Bountiful Blessings and Celebration – Monday Oracle 17 June 2019

“Be the celebrators, celebrate! Already there is too much—the flowers have bloomed, the birds are singing, the sun is there in the sky—celebrate it! You are breathing and you are alive and you have consciousness, celebrate it!”  ~ Osho

Hello, Lovelies!

June brings energies of growth and transformation. This month you can build on existing situations, foundations and opportunities, further transforming your life through work and self-belief. (And stay tuned, because I have a gorgeous new online course launching tomorrow which will help you capitalise on all of this good energy!) This month you’ll start to see results, and your progress will become visible to others too. Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of inspiration which the card Rainbow Dragon brings us.

This is another really beautiful week of spiritual connection. But it’s not that raw intuitive place we were in last week, where you may have felt like all of your senses were in overload. This week’s energies are gentle – and focus on supporting you to be both perceptive and grateful.

You’ll be open and heart-centred and able to truly feel what’s going on from a space of empathy and kindness. It’s a great week for gratitude, for counting your blessings, for celebration. It is absolutely a week for sharing your love and appreciation and affection with the people around you and celebrating all of those things that are good in your life. 

It’s also a week of feeling kinder and more generous toward yourself, and toward those you love.

If your relationship with yourself has been less than stellar you’ll find yourself softening this week, so that you can embrace yourself, forgive yourself, laugh at yourself (kindly of course), accept yourself and love yourself more easily. You’ll also feel more inclined to try things without being so darned judgemental and critical of yourself.

If your relationship with a friend or loved one has been less than great you’ll find that you are able to mend bridges, to let go of hurt, to move on, to try again. It’s a wonderful time for reminiscing and discussing memories of experiences you’ve shared. It’s also a time of creating a new way forward that can work better for both of you so that you can leave the pain and hurt of the past in the past.

Celebrate a little or a lot this week. Because what’s life without celebration?

Supportive crystals this week?

Map Jasper helps you to concentrate, analyse and understand. It supports the adrenals and counteracts overthinking and intellectual exhaustion. (Can’t find Map Jasper? Use a combination of your favourite Jasper with Black Tourmaline.) Peach Moonstone encourages self-care, soothes worry, raises vibration and stimulates your capacity to problem solve using both intuition and reason. White Howlite will promote calm, tranquillity, self-acceptance and a feeling of emotional spaciousness. Amber (pictured) supports you to find and live from a place of creativity and joy, opening you to possibility while helping you to stay grounded.

amber

Helpful essential oils?

Essential oils that support love, creativity and connection are what you need this week. Try any of these on their own, or choose a few from the list to add to your diffuser – they all work well together:

  • Rose
  • Green Mandarin
  • Neroli
  • Ylang Ylang
  • Lavender
  • Sandalwood
  • Lemon

I’m passionate about essential oils and their capacity to support our wellness journey and our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. If you’d like to know more or want to source the oils I recommend and trust visit this site or contact me at channelnc@gmail.com

Support for your Intuitive Journey

I’ve got something exciting for you tomorrow – but I’m going to wait til then to tell you what it is!

Have fun this week. Live from your heart, stay kind and celebrate the small and the big things of your life. Above all, cultivate gratitude and mindfulness. Let your heart guide you and you can’t go wrong!

Lots of love, Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Rainbow Dragon’, is from the Sacred Power Reading Cards by Anna Stark. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different from the meaning found in a book. 

An Apology Thirty Years In The Making

“If someone puts their hands on you make sure they never put their hands on anybody else again.” 
~ Malcom X

I was sitting in a suburban shopping centre cafe with my husband Ben a few days ago. As I sipped my tea a man came into view who looked familiar. He was older than when I’d last seen him. Thirty years older. But I was sure it was him. He was wearing a suit, his hair was grey and thinning and he’d gotten fat. But it was him. Let’s call him James (which is not his name).

In that moment I became so angry that I wanted to race over and punch him. Which is not like me. At all.

I didn’t do anything though. I watched him walk away.

Later that night I googled him and then found him on Facebook. He’s successful in his field. Married now. With two daughters. One in her final year of school and one at University. That made up my mind. I sent him a friend request and he accepted straight away. Then he sent me a message. I still looked hot, he said. Did I want to meet up for a coffee?

We ended up video messaging. At first we chatted about our College days, which is where we’d met. He asked if I was single. I told him I wasn’t. He told me he wasn’t either but that didn’t mean we couldn’t have some fun.

Sigh.

I asked him if he remembered the time we’d gone to a College football match on the first day of a long weekend of sport, races and balls. I’d just started going out with him, and this was our first proper date. I was in my first year of College and he was in his last – a big man on Campus whom everyone knew.

He drove me to a sports field on a sunny afternoon. We’d just parked and were getting out of the car when a friend of mine walked past wearing a huge scarf around her neck even though it was hot. James laughed and grabbed the scarf off her. Underneath was a series of small purple bruises. Perhaps you know them as hickeys. Or as love bites. She was embarrassed and tried to get the scarf back from him, but James kept holding it away from her while he kept up a barrage of teasing and increasingly lewd sexual comments. A crowd gathered around us.

Finally, I tugged the scarf away and gave it back to her and she fled, in tears. ‘Why were you so mean to her?’ I asked James. ‘What has she ever done to you?’ The crowd was still watching.

‘She’s a slut,’ he said. ‘She deserved it.’

While I was processing that comment he asked if I’d ever had a hickey.

‘No’, I said.

Before I could do anything he slammed me down over the car bonnet, pinned me with his leg and hands, and attacked my neck with his mouth. It hurt. A lot. My adrenalin went into overdrive. I yelled at him to stop and fought to get him off me. But I was slight and he was huge. My hands were pinned, my legs were pinned. No matter how much I bucked or writhed it was like a butterfly flapping against a bull. The more I struggled the more he bit and sucked on my neck while the crowd of mostly young men cheered. No matter what I did I wasn’t strong enough to make him stop. I was powerless. When James finally stood up he was victorious. He dragged me to the car’s side mirror and showed me. I had a violent purple and red bruise on my neck the size of a small orange. It throbbed and my whole body ached. I was dishevelled and humiliated. The crowd dispersed and then we were alone.

‘Wear it proudly,’ he said. And then he took my hand and started walking to the game with me in tow. I was in shock. Tears ran down my face but I picked up my handbag and stumbled along beside him.

As we neared the entrance gate we stopped and he wiped my face with his handkerchief. ‘Why are you crying?’ James said. ‘It was just a bit of fun. It’s a hickey. No big deal.’ He bought us both an entrance ticket and then left me with some of his friends while he fetched us drinks.

I was shaking, and I didn’t know what to do. So I stayed. Later a girlfriend found me and gave me a lift back to the dorms. I had bruises on my hips and my arms, one on my thighs and that huge shameful one on my neck. When James came around a few days later I told him I had zero interest in being in his company again. When I asked him why he’d done it he told me I was an uptight bitch, and that I couldn’t take a joke. He couldn’t work out why I was so upset. I was overreacting, he said. Crazy. A nut job. As he walked away he called back over his shoulder that I was a slut.

I struggled to reconcile that I had ever found him attractive.

I bruise easily, and that hickey took months to fade. I did what I could to cover it up with scarves or makeup, but I was called names by other students and even some of my male lecturers drew attention to my neck, making jokes about it. And about me.

I’d never felt so belittled, humiliated or ashamed. Worse, on that sunny afternoon, I’d felt what it was to be truly powerless for the first time in my life. I’d had no capacity to affect an outcome, no voice, no ability to have a choice. When James had held me down I’d felt unsafe, I’d been hurt, he wouldn’t listen and I couldn’t make it stop. He could have done anything to me, and it was all beyond my control.

So I told James that, thirty years later.

‘Is that why you dumped me?’ he said. ‘Over a joke? It’s not like I raped you!’ He had raised his voice, angry. ‘And you reconnecting with me now – is this your pathetic Hashtag MeToo moment?’

‘I’m still angry,’ I said. ‘I hadn’t thought about this for thirty years, but yes, I’m still angry, because what you did wasn’t right. It was assault.’

‘Get over yourself!’ James said. ‘Geez, I thought you connected because you wanted to hook up.’

‘No. I reconnected because you have a daughter who is the same age as I was when you did that to me. How would you feel if someone did that to her? How would you feel if she was pinned and helpless, struggling against a bigger man, being humiliated while other people stood around and watched?’

‘I’d bloody kill them!’ he said. And then he looked at me, and a strange expression came over his face. ‘I’d kill any bastard who tried to hurt my girls.’

‘I was the same age as your daughter,’ I said. ‘I asked you to stop. You didn’t. It wasn’t right then. It isn’t right now.’

After which we sat in silence, looking at each other via our screens.

‘Sorry, Nic,’ he said eventually, his voice quieter. ‘It was the era. It was just a bit of fun. I might have gone a bit too far. I didn’t mean anything by it.’

There was nothing else to say.

We ended the chat. I unfriended him.

It was an incident I’d long forgotten. A conversation I never expected to have. An apology thirty years in the making. But I’m glad I got to reconnect with James again and finally have him see things from a different perspective. My perspective. It felt good to finally be heard.

Much love, Nicole xx

Insight and Intuition – Monday Oracle 3 June 2019

“Intuition is seeing with the soul.” 
~ Dean Koontz

Hello, Lovelies!

June brings energies of growth and transformation. This month you can build on existing situations, foundations and opportunities, further transforming your life through work and self-belief. You’ll start to see results, and your progress will become visible to others too. Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of inspiration which the card Intuition brings us.

This is a huge week for psychic and spiritual insight. You’ll find yourself connected in flow. Ideas, realisations, understanding and direction will come easily this week. You’ll be able to access this relaxed state of knowing and flow by moving out of stress. Exercise and meditation is great for that, but so is taking a long soak in the tub, knitting or chopping vegetables for dinner. Inspiration may come in a daydream, a sudden flash of ‘knowing’, in a dream or as a thought or awareness that slowly rises to the top of your conscious mind. Journalling and using your oracle or tarot cards is another useful way to access this flow of information.

Inspiration heralds synchronicities, opportunities coming your way, and things unlocking so that progress can finally be made. It’s a week of positive energy and things going right for you.

This week is quite intense energy which will be problematic for some people because spiritually it means everyone will be a little more sensitive and little more perceptive than usual. That’s not a bad thing, it is simply something that needs to be managed if you know you are one of those more sensitive souls. 

Supportive crystals this week?

Map Jasper helps you to concentrate, analyse and understand. It supports the adrenals and counteracts overthinking and intellectual exhaustion. (Can’t find Map Jasper? Use a combination of your favourite Jasper with Black Tourmaline.) Peach Moonstone (pictured) encourages self-care, soothes worry, raises vibration and stimulates your capacity to problem solve using both intuition and reason. Fire Agate gifts you courage to follow your spiritual path, and inspires you to grow beyond your current limits. It’s a stone to kindle your creative flame. Clear Quartz amplifies intuition and our ability to tune in to Universal and Personal Wisdom. Use it to get clear about what matters in your life! 

Helpful essential oils?

I’m loving Frankincense and Neroli this week. Use Frankincense for focus, inspiration and breakthroughs. Dab a drop on your Crown Chakra and the soles of your feet, inhale directly or add to your diffuser. It will also help keep you grounded, even as you stay connected.

Use Neroli to help you move back to a place of contentment, confidence and happiness. It’s great to inhale directly, diffuse or add a drop to Heart Chakra, throat and inner wrists like perfume. A few drops added to your bath make for magical self-care. Don’t have Neroli? Try Wild Orange or Bergamot instead.

I’m passionate about essential oils and their capacity to support our wellness journey and our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. If you’d like to know more or want to source the oils I recommend and trust visit this site or contact me at channelnc@gmail.com

Wishing you a transformative and uplifting week of insights, awareness and increased intuition.

Lots of love, Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, Intuition is from the Sacred Power Reading Cards by Anna Stark. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

Energies of June 2019

“An awake heart is like a sky that pours light.” 
~ Hafiz

Hello, Lovelies!

At the beginning of every month, I discuss the energies and gifts of the month ahead and how we can best use them to make our lives satisfying, meaningful and productive. I also choose a card to support the energies of the month. The deck I am using this year is The Good Tarot by Colette Baron-Reid, and June’s card is 8 of Fire.

June brings energies of growth and transformation. 

This month you can build on existing situations, foundations and opportunities, further transforming your life through work and self-belief. You’ll start to see results, and your progress will become visible to others too.

The power of teamwork and of focus can’t be overestimated this month. There are so many choices in front of you now, and you may feel like there are too many choices and that everything is moving past you too fast. 

If you feel like that, look for some quiet time amid the bustle and haste. Use nature and meditation to bring you back to calm. Choose just a few things on which to focus. 

Let the rest go for now, or delegate it to someone else. And get a team together – people who can help and support you. You’ll go so much further together than trying to get it all done on your own.

June puts an emphasis on your health, healing and wellbeing. Don’t let your health slide at the expense of your dreams and goals. Look at ways to work sustainably and get help wherever you can.

Make sure to get a health check, and to keep on top of all of the habits and choices that let you live your best life.

Leave a little time for celebration this month too. Don’t let everything be everyday ordinary. 

You don’t need a reason to celebrate – being alive is enough! 

Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. 

Do things that make you feel alive. Celebrate others too. Share the joy around.

Fill your life with colour, love and passion. Trust in the journey and believe in good outcomes.

Best crystals this month?

Map Jasper and Peach Moonstone

Map Jasper

Map Jasper helps you to concentrate, analyse and understand. It supports the adrenals and counteracts overthinking and intellectual exhaustion. 

Peach Moonstone

Peach Moonstone encourages self-care, soothes worry, raises vibration and stimulates your capacity to problem solve using both intuition and reason.

Essential oils to support your journey?

My choice for oils that will support focus, clarity, planning and action this month are Peppermint, Rosemary and Lemon. Choose one or all of them for your diffuser – they work beautifully together.

For relaxing, enjoying lift and lifting your mood try any of these oils on their own or in combination – Wild OrangeLavenderGeraniumFrankincense and Cinnamon Bark.

I’m passionate about essential oils and their capacity to support our wellness journey and our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. If you’d like to know more or want to source the oils I recommend and trust visit this site or contact me at channelnc@gmail.com

Want to get even deeper on your spiritual journey and psychic awakening?

Think about taking the last remaining place on my upcoming Temple of Light Shamanic Meditation RetreatMore details on that here.

Wishing you a satisfying journey this month. Make the most of it – these energies are life-changing and life enhancing.

Lots of love, Nicole xoxo

Would You Like Me To Include You In My Meditations?

https://cauldronsandcupcakes.com

“Through my love for you, I want to express my love for the whole cosmos, the whole of humanity, and all beings. By living with you, I want to learn to love everyone and all species. If I succeed in loving you, I will be able to love everyone and all species on Earth… This is the real message of love.” 
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Meditation is the cornerstone of my life. It is the first thing I do when I wake up each morning. It is the last thing I do before I go to bed.

I don’t just meditate to find stillness and peace. I also use meditation for shamanic and mystical work. I use it to connect with and help my students, I use it to access healing, and to share and support energies.

This week I’m working on some very specific areas for emotional and spiritual healing that may also have an impact on physical well-being too.

For the next few days I am focusing on supporting you to move through and begin to resolve feelings of loss, fear, anxiety, overwhelm, emotional isolation and powerlessness. My aim is to find the places where emotion has become stuck inside you, causing you to become out of alignment. I am also looking for the old stories, traumas and memories which are subconsciously shaping you in opposition to your soul’s true nature. In my meditations I will dissolve these outmoded energies and stories, returning them to love and releasing their patterns from your energetic field.

As your energy comes back into alignment with your true nature, your vibration will rise and you will be more easily able to express yourself creatively and emotionally. It will increase your sense of self-awareness and self-trust.

I meditate twice a day, morning and evening. I also connect with some people during my night-flying practices. If you’d like me to include you or a loved one specifically in my meditations just let me know in the comments below.  And, of course, I love getting feedback about anything you notice as a result of my meditations.

Much love, Nicole xx

How Controversial Should I Be?

“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.” 
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

I was working with a client a few days ago, and the topic rolled around to suicide.

She had been suicidal once, at a truly difficult time in her life. With therapy and support her life has now moved beyond the worst of the pain and back to a place of balance. But there is no-one to talk with about what happened, she said, now that she no longer pays a therapist to listen. And she worries people will think she is still in that space if she tries to talk about it with friends or family.

‘I understand,’ I said to her.

‘How could you?’ she answered crossly. ‘Only people who’ve been there understand. I mean REALLY understand.’

‘I can feel into your body, and step inside you where you met that pain head-on. So yes, I can understand it from inside you – as a psychic,’ I said, ‘but I also understand. Me. I understand.’ I said those last words more slowly this time, weighting each one.

‘No way,’ she said. ‘You? I don’t believe it.’ She looked genuinely shocked.

‘It’s true.’ I looked her in the eye. ‘I have stood in that place twice, and both times it was unexpected. Each place was a different planet I hope never to go back to. Both times I found a solution that ultimately kept me here. And you’re right. No-one ever talks about this stuff.’

We were out of time, and this was about me now, not about her.

‘Maybe you could blog about it,’ she said to me as we finished up. ‘I would have found that useful, to have known someone like you could have had feelings like me. I mean, I was so f*cked up and broken and ashamed…’ She paused. ‘To have read that, to read that now, would still be helpful. So, could you?’

What do you think, dear Tribe? I’ve written about being psychic and being incontinent and all other manner of personal over-sharing. Should I break this taboo too?

I’ll be guided by you.

Much love, Nicole xx

Rest And Find Your Center – Monday Oracle 27 May 2019

“Activity and rest are two vital aspects of life. To find a balance in them is a skill in itself. Wisdom is knowing when to have rest, when to have activity, and how much of each to have. Finding them in each other – activity in rest and rest in activity – is the ultimate freedom.” 
~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Hello, Lovelies!

Here we are in the final days of May. May has been such a breakthrough month – it’s been a time for positive progress, big leaps forward and fine-tuning of your self-awareness. Lots of lightbulb moments, dramatic shifts and realisations and the odd bit of pattern breaking. So I know you’ll appreciate the energies and gifts of inspiration which the card Rest brings us this week.

Rest is about you recognising it is important to find that balance between sustainability and momentum. Nothing can burn bright endlessly. Everything needs replenishment. So what nourishes and replenishes you?

It’s easy to think of food and exercise as nourishment. They are, but we are also soulful creatures with hungry minds and searching souls. Our souls have their own appetites. Maybe you need to go watch a football game and revel in being part of the larger crowd. Perhaps live music will fill you up, or a wine and cheese tasting at your local cellars. An early-morning surf could be your thing, or a picnic with family or friends, or an intimate date with your beloved. How long has it been since you read a book, listened to the birds in the backyard, visited a new restaurant or attended a workshop about something that interests you?

Rest is also about trying to work out how to incorporate rest into your every day, rest into your week or your weekend or your month. It’s about you thinking about longer holidays. Can you find a work/life rhythm that works for you? Can you start work earlier and finish earlier, or give yourself a later start one day a week? Can you clear one day on your weekend to simply relax and have time for yourself? Can you put the kids in care one afternoon a week to create a window of time just for you?

The messages and wisdom of Rest help you to become mindful about creating sustainability in your life so that you don’t burn out.

Supportive crystals this week?

Pyrite provides passion, power and protection. It builds determination and self-belief.  Dalmatian Jasper helps you move forward, living in mindfulness. It releases stress and amplifies joy. Rose Quartz (pictured) is a stone of love and nurture – it helps you to be open to the giving and receiving of love. Yellow Obsidian is a gently shielding stone that helps you to think clearly and to break patterns of self-criticism and negative thinking. It aids in looking for positive solutions to life’s dilemmas and for embracing change.

Image from www.chrysalisheart.com.au

Helpful essential oils?

This week look to create a nurturing blend from any or all of the following oils:
Lavender keeps us in flow and relaxed, Neroli invites optimism and a sense of safety, Frankincense elevates our mood and promotes spiritual connection and intuition while keeping us grounded and Ylang Ylang opens our hearts and is supportive when we feel anxious or exhausted. To diffuse add 2 or three drops of each oil to your diffuser.

I’m passionate about essential oils and their capacity to support our wellness journey and our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. If you’d like to know more or want to source the oils I recommend and trust visit this site or contact me at channelnc@gmail.com

Guided Meditation Bundle

Looking for energetic and soul replenishment?

I’ve bundled together four powerful guided downloadable meditations and created a companion workbook to support you in your spiritual journey. The Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle will help you to connect with and explore Earth Energies, Ancestor Energies, your Solar Plexus energies and personal power, and the Stardust Energies. There is over an hour’s worth of Guided Meditations and a 38-page workbook. The workbook holds specific instructions for using the four guided meditations, as well as journalling activities and reflection/awareness exercises.

The material in the Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle can be used at any time over the next four years, and beyond. My intention with this bundle is to help you become confident in your direction, your intuition, and your contribution to the unfolding history of the world and humanity. To access the bundle or to learn more about it go to my store or click on this link.

BE gentle with yourself this week. DO your best to tune in and care for yourself, and remember that REST is always worthwhile.

Lots of love, Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, Rest, is from the Sacred Power Reading Cards by Anna Stark . I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

Rest

Shiny Unicorn Attack (Cos It Had To Happen…)

“Never laugh at live dragons.” ~ J R R Tolkien

So, I’m standing in a health food store yesterday, waiting while someone finds a product I’d ordered.

I’m miserable. My eyes are streaming and one is gummed closed. My face is blotchy and puffy. I have a UTI and a chest infection and I am herxing badly from Lyme die-off. I’m wearing an adult diaper under my jeans. I am wheezing and coughing. I’m in pain. I look like death. I feel like death. I’m sleep deprived. It’s not my best day. (see yesterday’s blog for the full update)

I’m so uncomfortable. To distract myself while they find my stuff I go for a wander through the aisles. I could use some new lip balm. A sales assistant sidles up beside me and asks me how I am. ‘Awesome,’ I respond.

She looks at me and I smile.

‘Ok,’ I add. ‘Not awesome, but I’m doing okay. Thanks for asking.’

And then she does it. She hits me with the big New Age Shiny Unicorn.

‘Your problem? It’s a mental thing,’ she says. ‘You created it and you’re in charge. Just use some positive affirmations and you can turn it all around. You’ll be feeling better in no time.’ She attempts to lead me towards a helpful display of positive thinking books and Louise Hay affirmation cards.

I had to seriously reign in my violent thoughts.

‘Actually,’ I say, ‘it’s not a mental thing. I’m in pain. A lot of pain. I’m quite unwell. I’m happy, and I have a great life and a lot of gratitude and a good attitude, but I also have pain. No amount of positive affirmations are going to fix that right now.’

She tries again, beaming at me. ‘Oh, come on. You won’t know if you don’t try! You’re a master manifestor who is just doing it wrong. What else is possible? How could you create a happier day?’

I’m sure I’ve wet my pants. I think I can feel urine trickling into my shoe. My skin feels like insects are biting me. I excuse myself and go back to the front counter.

After I’ve paid for my supplements I have a quiet word with the manager about her overly-cheerful staff member and explain the conversation I’ve just endured. The manager has the good grace to look horrified and we agree that some staff training might be appropriate.

Rant over. If you don’t know what the problem is here then refer to this blog post.

Hugs and love, cranky Nicole who is actually still mostly happy and with a good attitude xx

Gumboot Adventure and a Lyme Update


“One final paragraph of advice: do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am – a reluctant enthusiast….a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it’s still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a while and contemplate the precious stillness, the lovely, mysterious, and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this much; I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk-bound men and women with their hearts in a safe deposit box, and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this; You will outlive the bastards.” 
~ Edward Abbey

*Note: I recommend reading all the way to the end of this post. Past the pictures even. Oh yes, I do.

People are always asking how I am and I almost always say ‘fine, thanks’.

Truth is, I have advanced late-stage Lyme disease, and as with any chronic degenerative illness I have a catalogue of woes so to actually tell you how I am might take hours. Boring. I’m over it long ago. So ‘fine’ or ‘okay’ mostly does the job. I manage. Many days are great, and I am working, living and making the most of what I can. Happy, happy. I don’t dwell on my health or lack thereof.

Mostly.

I’ll level with you, though. The last few days have been rough.

I’m miserable right now.

I picked up a cough while visiting Ben’s mum in the nursing home. After four weeks it has steadily become worse and I can’t shake it. Because of that, my UTI flared up. I’ve been peeing five times a night and my bladder is agonisingly sore. I have been feeling myself slowing getting more run down no matter how good my self-care and health care has been.

So I started on new Chinese herbs two days ago for my latest infections. Great news – they’re working! Less great news? They are also killing Lyme Bugs so I am herxing like crazy as the Lyme dies and releases toxins into my already overloaded body. My eyes are red and streaming and only one is working, only one side of my face is mobile and responsive, my skin is on fire, I’m photophobic, I have stabby pains and night sweats and swollen glands and bone aches and head aches and nerve spasms and tender teeth and numb fingers and toes and neurological incontinence (I wee my pants for no reason!) and generally more misery than I remembered was possible. Yay? But fighting bugs, so yay!!!!! Now we’re working on getting the dosage correct so that I can manage the chest and UTI infections without going mad from herxing. Please don’t worry. I’m in good hands. (And yes, I have cried, screamed and whimpered often this past few days because I’d forgotten how truly awful herxing can be.)

I’m smiling here, honest! It’s just that only one side of my mouth lifts up right now…

In the midst of all of this misery I needed to go open a gate at the farm for Ben. I got out of bed, left my pyjama top on, threw on some shorts and my gumboots and slogged down to the Tractor Shed paddock.

Oh. It was so beautiful there in the misty cold afternoon. The ground was soft and green and lush. The trees shone with a vibrant light, and the birds sang. It felt good to be out of bed and outdoors.

When my short adventure was over I hastened back to a hot shower, fresh pyjamas and more rest.

It was worth it to have that little gumboot adventure.

I’m wishing you little adventures too. No matter how shitty life gets, a little tiny adventure, a small moment fully lived, a simple pleasure fully and mindfully experienced – that’s what makes it all more manageable. I rate my coping skills as high. And that’s one of the reasons why!

Biggest love and hugs from this tired and battered Lyme Warrior. I’ll be back at my best soon, I’m sure. Meanwhile, I’m happy to be herxy. (Well, mostly! xx)

PSS – Thanks if you scrolled down this far. Just a reminder that I am massively sleep deprived and in pain right now. So if you:

  1. suggest that positive thinking might be beneficial or a cure-all,
  2. offer to hook me up with your miracle-inducing network marketing product, or
  3. remind me that I somehow manifested all of this as a learning experience,
  4. or that this is karmic

then I can’t be held responsible for my actions. Need more help with this because you’re itching to do one of the above? Read this first.

I was horrified the first time it happened…

“Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.”
~ Harvey Mackay

I remember, years ago, when I first started channelling.

It was excruciating.

My logical mind was stuck in judgement, cynicism, scepticism and disbelief. My soulful self trusted anyway and urged me on. I was conflicted, confused and stuck, with no-one to show me the way or help me.

And then my sister stepped forward.

She used her scientific curiosity and encouraged me to do the same. With her beside me I stepped more and more into the person I am today. I worked from a trance channel space, with my sister or trusted friends sitting with me, asking questions, guiding the sessions and recording them for me or taking notes.

At first I channelled Guides and Spiritual Beings. Their messages were helpful and wise. We found evidence of things that proved that I wasn’t making it all up. That helped me to not give up. I worked on my craft and became more and more competent in what I was doing. It was fascinating. I began to feel good about my abilities.

And then the awful day came.

I was with my sister and some Aboriginal friends; Vynette, Leanna, and Liz. We meditated together and then I settled into the trance space. But instead of channelling one of my Guides I channelled this squeaky-voiced, childlike being.

She told us her name was Sokli, and that she was what we humans would call a fairy.

My friends asked her many questions, to which she happily responded. Sokli was funny and earnest and talkative.

The session ended and everyone was abuzz.

Everyone except me.

I was horrified. I had just channelled a fairy. What if someone found out? How would anyone take me seriously ever again? I didn’t know anyone who channelled fairies. All the spiritual and psychic folk channelled dead people or Ascended Masters and Master Guides and Very Important Energies With Wise Sharings For Humanity.

Perhaps it was a fluke, I convinced myself. But at the very next session she turned up again. And again. And again.

Gradually we began to know her well. That was over twenty-five years ago, and Sokli has now become a dear friend and companion. She’s still funny and wise, and all of my students and clients who have met her have been entranced by her eagerness to help, her specific and personalised wisdoms about health, food, crystals, animals and plants. Sokli is generous and caring, and she has a beautiful innocence and straightforward way about her.

I’m embarrassed that I was so awkward about all of this emerging spiritual and psychic phenomena back then, and about people finding out that I believed in fairies. I still worried so much about how I would appear to others, and about my credibility.

Now I feel blessed to have Sokli as one of my crew.

Humans from all corners of the earth have long believed in spirit beings who came from the earth herself, and who could – at times – walk between worlds or dimensions. Not Gods. Not Angels. Not ETs. Beings different to ourselves who are intrinsically tied to nature and the planet. There are many names for them. Many cultural beliefs. Our Ancient Tribes have always believed.

Children believe in them.

But as adults in the modern Western world, we are taught that this is childish. After twenty-five years of experience, I beg to differ.

Come hang out with me and Sokli in Brisbane on June 22 (Details here) and find out for yourself.

And don’t worry if you live too far away to make it. After the event we’ll create a special online package to share the magic with you, no matter where you live!