Sorry, Lovelies, but I let myself sleep in!

Image from Dolls of India

Image from Dolls of India

“Sleep is my lover now, my forgetting, my opiate, my oblivion.”
~ Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler’s Wife

 

Goodness, what a night I had last night. After a day of psychic appointments, and on my heavy new lyme drugs I was tucked up in bed and asleep by 7.30pm.

So I was startled to be woken by my phone a little after ten. A long-standing client had called my mobile, desperate, because her daughter was acting strangely and was suicidal. What could the mother do?

I spoke with both of them for hours, and eventually convinced them to call an ambulance. This morning the daughter is in a locked ward, safe and well-attended, and the mother and I will finally be able to talk about the elephant in the room – her daughter’s drug addiction.

It’s a terrible thing, this secret her daughter has kept these past few years, but now it’s all out in the open she can get the help she needs.

And me? I went back to sleep at about two. So I thought you’d cut me a little slack in being late to blog this morning.

Life. The texture and weft of this tapestry we’re weaving is so rich, isn’t it? So many stories, so many journeys, so much pain, so much love…

Be well today. Treat yourself and others kindly. Bless xx

The Baby Who Knew Me!

Image by Aimee at Lily Pad Designs

Image by Aimee at Lily Pad Designs – Note: This is NOT the baby who knew me 🙂

“Hope is the thing with feathers 
That perches in the soul 
And sings the tune without the words 
And never stops at all.”
~ Emily Dickinson

“Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other. 

Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meetings are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes direction.” 
~ Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

 

It takes a lot to freak me out. But last week, in the middle of Woolworths in Byron Bay I consider that I was freaked. Let me explain…

I was feeling ill, miserably exhausted on my lyme drugs, depressed and in pain. It wasn’t the best of headspaces. I hadn’t slept much for days.

As I whizzed through the aisles, throwing a few things in my basket, I saw a little girl sitting unattended in a shopping trolley. When she saw me she gasped, and her big brown eyes widened. Her face went bright red. I thought she was about to cry. I grabbed what I needed, hoped her mother was near, shot her a smile and raced into the next aisle.

A few more aisles over we met again. There was more stuff in the trolley behind her, but again she was unattended. Her face lit up as I walked past her.

“Hello,” I smiled as I grabbed some milk.

She reached out her arms to me, cute as a button. I waved goodbye and hurried towards the checkout. So she launched her super power. This little girl let out a blood-curdling scream. A scream loud enough to shatter windows and perforate ear drums.

 Image by © Ale Ventura/PhotoAlto/Corbis

Image by © Ale Ventura/PhotoAlto/Corbis

As soon as I looked back at her she stopped.

When I turned away, she screamed.

“Do something,” a woman beside me said angrily. “Don’t just leave her sitting there.”

What could I do? I was already so disoriented from pain and fatigue, and that scream was splitting my head open. I hurried back over, put down my basket and put my hand on her chubby little leg.

She stopped screaming immediately and beamed up at me. She held out her arms to me.

‘God, where’s her mother?’ I kept thinking. The little girl stretched so far I was frightened she would fall out of her seat. I stepped up close and to my surprise she grabbed my face and started smothering me in kisses. At least she wasn’t screaming.

“Nicole?” an embarrassed voice said from behind me.

I half-turned, my hair caught up in fistfuls by the little girl. It was a client of mine, Susan, whom I haven’t seen for a few years, although I have spoken to her on the phone a few times last year.

“This is Melody.” She came and stood beside me, and started crying as she detangled my curls from her baby’s hands.

And then I understood. I hugged her and we both cried, right there in the dairy aisle. Bless Byron Bay – it’s a perfectly natural occurrence in our shire for people to hug and cry. Everyone walked right past without batting an eyelid.

Melody (I’ve changed the names here for privacy purposes) is a soul I first saw as a bubble of light in her mum’s aura, many years ago. She was all ready to come through, given any opportunity to be born. But her Mum was in a turbulent relationship, and uncertain if she was ready for children. For her, career was what took all her energy.

In mid 2012 Susan rang me, feeling very unwell, and I asked if she could be pregnant. “Impossible,” she’d answered. “I’m on the pill. And anyway, I’ve separated from Max months ago. I’m on my own.”

Months after that she sent me an urgent message via facebook late one night. More a confession that anything else. She was pregnant after all, most likely from a one-night stand, and with no way of tracking down the father. Her life was falling apart. Susan was contemplating a late-stage abortion, and she wanted to discuss the implications of that for the soul she might not bring through, and for herself.

This little soul, Melody, spoke to me, and said that she didn’t mind what her mother chose, because she loved her so much, and if it wasn’t the right timing she would wait and come through at another time. It was all okay.

Melody was so calm and loving. I trusted that too.

But I was deeply upset by the emotional state that Susan was in, and how very unsupported she was. I stayed up that night praying and doing a healing meditation for her and the little soul with her, asking for the best possible outcome and highest good for both of them. I called in all of the spiritual support for her that I could muster.

Susan rang me the next morning to say that she had found a doctor and booked the procedure. She sounded much calmer. I didn’t hear from her again.

So here we were, in the middle of Woolies, with the baby daughter she decided at the last minute that she had to keep after all.

Susan was up here in Byron on holidays with her daughter and her new partner. She’s happy, and in a great relationship. She loves being a mum. It has all worked out okay.

I got more hugs and kisses from both of them, and then I took my shopping, paid for it and headed back to my patient husband and cafe dog out at the ute – who were wondering what had happened to me to make me take so long.

Synchronicity – that’s what took me so long. I love the mystical magical nature of our Universe. It never ceases to fill me up, and give me hope and peace.

Image from Espaco Yoga

Image from Espaco Yoga

My story, interrupted!

Emergency

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.”

~ Deborah Day

I was going to keep writing about owls and fairies and those sorts of things, but I can’t this morning.  Instead I have to go to work.

Psychic work.

Just before I woke this morning I dreamed about a client who I’ve known so long now that I consider her a dear friend.  In my dream her phone accidentally speed dialled me while I was out in the paddock on the farm.  I wasn’t far from the house so I ran back inside but the phone cut out before I could get to it.

I played the message back, and I knew my friend was out shopping and was having a heart attack without realising what was going on.

When I called her back the phone didn’t answer and I didn’t know where she was to send help.

This event hasn’t happened yet.  But it’s about to.  She’s already feeling unwell.  She has already experienced some nausea and tightness in her chest. And honestly, she’s been heading this way for years, and knows she should be doing something about it, but she always tells herself she’ll get around to it just as soon as (insert anything that is vaguely about doing things for other people or meeting work deadlines first). She’s 38. That’s so young. And all of this journey was avoidable.

So this morning I need to contact my friend.

And in the meantime I have a message for YOU.

Take care of yourself.  Parent yourself.  Do the things you know you need to do to get your health back on track. Eat a healthier diet.  Get support from health care practitioners you trust. Get your weight under control.  Reduce your stress levels.  Get more sleep.  Address the underlying emotional issues that are causing you distress.  And stop putting everyone and everything before yourself.

Life is precious.  You are precious.  So much magic awaits.  But you have to be here, and healthy, to take advantage of that.  We need you and your beautiful gifts in the world,  It’s not to late to turn this around.  Self care, self nurture, new priorities and some support.  That’s all that’s needed.  You can do this.  You need to do this.

Sending much love to you, Nicole xx

Recognise the warning signs of a heart attack

The Elephant Elder of Chiang Mai

On my thirtieth birthday I woke up to find that I could see auras around people. After I adjusted to the shock, and the disorientation that comes from having additional materials in your field of vision, I soon found that I could understand and interpret those energies, and it has formed the basis of much of my psychic work.

On my fortieth birthday I woke up and I could see colour all around me, in everything living thing, and many more things besides.  I was so overwhelmed. It was as if God had allowed me to open Pandora’s Box…

Image by Marta Dahlig

At first I felt as if I could no longer even walk on the grass, in case I injured it. The world was so beautiful.  But what would I eat? Animals, plants, they all had auras – I could see within them the existence of a sentience well beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Energetically, they were so much like us, and we like them.

But how I resolved that is best left for another day.

A few years ago I took a trip to Thailand. I was recuperating from a heart attack – and it’s true to say that I was in a very open and accepting space about what life had in store for me.

While in Chiang Mai we trekked up to an Elephant Camp. As we walked through the park, a line of elephants came towards us from the other direction.  Each elephant had their mahout (trainer and guide) and a tourist or two on their back.

One of the elephants lifted up their head from quite a way away and stared directly at me.  It made me feel quite uncomfortable. As that elephant stared at me, others began to notice me too.  They were so big, and suddenly I felt very small and very vulnerable. A few of the elephants walked past us now and then suddenly the one who had been staring trumpeted and ran towards me. It happened so quickly that no-one did anything. Fear surged in me and for a moment I thought I might die. But just as suddenly she stopped in front of me, and I swear she looked at me with recognition.

Her mahout yelled to her, and urged her to keep walking, but she stood a moment longer with me, and then ever so tenderly she stroked my cheek with her trunk.   It was the most extraordinary thing, and it reduced me to tears.

As the rest of the elephants filed past us, each of them stretched out their trunk towards me. I could see that the mahouts were uncomfortable and that this was not usual elephant behaviour.

Later, after we had watched a group of elephants bathing in the river, we bought bananas and went over to where some of the elephants were resting.

There was my elephant, and she tapped me on the shoulder with her trunk, so I would favour her with a banana.  Her aura was quite different to the other elephants around her.  It was complex, with Master Colours and a Psychic Channel. She reminded me of my favourite one-eyed cow, 767, who is that matriarch of our cattle herd, and an incredibly wise old girl. Just as with 767, I saw the other elephants looking to this wise old mother for direction and guidance.

This elephant kept looking at me with her querying eyes, and my whole body vibrated as she touched me, tapping her trunk gently right over my heart. I had only been out of hospital for a fortnight, and was still experiencing constant pain. Somehow she knew. I stood with her for a long while, and without being able to speak each other’s language, I felt that we had understood each other. My aching heart actually eased.  Later I would have my first full night’s sleep since I had first had chest pain.

My day with the Elephant Elder of Chiang Mai remains one of the most profound experiences of my life.

Life is so much more mysterious and wonderful than anything I had ever dreamed. ♥

My third Blog Award – The Sunshine Award

I’ve been nominated for the Sunshine Award by a lovely blogger!

The Sunshine Award

The rules of this Blog Award are: Include the Award’s logo in a post or on your blog
. Answer 10 questions about yourself. 
Nominate 10-12 other fabulous bloggers. 
Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know they have been nominated. 
Share the love and link the person who nominated you!

So here are my question answers:

  1. What are your favorite things to do? No secret here…  Writing, cooking, meditating and doing spiritual/psychic work, uplifting people, hanging out on my farm, swimming in the ocean, travelling. Oh, that’s rather a lot, isn’t it, and I have barely gotten started.  Let’s just say I am in love with life.
  2. Where would you most like to travel to? I’m quite fascinated by Istanbul (I even blogged about it here), but right at this minute I’d be back in Thailand in a heartbeat, enjoying the food, the atmosphere, the beautiful people, and the incredible massages.
  3. Who would you most like to meet who is still living?I’d love to have His Holiness, the Dalai Lama around for a cup of tea and a chat. I have quite a few questions to ask him.
  4. Who would you most like to meet who has passed away? This is a toss up between Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Buddha and Shakespeare. I think all four at a dinner party would be fascinating. And myself from any past life – now that would be cool!
  5. What do you think is the hardest thing to do? Self work – honestly exploring, understanding and bettering yourself. But I also think it is worth it.
  6. What is your motto? Hmmm.  I would say that ‘kindness’ is my religion, and that ‘It’s all good’ would be my motto. Life is meant to be savoured in the fullest, every beautiful moment, every nuance of light and dark. It’s all good…
  7. What is your favourite charity? No favourites, although I support a number. In the end I think we all need to share a sense of compassion and kindness with those around us, including animals and the earth.
  8. What are you proud of? I’m proud of all of my wonderful clients who have embraced their heart’s calling!
  9. What ambition do you still have? To be a successful published author. (More than once… LOL!)
  10. Your favourite flower? I have two.  Gardenias remind me of my grandmother, and I love the heady fragrance of those first summer Jasmine flowers.

Bloggers I nominate (and that I hope you visit!) are:
  1.  Lorna’s Tearoom Delights – because, well, it’s about tearooms, and tea and cakes and life in Scotland and all things good.
  2. istopforsuffering – for its kindness, compassion and gentle spirit
  3. Sweet Mother – because she makes me laugh often, cry sometimes and think always
  4. Veggiewitch – Earth Mother, Veggie and Vegan Food Queen, Kind Spirit, Big Heart
  5. Nikky’s Strength and Weakness – Soulful writing about life, straight from the heart
  6. an unrefined vegan – for healthy, cruelty-free, soul nurturing recipes delivered with charm and intelligence
  7. Source of Inspiration – Poetry, pictures, heart-felt musings and wonders that uplift and inspire
  8. Onida Merlyn – for some beautiful metaphyical writings
  9. Fierce Buddhist – haiku, buddhist thoughts, philosophy and friendship – lovely!
  10. coolcookstyle – because this girl cooks YUM food, and she’s funny, cool and kind
  11. Inspire ‘Til You Expire – positive messages, lots of gratitude and good uplifting stuff
  12. LadyRomp – empowering and inspiring women

Dealing with Psychic Anxiety

Over the years I have come to recognise a certain set of feelings, to which I have given the name ‘Psychic Anxiety’. It’s a very unpleasant sensation that can last from an hour to a couple of days, and it is one of the least fantastic aspects of being spiritually and energetically sensitive.

Oh, don’t get me wrong.  It’s not unbearable, and in fact I have worse feelings related to psychic work at times, especially if it involves violent crimes and dead people.

The biggest problem with psychic anxiety is this unshakable feeling of dread and unease, that sensation of icy chills and ‘something crawling over your grave’ as my Nana calls it.

People who are psychic, or sensitive, generally feel the highs and lows of life more acutely. I like this diagram below, because for me it represents the differences between me and someone who is less sensitive.

Most people live in the middle of the red and green lines, and can go to the high or low of those fields, but may seldom do so. They also usually have a greater physical resilience, a robustness to them.

Energetically sensitive people are represented by the blue line.  We feel and react to energies both above and below those regular red and green bands, although we may also live somewhere in the middle of our band of felt frequencies most of the time. Sensitive people are just that – sensitive – and without the robustness of some other folk. We may act with great robustness for a while, while we are needed or need to get things done, but that sort of energetic output is always at a price.  And sometimes that price is high.

The blessing of sensitivity is that we can feel, see, connect with and know some wonderful and amazing things. It is easy for us to tap into creative flow, to feel love and gratitude, to notice things around us and with the emotions of people around us, and to get high on life…

The difficulty is that sometimes it connects us into those low energies, and this is a painful experience on a soul level, tough emotionally and sometimes physically hard as well.

Usually if I get a psychic message or connection out of the blue (in other words I’m not consciously inviting or controlling it) it feels like this – a big bang on an otherwise normal day:

Uniform sine wave excitation graphic from opensees.berkeley.edu

I get a sudden flood of images, sounds, sensations, feelings, knowledge – all flooding me with a great intensity.  It’s momentary, it passes; although the information will remain, the emotions and energetic kick dissipate quickly.

Psychic anxiety is different.  It’s like an unseen hand rachets up the control knob.  I can’t turn the emotions and energetic kick down or off, but I am also given no information. All I have is the feeling, sometimes so strong that it wipes me out in the same way a severe migraine might. Like an old TV with no image on the screen, cranking out a discordant sound that makes you want to cover your ears or run away screaming.

I know that certain things affect me.  When there are polar shifts I end up flat and exhausted, a little depressed, and often with big hormonal swings.  When there are solar flares I feel restless, unable to sleep, irritable and wound up tight.

But this, this is different.  And I’m grateful it doesn’t happen too often. It’s always tied into great disaster, injustice, cruelty, suffering, death. It’s either building up to happen, or happening as I feel it.

In the days to come the news may let me know what it was all about.  That’s how it was for September 11, the Bali bombing, the tsanamis in 2004 and again last year in Japan.

Sometimes I find out years later – a massacre in Kosovo, in Iraq, in Rwanda…

Sometimes I never find out at all.

So I ride it out.  I keep myself away from crowds.  I swim in the ocean.  I sit under trees, walk in the rain, spend time in the gracious and calming company of my cows.

When I feel stronger I meditate.  I pray.  I light candles. I flood the world with love.  It’s all that I can do. A tiny flicker of light in what can seem like a sea of darkness. But I do it anyway and hope that somehow it helps.