How Controversial Should I Be?

“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.” 
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

I was working with a client a few days ago, and the topic rolled around to suicide.

She had been suicidal once, at a truly difficult time in her life. With therapy and support her life has now moved beyond the worst of the pain and back to a place of balance. But there is no-one to talk with about what happened, she said, now that she no longer pays a therapist to listen. And she worries people will think she is still in that space if she tries to talk about it with friends or family.

‘I understand,’ I said to her.

‘How could you?’ she answered crossly. ‘Only people who’ve been there understand. I mean REALLY understand.’

‘I can feel into your body, and step inside you where you met that pain head-on. So yes, I can understand it from inside you – as a psychic,’ I said, ‘but I also understand. Me. I understand.’ I said those last words more slowly this time, weighting each one.

‘No way,’ she said. ‘You? I don’t believe it.’ She looked genuinely shocked.

‘It’s true.’ I looked her in the eye. ‘I have stood in that place twice, and both times it was unexpected. Each place was a different planet I hope never to go back to. Both times I found a solution that ultimately kept me here. And you’re right. No-one ever talks about this stuff.’

We were out of time, and this was about me now, not about her.

‘Maybe you could blog about it,’ she said to me as we finished up. ‘I would have found that useful, to have known someone like you could have had feelings like me. I mean, I was so f*cked up and broken and ashamed…’ She paused. ‘To have read that, to read that now, would still be helpful. So, could you?’

What do you think, dear Tribe? I’ve written about being psychic and being incontinent and all other manner of personal over-sharing. Should I break this taboo too?

I’ll be guided by you.

Much love, Nicole xx

I’m Not Ashamed

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” 
~ Brené Brown

‘Oh, Nicole!’ That’s how the email started.

‘Darling friend, I’m so sorry to hear you are still battling Lyme disease. I hope you’re on the mend soon. Just wanted to give you some advice. What you write stays on the internet forever unless you decide to remove it, and even then it may be too late. So why on earth did you write about having incontinence? Nic, pull it down as soon as you can. That kind of stuff is so damaging for your image, and if you ever get a publishing deal you’ll regret this kind of over-sharing. Trust me.’

Hmmm….

Over-sharing? I don’t think so. Damaging? Some people will judge me, for sure. But they are not my people. You, dear readers, are my people.

Here’s what I know about my tribe, and about life in general.

Shit happens. Terrible, awful things can happen to good people for no reason. Life-changing accidents can happen in the blink of an eye. Wear and tear, illness and calamity can render the most sound of bodies and minds suddenly limpy, broken or cobbled together with tape, string, tears, stubbornness and fervent prayers. Many illnesses and incapacities are invisible. People live with all kinds of pains, traumas and problems that most people around them will never even guess at.

Right now I am suffering from neurological incontinence. Inflammation in my brain and nerves makes a signal go haywire and sends a message to my bladder instructing it to void. Which it does with no permission from me. One minute I have a full bladder, the next minute my bladder is emptying wherever I happen to be and no matter what I am wearing, doing or what my plans might be. It’s happened to me dozens of times over the years since I first began treatment for Lyme, and my solution is adult diapers. Which mostly work, and sometimes don’t.

People can suffer from neurological incontinence as a side effect of MS, advanced Lyme disease, brain or spinal cord injury, brain lesions, degenerative brain diseases, or the long term effects of radiation or cancer treatment, alcoholism or diabetes. It affects men and women, children through to people in old age. It affects me.

One day it may affect you or someone you love.

Few of us get a free pass through life with no adverse side-effects! My dear friend Carly-Jay and I often have a laugh over the bits of our bodies or bodily functions that fail us. We belong to a club of people who live well despite how our bodies sometimes misfunction or misbehave. We call that club the Unreliable Club and I’m sure some of you are already card-carrying members. (Maybe we need t-shirts!)

When I was first diagnosed with neurological incontinence (which comes and goes in me – I last had an attack a few years ago!) I looked everywhere for information and found almost none. It’s something no-one talks about.

So, I’m talking about it here. It’s not the end of the world. It can be managed. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

It’s just wee. Everyone does it. Every single day. It’s a normal part of life, and for some people it’s a part of life that doesn’t work well for any number of reasons. If more people talked openly about this kind of thing we’d realise just how prevalent these kinds of issues are AND THEY ARE NOTHING FOR WHICH YOU NEED EVER FEEL SHAME.

The Continence Foundation of Australia offers the following statistics:

  • Urinary incontinence affects up to 13% of Australian men and up to 37% of Australian women (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare report, 2006).
  • 65% of women and 30% of men sitting in a GP waiting room report some type of urinary incontinence, yet only 31% of these people report having sought help from a health professional (Byles & Chiarelli, 2003: Help seeking for urinary incontinence: a survey of those attending GP waiting rooms, Australian and New Zealand Continence Journal).
  • 70% of people with urinary leakage do not seek advice and treatment for their problem (Millard, 1998: The prevalence of urinary incontinence in Australia, Australian and New Zealand Continence Journal).
  • An Australian study found that over a three month period, 50% of women aged 45-59 years of age experienced some degree of mild, moderate or severe urinary incontinence (Millard, 1998: The prevalence of urinary incontinence in Australia, Australian and New Zealand Continence Journal). 
  • The prevalence of urge incontinence, which is strongly associated with prostate disease, is fairly low in younger males and increases to 30% for those aged 70-84 and 50% for those 85 years and over (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare report, 2006).

It’s wee. It’s not working in a very controlled manner in me just now. That’s okay. I have bigger stuff to think about. This is just small stuff, not worth sweating over.

If you feel the need to unfollow me, unfriend me or avoid me because of my bladder control issues and embarrassing habit of oversharing then go right ahead. I’ll still be here for you when life gets bumpy. And then I’ll remind you that you can still live the dream while rocking adult diapers and I won’t love you any less for it. Instead, I’ll be cheering you on!

Much love, Nicole xx

Shiny Unicorn Attack (Cos It Had To Happen…)

“Never laugh at live dragons.” ~ J R R Tolkien

So, I’m standing in a health food store yesterday, waiting while someone finds a product I’d ordered.

I’m miserable. My eyes are streaming and one is gummed closed. My face is blotchy and puffy. I have a UTI and a chest infection and I am herxing badly from Lyme die-off. I’m wearing an adult diaper under my jeans. I am wheezing and coughing. I’m in pain. I look like death. I feel like death. I’m sleep deprived. It’s not my best day. (see yesterday’s blog for the full update)

I’m so uncomfortable. To distract myself while they find my stuff I go for a wander through the aisles. I could use some new lip balm. A sales assistant sidles up beside me and asks me how I am. ‘Awesome,’ I respond.

She looks at me and I smile.

‘Ok,’ I add. ‘Not awesome, but I’m doing okay. Thanks for asking.’

And then she does it. She hits me with the big New Age Shiny Unicorn.

‘Your problem? It’s a mental thing,’ she says. ‘You created it and you’re in charge. Just use some positive affirmations and you can turn it all around. You’ll be feeling better in no time.’ She attempts to lead me towards a helpful display of positive thinking books and Louise Hay affirmation cards.

I had to seriously reign in my violent thoughts.

‘Actually,’ I say, ‘it’s not a mental thing. I’m in pain. A lot of pain. I’m quite unwell. I’m happy, and I have a great life and a lot of gratitude and a good attitude, but I also have pain. No amount of positive affirmations are going to fix that right now.’

She tries again, beaming at me. ‘Oh, come on. You won’t know if you don’t try! You’re a master manifestor who is just doing it wrong. What else is possible? How could you create a happier day?’

I’m sure I’ve wet my pants. I think I can feel urine trickling into my shoe. My skin feels like insects are biting me. I excuse myself and go back to the front counter.

After I’ve paid for my supplements I have a quiet word with the manager about her overly-cheerful staff member and explain the conversation I’ve just endured. The manager has the good grace to look horrified and we agree that some staff training might be appropriate.

Rant over. If you don’t know what the problem is here then refer to this blog post.

Hugs and love, cranky Nicole who is actually still mostly happy and with a good attitude xx

Gumboot Adventure and a Lyme Update


“One final paragraph of advice: do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am – a reluctant enthusiast….a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it’s still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a while and contemplate the precious stillness, the lovely, mysterious, and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this much; I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk-bound men and women with their hearts in a safe deposit box, and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this; You will outlive the bastards.” 
~ Edward Abbey

*Note: I recommend reading all the way to the end of this post. Past the pictures even. Oh yes, I do.

People are always asking how I am and I almost always say ‘fine, thanks’.

Truth is, I have advanced late-stage Lyme disease, and as with any chronic degenerative illness I have a catalogue of woes so to actually tell you how I am might take hours. Boring. I’m over it long ago. So ‘fine’ or ‘okay’ mostly does the job. I manage. Many days are great, and I am working, living and making the most of what I can. Happy, happy. I don’t dwell on my health or lack thereof.

Mostly.

I’ll level with you, though. The last few days have been rough.

I’m miserable right now.

I picked up a cough while visiting Ben’s mum in the nursing home. After four weeks it has steadily become worse and I can’t shake it. Because of that, my UTI flared up. I’ve been peeing five times a night and my bladder is agonisingly sore. I have been feeling myself slowing getting more run down no matter how good my self-care and health care has been.

So I started on new Chinese herbs two days ago for my latest infections. Great news – they’re working! Less great news? They are also killing Lyme Bugs so I am herxing like crazy as the Lyme dies and releases toxins into my already overloaded body. My eyes are red and streaming and only one is working, only one side of my face is mobile and responsive, my skin is on fire, I’m photophobic, I have stabby pains and night sweats and swollen glands and bone aches and head aches and nerve spasms and tender teeth and numb fingers and toes and neurological incontinence (I wee my pants for no reason!) and generally more misery than I remembered was possible. Yay? But fighting bugs, so yay!!!!! Now we’re working on getting the dosage correct so that I can manage the chest and UTI infections without going mad from herxing. Please don’t worry. I’m in good hands. (And yes, I have cried, screamed and whimpered often this past few days because I’d forgotten how truly awful herxing can be.)

I’m smiling here, honest! It’s just that only one side of my mouth lifts up right now…

In the midst of all of this misery I needed to go open a gate at the farm for Ben. I got out of bed, left my pyjama top on, threw on some shorts and my gumboots and slogged down to the Tractor Shed paddock.

Oh. It was so beautiful there in the misty cold afternoon. The ground was soft and green and lush. The trees shone with a vibrant light, and the birds sang. It felt good to be out of bed and outdoors.

When my short adventure was over I hastened back to a hot shower, fresh pyjamas and more rest.

It was worth it to have that little gumboot adventure.

I’m wishing you little adventures too. No matter how shitty life gets, a little tiny adventure, a small moment fully lived, a simple pleasure fully and mindfully experienced – that’s what makes it all more manageable. I rate my coping skills as high. And that’s one of the reasons why!

Biggest love and hugs from this tired and battered Lyme Warrior. I’ll be back at my best soon, I’m sure. Meanwhile, I’m happy to be herxy. (Well, mostly! xx)

PSS – Thanks if you scrolled down this far. Just a reminder that I am massively sleep deprived and in pain right now. So if you:

  1. suggest that positive thinking might be beneficial or a cure-all,
  2. offer to hook me up with your miracle-inducing network marketing product, or
  3. remind me that I somehow manifested all of this as a learning experience,
  4. or that this is karmic

then I can’t be held responsible for my actions. Need more help with this because you’re itching to do one of the above? Read this first.

Choosing Love and Kindness- Monday Oracle 20 May 2019

“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

Hello, Lovelies!

May is such a breakthrough month – it’s a time for positive progress, big leaps forward and fine-tuning of your self-awareness. Use experts and wise people to help you move past stuckness and overwhelm, and find your balance between sustainability and momentum. Expect your own wisdom to grow too this month! Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of inspiration which the card Unconditional Love brings us.

Unconditional Love has an important message about the space that you choose to occupy this week. This is that space of loving yourself – of not treating yourself cheaply or meanly but instead treating yourself with kindness and care.

What does that mean? This is you being able to cherish yourself when you make a purchase so that you are choosing one beautiful thing rather than a whole heap of cheap things. It’s about saving up for the thing that you really want rather than just being second best with whatever is the thing that is important to you. It’s about making healthy food choices rather than feeding yourself junk, it’s about not buying what you can’t afford, it’s about not letting others devalue you, use you or exploit you.

This is you silencing that mean and judgemental voice in your head that endlessly nags and criticises. This is you choosing to support yourself, encourage yourself and motivate yourself. This is you putting up boundaries – for yourself and for others, so that you live in an energy of respect and self-care.

It’s about giving yourself the gift of time, the gift of care, the gift of space in your life for you and for what matters to you. It’s about slowing down and truly being in the moment. It’s about LIVING, not just existing.

It’s also about making peace with where you are now, even as you desire more or better for the future you.

This week Unconditional Love reminds you to remember that you matter and that your life matters. Tune in and rediscover love for yourself, reach into awareness to find that understanding of what your needs are – lifting your self-worth, lifting your self-esteem and really starting to trust that you can provide for yourself with whatever it is that you need. It’s a really beautiful space of self-discovery and self-knowing.

The other thing that this week is about is the love that you radiate out from yourself in your thoughts and actions – especially in regard to looking after the planet. It is having that unconditional love for family, for the community, for the environment and feeling really impassioned to do things that support those areas of your life as well.

Supportive crystals this week?

Pyrite provides passion, power and protection. It builds determination and self-belief. 
Dalmatian Jasper (pictured) helps you move forward, living in mindfulness. It releases stress and amplifies joy. Snowflake Obsidian is a wonderful stone for any form of pattern-breaking, helping you to invite or invoke change. Rhodonite is great for supporting you to follow your heart. 

Helpful essential oils?

Combine Lime and Cypress Essential Oils for an uplifting and focusing diffuser blend this week.

Lime helps clear away stale energy, Use it to clear away any disappointments, hurts or negative emotions that are holding you back from being kind to yourself and accepting of yourself. It brings a sense of optimism and renewal for body, mind and spirit.

Cypress is really like taking an energetic broom to the cobwebs in the corners of your life. It gifts focus and clarity, and is a beautiful oil for enhancing calm concentration. It supports being able to plan your life without being limited by self-sabotage or negative thinking.

I’m passionate about essential oils and their capacity to support our wellness journey and our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. If you’d like to know more or want to source the oils I recommend and trust visit this site or contact me at channelnc@gmail.com
I’m also looking for three key people right now to train as future leaders and work with me around sharing and using essential oils. If that sounds like you, contact me via the email address above.

Want to come join me for a Fairy Wisdom Workshop and Yummy High Tea?

If the answer is YES then I invite you to come join us in Brisbane on Saturday June 22 for a very special event.

My beautiful friend Sokli will be hosting the main part of our event, and Sokli is a fairy. How can she do this? I’ll be channelling her, so she can speak to you directly.

Sokli is going to speak about:

  • How to make friends with fairies
  • What fairies know about nature and the seasons and how this knowledge can help you
  • Important messages about the planet right now and why fairies need your help
  • Fun and interesting stuff that will help you to improve your wellbeing and health
  • How to create a crystal grid to energise food and turn it into healing medicine for your body or for a loved one or a pet

Together we’re also going to:

  1. Lead you on a Guided Meditation (you’ll receive access to a copy of the recording after the event so you can do the meditation whenever you want);
  2. do a little Winter Solstice colouring project;
  3. and make and activate a crystal grid (you’ll get to take this home with you too).

If you feel like making the occasion extra magical then dress up in your favourite Fairy Theme, or add a little Garden Magic to your outfit (think flowers, leaves, and all other lovely nature-themed goodness). There will be a prize for the Best Dressed, and some extra little surprises as well.

Of course, there will also be a goody bag for everyone because I never run an event without including a goody bag. All the best parties have them!

While you enjoy the party feel free to browse our Winter Solstice Pop Up Shop, which will have a delightful range of crystals and special spiritual and self-care items available. For purchases from the shop, we can take cash or card on the day!

Cost for this event is $104 all inclusive. This includes the workshop, a delicious High Tea (with lots of recipes from my blog!), a goody bag, crystal grid and access to a recording of the meditations after the event.

This is incredibly good value!!! Why are we running it so cheaply? Sokli just wants everyone to come together in friendship, to learn about fairies, to have fun, and to have a party in a safe and happy learning environment.

Tickets are the same price for adults and children because we are only covering costs for this event!

For Tickets to our event click: HERE

We are so excited for you to join us!

Wishing you a week filled with love, self-care and good boundaries. Above all, be kind to yourself and those around you. In these uncertain times, kindness matters more than ever.

Lots of love, Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, Unconditional Love, is from the Sacred Power Reading Cards by Anna Stark . I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

Crazy Dreams Right Now? Here’s Why!


“He leans in, resting his weathered hand on the bed. “Treat all the bad things like dreams, Kenzie. That way, no matter how scary or dark they get, you just have to survive until you wake up.” 
~ Victoria Schwab

Hi, Lovelies.

Have you been experiencing unusual bad dreams lately? Or do you find yourself suddenly thinking about the past or people from the past even though those memories aren’t great?

I was doing a Facebook Live with my community a few days ago, and the topic of bad dreams came up. So many people in our group are suddenly experiencing them, or flashbacks to the past or to old relationships, or sudden memories of old mistakes or old embarrassments that I thought it might be useful to share that same information with you too about why this is happening.

2019 saw the start of four years of levelling up vibrationally.

As we begin to grow and change it stirs the energy up around us. All of that stirring up of old energy can cause us to have these sudden flashbacks to the past, bad dreams or disturbing memories.

Please, don’t let it worry you. You’re not going mad. You’re simply processing and letting go. The nightmares and disturbing memories and flashbacks are merely old energies slipping by your conscious awareness on their way to being gone, just like an underwater diver leaves a trail of bubbles behind and then the bubbles fade and vanish.

As the month of May progresses this energy of change will ease off. There’s nothing for you to fix or do. Just try your best not to get caught up in things or to worry about what is happening. It will pass. It’s just the vapour trail of energy you’re leaving behind as you progress forwards toward better times, better relationships and greater wisdom.

Hang in there! And remember, it might be uncomfortable but it’s actually a good sign of progress. If it gets too much then try a couple of drops of Lavender Oil and Cedarwood oil in a diffuser in your bedroom at night, increase your intake of magnesium, remember to avoid stimulants and sugar, keep up your fluids and don’t stress. Be gentle with yourself and simply observe what is happening without judgement or self-criticism.

My Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle will help too. It helps you to connect with and explore Earth Energies, Ancestor Energies, your Solar Plexus energies and personal power, and Stardust Energies. There is over an hour’s worth of Guided Meditations and a 38-page workbook. The workbook holds specific instructions for using the four guided meditations, as well as journalling activities and reflection/awareness exercises.

The material in the Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle can be used at any time over the next four years, and beyond. My intention with this bundle is to help you become confident in your direction, your intuition, and your contribution to the unfolding history of the world and humanity. To access the bundle or to learn more about it go to my store or click on this link.

Don’t be afraid of change – embrace it! Much love, Nicole ❤ xx

The Joy Of Old Friends


“Make new friends, but don’t forget the old. One is silver, the other is gold. ” ~ Joyce Cody (My Nana, from my Autograph book, 1976)

I’ve had a dear friend staying at the farm these past days. She’s someone I’ve known since school. Someone who knew me before Ben, before my first serious boyfriends, before the openly psychic stuff, before illness, before so many of the big events of my life. When we met we were still children and we were both young, idealistic and clever. We made big plans for our lives and we expected that nothing would stop us. Any barriers? We’d just work through or bust through them. We were eighties women – it was what we did.

Who would have thought, all those years ago, as we stayed at each other’s houses and grew to know each other’s families, that one day we would still be friends and that the lives we thought we would have for ourselves would look so very different to how they have turned out?

Who would have expected there to be so much suffering between then and now? So much pain? So much strong outer appearance accompanied by inner upheaval and doubt? So much joy? So much unexpected wisdom and grace? So much music and books and laughter and travel? So much growth? So much love?

And seriously, who would EVER have thought that 1980s high-waisted jeans, undercuts, plaid and shoulder pads would be back in style?

When my Nana wrote that quote in my Autograph Book (remember those!) all those years ago I thought it was a bit dumb – as you would at age nine. But at fifty I finally get it. Nana was right after all. New friends are silver, old friends are gold.

To share memories, common history and a deeper sense of knowing about each other is a rare, powerful and special gift. But don’t worry if you don’t have someone like that in your life right now. True friends may not always walk in step with you. Your life paths may draw you away from each other and then back together again over the course of your life.

The rest of 2019 is wonderful for all kinds of reconnection, so if you’ve been thinking about someone from your past, or a loved one with whom you lost touch don’t be afraid to instigate contact. At worst nothing will happen, or you’ll find you grew apart. That’s okay. You will have lost nothing by trying. But somewhere you may find gold, and that gold will be precious and wonderful for you both.

Hugs and love, Nicole ❤ xx

The ANZAC Spirit Lives On

“ Even if this spring the dappled leaves should shelter our minds from the moon’s pale echo we would still remember how once they were sheltered by our skulls only from the day’s sun and the night’s stars and never from what we feared and what we remembered ” ~ Dan Davin

I live in the picturesque Byron Shire – a million miles away from battlefields and war zones.  Ours is the place where people come to enjoy some rest, sunshine, catch a few waves and enjoy a couple of beers as the sun goes down.

On a morning like many others I woke early and headed into Byron Bay for a swim and a good coffee.  I parked my car, and began walking up the street towards the beach.  The town was mostly still asleep, and all you could hear was the distant rolling surf and the morning chorus of birdsong.

Behind me some sleepy-eyed young men tumbled out of a local motel, clad in boardshorts and singlets, towels flung over their shoulders.

Suddenly there was a loud bang.  I jumped, startled, and glanced around to see where the noise had come from.  Bang!  It sounded like a small explosion.  The noise shattered the stillness of the morning, and the bangs kept coming.

Inexplicably I found myself shielded by three young men, pressed into the safety of a doorway.  The tension was palpable, and then it dissolved as an old Kombi lurched past us, still backfiring.

Image from www.herlibraryadventures.blogspot.com.au

We all laughed.  I laughed heartily, feeling silly to have been frightened by something so ordinary.  The young men laughed uncomfortably, and then began apologising profusely for having shoved me off the street.

“It’s okay, you probably haven’t had your coffee yet,” I said, trying to make them feel better.

“Actually, it’s the first day of our holiday,” explained one.  “Can you tell us where to get a good brew?”

I did one better, and shouted them a coffee at my favourite local cafe.  Turns out the young men were three of our soldiers, just back from a tour of Afghanistan.  They apologised again and again for being jumpy, but I was just grateful that their first instinct had been to take care of me, before they even knew what the threat was.

Soldiers from the Mentoring Task Force take a break in the Charmestan Valley, Uruzgan Province, Afghanistan. Picture: Images Defence Source: AdelaideNow

It was enlightening to talk with them.  They were so proud of the efforts of Australia’s military, and had obvious love of their work.  We talked about their overseas tours, and their work closer to home, helping out after cyclones and floods.  They talked about the morale of our troops, and the excitement and emotional uplift when care packages arrived in the mail.  Of what it meant to receive letters from school children, and ANZAC biscuits and Vegemite from people they’d never met, but who were thinking of them, so far from home.

They talked of comrades injured, or killed.  And the strong bonds of friendship.

By the time they’d finished their coffees they were relaxed again.  Three mates heading off up the street to go for a body surf, to lie in the sun, and then to go in search of breakfast.

Today, ANZAC Day, I’m thinking of those three young men; their courage and their values.  The ANZAC Spirit is alive and well, and I’m so very proud and grateful.

Lest We Forget.

Remembered … The coffins of Australian soldiers Benjamin Chuck, Timothy Aplin and Scott Palmer during their memorial service in Tarin Kowt, Afghanistan. Picture: Corporal Raymond Vance, Department of Defence

How to Self-Care When Life Is Challenging!

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

“Self-care is how you take your power back.” ~ Lalah Delia

It’s simple enough to be well-intentioned and kind to yourself when life is going smoothly. Or if you are on holidays. Or in a really good head space.

But when we are hard up against it – when we have crushing deadlines, or horrible dramas, or the people around us are treating us badly, when we’re ill, depressed or in pain – that’s the time where we most need good self-care, and it is usually the time where we are least inclined to give it to ourselves.

After years of illness, and in my line of work (as a psychic and a support for many people going through their own hardships) where there is no ‘off-switch’, I’ve learned the hard way that self-care is essential. Always. Fortunately I’ve also discovered that it isn’t such a difficult ask of ourselves, and that a little self-awareness and kindness towards ourselves goes a long way towards keeping us resilient and coping in the most troubled of times.

Here are my top ten tips for getting yourself through whatever you might be facing right now:

1.Drink enough water. When we are well hydrated our body is less acidic, we can flush toxins and stress hormones from our system better, we sleep more deeply and our brains work more clearly.

Image by Pezibear from Pixabay

2. Have a shower, wash your hair and put on some clean clothes. For an additional touch of self-love use a perfume, scented moisturiser, aftershave or essential oil whose fragrance lifts your spirits or reminds you of someone you love. If washing your hair is just too hard, pull it back neatly, plait it, or tuck it under a scarf or cap. When I was at my most ill, I’d make myself bathe and put clean pyjamas on. It helped. A lot. And it was always worth the effort, even when I was exhausted. Clean sheets can do wonders for the soul too!

Photo by Abigail Lynn on Unsplash

3. Find five minutes for meditation. Meditation calms and centres us, and helps us find our way back to ourselves, our soul and to Spirit. Try any of these simple techniques:


Easy Five Minute Meditation


Taking Energy From Trees


Eating The Sun

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

4. Dance. To one uplifting song. Sing along, and let your body move to the beat. Dance in your lounge room. Dance in the car. Of if you’re confined to bed, sway, tap your hands, draw that music deep into your body and belt out the lyrics.

Photo by Taylor Ann Wright on Unsplash

5. Have a plan, and then work the plan. Choose a time when you can sit down for ten minutes with a cup of tea or a cold drink and your diary. Think of something you want to get done and then break it down into steps and assign those steps to the coming days, weeks or months. Allow more time than you need – because in troubled times we need to allow ourselves extra flexibility. No need to give yourself more pressure when you’re already under the pump. Plans enacted help us to take control back in our lives, and give us something to work towards. It’s okay if your plan is for completing something small. Every time we act instead of procrastinate something strengthens within us.

6. Go for a walk in nature. Can’t walk? Then try to simply earth yourself instead. If you’re confined to bed or unable to get outside sit by an open window or door. Use your eyes and ears. Use your skin. Let your mind wander outside even if your body can’t.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

7. Eat something healthy that will nurture and strengthen your body. Choose foods that you know support you. Food gives us energy and helps our bodies work better. Eating irregular meals and junk food slows us down and makes us feel worse instead of better. Sometimes poor food choices are all we will have. Don’t beat yourself up and don’t sit in guilt. Eating is better than not eating. Decide to make a better choice or plan to bring healthy food tomorrow.

Image by Deborah Breen Whiting from Pixabay

8.Hugs and the company of friends can be healing. In hard times we often feel that the only way to cope is to withdraw. But in that space of social isolation life becomes even more difficult. While it is important to take time to be on your own, you need emotional support too. You can get this from online groups, phone calls, coffee or meal dates, craft dates, pets, good friends and supportive family. Reaching out to others can make a world of difference when life is filled with difficulty.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

9. Learn something new, or escape for a time into another world. A book, a movie, a newspaper, a short course. A trip to a new part of town. Stay curious. When we’re in something for the long haul we create emotional space and better coping capacity for ourselves by having something new or interesting to think about that takes us away from our troubles.

Photo by Lê Tân on Unsplash

10. Get enough sleep. Sleep is a healing balm that restores the best parts of us. Shut yourself away for an early night, or spend the weekend in bed catching up on your rest. An epsom salts bath, some lavender essential oil or a relaxing herbal tea at night will all help get you into that restful space.

Image from veryfunnypics.com


Find Your Voice! Monday Oracle 15 April 2019

“The things I carry are my thoughts. That’s it. They are the only weight. My thoughts determine whether I am free and light or burdened.”   ~ Kamal Ravikant

Hello, Lovelies!

April calls you to live from your heartspace. This month lifts you above your obstacles or helps you to blaze a trail through them. Expect magical insights and guidance to help light the path ahead. It’s time to believe in yourself and your dreams even if no-one else yet believes. Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of inspiration which the card Sound brings us.

This week Sound calls us to stand strong in honouring our own truth and honouring our own voice. There are so many ways that we quieten that voice and so many ways we diminish our truth. Not all of that is deliberate. As a society, we are taught to be polite, to get along, to put the needs and happiness of others before our own. (You can read more about this here). But our voice matters too. Speaking and living from our heart space and living our truth helps bring us into alignment with situations, opportunities and relationships that are more suited to our ethics, values, beliefs and talents.

Of course, I urge you to be sensible. Sometimes that truth doesn’t need to be spoken aloud, because doing so might put you in a difficult or dangerous position. But even acknowledging that truth to yourself can help you to choose a different course of action, to leave a job or relationship that no longer works for you, and to begin thinking about options that will suit you better than your current situation.

Sound is also about leadership. It is about being in that place where we can lead family or friends or business or a community by being ourselves and singing our own song in a way that attracts everyone else to us.

When we speak our truth, when we’re speaking our message we attract the people who need that message or who are aligned with whatever it is we are sharing.

If you’ve got a dream, a vision for a business, or something you’d like to offer in the world Sound encourages you to work towards making that a reality this week. Trust that someone will want what you have to offer. Be a contributor – add your voice and energy and know you were given these ideas or gifts for a reason.

Most of all, seek out what makes you happy and reach for what gives you joy. Life is too short to be miserable, stuck and unable to express your true feelings and innermost self.

Supportive crystals this week?

Malachite is a stone to help you overcome perceived limitations. It is a stone of manifestation and abundance that gifts focus and resilience. Amethyst helps us to tune in to all forms of spiritual guidance and to make wise decisions. Blue Kyanite (pictured) will enhance your communication skills, helping you to find the right words and best timing for your message – and helping you avoid self-destructive tendencies. Blue Lace Agate supports your Throat Chakra, helping you to find your voice and speak your truth. It’s a great stone for all forms of communication, and it also brings a sense of calm. 

Helpful essential oils?

Helpful essential oils?

Combine Frankincense, Lemon and Peppermint Essential Oils for an energising and focusing diffuser blend this week. A ratio of 2 drops of Frankincense, and 3 drops each of Lemon and Peppermint is delicious!

Frankincense helps you to be grounded and connected at the same time, and reduces stress and inflammation within the body. Lemon is uplifting and helps bring focus and clarity, and Peppermint refreshes the mind and spirit.

Need an oil to enhance your creativity, and to help you move out of overwhelm or anxiety? Use Neroli by diluting and applying to your pulse points as a perfume or add it to your diffuser alone or with a couple of drops of Frankincense to bring back a sense of being grounded and connected.

I’m passionate about essential oils and their capacity to support our wellness journey and our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. If you’d like to know more or want to source the oils I recommend and trust visit this site or contact me at channelnc@gmail.com

Guided Meditation Bundle

I’ve bundled together four powerful guided downloadable meditations and created a companion workbook to support you in your spiritual journey. The Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle will help you to connect with and explore Earth Energies, Ancestor Energies, your Solar Plexus energies and personal power, and the Stardust Energies. There is over an hour’s worth of Guided Meditations and a 38-page workbook. The workbook holds specific instructions for using the four guided meditations, as well as journalling activities and reflection/awareness exercises.

The material in the Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle can be used at any time over the next four years, and beyond. My intention with this bundle is to help you become confident in your direction, your intuition, and your contribution to the unfolding history of the world and humanity. To access the bundle or to learn more about it go to my store or click on this link.

Wishing you a week of clarity, insight and understanding. Be determined to find your joy! Aim high, give life your best shot, and no matter what you do, be true to YOU.

Lots of love, Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, Sound’ , is from the Sacred Power Reading Cards by Anna Stark . I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book.