Big Relationship Shifts Ahead!

“The real question is, can you love the real me? Not the perfect person you want me to be, not that image you had of me, but who I really am.”
~ Christine Feehan

 

There’s change in the air, and I thought you’d like to know!

Yesterday I wrote that, among other things, 2016 is a year of bringing what is hidden into the light. A year about owning our shadow, and the unclaimed and rejected parts of ourselves, our families, our societies. About honouring our deepest feelings and longings and intuitions. About needing things to heal or change or mend or end.

Which of course brings us to relationships.

There’s change in the air.

This year, expect that change to be evident in every area of your life, including relationships. Your relationship with yourself, and your relationships with others. Work, friendship, love, family, habits, choices – all of these relationships will be affected.

2016 is a fabulous year for bringing relationships that have developed discord or distance back into better connection and communication.

It’s a year for finding or rediscovering love. For reconnection and healing. For coming together. For finding your tribe.

It’s a year for exiting relationships that can’t meet your needs.

No matter what the year has in store for you, remember that this shift is about positioning you in greater authenticity. You need relationships that are honest and real. Relationships that work. Relationships where you can be loved and accepted for yourself. Relationships that allow growth and deepening and change.

2016 is a fabulous year for relationships. Which means some will need help and attention, and this year is the year for that. Understand that in 2016 some of your relationships might end, to allow better ones to take their place. Be okay with that.

Don’t hang on tight to what’s not working.

Remind yourself, this is a year for love. Love is possible. Love is probable. If it’s truly broken, or finished, let it go. Let go of the hurt too. Open your arms and your heart wide again. Embrace life. Embrace the year.

Image by Jessica Ames

Image by Jessica Ames

I know some of you are growing and shining and life is expanding for you and at the same time you are also struggling with partners who are in difficult places – illness, depression, unemployment, low self-esteem – I’ll blog tomorrow about what you can do in that situation.

Be kind to yourself today!

Much love, Nicole xx

Sneaking Out For Love

Image from Dwallpaper.net

Image from Dwallpaper.net

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
~ Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

 

I was such a good girl, growing up. I never snuck out of the house. I never lied to my parents about where I was going.

Now I’m married though, that’s all changed.

In the middle of my retreat – that’s right, the one I am running – I am sneaking out.

I’ve been calling my husband twice a day, even though our farm is barely ten minutes up the road, and we are only apart for five days. I just want to hear his voice. To find about his day. To say good morning or good night.

Yesterday, like teenagers, we planned a secret tryst.

This morning, very early, my husband will call past the front door of the place where my retreat is being hosted. He’ll be in the farm ute, with Harry Dog chained in the back. I’ll meet him out on the road, and jump in beside him. We’ll hold hands driving into Byron Bay, enjoy a walk, and an early breakfast, and then he’ll whisk me back to the retreat before anyone even notices I have gone.

I feel like a schoolgirl, all sweetly excited and quietly thrilled.

Ain’t love grand!

Image from Love Quotes

Image from Love Quotes

The Power of Story

Image by Kathy Fornal

Image by Kathy Fornal

“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.” 
~ Philip Pullman

 

The past few days have been rough for me. It’s a lyme thing. Partly because of the pathogens that have invaded and taken up residence in my body and partly because of the ongoing treatment to evict them.

I’ve been in excruciating pain. Pain that sets my face into hard lines during the day. Pain that has me whimpering, crying and howling in agony each night. The pain has been slowly escalating over the past few weeks, and now, at its crescendo, my bedroom is no longer a refuge. Nights no longer bracket my days with healing sleep. Instead I descend the stairs into a fiery hell.

I keep everyone awake; my husband, the dogs… even when they sleep in the guest room. My muffled sobs and screams are difficult for them to hear. They find it hard to settle, and they want to be near me, as much as I keep sending them away.

The night before last Ben stole back to our room and held my hand as I struggled. Nothing was helping.

Finally, he began to tell me a story. A story about a little girl who wakes up in a big old house in the middle of the night. She is wide awake and the rest of the house is fast asleep.

She takes her small suitcase and goes to the kitchen, where she packs a few snacks.

Image from Pickcute

Image from Pickcute

“What are the snacks?” I ask.

“Two small square sandwiches, four biscuits and a pot of jam.”

In my head I see each of these things. I wonder about the size of the sandwiches. I wonder about many things. It prompts another question. “What kind of jam?”

“Strawberry.” He strokes my hair tenderly and goes on with the story.

The little girl opens the big front door and heads off into the moonlight.

Soon she comes to a pink forest. All the trees are pink. Their trunks are like glass, lit from within so that they create a soft pink glow. Their leaves are every other shade of pink.

As Ben is creating this imaginary world I am still convulsing and writhing in pain. Tears are streaming down my face. But my mind is no longer so distressed because I am now the little girl wandering alone through this glorious pink forest while the rest of the world sleeps.

Some time in the early morning, I fall asleep for a few merciful hours. And when I wake up my head is still filled with pictures of this night-time escapade.

Over a cup of afternoon tea I ask Ben something that I have been pondering all day. “What is the ground in the pink forest made out of? Is it grass? Or dirt? Or snow? Or something else?”

“I’m sorry,” he says, smiling. “I can only tell this story at night. You’ll have to ask me then.”

Finally, amid all of this current misery, something to look forward to. My beautiful husband is helping me reclaim my nights instead of fearing them.

Image from HDWallIMG

Image from HDWallIMG

 

The Hidden Secrets of my Grandfather’s Heart

My Grandfather's worn leather wallet, with its hidden treasures.

My Grandfather’s worn leather wallet, with its hidden treasures.

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” 
~ Roald Dahl

My maternal Grandfather, Cedric Beresford Nurcombe, better known as Ceddie to those he loved, died two days before Christmas in 2005. He was a wonderful man; hard working, honest, with a great sense of humour and true old-fashioned values.

His marriage to my grandmother, Margaret ( we all called her Marga) remains one of the defining love stories of my life. They met when they were both so young, and were devoted to each other their entire lives.

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Recently my mum shared with me something very dear that she’d found when getting the old family home ready for sale after my grandmother’s death – Ceddie’s old, worn leather wallet, with his initials embossed on a gold button on the front.

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I held that soft leather in my hands and remembered all the times Ceddie had brought that wallet out to buy us kids an ice-cream, or to put petrol in the car, or diesel in the boat. It was as much a part of him as my grandmother’s beaded coin purse was of her.

What was still inside that wallet after his death is what I find most moving, and most revealing about my grandfather.

Ceddie was born in Longreach, the son of a drover, and his early life (which he rarely talked about) was hard. He qualified to become a wool classer, and eventually moved to to the city, marrying my grandmother and setting up the Apex Wool Scour in Brisbane. Still, my grandfather was a country boy who never lost his love for the land, or the memory of where he’d come from.

Here in his wallet was evidence of that. A tiny clipping from a 1950s newspaper with prices for wool sales. Saved as a precious relic for all that time.

Another newspaper clipping from the 1960s – the funeral notice for his sister, Florence.

There are two faded tickets for a Jazz Recital at the Concert Hall in Brisbane back in 1988. My grandparents loved their music. It must have been a memorable occasion for him to have kept those stubs.

But the most touching thing of all is a much-folded and worn piece of paper, on which is written a recipe for Baked Custard. The recipe is painstakingly numbered into steps by a man who was more used to welding, building, power tools and outdoors work than being helpful in the kitchen.

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The kitchen was always my grandmother’s realm. Marga was Queen of the Kitchen and we all acknowledged her skill. She was the one whose love of cooking sparked my own. Marga reigned supreme in the house, and in her garden. My grandfather took care of driving, business and everything else.

But as she aged, my grandmother suffered from poor health. She was diabetic, her eyesight began to fail, and she was hospitalised for a series of infections which had started in her jaw and then nearly killed her.

Marga couldn’t eat the hospital food. She was losing weight, losing strength and losing hope. So my grandfather took careful notes, and made her a baked custard which he brought up to her – good nourishing food to her own recipe. He kept making the baked custard for her until she came home, and even after that he continued to bake it for the rest of his life, taking great pride in his ability to make the ‘perfect’ custard dish. For months it was all his beloved wife could eat. Marga used to credit my grandfather’s cooking with saving her life. In fact, I’m sure it did.

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I treasure the secrets in my grandfather’s wallet. They’re a window into what was most precious in his life. They reveal a man with the tenderest of hearts.

That little scrap of paper with the custard recipe shows me that true love exists and endures, and that love, home and family remain the most important things in the world.

My wish for you today is that your own heart be filled with what matters most to you. All my love, ♥ Nicole xx

Tree Oracle Reading for Embracing Change

“It is not so much for its beauty that the forest makes a claim upon men’s hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air that emanation from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.”  ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Trees have long been known as Sacred Guardians of the Earth. Old trees are like wise old souls, full of an energy of calm and clarity. Today’s Tree Oracle images have been chosen specifically to help advise and guide you as you navigate through these current energies of change.

The energies of 2012 and all that went before are finally fading. Fresh possibilities are opening up for each of us. Opportunities for us to branch out in new directions.

Let each image speak to you in its own way.  One of them will have wisdom just for you!

Instructions for using today’s post

Scroll down through the following Tree images and then let yourself come back to the one you are most drawn to.

When you have chosen your Tree, scroll further down for your message. Take what resonates for you, and apply it in your life over the coming weeks.

Trust that you will be shown what you most need to know right now.

Love and Light,

Nicole ♥ xx

Let The Trees Guide You…

1. Mystic River Tree

2. Night and Day Tree

3. Radiant Maple Tree

Image from www.holycraft.com

Image from www.holycraft.com

4. Grove of Power 

5. Sacred Companions Tree

6. Nightscape Tree

Image from www.wallgc.com

Image from www.wallgc.com

7.  Socotra Dragon Blood Tree

Image from wikimedia

Image from wikimedia

8. Star of Hope Tree

♥ The Message and Gift of each Tree ♥

Each Tree image has a message for you. I have also selected a crystal to best support the message and energies of your chosen Tree.  You could wear or hold this crystal, pop it in your pocket, under your pillow or beside your bed. (If you’d like to know more about working with crystals click here.) The Action Step is a tangible step you can take to begin anchoring these energies of positive change in your life.

1.  Mystic River Tree:

♥ Message – It’s time to let your Inner Wisdom Shine. Why are you making this so hard for yourself? Relax and take a deep breath. You don’t have to reinvent yourself, or even the path you need to take. Teaching, communicating, guiding, healing, sharing. That’s your thing. The Mystic River Tree shows you that the world is like a mirror: reflecting back to you others whom you can use as role models; messages, ideas and techniques you can use on your journey; and reminding you to share your own gifts and talents with the world. You overwhelm yourself with the bigness of the task, when all beginnings have always started in humble ways, and small sharings. From little things, big things grow.

♥ Crystal – Clear Quartz  

♥ Action Step – Break your ideas down into small do-able tasks and find a role model (in your own field or even just someone that you’re drawn to) so that you can learn from what they are doing. Pick one simple thing and make a start!

2.  Night and Day Tree:

♥ Message – You’re being called to move in a brand new direction. Don’t throw in your day job just yet though. For now, have gratitude for the security the known brings. It’s okay to stay in the job, the home, the relationship… No one but you need know of your plans for future change if it doesn’t feel right to share your hopes and dreams just yet. It is possible, for a time, to devote energy to two things – completion of the old, and beginnings of the new. These gentle beginnings will be so much less stressful if you allow the Universe to support you as you continue on your current path, while you create the foundations for a path that will one day take you in a whole new direction.

♥ Crystal – Citrine

Action Step – Attend to your security. Whether it’s emotional, financial, health, family, spiritual or a combination of all of those things – ensure that the bills are paid, that the pressure comes off, and that this sense of security can then allow you to take baby steps towards your ultimate transformation. Now is not the time for risks. Make sure those immediate foundations are strong.

3.  Radiant Maple Tree:

♥ Message – Embracing the possibility of earning an income from your gifts and talents. You know what? You’re the real deal. Your ideas are sound. You’re coming from a place of integrity, what you have to share is wanted in the world. But… you have no confidence, no belief in your abilities, and you aren’t backing yourself when it counts. The Universe has just issued an invitation to you. It’s time! Trust, charge what you’re worth, offer up your gifts and talents, find some mentors and support and then plunge in. Your time is now. Begin!

♥ Crystal – Red Jasper

Action Step – Confidence through action. We can’t wait for confidence to come, we need to act in order to DEVELOP that confidence in ourselves and our abilities. Identify some action that clearly shows the Universe you are open and ready for business, no matter how humble that beginning may be.

4.  Grove of Power:

♥ Message – You need a team – it’s so much easier than trying to do this all  on your own. Just because you CAN do it, doesn’t mean that you HAVE to do it. The next step in your growth is to create that support network. There are few people who have succeeded entirely on their own efforts. Don’t be afraid to draw people to you who can help you become all you desire to be. Teachers, associates, affiliates, mentors, spiritual guides, assistants, health care professionals, accountants, researchers, house cleaners, child minders, dog walkers, whatever it is that you need – look for ways that others can advise you, build your skills or free up your time, leaving you more opportunities to do what you do best.

♥ Crystal – Sodalite

Action Step – Delegation. No-one can do everything themselves. Find one small area that you are ready to hand over to someone else, and act on that. Practice allowing yourself to be open to support in all its forms.

5.  Sacred Companions Tree:

♥ Message – Trust! There is great connection and love on its way to you. This may take the form of a love relationship, a friendship, a mentor, a pet, or even a child. For some it may also include those from the spirit realms. Open your heart. Breathe in Love. Accept healing and hope. Know that this life is a journey meant to be shared.

♥ Crystal – Amethyst

Action Step – Get clear about what you want! Write a list for the Universe. What is your heart’s innermost desire for companionship? What are you ready to heal or let go of? What are you now ready to call in to your life? Be as specific as feels right for you.

6.  Nightscape Tree:

♥ Message – Have patience – you’re a work in progress and it’s all still unfolding. The ways of the Universe can be both gentle and profound. Expect to feel a readiness for change without knowing what that change may be. Inspiration and guidance will come to you in many forms, including dreams, cards, personal messengers, music and books. Know that your intuition and Divine Synchronicity will lead you in unexpected but wonderful directions. Stay open. Stay alert and watchful, but calm… All is well.

♥ Crystal – Moonstone

Action Step – Journalling, visualisation and meditation will begin to reveal the path to you. Spend time on your own, and trust that the vision for your future will unfold piece by precious piece.

7.  Socotra Dragon Blood Tree:

♥ Message – Build scaffolds for your ideas. Create structure for your passions. Passion and keen interest is a sacred energy that aligns you with your heart’s purpose. But passion without structure cannot create stable foundations or a sustainable future.  Right now you need a plan. And from that plan you need to create structure. A routine. Goals. Priorities. Not to make life harder, but to ensure that you can make your dreams reality.  A brilliant time for study, new undertakings and all forms of renovations for the body, mind, spirit and career. 

♥ Crystal – Ruby or Ruby in Zoisite 

Action Step – Plan, diarise, investigate and organise. Determine your short and long term goals and then break those goals down into smaller achievable steps and targets. Implement those plans. Reassess often.

8: Star of Hope Tree:

♥ Message – Now is a time of endings. Patterns are being broken, hard times and suffering shall fall away. You are called upon to have courage, to look deep into your own heart and to let go of all that is holding you back. Know that you will not remain empty-handed for long. Sometimes we need to put our burdens down first, before we can pick up something new that will be more suited to our needs, talents and energies. Ask for help if it is needed. Seek professional guidance and emotional support, call upon your Guides, Angels, Ancestors and God, whatever you perceive that energy to be.

♥ Crystal – Smoky Quartz

Action Step – Identify a habit, relationship or pattern that you are ready to change.  Look for guidance in bringing about that change. Research, find support and actively seek to create something new that better serves you.

PS – If you’d like to do further work with letting go of those old energies of 2012 you might enjoy my free Guided Meditation for releasing 2012.

 

Recognising Karmic Relationships

Lovers - by Olivia Bee

Lovers – by Olivia Bee

“When someone has a strong intuitive connection, Buddhism suggests that it’s because of karma, some past connection.”
~ Richard Gere

 

Karmic relationships are a big part of our growth. We can experience a karmic relationship with lovers, siblings, children, parents or friends, even work colleagues.

Contrary to popular opinion, not all karmic relationships are soul mate relationships.  Rather, karmic relationships happen because before we came to this life we have made a conscious choice to come together with another soul so that we can share, support, learn, heal, resolve past life issues, forgive and grow.

There are several defining characteristics of karmic relationships, but the most obvious ones are:

  • instant recognition of each other on some level, especially when there is no way you have ever met before
  • strong, and often unexplainable attraction (the sort we can’t justify to ourselves, let alone family or friends)
  • an intensity to the relationship, either positive or negative
  • a tendency for the relationship to become for a time, the most dominant or perhaps even our ONLY relationship
  • a deep emotional or physical connection, often that has an addictive quality
  • an ability to really press each other’s buttons
  • an inability to easily walk away
  • a feeling of the need to stay, even if it is hard, so that you can work through or resolve something

Usually karmic relationships serve to bring you together for a definite purpose, and once that purpose is achieved, the ‘spell’ is broken and the relationship loses its pull. Looking back you might wonder what ever brought you together – even you won’t understand it!

Many of my clients have experienced intense friendships or love relationships that taught them hard lessons, that changed them in some way, and that caused them to move in a new direction.  Often these relationships were painful, uncomfortable and a wild ride.  None of their friends or family understood why they were in that relationship, and it often made little sense to my clients either, but they couldn’t seem to help it or avoid the pull of the other person.

A large number of them then went on to find a lifelong partner, or a satisfying new life direction…

Not all relationships are difficult – some are wonderful, but last only a short time.  They buoy us up and remind us of something positive and important about ourselves, building a stronger sense of self and purpose.

Some karmic relationships will support you for your entire life, and if one person dies before the other the one who remains will not find someone to replace that love, and that feeling of deep connection will endure even if that person takes a new partner.  Note – this relationship may not be with a lover, but could also be with a friend or family member.

These enduring karmic relationships are characterised by:

  • the feeling that you understand in each in ways other people can’t
  • a feeling of loyalty and a deep bond
  • a sense of being very comfortable with the other person, as if you’ve known them forever, even if you’ve just met
  • a knowledge that you are sharing a path through life
  • a feeling of deep trust, and a knowledge that you are supported by this person
  • an easiness with one another, even if you do have issues to work through
  • an ability to truly forgive, and to move on, together
Image from www.services.flickie.com

Image from www.services.flickie.com

We are all connected, often in ways we can’t possibly understand from where we are, down here. I find it incredibly reassuring, to know that love transcends time and space, and that we care enough about each other as souls to show up in each others lives over and over again.
If you’d like to read more about karmic relationships and the incredible power of love you might enjoy these posts:
The baby who needed to speak – about the love between brothers and a powerful act of forgiveness and redemption
The lady who walked out of my past – an enduring romantic love across time and space, and the karmic love connections of a soul group and family
Alice’s lifelong invisible friend – how love endures and supports us even when someone has died
Our spooky pup – an argument for pet reincarnation – our pets often come back to us, in that same karmic wheel of love

A Guided Meditation for Heart Healing

“The human heart has a way of making itself large again even after it’s been broken into a million pieces.” 
~ Robert James Waller, The Bridges of Madison County

No-one is immune to heartache, loneliness or troubled relationships. Human hearts were made to love, but in loving – or having no-one to love – our heart can get bent out of shape, cracked or even broken.

The Japanese have a practice called Kintsugi. They take broken pottery and mend it with amalgam infused with gold dust so that the repair work is obvious.  The restored pottery is considered to have great value because of the fact that the object has suffered damage and has then been restored so that the flaws and damage are shown rather than hidden.  It becomes a thing of beauty.

Kintsugi - image from plrc

Kintsugi – image from plrc

This reminded me of the human heart, and Rumi’s beautiful quote:

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” 

Today I’ve recorded a guided meditation that focuses on heart healing. It takes sixteen minutes, but I would suggest allowing extra time at the end for you to integrate the energy of the meditation.

All you need to do is find a spot to sit or lie quietly, and then follow along to the sound of my voice.  Feel free to hold a crystal of your choice if that feels right for you.

When you’re ready just click on the play button below:

Nicole Cody’s Guided Meditation for Heart Healing

You are beautiful, worthy and lovable just as you are.

You can heal, and you can know love. Love is your pure nature. It is what we have come from and the energy to which we will return.

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