Those Big Conversations…

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“There is not one big cosmic meaning for all; there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.”
~ Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin


For a long time (my whole adult life in fact) I have been so busy surviving – plugging away at seemingly impossible dreams or at the simple tasks of everyday living – that we haven’t really stopped to ask ourselves the big questions.

You know the ones.

Why am we living here?

What makes us happy?

Is this all there is?

Do we actually want something different?

If one of us croaked it tomorrow what would we regret not having done?

Is there something big calling us, something we feel compelled to do or be?

Sure, we’ve thought about these things in general terms. And we’ve certainly set goals.  But when you live with a chronic illness and every day is a struggle, most of your focus is on getting through the day, and convincing yourself and those around you that you’re coping when actually you are far from fine.

My husband’s been too busy looking after me, and trying to keep me alive, to think about those answers for himself. He sacrificed his career and most of his life dreams as I became more ill and could no longer live independently.

Because of Ben I’ve been able to keep up my psychic work, and I persevered with my writing, even when it was almost impossible. Because of him I never gave up.

And now it’s all changing.

Suddenly my husband and I are having the big conversations. The ones I had thought reserved for uni students after a few drinks, late at night when the rest of the world had gone to bed.

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Image from

After years of mystery illness I have a definitive diagnosis – lyme disease and several co-infections. Two and a half years of intense antibiotic and herbal therapy have saved my life. I’m no longer dying. In fact I’m slowly but surely improving.

My world is opening out again.

Problem is, Ben and I have become so used to living in this tiny, limited space imposed upon us by my illness that realising we have a future together when we’d expected otherwise means we need to reevaluate our direction, our decisions, our priorities.

It’s exciting, and a little bit scary.

I also see it as a blessing. To have this second chance. To be able to make conscious choices. To talk together as a couple about what is important to us. To share our hopes and dreams. To acknowledge our mutual desire to have someone else do the housework. 🙂 To speak to the fact that after living happily for endless months in a three-star hotel room in a third-world country we don’t actually need much to be happy.

We don’t have any answers yet, but we have a beginning. There’s so much to talk about. And that’s just grand!

How about you? Do you need to take some time to think about those big questions too?

Thinking of you and sending so much love, Nicole <3 xoxo

Celebrating Our Anniversary ♥

Image from pinterest

Image from pinterest

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
~ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet


Today is the anniversary of our wedding, Ben’s and mine.

Fifteen years of togetherness.

Fifteen years in which we’ve experienced the highs, and the lows.

Fifteen years which have only served to strengthen our love, and to show us how much more there is to know about that deepening place where both our hearts dwell.

I just want to put on record how grateful I am to my husband. He has given up so much for me. He gives so much to me. Throughout the hardest years of my illness, when everyone else had turned away, he was there. He is still here.

Without him, I doubt I would even exist in this body anymore.

How can you ever thank someone for that kind of gift? That kind of sacrifice.

Everything I am able to do is because my darling husband is right behind me, or beside me, or cheering me on, or lifting me up.

I love you, Ben Phillips, and I always will. ♥♥♥

New Moon Creation Ceremony

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~  George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday March 12 is a new moon. This is a powerful energy for creating positive change and manifesting your heart’s desires. It is also a great time for connecting into your own intuitive wisdom, and deepening spiritual connection.

Everything is created first in the zero-point field, that place of potent emptiness that resides as the spaces between the fabric of existence.  The New Moon is potently linked to this space of possibility, where our thoughts and intents begin to shape matter itself into our new reality.

I’ve created a simple guided meditation and a ritual to help anchor your intentions using the transformational forces of the moon as she moves from this place of darkness back into light. It’s symbolic of the journey we take from nothingness to thought-form and finally to manifested reality.

What you’ll need:

  • Paper and pen
  • A glass of water
  • Two small tumbled crystals of your choice
  • A shiny coin (you can use a couple if you like!)

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The first part of the New Moon ritual can be done at any time during the day, or you may choose to do this just before the Ceremony.  Sit in reflection, and then write down a list of what you are ready to manifest or create in your life.  You can be as broad or as specific as you like, but your list should genuinely reflect your innermost desires and your hopes for the future.

Words that can be useful to help strengthen that state of creating or manifesting include the action words: claim, invoke, manifest, intend, believe, draw to me, welcome into my life, create, become, do, transform, embrace, love, adore, cherish, make, construct, transform.

Here are some examples:

I welcome to me new opportunities in the workplace.  I find employment that best utilises my talents and that pays me handsomely for my efforts.

I draw to me a new and loving relationship – a soul mate to love and to cherish, a union for our Highest Good.

I embrace my ability as a writer, and I now create published novels that inspire and delight.

I love these positive changes and new ideas that are returning me to full health.  I attract to me the best people, products and knowledge to transform me in joyful and lasting ways.

I transform my relationship into one of closeness, intimacy and trust.

I am ready to embrace my life purpose as a healer with my own business, helping people to understand and embrace healthy eating, and food as medicine.  I will earn at least $2000 per week, and work hours that allow me to be with my children before and after school.  I will create multiple streams of income from seminars, e-books and speaking engagements as well as face-to-face appointments.

When you have finished expressing what you wish to create keep your list handy – ready for the second part of this ceremony.

On March 12, 2013 (or for any future New Moon), step into the night.  Ensure that you have your list, your crystals and glass of water and your shiny coin/coins.  Allow yourself to become calm and centered.

Ideally set aside a minimum of fifteen minutes, but for those of you who enjoy meditation and reflection allow up to one hour.

If the weather permits, do this healing ceremony outside, once the moon has risen. Do not consume alcohol or recreational drugs prior to this process. If the weather or your situation doesn’t permit working outside, you can work beside a window that allows you to see the moon and feel her energy. Even if it is raining or the sky is obscured by cloud, know that the moon’s energy will still reach you.

Celestial Mandala by Maggie Rose Ryan

Celestial Mandala by Maggie Rose Ryan

Place your glass of water where it can absorb the energy of the moon. And put your crystals and coins where you can access them easily.  Sit or stand quietly and raise your hands above your head.  Draw the energy of the moon down around you like a dark and comforting cape, wrapping it around your body.  Then allow the energy of possibility to fill you up, feeling your body becoming relaxed and peaceful.  Say:

I honour You, and I am grateful for everything.

Let these words really resonate within you.  Stand or sit in communion with the Moon, letting her energy fill you with grace and healing.  Allow yourself to honour your emotions, and know that whatever you feel is necessary right now.

When you are ready hold up a crystal in each hand.  Allow yourself to become filled with hope and anticipation. Say:

I open myself to the potential within me. That which I have written I now desire to be made manifest in my life. I recognise that I am a force for Good in this world and that it is my natural energy to create, to enhance and to multiply.  I claim all of my hopes and desires, made real. I claim abundance of all Good Things.

Now stand or sit in meditation, feeling the energy of the moon, the cosmos and the Universe pouring into your body and magnifying in each of the crystals.  Draw your hands down to your chest and hold them in front of your heart, cradling your stones.

Visualise your list of intentions being absorbed into the fabric of the Universe, as a set of instructions for your life.  Open yourself to any visions, words, ideas or messages that come to you.  You may wish to journal these later so that you don’t forget them.

To conclude your ceremony place your crystals on the ground beside you, lift your arms up to the moon again, and then draw her energy down into your heart, finishing by drawing your hands together, as if in prayer, in line with your heart.  Bow your head, and say

Thank you for the Blessing of Creation.

If you feel moved to say anything else, you may do so now. Trust in yourself and in your own intuitive abilities.

Image from

Image from

When you are ready to choose one crystal as a personal Abundance Stone. You can carry this in your pocket, put it beside your bed, or hold it in meditation.

Place the other stone with the shiny coin/coins and say I now manifest abundance in my life.  Money and opportunity comes to me with ease and flow. My wealth is multiplied from many directions and in many ways.

Leave the crystal with your money in a bowl or on top of a windowsill to charge up for a full twenty four hours.  Then you can put the stone with a bowl full of change to energise more of your money, and place the charged up coin/s in your wallet, bank account or savings jar to attract more money to it.

Finally, take your glass of water.  Say I honour the change that is now coming to pass in my life. I welcome this new energy of creativity and abundance.  Then drink the glass of water.

You may want to sit or lie quietly now to integrate this new energy.

Bless ♥ xx

Day 26 – Gratitude Challenge

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“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi


Human hearts are built for love – to give it, to receive it, to radiate it out into the world…

If you’ve discovered anything during our time together on this gratitude challenge so far, it is this – whenever we develop an attitude of gratitude toward something, we become magnetic towards that energy in our own lives. When we can find areas to be thankful for (even if the blessing feels very small), it opens us to receiving more of that good thing.

So today our focus is on love, and in particular on love relationships.

Love is literally all around us. It is the theme of countless songs, books and movies, it’s at the core of much of our television drama, and it’s played out in our families, with our friends and workmates and in our own lives.

If you are in a love relationship, today, give thanks for that. Think back to when you were first together, and the special moments you shared, think of the love and support you’ve had through the hard times, and the bonds you’ve created together. Celebrate and give thanks for your partnership. Tell them Thank You for loving me.  I’m so grateful to have you in my life. This works a kind of magic on relationships that need revitalization too – whatever we appreciate grows dearer to us, and gains more life and positive energy.  I have seen tired and stagnant relationships blossom under these small attentions.

If you are single, or in a relationship where there is no love, then put your attention on those who have the sort of relationship you would like for yourself. Not to be envious of it – to be thankful for it. Swell that feeling of gratitude in your heart that there are people in the world who have the love you are yearning for.  See them in their happiness and commitment, think of their compatibility, their chemistry, their devotion. Then give genuine thanks for that example of lasting love. Be grateful that such love exists.  Feel excited and uplifted by the possibility of a similar energy of love in your own life. Say Thank You for showing me that True Love is possible.  Thank you for strengthening the energy of Love in the world.

Most of all, practice and give thanks for loving yourself. When we love and treat ourselves well, we attract loving partners who treat us with similar kindness, care and respect!

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As you go throughout your day today, look for evidence of love everywhere. Be that love in your own life.

Now let’s build up some more of that attitude of gratitude with our daily practice…

Counting Our Blessings and Using our Gratitude Rock

If you need a detailed reminder of our daily process, you can review it here in Day 1 of the Gratitude Challenge.

  1. List five Blessings in your journal, explaining why you are grateful for each one.
  2. Count your Blessings off on your fingers, summoning positive emotion and saying Thank You from your heart for each one.
  3. Write the following words on a piece of paper and add them to the ones already under your Gratitude Rock (and trust that I have a plan for these pieces of paper!): I now gratefully open to the energy of Love in my life. I am magnetic to a magical and sacred Union and I welcome it into my Life. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.
  4. Tonight before you go to sleep, hold your Gratitude Rock and affirm I am richly Blessed. I have an Abundance of Good in my life. Visualise one thing you have been grateful for today. Swell that positive energy up in your heart like a beautiful golden light, and give a heart-felt Thank You, Thank You, Thank You to the Universe, then imagine a tiny shower of golden light travelling from your heart into your Gratitude Rock.
  5. Still holding your Gratitude Rock, bless your fellow travellers on this Gratitude Journey by sending them golden light, and saying Thank you.  I Bless You.  I intend for you Love, Miracles and Abundance. Know that as you are saying this for them, they are also saying this for you. Feel that connection and gratitude and know that there is real love and support for you here.

If all you do today is these five steps, know that is enough.

Want to join me for today’s Gratitude Challenge?  If so, here it is:

Heart Healing 

Today’s challenge might be, well, challenging…

Today I want you to close your eyes, and hold an image in your mind of someone who has hurt you in a love relationship. Sincerely, and from your heart, I want you to say Thank you for this Learning Experience.  I forgive you, I wish you well, and I release you with Love. I am grateful for our time together, that taught me so much. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

You can do this process more than once if it feels right to forgive more than one person.

Now hold a picture of yourself in your mind. Sincerely, and from your heart, I want you to say Thank you for being brave enough to Love.  I forgive you, I wish you well, and I release you with Love. I am grateful that I have learned so much. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Finally, hold a picture in your mind of a couple who have the kind of love energy you would like to enjoy in your own life. Or if you are a strong visualiser, imagine yourself already in that type of love relationship. You don’t need words for this – just build a strong energy of love, gratitude, joy and appreciation.

If you are at a time in your life where you no longer desire a relationship external to yourself, visualise a strengthened sense of self-love and a heightened spiritual connection.

Finish this activity by saying I am worthy of Love. I am magnetic to Love. I give thanks for the Love in my life. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Valentine Tree by Alice Mason

Day 1 – Gratitude Challenge

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.” ~Meister Eckhart

Welcome to Day 1 of our 30 Day Gratitude Program.  If you’re only just catching up with us today go here first to find out what you need to do to get ready.

Gratitude is a powerful tool in any Lightworker’s kit.  In fact, it forms an essential part of my Daily Habits. When we say thank you to the Universe, in effect we are placing an order where we are saying more please of all this good stuff, or other things equally as wonderful, or even better!

Today we’re going to initiate our gratitude habit using three primary tools – our hands, a journal and a gratitude rock. Then for the next 30 days we are going to continue this practice. Of course, I shall be spicing it up with extra little challenges and activities, but this shall be the basis of our daily practice.

Using the Gratitude Journal:

* Do this activity as close to the start of every day as possible.  That way you are setting up your day energetically, inviting positive energy and putting yourself into a receptive and abundant state of mind.

Write down five Blessings for today. The Blessing can be anything for which you are thankful.  It can be a big thing or a small thing, it can be from the present or the past, but you must be sincere in having gratitude for this thing in your life.

Write each Blessing like this:

I am grateful for (name the Blessing) because (explain WHY you are grateful for this thing).

Here’s mine from this morning (note that I have not censored this in any way… it’s here in all its inane glory, just so you understand that you can be grateful about anything!):

  1. I am so very grateful for cuddles in the big bed on cold mornings because they make me feel warm, loved and well rested.
  2. I am so very grateful for my sexy new computer because it is fast and efficient and I love using it.
  3. I am totally grateful for Bert (one of my dogs) because he fills my heart with love and happiness.
  4. I am truly blessed to have my sister, because I can talk with her about anything.
  5. I am grateful for socks, because they keep my feet warm and help me be healthy and strong.

Now Count Your Blessings:

Hold up your left hand (or your right, if that feels better to you).  Now using your opposite hand, count a Blessing for each finger and thumb. This simple act of counting acts as a powerful physical anchor for the energetic state of Gratitude.  Use the five Blessings you have written in your journal.

Count each Blessing like this – Touch your thumb and say Today I am grateful for _______________.  As you list each Blessing, visualise that thing in your mind, and summon emotion about that thing.  Feel yourself smile, or radiate love, or feel positive, encouraged, comforted or any other  emotion that makes you feel good. Then say Thank You from your heart.

So my first Blessing sounded like this:

Today I am grateful for cuddles on the big bed. Then I thought about how lovely my cuddle was, and built up a warm, feel-good glow inside. From that feel-good space of gratitude I said a heart-felt Thank You.

When you have a clear picture and emotion, and you’ve said Thank You move onto the next finger.  Touch that finger and repeat the process of counting your Blessing until you have counted your five.

Count your Blessings, one by one. Image from

Using the Gratitude Rock:

The Gratitude Rock anchors positive energy and gratitude at the end of every day.  You can carry your stone with you, or leave it beside your bed.  At night, before you go to sleep, hold your Gratitude Rock in your hand.

As you hold the stone say to yourself I am richly Blessed. I have an Abundance of Good in my life.  Then hold in your mind one or more image of a thing you have been grateful for today.  It doesn’t matter if your review your Blessings from this morning, or add in something new.  Swell that positive energy up in your heart like a beautiful golden light, and give a heart-felt Thank You, Thank You, Thank You to the Universe. Visualise a tiny shower of golden light travelling from your heart into your Gratitude Rock.


Now here’s the fun bit – imagine all of the other people who are taking part in this 30 day challenge with you. Once again build up a strong positive energy in your heart, and then imagine shooting a stream of golden light out into the Universe to those people.

Say Thank you.  I Bless You.  I intend for you Love, Miracles and Abundance. Know that as you are saying this for them, they are also saying this for you. Feel that connection and gratitude and know that there is real love and support for you here. Place your rock back beside your bed, and go to sleep, cocooned in this good energy.

Here’s my Gratitude Rock:

My gorgeous citrine Gratitude Rock

Thanks so much for joining us on this challenge.  Don’t forget to invite your friends!  The more energy we create, the more we all benefit from this activity.  Wishing you a joyous day, full of shift and possibility. Congratulations – you are at the beginning of a grand and life-affirming adventure.  Bless ♥ xx

3O Days of Gratitude to Change Your Life

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Are you ready to change your life?  Are you ready to attract things that make you smile, that improve your health, that attract better jobs and relationships, that make you laugh, that fill your bank account with money and your heart with love and gladness?

If your answer is yes, then read on!

I’m a big believer in counting my Blessings.  In fact, during some of the harder parts of my life thus far, I am convinced that this is the one thing that got me through and out the other side.  The more I have embraced gratitude, the more I have noticed miracles and abundance turning up in my life.

Gratitude has become such a natural part of my life that I forget others might struggle with this concept, or perhaps not even understand it at all.

I decided to create this free 30 Day Gratitude Program in response to a person whose life is becoming increasingly broken as they complain bitterly about how awful it is. Today they asked me for help, and this 30 day challenge is my answer to them.

I promise that if you follow these simple instructions too, within 30 days you’ll start to see results.

Psychologists have found a link between gratitude and well-being. Studies have shown that when a person is depressed, anxious, negative and directionless, they can take control of these emotions and begin to turn them around themselves through a daily practice of finding things to be grateful for in their everyday life. The practice of gratitude literally has the capacity to rewire our brains, firing off more of our feel-good emotions and thinking patterns.  It helps us to remember who we are, what makes us happy, and where we want to go in life.

Conversely, when we focus on complaints, unhappiness and wrongs in our lives, we generate even more feelings of inadequacy, anger, frustration, depression and resentment. None of those energies are good for our health and well-being. It also makes us much less fun to be around.

Eeyore under his cloud of misery – Image from

Of course, in my world, I don’t see this as mere psychology.  I see this as the Law of Attraction in action.  Quite simply, whatever we think about, and attach emotion to, we draw into our lives.  Our thoughts and emotions are magnetic to things of similar energy.

If your life isn’t turning out to your satisfaction, maybe it’s time to tune in to what you are thinking, and make some positive changes.

If you’d like to join me in this challenge, here’s what you need to do:

  1. Find yourself a journal or notebook (yes you can use your computer or ipad etc if that works for you).
  2. Find yourself a gratitude rock.  This is a stone small enough to fit into your hand.  It can be a crystal or an ordinary garden variety rock. Choose what feels good to you.
  3. Set aside ten minutes each morning to read the daily challenge and about ten minutes during the day to work through your daily activity.

There will be a variety of activities, as well as some meditations. None of it will be hard.  Some of it will actually be fun.  And all of it will be working to shift your vibration and make you more magnetic to good in your life.

Want to join me?  If you’re up for it, leave me a comment below.  Let’s make this a giant Gratitude Party.  Feel free to invite your friends too.  The more we create a positive intention and vibration, the more it affects everyone and everything around us in magical ways – and that’s the definition of a Lightworker!

Lastly, write the following pledge in your journal.  When it’s written, repeat it out loud, with as much sincerity as you can muster. That way the Universe is put on notice of your intentions.

Dear Universe,

I am open to the possibility that there is more for me in this life, and I am ready to receive these Blessings by offering my thanks and gratitude in reciprocation.

I am so very grateful for my life, and for the learning opportunities I am being shown.

I am ready to embrace positive change and to accept an avalanche of good in my life. 

My commitment to you is that for the next 30 days (and beyond) I am willing to look for and name things I am thankful for, and to celebrate the many Blessings I already have.

With love and gratitude,

(insert your own name here)


Tomorrow we start Day 1.  See you there!

Releasing Limitations through Journalling

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Can it really be that simple?

Can you really write, and in that act of writing, let go of what is holding you back?


The beauty of this exercise is that often we don’t KNOW what is holding us back – all we know is we’re not getting there…

By writing about what comes up for you around the following images, you’ll begin to tap into those subconscious and unconscious blocks and programs that no longer serve you. Once we know what they are, we can begin to work on changing them!

Choose an area where you would like to have greater results or flow, and then just pick a journal starter and allow yourself to write whatever comes to mind…

Releasing Limitations around Love

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  • Even though I’m lonely and I want to be able to find a soul mate I
  • I don’t deserve love because
  • I’m not really lovable because
  • Having a relationship with me will be difficult because
  • I’m not ready for love because
  • If I was in a love relationship I might not be able to


Releasing Limitations around Health and Wellbeing

  • While I am not well I don’t have to 
  • People don’t understand that because I’m ill I can’t
  • I can’t seem to change my habits, even though I know what I need to do, because
  • There’s just no point in me becoming more fit or healthy because


Releasing Limitations around Success


  • Success scares me because
  • When you’re successful, people start to
  • I’m worried that if I put myself and my work out into the world
  • I don’t feel ready for success because
  • Success isn’t likely to happen for me because
  • The reasons success hasn’t happened for me yet include




Releasing Limitations around Wealth and Abundance

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  • Money isn’t all that great a thing. Lots of people with money are
  • Money changes you, and it changes the people around you. If I had more money I might end up
  • I don’t understand money and wealth.  I don’t know how to
  • If I had more money people would expect me to
  • I’m worried that if I start creating real wealth and cash flow,
  • I don’t deserve to have abundance and wealth because

Releasing Limitations around Your Own Abilities

Humble Man by davidh_


  • If you look back at my long history of mistakes you’ll see that I keep doing
  • The reason other people succeed before me is
  • I have a shortfall in
  • I just can’t seem to be able to
  • I have never been good at



Next week, I’ll show you how to turn this negative energy and thinking into a powerful creative force for good in your life.  Until then, keep writing, and uncovering your blocks, and treat yourself with love and respect.  Remember that all of these thoughts, while sometimes painful to uncover, are also better ‘out’ than still bottled up inside you.

Bless ♥

Don’t be a prisoner to memories…

Image by Florian Imgrund:

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.
~Emily Dickinson, “Time and Eternity”

Memory is notoriously unreliable. Ask any detective or psychologist. Ten people could witness an event and each will have a differing version.  And that version will change over time.

Nothing stays the same. Few things end up looking like the images you store carefully away in your head like old photographs.

Have you ever been back to a place from your childhood and been surprised to find how small it is compared to what you had remembered? Memory gives a brilliance, a drama, a lustre that is added each time we access that moment in our lives. Over time we often embroider extra sparkles, or shade it a little darker.

Don’t get me wrong.  Memory is a wonderful thing. Recalling happy times, remembering and celebrating our relationships and achievements – all of that can have a positive affect on our lives if we’re only dipping into that stream occasionally.

But we can end up living far too much in our heads; wondering what might have been, or thinking about what we could have done differently, what we had, or what we lost. We can become a prisoner to our thoughts. Filled with regrets, or guilts, or suffering. We can harm or limit ourselves with our thinking, because we get stuck in our memories and lose touch with reality.

Fraulein, Roilly le Bas, 2002 by Ellen Von Unwerth

Life is lived in the Now. If we are caught up in regret about a past lover, we miss the soul mate right in front of us. We sit inside, lonely and cold on the couch, instead of running about outside in the sun. One small failure can stop us from ever again attempting the thing where we might shine. We may waste precious time mourning a relationship or situation that would never have delivered us happiness. One great moment can rob you of all of the future joy from the things you’ll never try, because of their perceived inability to match up to that one great thing.

And all the while we are in our head, life goes on, without us.

Let go of the past. Put your memories away. Life is waiting for you, right here at your doorstep. And if you run into ghosts from the past, you’ll most likely find they look nothing like you remembered them anyway.

Life is for living. Life is for experiencing and engaging. There will be time enough to live in your memories, but today go make some new ones.  Embrace life.  It’s a precious gift, and we never know just how long we’ve got, so make the most of it!

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Are you brave enough to follow The Call?

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Have you ever had a crazy, crazy hunch, or an idea you just can’t get out of your head?

Maybe in the middle of being a Dentist you start thinking of Art School.

I mean REALLY thinking about Art School.

You become a closet hoarder of Art School brochures, you haunt their on-line curriculum, and while you spend your days peering into people’s mouths, part of you is dreaming about how different your life could look…

It goes from being a wild idea to the tender beginnings of a plan. (For more information on how to protect that tender plan or idea read this!)

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Or you wake up thinking about Peru.

Of all places!

Your whole life Peru hasn’t even been on the radar and now it’s everywhere. There are posters of Peru in the Travel Agent’s window, your friend lends you a book about Peru, there’s a show about it on the Discovery Channel. Your dreams are filled with llamas and Machu Picchu.

You can’t explain why, but suddenly you have an overwhelming urge to go there.

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It’s known in my world as ‘The Call’.

Maybe it’s God. Spirit. Angels. Your wise Higher Self. Guides.  Your own heart…

Whatever it is, it’s calling you, and it won’t let up.

Art School.  Peru.  Walking across Spain. Entering that competition. Calling your friend from College all those years ago. That idea for the book/TV show/film/restaurant/rock band/charity/house makeover/epic adventure.

You find the seed of a strange and unexpected idea inside you, that grows into something bigger.  It gets reflected back to you from all angles. Waking, sleeping and everything in-between – there it is. The Call.

And in my experience, when you follow that Call, life begins to gift you all manner of support, synchronicity, helpful people and lucky breaks.

You meet your soul mate.  You finally work out what you want to be when you grow up.  Your spiritual and psychic gifts kick in. You do that thing, that leads to the thing (and there could be a bit of a chain of that happening, so insert extra ‘things’ here if necessary) that gets you to this amazing new place of flow and happiness in your life.

You look back later, and see how it all came together; how your life changed direction, how endings and beginnings merged to provide you with a clear path, and a deeper understanding.

When you get The Call will you pay attention? Are you brave enough to say yes? Are you bold enough to follow your heart?

♥ Because what will your life look like if you don’t?

What do you have to lose? ♥

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Soul Mates – How to Recognise One

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle

You might wonder what a Soul Mate relationship feels like, what it looks like, and how you’ll know…

Let’s start by looking at what a Soul Mate relationship is not.

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A Soul Mate will not share every view, feel as you do about everything in the Universe, or be your clone.

A Soul Mate relationship will not be about never arguing.

It will not be about perfection.

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A Soul Mate is not some strange sort of parasitic or unhealthy dependency where you simply can’t survive without them in your life, or where they love you all up and suck you dry, before discarding you to move onto someone fresh.

A Soul Mate relationship won’t be categorised by fear, relentless pain, uncertainty, a feeling of being trapped, or a sense of impending doom.

It won’t be an abusive relationship.

It won’t be a relationship that belittles you, puts you down, discredits or dishonours you. It won’t be a relationship that puts doubts in your head until you begin to question your own judgement, and where your confidence and esteem erode, little by little, until you are weak and frail – a shell of who you were before. You won’t need to keep earning the other person’s love, or proving yourself.

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So what does a Soul Mate relationship look like?

First and foremost, it is always categorised by love.  Not vain love or showy love – but the sort of enduring and deepening love that allows you to grow, together, into something stronger, better and wiser than you were before.

Soul Mate relationships endure – they allow us to suffer the pain, and find a way, together, to move forward. In the presence of love we learn forgiveness, acceptance, compassion.

They bring out the best in us.  They give us comfort, friendship, support, and (often at the most unexpected times) fireworks in our bellies. They help us know laughter, and tears, they help us find the strength in ourselves and in each other.

With a Soul Mate we feel safe, and that safety gives us courage to wander far from home, creating and exploring and enacting our dreams.

Soul Mates believe in us, they’ll fight for us, and they’ll call us on it when we’re mistaken, or heading in the wrong direction. They love us when we have done nothing to deserve it, and when we feel totally unworthy of love, and they remind us to take care of ourselves, while caring for us when we can’t.

And at times, they’ll annoy us or frustrate us so much that we’ll wonder why we didn’t choose the other person. We’ll wish they’d just take a hike and leave us well alone. But in the next breathe we’ll know how miserable we’d be without them in our lives.

The relationship, like yourself, will always be a work in progress, ever changing, ever evolving, at times difficult, sometimes even strained to the point where you momentarily  find it hard to recognise yourself or each other. But it will also have the familiarity and comfort of home. And in the arms of this relationship you’ll know two things – love and safety. More importantly, you’ll get to know your true self.

A Soul Mate will spilt your heart open and you won’t even mind the pain because of all the love and joy you find there.

Can they really be your Soul Mate if you argue?

I grew up in a house where I never heard my parents fight. Sadly, their marriage didn’t last, but it made me certain that arguing was not a part of anything to do with love.

After I had my very first major and quite vocal disagreement (yep, some people would call that a fight…) with my husband, just weeks after we’d been married, I sat on the internal staircase of our house and cried, while my husband went outside to wash the car.

My beautiful Guide, Rollo, spoke to me, and asked, ‘Do you know what a Soul Mate relationship is?’

‘Obviously not!’ I snivelled, feeling totally pathetic and like I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life in getting married. I was sure Rollo was going to confirm that for me too.

Instead he showed me a picture of an oyster. ‘Do you know what happens when a tiny grain of sand gets into that oyster?’ he asked.

‘No,’ I sniffed.

‘It irritates the hell out of the oyster’ my Guide boomed, laughter in his voice.

Exactly, I thought. Irritates the hell out of it.

‘And in the presence of love, the oyster wraps that irritation in a special substance and after a while the pain goes away.’

I felt my Guide smiling at me. ‘Then the tide turns, and that annoying grain of sand moves somewhere else in the oyster, and do you know what happens?’

‘No,’ I replied, slow on the uptake.

‘That grain of sand causes more irritation in a different spot. But if love is present, love keeps wrapping itself around the irritation. The oyster grows, and over time the oyster transforms that grain of sand, in the presence of love, into something of great value and lasting beauty.  That oyster grows a pearl.  Without the irritation and the need to grow, nothing extraordinary would have ever happened.  But when love is present, magical transformation is possible.’

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I could have hugged Rollo. My wise Guide was absolutely right.  I stopped crying and went into the kitchen to make my husband a cup of tea.

It’s true.  Love transforms.  It helps us weather many storms.  It grows us.  It improves us. It comforts us and delights us. And at some stage it causes us pain (usually BECAUSE we love), and love helps us bear that pain. The pain doesn’t weaken us – it strengthens us.  And from that pain we grow into something beautiful.

Rumi, the great poet says it best:

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” 

Double love hearts at sunset by Pink Sherbet Photography