belief and emotion that may once have been useful to our ancestors, but that are useful no longer.”
~ Roger Scruton

“Whereas moral courage is the righting of wrongs, creative courage, in contrast, is the discovering of new forms, new symbols, new patterns on which a new society can be built.”
~ Rollo May

 

Hello, Lovelies!

Here’s the oracle card I have chosen this Monday, and my take on the energetic outlook for the week ahead.

‘Morality’ is from the Osho Zen Tarot deck. This card signifies the great importance of the week ahead. It’s a potent time for pattern breaking – both the patterns and limiting mindsets that we have created for ourselves, and for the perpetuated and limiting patterns that have been passed down through our family lines.

Please stop judging yourself and others for past decisions and actions. It’s never helpful, and it holds us tied to thsoe old energies and actions. Instead, seek to recognise limitations, embrace forgiveness, then make different choices which create space for healing and change.

Remember that who and where you’ve been doesn’t have to decide your future, it only informs your past. You’re bigger than your past. And we’re always growing, changing and moving on.

 

December is a time for reflection, and for sitting in the Supermind. This month we’re encouraged to truly give thought to who we are, where we’ve been, and where we want to go next.

As part of our reflection we’ll be able to see our current blocks and obstacles much more clearly this week. It’s a week that supports our decision to bust through these limits, or simply to start believing in a different story for ourselves and our futures.

Image from www.quoteaddicts.com

Image from www.quoteaddicts.com

 

We’re reminded to think kindly of ourselves and to come from a place of love and compassion in all that we do, this week and always.

Don’t keep mindlessly buying into the dramas of other people, or of the world. Choose to live with hope and optimism. Use your awareness to create shift and change, starting with yourself.

This is a fabulous week for creating a crystal grid to help release and heal old limiting ancestral patterns of thinking and behaviour. Clearing and healing family lines as 2016 draws to a close will enable us to move into 2017 with a clean slate, and a host of fresh and new possibilities.

I have seen many changes and synchronicities happen after creating such a grid. What matters most is your intention to break patterns, to heal, to be inclusive and to come from a place of love.

If you visit my shop (link at top of this page) you’ll find some downloadable instructions under the ‘Free Stuff’ category to guide you through the process of creating your own crystal healing grid to help close out 2016.

I have also set up an Ancestors and Songlines crystal healing grid here on the farm. If you’d like to be a part of my grid, please pop over to that blogpost, or to my facebook page (click to follow the links) and add your name. I’ll program and dedicate a crystal to you, and then place it within the grid. From today I’ll be posting pictures on Instagram and Facebook of the stones I’ll be dedicating for you. Look out for yours!

If you’d like me to see a picture of your grid, then please tag me with #cauldronsandcupcakesgrid or post to my facebook page and I’d be thrilled to come take a look. <3

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Need some extra support to break patterns and beliefs?

Over in my shop is another free download called Soul Healing Statements. Download this sheet, and then choose the affirmations that resonate for you. Repeat them often, and let them help to rewire your thoughts and beliefs in positive ways.

 

Supportive crystals this week? Green Aventurine, Rhodochrosite, Labradorite, Smoky Quartz and Snowflake Obsidian.  Helpful essential oils? Young Living’s Joy essential oil blend, or  a combination (or singly!) of any of rose, cedarwood, lavender, bergamot and frankincense.

Wishing you a breakthrough week of wisdoms, insights and shift. Release, forgive, and embrace hope this week. As we close out 2016 and step towards these new energies of 2017 allow yourself to connect back into optimism.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations.  All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx