Letting Go – Do you need to? How to decide!

“Be brave and let go. Let go of fear, and pain. Stop holding to the thing that is tearing you apart. While you hang on, grimly gripping and clutching this to you, you deny yourself freedom, new gifts, love. It is madness to presume that you are more wise than the Universe. Let go. Trust.” ~ Nicole Cody

 

There are so many reasons why we struggle with letting go.

Some of us don’t like to fail – if we say we’re going to deliver, if we take a marriage vow, sign up for a deadline, have ethics that are all about family or mateship, hold strong religious or spiritual beliefs, made a public proclamation about a certain thing, have other people telling us that this is what we need, then we may hold onto a person or situation longer than necessary.

Sometimes we spend our lives thinking about everyone else; not wanting to let people down, wanting THEM to be happy even if we must sacrifice something or all of ourselves to do that. Perhaps we have been raised to see this as worthy behaviour, or the way to be lovable – earning love through good deeds and sacrifice.

Sometimes we become so fixated on achieving the end goal that we stop asking ourselves the right questions: “Does this still serve me?  Does this still honour me?”  “Did it ever…”

Sometimes we’ve let something define us for so long that we no longer know who we are without that thing in our life. Even if it’s killing us or making us miserable.

Sometimes we let our heart rule our head. Sometimes we let our head rule our heart. And it’s not making us feel good. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Or maybe we are afraid. Afraid that if we let go nothing will ever come to replace it.  Afraid that people will judge us or turn away from us, or leave us. Afraid that if we let go, the thing might suddenly come good, and all our struggle will have been worth it.

Sometimes we think we don’t deserve any better.

So how do we know when we need to let go?

When duty is the only thing that drives us and all the joy has faded from our lives. When we’ve forgotten the reason we signed up for this in the first place.  When we’ve become indifferent to life, our relationship, this thing… When our health is in tatters, when the person in the mirror is a stranger, when our finances are in ruins, when we’re choking down anger and resentment on a daily basis, when we are no longer a person we like or believe in, when we’ve lost ourselves, it’s time to let go.

When we have gotten to a place where everything is hard, everything is dark, where we can see no place in our lives for hope, or joy or happiness, then it’s time to let go. When we can no longer keep our eyes open and our hands on the wheel, and we’re popping pills to keep going, white-knuckled from fear and exhaustion, it’s time to let go.

When it’s in the past, where we have no way to change it, we need to let go.

Why do we need to let go?

When we are in struggle, we are out of the flow of Universal Good. In that place where we are battling against the current of life we exhaust ourselves, and often have nothing to show for our efforts. It is all hard, hard, and harder.

When we surrender and let go, we stop swimming against the current. Life picks us up and supports us and begins to move us in a new direction. There is a wisdom and grace in the Universe that far exceeds our own.  It we can only trust and let go, finally, we can begin moving towards a better future, to new opportunities, new relationships, new adventures.  We give ourselves a fresh start.  We give ourselves a chance to be happy, a chance to find ourselves and to open ourselves to bright new possibilities.

Even if that means for a time we must sit alone, hands empty…

How do we let go?

Sometimes we need to ask for help. It’s not important to have the answer, it’s only important to have recognised that we need to change. There are many skilled and caring people in the world who can help you make the shift once you’ve decided that it’s time.

Sometimes we will already know what to do.

All change requires effort, but change is possible. If you know you’re unhappy and you can longer work out why,  imagine the current choices and relationships in your life. Imagine the problems. Now imagine removing them. Is there a sense of loss or panic, or a sense of relief? Sometimes it’s as simple as that.

Sometimes we only need to put our burdens down for a time. When we’ve rested, or found someone to share the load, then we find we want to continue, that we can continue.

So many times we let go of the job, and we land on our feet. We let go of the relationship, and we meet our soul mate. We pack up and go, and an unexpected direction leads us to a happier and more fulfilled life, unlike anything we could have imagined for ourselves.

When not to let go

You’ll know it. It’s as different a feeling as night is to day. This is an energy within you infused with light, hope, clarity, determination, strength, courage.

It’s the thing that helps you keep swimming, towing a drowning soul with their head above water, when you are both exhausted. It’s the thing that helps mothers lift a car to release their trapped child. It’s the voice inside you that tells you to call someone, or turn up at their house, or dash into a burning building. It’s the conviction that helps you stand by someone when you believe in a better outcome for them but they are in a place where they can’t yet see it for themselves.

That’s the energy of Love. That’s the feel of God as our wings. That’s Divine Grace working through us. There is something within us that will not give up the fight, something within us that KNOWS we can do it, that we will do it. That we would rather do this and die trying than to walk away. This is a feeling of being energised, vital, alive, burning with a seering focus.

Image from www.thewinchesterfamilybusiness.com

 

Tune in.  How are you feeling? Answer yourself honestly.  Make a decision.  Trust…

I’m holding you in my daily prayers and meditations. You’re not alone in this. I’m with you, and I believe in you,

All my love, Nicole ❤ xx

The Non-Believer and The Amazing Offer

“I was a terrible believer in things,but I was also a terrible nonbeliever in things. I was as searching as I was skeptical. I didn’t know where to put my faith,or if there was such a place,or even what the word faith meant, in all of it’s complexity. Everything seemed to be possibly potent and possibly fake.” 

~ Cheryl Strayed

 

 

This is a long story, so I’m going to tell it over two days. It might seem like a couple of unrelated stories to start off with, but I promise you it comes together at the end.

So, let’s start at the beginning…

Earlier this year a friend put me in touch with a business coach – a very successful man who had guided her and many others to be able to grow their businesses and themselves. All of these people had existing very successful businesses, and this coach had helped them to move to the next level.

It seemed like a good fit. I was ready and looking, and he was spoken of very highly. He lives overseas so I booked in a skype session with him, feeling very excited.

And then it all went pear-shaped.

What did I do, he asked me.

I’m a psychic, I said, and a metaphysical teacher. I help people to connect to their own intuition and psychic abilities. I blog too.

And you make money from that? His voice was skeptical. In fact, there was more than a hint of something else there. That thing was ridicule.

Yes, I said, I’m doing okay. My initial enthusiasm was fast waning. Bewilderingly, I began to wilt beneath his scrutiny.

Really? But you must have been something else…. before… this… he added.

I explained that I had once owned a very successful training and communications business, with many government and large corporate clients.

Good. That’s where the money is, the coach said, visibly relieved. That’s what you need to go back to. I’m happy to coach you around that. We should be able to make something fly really fast for you there. And I’m thinking now… imagine how you’d go creating online courses for people? Or teaching that? Brilliant!

But that wasn’t what I wanted to do.

When I told him that, he announced that he couldn’t work with me.

I’m a total non-believer in that psychic nonsense, he said. And further, he thought taking me on as a client would reflect badly upon his own ‘brand’.

I got off that call feeling bad about myself and my place in the world.

To make it worse, I heard back from my friend that this coach had trash-talked me to her, saying that I’d ‘wasted my education and abilities to peddle New Age crap to soccer moms and trailer trash’.

Ouch. Talk about confronting! Because of that call I questioned every choice I’d made. I questioned whether my life and what I was doing with it was worthwhile, whether I was actually doing something meaningful, or whether I was deluding myself.

The successful business coach reduced me to feeling like a loser. I seriously wondered if I should have gone back to the corporate world after all.  It rocked me more than I’d expected and I’ll be honest in sharing that it took a few weeks to recalibrate my internal equilibrium.

Fast forward to last week.

A gentleman I worked with in the corporate world ten years ago contacted me and offered me (and my shelved company) a three-year contract if I would go back and head up a task force for a project I’d once been instrumental in getting off the ground. It was a seven-figure gig. Per year.

Per year. That’s so much money.

But it was a July 1 start, so no holiday for me (I’m meant to be flying out on May 29 for 6 weeks). I’d be working with people I don’t like. And I’d need to be based in Canberra for three years. They’d own me, essentially. For which I would be very well paid. I’d have to close my psychic business down. Cancel my workshops and retreats. Walk away from everything I’d been building. I was actually considering it, and then the guy said something that made all my alarm bells sound.

You’re the only person I know, Nicole, who specialises in impossible deadlines.

There it was. I’d be working til I dropped. Just like I had the last time we’d worked together. The answer had to be no.

Still, I couldn’t say it. I told this man I needed to discuss his offer with my husband and would get back to him next Monday, after which I felt sick and couldn’t sleep for days for wondering what I should do. Although my husband was sure I needed to say no. And in my heart I knew without a doubt that I needed to turn it down.

But the money…

So much money.

Perhaps worse than that was the fact that I knew if I took this role I would finally have the approval of certain family members, and of some friends who have turned their back on me, given what I now do with my life.

Ben and I talked about it endlessly. Or rather, I kept trying to talk about it and come at it from different angles while Ben listened patiently. Wisely, Ben reminded me of what had happened last time I’d worked on this kind of project. How I’d spend weeks getting four hours sleep a night to make things happen. How I’d eaten stress breakfast, lunch and dinner. Finally I couldn’t come up with one single legitimate reason to accept the contract. I love my life here at the farm. I love my work. I’m really happy, and I’m finally on the path to health. I’d be throwing all of that away, just for money and approval.

I can’t go back to that jungle, I said to Ben. But you know what? I’m just going to throw it out to the Universe anyway. Because I still feel a bit doubty. I’m going to trust that somehow I’ll get confirmation one way or the other, from outside myself.

The very next morning (Friday), there it was in my facebook inbox. A message from one of my students.

Hi Nicole, you featured in my very big dream last night. I am not sure if this message was for you. You said to me you were here to help life and “life is love”. That is why you can’t go to the jungle! Just thought I would share. Much love T xx

They were almost the exact words I’d spoken to Ben.

I’d love to tell you that I was able to let it go after that. But no. On Saturday night I felt quite teary and depressed. I was feeling as if my blog and my psychic work and my teaching didn’t matter. I wasn’t making enough of a difference. Maybe I had it all wrong.

Even on Sunday I couldn’t shake the feeling. I fumbled through my day off in a miserable space of self-doubt.

And then late in the day I received a series of messages on my phone that arrived via facebook. Something made me look at them. What happened next brought me full circle.

But I’ll tell you about that tomorrow…

2015 – Guidance for the Year Ahead

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“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
~ William Jennings Bryan

“Ah, Nothing is too late, till the tired heart shall cease to palpitate.”
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Happy New Year and welcome to the energies of 2015!  I have no doubt you’ve already begun to feel the pull of this new year. Her bright possibility and call to action are loud and clear. She is intoxicating in her sway.

Let me tell you more about her!

I have one tarot deck that I use only for the first day of the new year.  For over 20 years I have worked with this deck as a touchstone to set the themes of my year ahead so that I might live with greater awareness and understanding.  I don’t use the cards as a predictive tool – rather I use them for reflection, and to seek guidance about qualities, actions and perspectives that might benefit me over the next twelve months.

Just after midnight I asked for one card for you – to give YOU guidance over the year ahead.  This is my personal interpretation of that card for you.

Take what resonates as truth for you, and discard the rest.

THE MOON – Insights for 2015

Image from pixgood.com

Image from pixgood.com

“The Moon’s gates reveal the unlimited splendour of the Soul.” ~ Anon

 

2014 was a consolidation year – a year to anchor dreams, to commit to change, to end things and to lock things down. It was a year for facing up to our reality, including problems and long-standing issues. It was a year that supported the logical and rational.

In 2014 we began to see that it would no longer be enough to live to please others, or to make our life a quest for external acknowledgement and approval. 2014 required us to dig deeper, and to begin to understand who we truly are, and what calls us. 2014 made us re-evaluate, to long for and begin to work towards wholeness. It also helped us to find and appreciate our inner strength and tenacity.

 

2015 is a year of expansion. A year of possibility and opportunity. There is so much that this new year can gift us. But it demands something in return.

Authenticity. A need to drop the mask and present ourselves honestly – with vulnerability, and with all of our glorious imperfection.

To make the most of 2015 we really do need to start by being true to ourselves. And then we must make choices based on alignment with our authenticity.

If we do that, magic will begin to happen!

2015 is remarkable for two main reasons:

1. We are being given the opportunity to finally let go of significant limiting behaviours, patterns, relationships and beliefs that have been holding us back, and that no longer serve us. To do this we must first sit in awareness, and catch ourselves in that space of limitation. Then in the moment, make a different choice. Think differently, speak differently, behave differently. Don’t live on automatic pilot. Take responsibility for our choices and actions. There is so much power available to us when we live our life from the present moment with clarity, focus and awareness.

walkaway

2. 2015 is also about advancement. The Universe is encouraging us to go after what we want, and what supports our life purpose and Highest Good. It’s a year for dreaming big, but it is also a year of ACTION. We’ll do best with a plan, some definable goals, and a mindset of growth and expansion. Think learning, possibility, support and vision. Take advantage of opportunity, and actively work to bring about change and growth. We must make an effort in order to see an outcome.

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In 2015, to really grow and shine, we MUST let go of making decisions based upon duty and the need to gain approval and acceptance from others. We must begin to live for ourselves, being true to our own needs and desires. Not from a place of selfishness. No. From a place of honesty. From a place of valuing ourselves as much as we value others.

Being honest is important in 2015, and that may be a difficult road if we’ve been lying to ourselves about what we want, what makes us happy, or if we’ve created a life around putting other people and their happiness ahead of our own. We’ll need to own our truth, our limitations, our obstacles. We’ll need to own where we are right now in order to have any hope of scaling the heights of our own possibility.

At the same time, we’ll feel that we just CAN’T go on living the way we have been. We’ll be compelled to hold ourselves to a higher standard. We’ll crave that opportunity to liberate ourselves and to be more fully whole.

There is a great opportunity this year for us to remake ourselves, redefine ourselves and make considerable progress in the areas that matter most to us.

We will find that it no longer works for us to be in jobs, relationships and situations that compromise our integrity and prevent us from living authentically in the world. We will also find that we can’t keep treating ourselves meanly and with a lack of respect or care.

Our hearts and heads are finally learning to work together. We’ll be able to hear that clarion call of our intuition, and the music in our heart – and it will drown out those old stories of duties, limitations and perceived lack.

This coming year also provides the energy for drawing to ourselves lovers, life partners, friends, colleagues and business associates who WILL uplift and support us in our quest for greater authenticity and truth in our lives and our loves.

2015 is a powerful year that will be noticeably and meaningfully shaped by our choices, decisions and actions. For people who have done the self work, and who are prepared to continue to ask more of themselves, 2015 will be the year where it all changes…

For the better, of course. 🙂

I’m wishing you your best year yet! A year rich with meaning, and filled with love, support, kindness, well-being and flow.

Bless ♥ Nicole xx

Shine-Your-Own-Light

Becoming Who You Always Were

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Right now, here on retreat, my goal isn’t just to teach my participants new things. Instead, my goal is to help them uncover and live more fully as they already are.

It’s the same for everyone. Inside you, there is already someone magnificent. There is already a whole and comprehensive soul, with gifts to share, and wisdom to express.

You didn’t come to this life broken or incomplete. Sure, we’re all a work in progress, and we evolve and grow in response to the circumstances around us, but fundamentally and energetically we have this core essence that remains constant. Our best life becomes the expression of that essence.

That essence makes itself known to us through our preferences. From an early age we enjoy certain things more than others. We excel at, or stay focused on, particular things. It expresses itself through our personality, and it speaks to us via our intuition.

Intuition is lightning fast. The thought comes to us. The idea arrives fully formed in our minds. We instinctively want one thing, but not another. We feel good about that thing. Something about it calls to us. The knowing or the answer sits inside us. We feel it. It fills our cells with certainty.

But we live in a culture that values reason. That prizes the intellect.

From the earliest age we are taught to doubt that knowing.

Image from Parenting Hub

Image from Parent Hub

Mumma, I want this beading kit.

Why do you want that one, honey?

I don’t know. I just do. (There are no words. Just desire. Inside, the creative energy of the child is fired up. She can see herself making patterns and designs. The colours are so pretty. It’s calling her.)

That’s not a good reason. This toy’s a bit young for you. See, it says here on the box Ages 3 and up. You’re six now. A big girl. Which one do you really want? Don’t you like the doll in the yellow dress better?

After repeated episodes of others influencing our decisions, or questioning our choices, we begin to question them ourselves. Instead of trusting this guiding force within us, we begin to run everything past our conscious mind. We think about it. We reason it out. We find facts for and against.

We are no longer in the realm of feeling, and knowing. We are in our heads. We are thinking, and over-thinking. Our confidence in ourselves and our choices is shot. We begin to look to others for validation and approval…

Our essence is always here, inside us. Our intuition is always here to guide us. There is a great power to be had in allowing ourselves room to simply be. Space to sit with ourselves and what is. Time for letting that intuitive wisdom bubble back up to the surface after having been suppressed so long.

How we tune back in to ourselves? Here are a few simple things you can try:

  • Keep a journal. Write regularly, then read back over it and look for themes. Your true interests and passions will shine through.
  • Spend time on your own in nature. Nature soothes, and strips away all the head talk, leaving you alone with your true, wise self.
  • Seek out activities and hobbies that you enjoy. Spend time doing them, and feeling that sense of joy and being absorbed in something meaningful to you.
  • What made you happy as a child? If you’re not sure. ask someone or look at old photographs.
  • What music, interests or hobbies make the hours fly past?
  • What did you always enjoy doing in the past? (That might mean quite a long time ago!)
  • What things came easily to you? Skills, talents, behaviours.
  • What things do you REALLY not enjoy doing or experiencing? (This show you clearly who you aren’t!)
  • Around what areas do you have the most doubts? Where do you seek the most validation or approval, rather than trusting yourself and your abilities? Where do you hold yourself back? (This is a BIG sign that this thing is very important to you, and part of your natural talent.)

I encourage you to start tuning in, and getting a stronger sense of who you already are, and always were. The authentic essence of you is a beautiful and powerful force, waiting to be expressed in your life.

If you’d like to do more work with developing your intuition you might enjoy this free, short series of eight lessons:

Strengthening Your Intuition – A Program of Exercises

Image from lovethispic.com

Image from lovethispic.com

Image form imgion.com

Image form imgion.com

5 Helpful Questions for Your Monday

“At the end of the day, the questions we ask of ourselves determine the type of people that we will become.” 
Leo Babauta

 

Here are five questions to guide you this week. Ponder them, and put the answers into action in your life. Much love, Nicole xx

1. What do I most need to get done this week?

Image from Detavio

Image from Detavio

 

2. What is one simple daily act I can perform to nourish myself all week?

 

3. Whose company will most benefit me this week?

I know, I'm a geek, but it's like... YODA! Image from Comicvine

I know, I’m a geek, but it’s like… YODA!   Image from Comicvine

 

4. What small step can I take towards my dream this week?

Image from Rutgers

Image from Rutgers

 

5. What meaningful action can I take this week to support or uplift another?

Don’t tell me how good you are. Show me…

Image from www.freeflavour.com

Image from www.freeflavour.com  PS: If you’re not sure what the Australian slang expression FIG JAM stands for , I suggest you google it… (Warning: swears alert!)

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ” ~ John F. Kennedy

“Talk is cheap.” ~ Anonymous

Today’s post has come about in part after watching a good friend be deeply wounded and disillusioned by the bullying actions of some people who loudly proclaim themselves as ‘enlightened and spiritual’.

Another friend is considering walking away from their life’s passion because of the vicious and mean-spirited ‘critique’ (it wasn’t constructive criticism, it was a poisonous personal attack) from an instructor at an invitation-only Master Class intended to guide emerging artists in front of a public audience at a large gallery. The instructor used my friend to make themselves look good and to extract a laugh or two from the crowd. The attack left my friend floundering in self-doubt, shame and humiliation, suffering anxiety attacks and questioning everything they’d previously held as true.

Most of the people I know who are incredibly good at what they do are also among the most humble, no matter their what field of endeavour. They sit in their integrity. They acknowledge their ability as fact, but have little need to bang their own drum because they are busy being actively engaged in the things that define them. As the saying goes, they walk their talk.

The yoga teacher who awakens each day to perform her personal meditation, pranayamas and asanas before eating her healthy yogini breakfast and getting ready for her classes. Who then comes home to eat her healthy dinner and concludes her day with more yoga, as an integral part of her daily life and philosophy.

Image from tumblr

Image from tumblr

The business mentor who has had years of experience building and running successful organisations, and who continues to sit on the Board of Directors of profitable companies.

Image from leParisien

Image from leParisien

The artist who still attends classes and workshops, and considers themselves constantly evolving; working on their craft even though they are at the top of their field and lauded by their peers.

'Painting in Gold' by Chad

‘Painting in Gold’ by Chad

Whether you are looking to form a relationship, seek employment or learn something new (and especially if you’re a starry-eyed beginner), listen with your eyes. Don’t be seduced by spin.  Don’t be sucked in by wild claims and promises. When we are eager and ready to begin the journey, our enthusiasm often nudges our discernment over into a corner.

Eagerness and newness make us all vulnerable. And sadly, I’ve seen many a beginner derailed because the people they put faith in to guide them on their journey trampled and stamped out that fledgling flame. Or didn’t give them the tools they need to have that promised ‘success’, and then put it all back on the learner when they fail. “Oh well,” they say, “you mustn’t want it enough, you don’t have the ability, your attitude’s all wrong.”

There are so many self-proclaimed ‘guru’s’ out there.  Who do you trust? How do you work out who can actually support your growth?

Image from www.zdnet.com

Image from www.zdnet.com

Word of mouth is a great place to start.

Trust your intuition.

And look for validity of the person’s abilities or claims. Do they walk their talk?  Are they respected within their industry or profession?  Do they have a public track record?  Do their ACTIONS align with their mouth?

The ‘Law of Attraction Wealth Creation Coach’ who has a mountain of debt and lives on credit cards?  Maybe not your best bet.

The ‘Parenting Expert’ who has never had children of their own, or even had them in their home for any length of time.  Really?

The ‘Write a Best-Seller Workshop’ run by the person who has never been published. Perhaps someone who has already walked the path you want to walk would have more concrete advice to share with you.

Even more than that, are they a person you can respect?  Do they have the sort of values and habits you aspire to? Do they treat others well? Are they leading by example?

In this age of social media it’s easy to set yourself up as an expert. In fact there are courses in how to do that!

Back in the day, experts had… wait for it… expertise.  And expertise was hard won through experience.

There’s no magical pill or quick fix in this life that is going to take you from the bottom to the top of your particular mountain. We all have our own path to walk, and everyone has something to teach us, whether that’s through a positive or a negative experience.

The people ahead of you in the climb up your mountain will have valuable insights to share based upon their own journeys. Those insights can save you time, move you ahead more quickly, and help you hone your own skills and talents. So be an active player in your own development.   Use your discernment.  Do your homework.  Make sure they really are higher up that mountain, and not someone standing at the bottom with a giant megaphone and some smooth-talking words…

Take on board what resonates for you, and leave the rest behind.

Above all, don’t take it all too seriously.  Life is an adventure – a big messy glorious adventure. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Making My Life Work for Me! – A 6 Week Journal Program

Image by vgm8383

Image by vgm8383

“I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It’s all a question of how I view my life.” ~ Paulo Coelho

I’ve been quite overwhelmed with the flood of messages and emails since yesterday’s post on Remembering to take care of YOU!  Seems that many of you are feeling unfulfilled, overwhelmed, under-appreciated, stuck in a life where you’re just going through the motions or too busy looking after everyone else to even start on the things that are dear to your hearts.

Well my lovelies, that just isn’t good enough!  You are here to shine your light in the world! You have talents and desires that deserve airplay in your lives!

Perhaps you may remember me talking about the energies of 2013

‘2013 is a foundation year of growth and positive change, where we are reflecting these energies out from ourselves as we inhabit a place of stronger authenticity, awareness and connection. This year, as we sit in our personal power, we will feel a desire to contribute, to explore, to dream up new ways of being, and to action those dreams in the world.  It is a time for visionaries, leaders and the building of lasting change.’

Because I want you to make the most of this fantastic energy for change I’ve decided to create a simple weekly course, delivered right here each Monday over the following 6 weeks, to help you get clear about what’s important to you and how to make your life more meaningful and satisfying.

The foundation of this course is going to be:

  • Journalling
  • Gratitude
  • Meditation, and
  • Visualisation

and I’ll be holding your hand every step of the way.

'Nothing's gonna harm you' by Pulmoll

‘Nothing’s gonna harm you’ by Pulmoll

So to get ready for next Monday I need you to do a few things;

  1. Find or buy yourself a journal.  Choose one without lines because we need to be able to write, draw and glue stuff.  Let it be big enough that you can actually fit some stuff on the pages.  It doesn’t need to be expensive – even a kid’s cheap scrapbook or scribble book would do.
  2. Get some art materials together.  Nothing fancy – just some scissors, glue, coloured crayons or felt pens, and some old magazines you can cut up. You’ll also need some pens or pencils for writing with.
  3. Find a scarf, shawl or wrap in a favourite colour that empowers you.
  4. Choose a deck of positive cards (such as Angel Cards etc) or runes and a rune book.
  5. Select a crystal of your choice.

It’s going to be fun. It’s going to be enlightening. And it’s going to propel you into action.  Hooray for that! Bless ♥ xx

Image from ReLove Planet

Image from ReLove Planet

And here’s the full program, all in one place for you.  I’ll add the links each week as the new activities get posted:

Sensitivity is NOT a weakness!

Image from www.signatureln.wordpress.com

Image from www.signatureln.wordpress.com

“There are certain children who are told they are too sensitive, and there are certain adults who believe sensitivity is a problem that can be fixed in the way that crooked teeth can be fixed and made straight. And when these two come together you get a fairytale, a kind of story with hopelessness in it.

I believe there is something in these old stories that does what singing does to words. They have transformational capabilities, in the way melody can transform mood.

They can’t transform your actual situation, but they can transform your experience of it. We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay. I believe we have always done this, used images to stand and understand what otherwise would be intolerable.” 
~ Lynda Barry

Has anyone ever said to you, “Stop being so sensitive?”

Or is this something that you say to your family, friends or children?

Sadly in our society sensitivity has come to be seen as a weakness by many.  It can also be perceived as weird, precious or a questionable excuse to engage differently or less fully in life.  Today I’m here to defend the right of sensitive people to be what they are – sensitive!

It’s considered that as much as 20 percent of the population have a high degree of sensitivity.  Are you among this group? Dr Elaine Aron, the acclaimed author of the book The Highly Sensitive Person has a self test you can do here.

You can also read through my own check list here: Living as a Sensitive Soul.  This list is more slanted towards those who are also aware of their own psychic sensitivity.

I consider myself to be highly sensitive, and I’m guessing that if you’re a regular reader of my blog you may be too! By sharing my story, perhaps you’ll begin to feel more comfortable about your own.

It’s no secret now that I’m psychic, but I kept a lid on this part of my life for a very long time.  It was a part of my life I felt the need to hide or downplay.  I was embarrassed and at times even ashamed of that aspect of myself. I’ve had psychic ability since childhood, although as a child my gifts were much less developed.  I was simply known as ‘sensitive’, and yes, it was something for which I was often criticised or punished.  It made me feel different to everyone else, and it socially and emotionally isolated me throughout most of my childhood and young adult life, although I did my best to fit in.

I felt everything deeply – I was profoundly affected by the thoughts, emotions and actions of others, and by the world around me.  Even as a very small child I had a strong awareness of emotion embedded in people and places, and often struggled with the differences between how people acted and how I seemed to ‘know’ that they felt inside.  I had a gift for observation, and I hung back a lot. I was quite shy until I was sure of my surroundings, although I could also be extroverted at times. And I had intense passion for the things that held my interest.

Image from www.chinatripinfo.net

Image from www.chinatripinfo.net

I wasn’t only sensitive to feelings and emotions.  I was also at times a ‘picky’ eater; I didn’t often enjoy crowds or loud noises, although at times I could find them stimulating and exciting; rough rides like the Dodgem Cars at the local show upset me; and I was bothered by things like scratchy jumpers.  I was frequently told to ‘grow up’, to ‘get over it’, to ‘toughen up’ or to ‘stop being a drama queen’.  In fact I didn’t make a fuss about any of these things – being the centre of attention, or drawing focus to my differences, was the last thing I wanted!

What I really craved as a child was acceptance, understanding, emotional connection and support, and to know that I was loved and safe. And who doesn’t need that?  Now it is part of my life work to make sure that people like you and I are supported, connected, inspired and included. I need you to know that you are NORMAL, and that your sensitivity is a gift rather than a flaw.

As an adult my sensitivity has become more refined and mostly more manageable.  My psychic ability has also become more overt. I have finally embraced who I am, and my life is all the richer for it. I get energetically overwhelmed less often, although there are some physical places (like Port Arthur in Tasmania, which has seen generations of violent atrocities and cruelty) where I find that I simply cannot stay for any length of time.  I can tolerate crowds, mostly. I have learned not to take on the energies of others. And I  honour my sensitivity – no horror movies for me!

I have found that sensitivity and increased psychic or metaphysical ability go hand in hand.  When you are highly sensitive in one aspect of your life, you are generally sensitive in all other areas of your life (yes, this can include food and chemical sensitivity too!).  Not all sensitive people are shy and retiring folk – being sensitive just means you FEEL and notice things more. And sometimes you may need to balance periods of being extroverted or social with times of being quiet and withdrawn.

So here is my Ten Point Survival Plan for Sensitive Souls.  If you feel that YOU are a sensitive soul too I know that these things will help you.  If you are the parent of a Sensitive Child I encourage you to support your child and to help them accept their sensitivity as normal.

Image from www.staygirly.blogspot.com

Image from www.staygirly.blogspot.com

  1. Eat well.  Favour organic foods, with an emphasis on fresh, local produce, plenty of leafy green vegetables and root vegetables, neutral grains such as rice, pulses and yoghurt. Avoid processed food and sugar. Some people may need to avoid meat.  Others may need meat to ground them.  Listen to your body.  If you’re especially sensitive limit wheat as well.  Avoid alcohol, drugs and stimulants.
  2. Rest.  It’s one of the best gifts we can give ourselves.  Avoid crowded places such as shopping centres and football games when you are feeling particularly sensitive or energetically vulnerable.  Avoid difficult relationships and people who drain, upset or unbalance you.  Limit contact with the crazy-makers in your life.
  3. Take a good powdered magnesium supplement.  Your muscles and nervous system use magnesium to relax and it we also burn it like rocket fuel when we are engaging in energy work and psychic activity.
  4. Drink plenty of fresh, clean water.  Staying well hydrated eases stress on all levels.
  5. Spend time in nature.  A walk in the park, a swim, a bike ride, sitting under a tree, playing outside with your dog, sunshine, dancing in the rain…
  6. Avoid chemicals in your cleaning and personal care products as well as in your diet. Avoid places that have a strong artificial or chemical energy.
  7. Embrace gentle exercise, especially those modalities that support body, mind and spirit such as yoga, tai chi and qi gung.
  8. Meditate and Journal.  There are so many ways to do this – choose what works for you.  Explore your sensitivity!
  9. Find a hobby.  Spend creative time on your own, exploring the things that interest you. Most sensitive souls are also highly creative.
  10. Accept Yourself and seek out like-minded people.  Give yourself permission to live authentically and simply be yourself. We all benefit being kind to ourselves and from having friends who understand us.

You are beautiful just as you are!  Every person has something to offer the world, just by being true to who they are, and working with their natural abilities. Much love to you, Nicole xx

When your Heart says No…

Image from www.grassrootsy.com

“We need to find the courage to say ‘NO’ to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.”  ~ Barbara De Angelis

We’ve all been there.  The place that ticks all the boxes.  The partner our friends and parents love.  The dream job.  The thing we thought we really wanted.  The place we always figured we’d be happy to be…

Image from www.xfinitytv.comcast.net

But what happens when you meet that dream lover, or find yourself in that perfect place, or finally achieve the big thing, only to find that something’s missing?

You scratch your head, and check the boxes.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

It all looks good. It all adds up.

So why do you feel like you’re dead inside?

Life isn’t always about finding a partner/job/solution that ticks all your boxes.  After all, wasn’t it your HEAD that made the list up in the first place? Or, maybe even worse, it’s your Mother’s list, or your teacher’s, or something you found in a self-help book or some corner of the internet.

If it’s not feeling right, it’s because your HEART isn’t engaged.  And that’s where the magic happens!

Image from www.favim.com

Think back over your life, and you’ll soon know what I mean.  Remember the outfit you loved so much because it transformed you somehow.  The one you never would have chosen for yourself, because you didn’t think that colour suited you. But once you tried it on, you knew…

What about your unlikely best friend, back at school?  The one so opposite to you, and when you got together all you did was laugh and laugh. You came from different backgrounds, you looked completely different to one another, but you both were crazy about that one thing that brought you together in the first place.

Remember the weird combination of flavours that had you totally hooked at that little Thai street cafe on the last night of your overseas holiday – your whole life up until that point had been about the plain sort of food your grandma cooked.  Since then you’ve sought out food like that back home. You even COOK food like that at home.

Life is a glorious adventure, and it was never meant to fit so neatly into a plan, or a list or a flow chart. Certainly not one that is safe, sensible and completely without risk.  All the best stuff in life is the stuff you never could have made up for yourself.

Hearts have a wisdom all their own.  And the wisdom they share with you might not make any sense at all to your brain.  Or to anyone else’s brain. (But whose life is this anyway?)

Heart wisdom isn’t logical and yet it usually shows you the best path to happiness in life.

When your heart says NO, pay attention. When all the boxes are ticked, and there’s no gleam in your eye, no enthusiasm in your step, your heart is trying very hard to tell you something.

Haven’t you ever heard the expression ‘my heart’s just not in it’? That’s your heart saying NO.

When your heart says no, it’s asking you to stretch, it’s encouraging you to grow. That might feel a little strange at first.  It might even feel a little wrong.  Don’t confuse fear with intuition… What we come to love often looks or feels different to what we had expected in our mind.

When your heart says NO it’s because it understands that there is a YES just round the next corner, and if you say wrongly say YES to a NO, you close yourself off to the magic and miracles that give us the best and most memorable parts of life.

Tune in today.  Ask your heart.  Is it a YES?  Is it a NO?

When your heart says NO, be brave.  Move on…

Closing the Door on Abusive Relationships

The door is closing – Image courtesy of Brad Mongomery at Flickr

“You show others how to treat you.” ~ Dr Phil

This week I have seen two of the people I love most in the world finally end abusive relationships.  One walked away from a long-term love relationship.  One walked away from their ‘dream job’.

The woman who closed the door on an abusive relationship had been in that space for decades.  For many of those years she was blinded to just how abusive the relationship was.  There was never any physical abuse – it was all the sort of emotional and verbal behaviour that isolates, dis-empowers, controls and terrorises, mixed in with a few dashes of charming, and a few sincere-sounding apologies and cries for help.

Finally, with some help from good professionals, and by listening to the strong and determined voice inside her that had been pushed down for so long, she bravely ended things.

‘Joan of Arc’ by Howard David Johnson

I hope that she doesn’t spend her time grieving over what could have been.  I hope that she now grabs life with both hands and honours the beauty and vibrancy within her that was stifled by that man. There is still time to be all that she might have been.  There is still time for love and laughter and soul freedom.

My other dear friend is a man, who has suffered seven years of physical, emotional and verbal abuse as a regular part of his work day.  He was employed in his dream job, as an advisor to a woman in a powerful position.  He’d believed in her and helped grow her career. She’s a woman who is adored by many. It was strictly a work relationship.  My friend has had a few romances during this time, but life on the road with his work has usually ended them prematurely.  He’s given everything to his job.

The woman he advises and assists has ‘issues’.  But most people don’t know that, and the entourage around her work tirelessly and often thanklessly to make sure that the world doesn’t see that side of her.  In that time my friend has known bruises, cuts, scratches and broken bones.  When finally ended it was a large crystal ashtray to the mouth, which knocked out four of his front teeth. It took a doctor in an overseas ER to make my friend see that this level of abuse was unacceptable. The doctor, also a man, arranged for a police escort to go back to the hotel where the group had been staying so my friend could collect his things.

Despite the woman’s emotional pleading, apologies and offers of more money, he packed up his things, restored his dignity and closed the door on her.

2012 is really shaking relationships of all kinds up right now.  So take a moment and check in.  At home, at work, in love and friendships:

  • are you valued?
  • are you respected?
  • is there part of you that worries, modifies your behaviour, or spends time avoiding potential triggers?
  • does the relationship help you feel good about yourself?
  • do you question your worth and who you are, because of this relationship?

Life is precious.  Life is short.  You cannot be happy in an unhappy relationship.  You cannot know love when your lover gives theirs conditionally, or perhaps doesn’t even know how to love at all.

Take a moment and check in on the relationships in your life.  If they’re not what you need them to be, take action.  Happiness might be just around the next corner.

You might also find these posts helpful:

Knowing When to Let Go

What to Do When You’re Forced to Let Go

Don’t Play the Rescue Game

Oh, and my friend with the minced-up mouth?  He was offered a terrific job two days later, by someone who had admired his work for years and always wondered how long it would take before my friend left the position he’d been in. As soon as he’s had a decent holiday, my friend is stepping up into a whole new life. And I just know it’s going to work out well…

Image from www.pathtowellness.com.au