The Week Ahead – Oracle for Monday 13 February 2017

“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.”
~ John F. Kennedy

Hello, Lovelies!

Here’s the oracle card I have chosen this Monday, and my take on the energetic outlook for the week ahead. I use any oracle or tarot cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. ‘Growth’ is from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Deck by Tori Hartman.

If you read my forecast for February, you’ll remember that February is all about turning inwards, and tuning in to our own wants and needs, staying true to ourselves and our goals despite our fears or what other people may tell us.

So, what gifts does Growth bring for you this week?

Growth reminds us that it takes time to work out who we are. It’s okay to be unsure. It’s also okay if it feels quite strange to begin honouring our own wishes, desires, decisions and needs after a lifetime of putting them second or hiding them off to one side.

Be aware – a side-effect of you beginning to speak up, or behaving and choosing differently is that some people might suddenly think that you’ve gone mad. Or that you need advice or therapy!

When we shift and change it can be quite confronting for the people around us who are still in the same space, and who expect that we’ll keep on being the same too. Our change creates change in the status quo for them, and change can be uncomfortable.

Growth reminds us that change and uncertainty are okay. There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to be fixed because you’re not broken. You’re just evolving.

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A big old tree began as a seed, which became a tiny seedling. Over time it grew and grew until it took the form you see today. But just like you it’s a work in progress. How the tree looks today is not how it will look in a year’s time or ten years time. Life is about change.

Embrace that concept of change this week. Grow. Move towards the light.

Trust your intuition and instincts. Keep growing, even if you don’t know yet what you are evolving into. It will all be okay. Embrace not knowing. Just keep growing!

Supportive crystals this week? Ametrine, White Howlite, Fluorite, Orange Calcite, Labradorite, Moonstone, Carnelian. Go with the one that feels right to you, or choose a few.

Helpful essential oils?  Young Living’s Joy or Acceptance essential oil blends, or  a combination (or singly!) of any of Rose, Rosemary, Lemon, Vetiver and Lavender. The Joy blend is fabulous if you are feeling anxious or uncertain, or a bit sad or stuck. It’s reassuring and uplifting; wonderful for gently shifting depression and self-doubt.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for a you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

It’s Okay to Keep Changing – and How to Cope with People Who Don’t Recognise That

Image from timrettig.net

Image from timrettig.net

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”
~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

 

I received another message this week that I thought was best answered on my blog.

Lilly writes:

“Hello beautiful. Just wanted to ask some advice. I’m feeling really flat and down and sad this past week. My issues are based in trust and loyalty around family. I am trying to take a holistic approach to life and health in general , have been trying as hard as I can to do and be my best. My ” family ” is still full of doubt , spite and criticism of me and my abilities as a mum and person. My heart is bruised and my soul is weary. Can you offer any advice at all please ? Crystals to work with, books to read, certain meditations, angels to pray to, advice on how to react or not reactionary. ? Anything ?? I know your very busy and have a lot on your own plate but I’m sitting here feeling so lost and down and I don’t know who else to ask. Any advice at all would be deeply appreciated.”

 

First of all, Lilly, here’s a big hug (((HUG))). It’s hard when we’re doing our best and consciously making better choices to lift ourselves up and to live by our own values, and then to get pulled down by the people we had hoped would support us. You can always call on your Angels and Guides. Just talk to them out loud, or in your head, and ask for their help and support. Loved ones who’ve passed over can also bring us comfort. Some people talk to God. GO with what feels right to you.

Lilly, this is a hard one, and I’m going to consider it from several angles. Please know that I am no longer writing just about you, but about so many people just like you, and some who are not.

 

When You Really Did Do Some Things To Harm Trust:

If there was a time when you made mistakes or poor choices, or were immature or had a bad attitude or an addiction, then it’s likely that you hurt the people closest to you. It’s painful for family and friends to watch someone they love be in that space, and it’s painful to be on the receiving end of their bad behaviour, lies, addiction or attitude. When you’ve been continually hurt by someone you become wary of being hurt again. It is hard to trust someone who has put you through that, especially if they have promised or pleaded that they have changed, only to then fall back into those behaviours, or to manipulate your sympathies to their own ends.

In that kind of situation where you’ve hurt others, you will have to earn that trust back. You may want to apologise and let those people speak their hurts to you, so that they too can feel heard. And then you need to let your changed life and your actions speak for themselves. I have seen many brave people work the AA Twelve Step program or similar, and go back to people they had harmed – to explain and to apologise and to offer restitution. Sometimes it helped heal the relationship. Sometimes it just enabled the person who’d broken the trust to make peace with themselves that they had done the best that they could to put things right. Family counselling can help. Or a good counsellor or support group can help you to forgive yourself, understand what happened and move on.

If you’re the one who has been on the receiving end of that harmed trust, it is perfectly fine to look for evidence of change through a person’s actions and day-to-day life, rather than simply accepting what they tell you. The old saying about talk being cheap is true when you have been let down many times before. I wrote a post about that here called Listen With Your Eyes

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When A Loved One Did Things That Harmed Trust:

Sometimes people we love lie. Or cheat. Or take sides. Or play favourites. Or are insensitive or mean. Maybe they have an addiction issue. Perhaps they have experienced abuse or trauma themselves. Or maybe they just made bad choices. People make mistakes. Sometimes, if everyone is willing to work on it, we can put broken back together. It usually takes time,  commitment, and the facilitation of a good therapist. I’ve known people who have forged better, more honest relationships after times of great hardship.

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BUT sometimes our loved one is a bully, a violent addict, a narcissist, a sociopath. Sometimes they are so broken or their behaviours so entrenched that all you will get is more of the same abuse every time you front on up to that relationship. Wanting or needing a person to change doesn’t make them change, no matter how hard you make changes to yourself, or try to handle the relationship differently.

In that situation, hard as it may be, you might need to cut your losses or put a lot of space into the relationship. Don’t put yourself into abuse ‘because it’s Christmas’ or ‘because they’re still my family’. Find a good therapist or counsellor for yourself. Work on you. Get a support network. If you’re an adult you have choices. You don’t need to continue to suffer that kind of behaviour. As a parent you don’t need to expose your child to that kind of behaviour.

 

When You’ve Changed and People Can’t Understand That:

We all grow and change over time. Some of us slowly. Some of us fast. If you’ve travelled extensively, and your family and friends haven’t. If you went to war. If you lost your partner to cancer. If you experienced trauma or chronic illness or some kind of ecstatic spiritual transformation…

Shared experiences are one of the things that unite us. If our loved ones haven’t got that same frame of reference you lose ground and connection. It can be easy to become distant. It isn’t that they don’t love you. It’s just that they don’t understand.

So, don’t expect them to. There will be other people who know what you are going through. Find them, and use them for mutual support and sharing. Or hold your experience close and sacred.

Image from www.alz.org

Image from www.alz.org

Reconnect with family and friends by exploring the things you DO share in common. Old memories, family traditions, people and places that mean something that links you to each other.

We can still be loved, and be part of a family or group, and yet not be fully known or seen or understood. Truth is, sometimes we can even be a mystery to ourselves…

 

When You’ve Changed For The Better and People Can’t Accept That:

Sometimes we grow, and the people around us can’t cope with the fact that we are different. Sometimes we’ve done our best to fit in but we can’t keep pretending. Sometimes we reach a point where we can’t tolerate a situation or relationship because it doesn’t align with our ethics and values, or we will no longer tolerate victimisation, bullying, abuse or unhealthy behaviours. Sometimes we become better, wiser, stronger, more educated, or in other ways different to how we were. We outgrow lovers, friends, and even families.

In certain circumstances we can choose to hide or minimise that change for short periods of time in order to maintain relationships or family harmony. But if you are put down for your transformation, if you are rejected or victimised because of your choices, if you experience abuse – verbal, emotional or otherwise, then it’s time to leave that relationship behind, and to create relationships with people who value you. Value yourself first. Value yourself enough to walk away from those who belittle and diminish you.

Above all, Lilly, It’s important that you value and love yourself. That you make healthy choices for yourself and for your children. That you allow yourself to be valued by others and that you stand up for yourself, protect yourself, and keep yourself and your children out of situations that are abusive and toxic.

Create the life you want for yourself through mindful choices and actions. Grieve the loss of the way things could have been, but don’t dwell on it. Be the person and mum that is you evolving as your best self. Know that in doing that you’ll attract to you the sorts of people who will fit better with who you are and who you are becoming.

Sending so much love your way, Nicole xoxo

Extra Coping Tools

You might find these posts helpful too:

How to get through the hard stuff

How to deal with toxic people

Crystals for highly sensitive people

Free Guided Meditation for the Solar Plexus Chakra

Guided Meditation for Emotional Healing

you-are-enough (1)

 

 

Last night I Dreamed of Owls

Image by James W Beck

Image by James W Beck

“I love the silent hour of night,
For blissful dreams may then arise,
Revealing to my charmed sight
What may not bless my waking eyes.”
~ Anne Brontë, Best Poems of the Brontë Sisters

 

Last night my dreams were all of owls.

The night sky was filled with them.

They watched me from every tree.

They followed me wherever I went.

I was not frightened of the owls. Instead I felt that finally I belonged. Their watchful observation made me feel safe.

Dream after dream, there they were. Eventually I flew up into the night sky with the owls. Auntie was there. My old Grandmothers too.

We flew through the dark night, watching the world below us. It seemed the most natural thing in the world.

Image copyright - David Tipling

Image copyright – David Tipling

I woke briefly, feeling happy.

My last dream was not of owls but Wandjinas – the great spirit beings of the Kimberley. I cannot remember how it ended. Only how it began.

This morning I can feel a shift inside me. I have a sense of waiting, of anticipation. There’s no hurry, but I know with every cell in my body that something is coming.

That’s okay.

I’m ready.

5 Tips For Creating Change

Image from Kaleidoscope Media

Image from Kaleidoscope Media

“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”
~ Frank Zappa

 

Change is rarely an overnight thing. True, lasting change usually requires more energy than that. Here are my five top tips for creating positive change in your life:

1. Don’t wait – begin it now. Don’t wait for the perfect time, for the stars to align, or for some magical sign. Change can begin today. Right now! All it takes is for you to decide and commit.

Image from Zero Dean

Image from Zero Dean

2. Start small. Real small. Tiny steps are good. 🙂

Image from Wallpaper York

Image from Wallpaper York

3. Be consistent with that small thing. Do that small thing every day.

Image from cuppacocoa

Image from cuppacocoa

4. Pick one thing, just one thing. Don’t overwhelm yourself with a whole pile of newness. Just do one small thing. Consistently. You can come back to the rest later.

Image by Anke Humpert

Image by Anke Humpert

5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Chances are, someone’s already been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Someone already knows how to get the thing you want, how to have that success, how to do that thing which means so much to you. Is there a website, a course, a mentor, a book, a coach that can help you?

Above all, remember this. It’s never too late to begin. Some of the most profound changes in people’s lives have come about from tiny, consistent actions.

Image from More Mag

Image from More Mag

Two powerful insights on Change and Healing

creek

“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.” 
― Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad

 

These last few months have been hard. Hard, because I’ve been so ill and it’s not relenting yet. Hard, because I have this struggle going on inside me. It’s one that’s been going on for years. Maybe it’s also your struggle.

It’s a need to be productive. A need to work. To earn my keep. To make my days pay. A need to be doing something!!!

Perhaps it’s genetic. Perhaps it’s programming. Perhaps personality.

But whatever the origin, it has been causing me some grief. Lately my days have shrunk so small. From hour to hour I don’t know if I will have any energy to lift my head, or if my head will even function when I do.

Part of me feels immensely guilty for being so still. So useless.

I know, I know. It’s not useless. It’s ‘taking time out to heal’. If you were me, I would give you that lecture.

And yet…

Here I’ve been. Sick, guilty and frustrated.

My husband took me to the beach a few days ago, and waited patiently as I hobbled slow as an old woman down to the sand.

I stood with my feet in the waves a while, and then sat down near the water’s edge.

Image by Coastal Dweller

Image by Coastal Dweller

Inch by inch the gentle waves erased the footsteps of all those who had passed.

There were no dramatic moments – over the course of a few hours the tide simply crept up the slope of the beach.

I found myself having a cry, surrounded by beauty, and filled with futility.

“You’re getting there, Nic. Patience… faith…” my wise husband whispered in my ear as he put his arm around my shoulders.

I kept watching the ocean, swollen from the pull of the full moon above. The ocean that meets the shore every day. The beach that is swept clean by her actions every day. Moon pulling on water. Water pulling on shore.

That was a powerful realisation for me.

The steady application of a gentle energy, over and over, gets things done.

If you want to improve your fitness, one day of exercise won’t make any obvious difference. But if you make it part of your daily routine that energy becomes a force for change in your life.

Fitness, wellness, education, writing a book, growing a baby, starting a business, developing a skill – from day to day we may see little evidence of change, but cumulatively those results will stack up. All we need to do is hang in there and keep doing that thing.

I’m so impatient to be well. I’m so impatient to be working and writing and living larger in the world. And my frustration at not being there yet is immense.

What I’m doing to heal myself is like the actions of those waves edging up the shore. I can’t see immediate and dramatic change. Not necessarily in a measurable way from day to day. But month to month, season to season, year to year I shall see those changes. I need to cultivate some patience.

My second insight came when a dear friend of mine, a doctor, came and shared tea with me on my veranda.

I confessed my distress at not being able to work, to write, to think. To even create a simple blog is a stretch for me right now.

“Nic,” she said reaching out and taking my hands. “Getting well IS work. It’s important work. It’s a full-time job.”

Bless her, she made me cry! What a big realisation for me.

After she left I lay on my bed and thought about what she said. Healing is a full-time job. She’s right. It is for me right now.

My day is a regime. Wake up. Meditate. Drug number one. Wait thirty minutes. Oil pulling for twenty minutes. Blog. Followed by breathing exercises. Drug number two with food. Drug number three after food. Food must be of a healing nature, with suitable nutrients and anti-bacterial, immune-boosting qualities. Food must also be medicine. Deal with any side effects of drugs. Drink suitable number of glasses of water. Rest. Dry skin brushing and shower. Mid-morning supplements. Kefir, which must be taken away from antibiotics. Prepare chinese herbs. Drink herbs. Stretch and move body. Sunbathing. Lunch (of healing foods, proven to kill bacteria or do funky good things to rebuild my body) and more tablets. Afternoon nap. Gentle exercise if I’m up for it. Late afternoon herbs and supplements. Detox regime, including castor oil packs and epsom salts baths. Drug one thirty minutes before dinner. Dinner (yeah, you know the drill…). Drug number two after food. Wait one hour. Evening herbs and supplements. Meditation. Bed.

Sometimes the thing we want (for me – writing books, travelling, spiritual and psychic work) has to wait while the thing we need gets done.

It’s about patience. Priorities. Of putting our attention to what matters most. And doing those small actions over and over until we get that result.

I know things will get better. I will get better. And from the beginning I was aware that parts of this journey would be hard. I can deal with that. I certainly won’t quit.

So what do you need to do in 2014? What’s the priority for you? What’s the game changer?

Let’s get there together!

Thinking of you and sending much love. I might not have the energy to respond to all of your comments on my blog right now, but I read every one. This is a beautiful community. Thank you! xoxo

Together we can do anything! Image from The Soul's Journey

Together we can do anything! Image from The Soul’s Journey

Tree Oracle Reading for Embracing Change

“It is not so much for its beauty that the forest makes a claim upon men’s hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air that emanation from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.”  ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Trees have long been known as Sacred Guardians of the Earth. Old trees are like wise old souls, full of an energy of calm and clarity. Today’s Tree Oracle images have been chosen specifically to help advise and guide you as you navigate through these current energies of change.

The energies of 2012 and all that went before are finally fading. Fresh possibilities are opening up for each of us. Opportunities for us to branch out in new directions.

Let each image speak to you in its own way.  One of them will have wisdom just for you!

Instructions for using today’s post

Scroll down through the following Tree images and then let yourself come back to the one you are most drawn to.

When you have chosen your Tree, scroll further down for your message. Take what resonates for you, and apply it in your life over the coming weeks.

Trust that you will be shown what you most need to know right now.

Love and Light,

Nicole ♥ xx

Let The Trees Guide You…

1. Mystic River Tree

2. Night and Day Tree

3. Radiant Maple Tree

4. Grove of Power 

5. Sacred Companions Tree

6. Nightscape Tree

Image from www.wallgc.com

Image from www.wallgc.com

7.  Socotra Dragon Blood Tree

Image from wikimedia

Image from wikimedia

8. Star of Hope Tree

♥ The Message and Gift of each Tree ♥

Each Tree image has a message for you. I have also selected a crystal to best support the message and energies of your chosen Tree.  You could wear or hold this crystal, pop it in your pocket, under your pillow or beside your bed. (If you’d like to know more about working with crystals click here.) The Action Step is a tangible step you can take to begin anchoring these energies of positive change in your life.

1.  Mystic River Tree:

♥ Message – It’s time to let your Inner Wisdom Shine. Why are you making this so hard for yourself? Relax and take a deep breath. You don’t have to reinvent yourself, or even the path you need to take. Teaching, communicating, guiding, healing, sharing. That’s your thing. The Mystic River Tree shows you that the world is like a mirror: reflecting back to you others whom you can use as role models; messages, ideas and techniques you can use on your journey; and reminding you to share your own gifts and talents with the world. You overwhelm yourself with the bigness of the task, when all beginnings have always started in humble ways, and small sharings. From little things, big things grow.

♥ Crystal – Clear Quartz  

♥ Action Step – Break your ideas down into small do-able tasks and find a role model (in your own field or even just someone that you’re drawn to) so that you can learn from what they are doing. Pick one simple thing and make a start!

2.  Night and Day Tree:

♥ Message – You’re being called to move in a brand new direction. Don’t throw in your day job just yet though. For now, have gratitude for the security the known brings. It’s okay to stay in the job, the home, the relationship… No one but you need know of your plans for future change if it doesn’t feel right to share your hopes and dreams just yet. It is possible, for a time, to devote energy to two things – completion of the old, and beginnings of the new. These gentle beginnings will be so much less stressful if you allow the Universe to support you as you continue on your current path, while you create the foundations for a path that will one day take you in a whole new direction.

♥ Crystal – Citrine

Action Step – Attend to your security. Whether it’s emotional, financial, health, family, spiritual or a combination of all of those things – ensure that the bills are paid, that the pressure comes off, and that this sense of security can then allow you to take baby steps towards your ultimate transformation. Now is not the time for risks. Make sure those immediate foundations are strong.

3.  Radiant Maple Tree:

♥ Message – Embracing the possibility of earning an income from your gifts and talents. You know what? You’re the real deal. Your ideas are sound. You’re coming from a place of integrity, what you have to share is wanted in the world. But… you have no confidence, no belief in your abilities, and you aren’t backing yourself when it counts. The Universe has just issued an invitation to you. It’s time! Trust, charge what you’re worth, offer up your gifts and talents, find some mentors and support and then plunge in. Your time is now. Begin!

♥ Crystal – Red Jasper

Action Step – Confidence through action. We can’t wait for confidence to come, we need to act in order to DEVELOP that confidence in ourselves and our abilities. Identify some action that clearly shows the Universe you are open and ready for business, no matter how humble that beginning may be.

4.  Grove of Power:

♥ Message – You need a team – it’s so much easier than trying to do this all  on your own. Just because you CAN do it, doesn’t mean that you HAVE to do it. The next step in your growth is to create that support network. There are few people who have succeeded entirely on their own efforts. Don’t be afraid to draw people to you who can help you become all you desire to be. Teachers, associates, affiliates, mentors, spiritual guides, assistants, health care professionals, accountants, researchers, house cleaners, child minders, dog walkers, whatever it is that you need – look for ways that others can advise you, build your skills or free up your time, leaving you more opportunities to do what you do best.

♥ Crystal – Sodalite

Action Step – Delegation. No-one can do everything themselves. Find one small area that you are ready to hand over to someone else, and act on that. Practice allowing yourself to be open to support in all its forms.

5.  Sacred Companions Tree:

♥ Message – Trust! There is great connection and love on its way to you. This may take the form of a love relationship, a friendship, a mentor, a pet, or even a child. For some it may also include those from the spirit realms. Open your heart. Breathe in Love. Accept healing and hope. Know that this life is a journey meant to be shared.

♥ Crystal – Amethyst

Action Step – Get clear about what you want! Write a list for the Universe. What is your heart’s innermost desire for companionship? What are you ready to heal or let go of? What are you now ready to call in to your life? Be as specific as feels right for you.

6.  Nightscape Tree:

♥ Message – Have patience – you’re a work in progress and it’s all still unfolding. The ways of the Universe can be both gentle and profound. Expect to feel a readiness for change without knowing what that change may be. Inspiration and guidance will come to you in many forms, including dreams, cards, personal messengers, music and books. Know that your intuition and Divine Synchronicity will lead you in unexpected but wonderful directions. Stay open. Stay alert and watchful, but calm… All is well.

♥ Crystal – Moonstone

Action Step – Journalling, visualisation and meditation will begin to reveal the path to you. Spend time on your own, and trust that the vision for your future will unfold piece by precious piece.

7.  Socotra Dragon Blood Tree:

♥ Message – Build scaffolds for your ideas. Create structure for your passions. Passion and keen interest is a sacred energy that aligns you with your heart’s purpose. But passion without structure cannot create stable foundations or a sustainable future.  Right now you need a plan. And from that plan you need to create structure. A routine. Goals. Priorities. Not to make life harder, but to ensure that you can make your dreams reality.  A brilliant time for study, new undertakings and all forms of renovations for the body, mind, spirit and career. 

♥ Crystal – Ruby or Ruby in Zoisite 

Action Step – Plan, diarise, investigate and organise. Determine your short and long term goals and then break those goals down into smaller achievable steps and targets. Implement those plans. Reassess often.

8: Star of Hope Tree:

♥ Message – Now is a time of endings. Patterns are being broken, hard times and suffering shall fall away. You are called upon to have courage, to look deep into your own heart and to let go of all that is holding you back. Know that you will not remain empty-handed for long. Sometimes we need to put our burdens down first, before we can pick up something new that will be more suited to our needs, talents and energies. Ask for help if it is needed. Seek professional guidance and emotional support, call upon your Guides, Angels, Ancestors and God, whatever you perceive that energy to be.

♥ Crystal – Smoky Quartz

Action Step – Identify a habit, relationship or pattern that you are ready to change.  Look for guidance in bringing about that change. Research, find support and actively seek to create something new that better serves you.

PS – If you’d like to do further work with letting go of those old energies of 2012 you might enjoy my free Guided Meditation for releasing 2012.

 

There’s a Change in the Air…

Image from Reliable Air

Image from Reliable Air

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” 
~ Barack Obama

Can you feel it?

There’s great shift coming. Great change.

There’s nothing you need to do, if you choose to stay where you are. If you want your life to keep looking like it always has. If you want tomorrow to look like yesterday.

But, if you are ready for change, or even if you’re just prepared to contemplate it, then this energy that’s coming will help you to shape a new tomorrow.

Image from Dream Culture

Image from Dream Culture

If you want to, you can ride this energy of change. You can choose – in this moment – to make fresh choices, new decisions, take a different direction, start something, end something, begin again.

Take some time to consider your life. Aren’t you ready for this shift? Aren’t you ready for something other than what you have right now?

The whole Universe is conspiring towards your success.

If I had one piece of advice for you today, it would be this:

Let go of the past.

Look forward.

Dream boldly.

Believe that it’s possible.

And in any way you can, begin!

Image from www.425mom.com

Image from www.425mom.com