Two Steps Forward…

 

2014-07-21 09.45.26

“Progress, of the best kind, is comparatively slow. Great results cannot be achieved at once; and we must be satisfied to advance in life as we walk, step by step.” ~ Samuel Smiles

 

It’s been a frustrating few days for me.

I’ve recently changed Lyme doctors, and begun a new regime of drugs and herbs for my Lyme and co-infections. I’m filled with optimism for my return to health, and although I’m tired it had all been going well until the tail end of Monday.

I’d taken the first dose of a new drug that morning, and been fine.

But suddenly on late Monday afternoon my speech began to slur, words vanished from my brain, my eyes blurred until I could not see at all, I walked like a drunk woman and I forgot how to do the simplest tasks, like cleaning my teeth. My night was filled with hallucinations. I was sure that lizards (Lizards? Oh, Nicole!) were hiding in the bedclothes and coming out to bite me when the lights were out. Of course there were no lizards, just the sting in my nerves and skin from the herxing as the bacteria within me died and flooded my body with their nasty neurotoxins.

A little bit scary, but also a familiar road. This happened last time I took this particular medication too. But this time my reaction has been less severe, my pain less too.

All my symptoms are finally settling down again, but it’s a good reminder that with Lyme treatment it’s so often two steps forward, one step back.

And you know, two steps forward one step back is STILL one step forward when you do the math. 🙂

PS – Don’t you love that photo of Bert? He looks how I feel!

Image from Inspirably

Image from Inspirably

20 thoughts on “Two Steps Forward…

  1. I don’t know what to say about what you are going through because I hate that you and others like you, are suffering so I’m sending enormous love and hugs xoxo

    • It’s okay, Leesa. Really. Even though it’s suckful too. I have Nurse Bert and his trusty sidekick Harry to look after me. And lizards biting me? With their hard plastic mouths no less. A very Sheldon Cooper moment. I’ve been laughing about that a lot. At least in the middle of the misery my brain is still entertaining. Big love to you too xoxo

  2. Two steps forward, one step back is also known as the cha-cha! Keep dancing lovely lady – you’re getting there and I send you love, strength and healing xxx

  3. You have determination plus and deserve a smiley stamp AND a gold star plus the obligatory hug and shed loads of love :). Loved the last quote too – a salient reminder to those of us are struggling with life’s ups and downs to keep moving forward as you do. Bless. You’re a champ xxxx

  4. Hi Nicole!That’s our strong pal! Life is more miserable if we do not take steps in a new directions, although there are risks involved but there is hope too.Sometimes the strong winds of opposition resist us, and push us backwards, but the ones who survive are the ones who are bent upon living, and who have strong motivation to create an equilibrium.And you sure have plenty of support out there….
    By the way, i can relate to your situation because i am also a patient of Rheumatoid Arthritis for past 10 yrs, and a survivor just like you.I am also going through a flare up phase nowadays, and a new med has been added which will take a few months to take effect.Till then, it me and the NSAID’s.My motivation – my kids!!!
    Hang in there dear, squeeze a lime in the eyes of that lyme! It can only tickle and tease you, your shield is very strong for it!

  5. Being extremely tired and worn down yesterday from my twosteps which seem endless – tears running all day – feeling actually more like threesteps backwards, I found your pages and meditation when I needed it the most. I came to realize that me being a lightworker as well as a person who just don’t want to be here anymore, sends the universe a very split message. I suddenly understood how the endless doldrums I feel that I am in, come into existence. I also understood that I now had to make a choice – and stick to it. I made my choice, and here I am. I began today with your generous, loving voice and meditations. I will use them every morning to start my days for a while. I thank you with all my heart for your generosity, sending you love, light and healing in return. You are now in my heart, mind and prayers, too!

  6. Hi Nicole! I think we have the same lyme doc now :). I hope that you’ll have great success with this new round of battle.

    The intricacies of this disease continue to blow my mind. At the moment, as I beat back one co-infection the other grows stronger and vice versa. How does Mother Nature come up with this stuff?

    I think of you often and always with the hope that in your next post you will be completely healthy again xo

  7. I second Lyn Sykes …you take care and give Burt a great big hug form me, and don’t forget Harry , I wouldn’t want to cause trouble .
    Cherryx

  8. Bless you, Nicole, you are always in my prayers. You are an amazing role model for all of us facing challenges. You are so real, facing the good days and the sucky days with grace. Much love, my friend xxx (May the angels ease your pain, sleep soundly and heal)

  9. Pingback: Attack of the Gorn | Cauldrons and Cupcakes

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