Shiny Unicorn Attack (Cos It Had To Happen…)

“Never laugh at live dragons.” ~ J R R Tolkien

So, I’m standing in a health food store yesterday, waiting while someone finds a product I’d ordered.

I’m miserable. My eyes are streaming and one is gummed closed. My face is blotchy and puffy. I have a UTI and a chest infection and I am herxing badly from Lyme die-off. I’m wearing an adult diaper under my jeans. I am wheezing and coughing. I’m in pain. I look like death. I feel like death. I’m sleep deprived. It’s not my best day. (see yesterday’s blog for the full update)

I’m so uncomfortable. To distract myself while they find my stuff I go for a wander through the aisles. I could use some new lip balm. A sales assistant sidles up beside me and asks me how I am. ‘Awesome,’ I respond.

She looks at me and I smile.

‘Ok,’ I add. ‘Not awesome, but I’m doing okay. Thanks for asking.’

And then she does it. She hits me with the big New Age Shiny Unicorn.

‘Your problem? It’s a mental thing,’ she says. ‘You created it and you’re in charge. Just use some positive affirmations and you can turn it all around. You’ll be feeling better in no time.’ She attempts to lead me towards a helpful display of positive thinking books and Louise Hay affirmation cards.

I had to seriously reign in my violent thoughts.

‘Actually,’ I say, ‘it’s not a mental thing. I’m in pain. A lot of pain. I’m quite unwell. I’m happy, and I have a great life and a lot of gratitude and a good attitude, but I also have pain. No amount of positive affirmations are going to fix that right now.’

She tries again, beaming at me. ‘Oh, come on. You won’t know if you don’t try! You’re a master manifestor who is just doing it wrong. What else is possible? How could you create a happier day?’

I’m sure I’ve wet my pants. I think I can feel urine trickling into my shoe. My skin feels like insects are biting me. I excuse myself and go back to the front counter.

After I’ve paid for my supplements I have a quiet word with the manager about her overly-cheerful staff member and explain the conversation I’ve just endured. The manager has the good grace to look horrified and we agree that some staff training might be appropriate.

Rant over. If you don’t know what the problem is here then refer to this blog post.

Hugs and love, cranky Nicole who is actually still mostly happy and with a good attitude xx

Letting Go in 2012 – Working with the Full Moon

Image from mrdotd.wordpress.com

Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars. 
~ Les Brown

On Sunday, September 30, we will enjoy another glorious Full Moon. Full Moons always have an energy that works with supporting us to ‘release’ things, and as 2012 is a big year for releasing, it’s the perfect time to work on shifting and clearing old patterns, unwanted thoughts and behaviours, and limiting beliefs.  In their place we then set the intention for replacing these energies with things better suited to our positive future growth and abundance.

I’ve blogged about this previously, and there is a very comprehensive set of instructions about conducting your own Full Moon Ritual here:

Full Moon Becoming Ceremony

Every Full Moon also has its own unique energies and flavour.  Last month we were gifted the opportunity to clear ancestral and family beliefs and patternings.  September 2012’s Full Moon gifts us the opportunity to embrace more of our intuitive side.

If you are wanting to become more energetically sensitive, more psychic, and open up more of your own natural spiritual gifts and talents there is something else you can do to work in with the Astral Body energies (Sun, Moon, Planets, Stars) right now.  For the next few days, either side of the moon, you can also try this:

Meditation for Clearing, Shifting and Healing your Psychic Self

This Meditation will ground you, as it opens you up to more of your own natural energetic and psychic ability.  It is very comforting for people who spend most of their day indoors, or in front of a computer. I recommend that you do this meditative practice at least once, either side of the Full Moon, as well as the evening of the Full Moon on September 30.

  1. Find a place outside where you can comfortably stand barefoot on the skin of the earth.  Good, get your position clear.  Find a place where you can do this without interruption.  It is up to you what time of the day you complete your practice.
  2. Drink half a glass of water.
  3. Then stand barefoot on the earth with your face turned toward the sun (or the moon if you do this at night).
  4. Close your eyes.  Draw in sunlight through your heart chakra, or if it is night, draw in moonlight through your third eye.  If it’s cloudy, draw clouds and wind and rain and all those other elements into your belly via your sacral chakra (the second one up, three finger widths below your belly button. Do this for two to five minutes.  Let your body be energised, balanced and healed by the gifts of nature.
  5. When you’re finished, drink the rest of the glass of water.

Image from www.yogapaws.com

Image from www.yogapaws.com

 

Expect to feel different in the days to come.  Expect to be shown things in dreams, to become more perceptive and intuitive.  If you want to work with energy or psychic skills, expect them to become stronger and clearer.

Even if you do not want to choose a life path that is more actively spiritually and psychically connected, you will become more emotionally open, more energised, and more naturally intuitive.

Thank you, for working on your own self growth. Every time we do, it lifts the energy of Mass Consciousness.  Every time we clear and shift old energies, it makes its easier for ourselves and everyone else to become more open to our Soul Truth.

Blessings to you, Dear Friends.  The world needs more Lightworkers. Thank you for being one of them! ♥ xx

Image from www.koraorganics.com

It’s Freak Out Week. So how are YOU feeling?

Image from googleimages.com

Let me ask you a personal question.  Do any of the following sound like you right now (although a few weeks ago you were fine, or certainly more fine than you are now)?

  • exhausted, for no apparent reason
  • achy and unwell in a very non-specific way
  • restless, or feeling like you want to run away
  • scattered
  • teary, for no apparent reason
  • easily triggered into old ‘stuff’
  • anxious, for no apparent reason
  • unable to make decisions
  • suddenly overwhelmed
  • wanting to cry or scream or punch things
  • panicking about decisions you have made
  • irrational
  • arguing with loved ones
  • worrying about things you haven’t worried about for years
  • dealing with issues you thought you’d resolved or worked through
  • bogged down with fear, guilt, or other negative emotions
  • feeling massively hormonal although it’s not your ‘time of month’

It’s not just you. My inbox is crammed this week with emails from people who are experiencing an abnormal increase in the above symptoms, and many of them report that they should feel happy or optimistic based on what’s going on in their lives right now…

For other people life currently feels like hard going, and no cause for optimism whatsoever.

So, if you’re feeling a little strange and out of sorts right now, you’re not alone.  In fact, you’re in very good company.  It’s just that most people are suffering in silence.

Image from chuckthisblog.wordpress.com

Blame it on the moon. There’s currently some big astrology going down. Blame it on 2012.  Remember 2012?  The year that was all about shifting and healing and clearing out the old to make way for the new? Oh yeah…

I know it’s hard just now.  I know it feels intense. But I want to urge you not to give up, and not to give in.  This energy will pass, this weight will lift off your shoulders, and things will become clear again.  The worst will be over by mid-November.

Shift Happens – original artwork by Bad Kitty Art Studio

So what can you do to cope better, and to get through this energy of clearing and shift?

Pull back a little and give yourself some breathing space.  Stand barefoot on the skin of the earth (this means dirt or grass or sand or rock – not concrete or carpet or a timber floor!) and really ground yourself. Do this daily if you can, or even more than once a day.

Nurture yourself.  Cups of tea, gentle walks, good food and plenty of rest.  Hugs are also excellent.

Don’t get stuck in your head.  None of this needs to be deeply thought on, and there is such a risk of over-analysing it all.  Just sit with it, and be willing to let it go.

Massage, body work, and other nurturing and supportive therapies are helpful.

Spend time with books, music, movies and places that uplift, comfort, inspire and restore you.

Meditate, explore yoga and try chi qung.

You might also find these posts helpful for further information and coping strategies:

2012 – A Reading for the Year Ahead

Living Authentically in 2012

Simple Guided Meditation for 2012

Living as a Sensitive Soul

Sensitive Souls and Polar Shifts, Solar Flares and other Astrological Phenomena

Dealing with Psychic Anxiety

Over the years I have come to recognise a certain set of feelings, to which I have given the name ‘Psychic Anxiety’. It’s a very unpleasant sensation that can last from an hour to a couple of days, and it is one of the least fantastic aspects of being spiritually and energetically sensitive.

Oh, don’t get me wrong.  It’s not unbearable, and in fact I have worse feelings related to psychic work at times, especially if it involves violent crimes and dead people.

The biggest problem with psychic anxiety is this unshakable feeling of dread and unease, that sensation of icy chills and ‘something crawling over your grave’ as my Nana calls it.

People who are psychic, or sensitive, generally feel the highs and lows of life more acutely. I like this diagram below, because for me it represents the differences between me and someone who is less sensitive.

Image from http://www.acoustics.salford.ac.uk

Most people live in the middle of the red and green lines, and can go to the high or low of those fields, but may seldom do so. They also usually have a greater physical resilience, a robustness to them.

Energetically sensitive people are represented by the blue line.  We feel and react to energies both above and below those regular red and green bands, although we may also live somewhere in the middle of our band of felt frequencies most of the time. Sensitive people are just that – sensitive – and without the robustness of some other folk. We may act with great robustness for a while, while we are needed or need to get things done, but that sort of energetic output is always at a price.  And sometimes that price is high.

The blessing of sensitivity is that we can feel, see, connect with and know some wonderful and amazing things. It is easy for us to tap into creative flow, to feel love and gratitude, to notice things around us and with the emotions of people around us, and to get high on life…

The difficulty is that sometimes it connects us into those low energies, and this is a painful experience on a soul level, tough emotionally and sometimes physically hard as well.

Usually if I get a psychic message or connection out of the blue (in other words I’m not consciously inviting or controlling it) it feels like this – a big bang on an otherwise normal day:

Uniform sine wave excitation graphic from opensees.berkeley.edu

I get a sudden flood of images, sounds, sensations, feelings, knowledge – all flooding me with a great intensity.  It’s momentary, it passes; although the information will remain, the emotions and energetic kick dissipate quickly.

Psychic anxiety is different.  It’s like an unseen hand rachets up the control knob.  I can’t turn the emotions and energetic kick down or off, but I am also given no information. All I have is the feeling, sometimes so strong that it wipes me out in the same way a severe migraine might. Like an old TV with no image on the screen, cranking out a discordant sound that makes you want to cover your ears or run away screaming.

I know that certain things affect me.  When there are polar shifts I end up flat and exhausted, a little depressed, and often with big hormonal swings.  When there are solar flares I feel restless, unable to sleep, irritable and wound up tight.

But this, this is different.  And I’m grateful it doesn’t happen too often. It’s always tied into great disaster, injustice, cruelty, suffering, death. It’s either building up to happen, or happening as I feel it.

In the days to come the news may let me know what it was all about.  That’s how it was for September 11, the Bali bombing, the tsanamis in 2004 and again last year in Japan.

Sometimes I find out years later – a massacre in Kosovo, in Iraq, in Rwanda…

Sometimes I never find out at all.

So I ride it out.  I keep myself away from crowds.  I swim in the ocean.  I sit under trees, walk in the rain, spend time in the gracious and calming company of my cows.

When I feel stronger I meditate.  I pray.  I light candles. I flood the world with love.  It’s all that I can do. A tiny flicker of light in what can seem like a sea of darkness. But I do it anyway and hope that somehow it helps.